FAIL.

[sixtyandaquarter]

wow :lol:

 

[syphonmax]

SUPER OUCH @ Clizzz o_o



Well not only dudes strike out with the ladies, you know.

I've been sitting on this one because it's pretty humiliating.

Spoiler: Ugh, Very embarrassing FAIL

It's blatently obvious now, but I've uh ... A "fascination" with women.

Right before I met my husband, I was on the rebound from another relationship. Being the extreme self-preservationist I am, I decided to be on the lookout for getting lucky.

So I was at the grocery store (a fairly small one), and when I went in, after I used the restroom real quick, I couldn't help but notice that the [very pretty] cashier was ... Well, she seemed to be checking me out the whole time. I went to the candy aisle which was near the register, and the entire time she was staring at me, smirking in *that* way, raising her brow, biting her lip.

Well I was both exhilarated and nervous. I'd never asked out a girl. But she seemed to be "into" me. About 10 minutes of psyching up in the chips aisle later, I went to the register.

Very nervously, I was all, "I ... I couldn't help but notice you staring at me ..."

She smiled and batted her eyelashes and said, "Yeah, heh--"

So I was all, "Maybe you'd want to grab a drink sometime?"

Ugh

She stared at me, eyes gaping, mouth gaping, shocked. She even gasped. Then she started laughing.

"Oh no!!" She shrieked, "I'm --I'm not into girls! Oh NO!"

And totally red in the face, I was all, "--Wha, but then, why--"

Then she started laughing again and pointed at my shoe. I looked down.

"There's toilet paper stuck to your shoe!"

O_O

Incredibly beet-red, I just laughed a little, took my receipt, and ran out, never to go back.

Super ultra deluxe fail.

Gahahahahahaha leave your husband for another women rofl

That'll piss him off. erm....Your not the only Vennie, but thank god I don't get the intentions of asking a guy out that'll piss of some girls. I can just judge guys on the facial features and how they look like I don't mind that. It's like what I said to my friend

"A guy judging another guy is fine but when they go out it's a different story"

And yes my embarrassing fail came from something similar. I was walking down the street and my freind kept calling me gay so in the end I thought the only way to shut him up will be to admit to it but I may have admited it a bit too loud O_o. I had then had to say to a group of girls that I weren't then a guy came up to me and said "so your gay huh" and I said no and then I grabbed my friend by the arm and told him "let's get the f**k outta here"

Execpt what was worse was that one of our teachers was there and she actually thinks I'm gay I told her more than 20 times I'm not but she's convinced I am >_<
I hate teenage life xD (kidding IT ROCKS) 

 

[Venetia]

Uh ... I said right before I met my husband, i.e., I didn't know him yet  :lol:

You know I lived a while before meeting him  :tongue:

 

[sixtyandaquarter]

Seriously though I have the exact same story as Vennie, only I tried it with a chick and it ended up I had paint on my pants that looked - okay well enough.

 

[Clizzz]

xD, Vene. My experience hurt, but yours sounds downright painful, LOL.
@Sixty: Ahhh, the famous some-kind-of-unidentifiable-sludge-is-on-your-person problem. I once tried to talk to a girl, and she kept shying away from me. For the life of me, I couldn't figure out why she wouldn't talk to me. Anyway, my friend pulled me over and told me that I had somehow managed to get fudge on part of my left cheek. xD
All, my life I've been cruelly shunned by the female race. Even if a girl likes me, she won't tell me, she'll tell my sister -.-. The only girlfriend I've ever had, didn't even want to kiss, cuz' she was afraid of being caught by her parents.
My love life equals Ultimate Fail. xD

 

[sixtyandaquarter]

Back in high school, if we want to talk about strange marks on someone's person... there was this big rumor I was cheating on my girl friend with someone.

Now I'm weird.  I'd get cold because I was never in the damn school and outside at the bench, so I'd actually have chicks sit on my lap and I'd have my hands in their pockets and such.  Girlfriend knew this, cause that's actually how we met lol.  So anyway one day I had a red marker, and this girl I was supposedly cheating with was on my lap.  The marker uncapped.  We all know how fast good marker ink will seep right?

So anyway two different rumors started.  One included the girl's time o' the month, and the other involving me with my hands in a place that as the rumor goes was untouched and popped.  Even though I could show the marker to people, it dogged me for the entire year.
Worse that incident lead to a big mistrust issue and I got dumped the following week end right before a big social dealie.  High school.

 

[Clizzz]

Ouch, I can see how that could become an issue. High Schools a bummer, xD.

 

[zenrdy]

High School is a bummer. And why would you keep a marker in your pants? Just asking.

 

[sixtyandaquarter]

Why wouldn't I carry markers and pens and the like in my pocket?

 

[syphonmax]

GEHEHEHEHEHE
love is fun. i once liked a girl who turned out to be a total slut and a few weeks ago i told a girl that i loved her xD
I wonder if my friend told her i was actually being serious and yes i really did have feelings for her and i still do she actually makes me hesitate to say hello thats a whole new experience for me
and wow typing with ur phone is too dam hard xD
AND HIGH SCHOOL RULES WOOOO

 

[iceplosion]

High school...was...weird...it was a bunch of interesting experiences I'd never want to have missed, I had a lot of fun and met a lot of my best friends there but there is no way in hell I would ever want to do it again.
University rules  :shades:

 

[Rare]

what is wrong with you guys and the inabilty to act smooth around women?

Back in high school, if we want to talk about strange marks on someone's person... there was this big rumor I was cheating on my girl friend with someone.

Now I'm weird.  I'd get cold because I was never in the damn school and outside at the bench, so I'd actually have chicks sit on my lap and I'd have my hands in their pockets and such.  Girlfriend knew this, cause that's actually how we met lol.  So anyway one day I had a red marker, and this girl I was supposedly cheating with was on my lap.  The marker uncapped.  We all know how fast good marker ink will seep right?

So anyway two different rumors started.  One included the girl's time o' the month, and the other involving me with my hands in a place that as the rumor goes was untouched and popped.  Even though I could show the marker to people, it dogged me for the entire year.
Worse that incident lead to a big mistrust issue and I got dumped the following week end right before a big social dealie.  High school.

woah, i do the same thing...girls are always in my lap when im cold...and my gf doesn't mind.  however...er...never had that marker thing happen to me.  lol now im kinda scared to let anyone sit in my lap now...

>__>

edit: what is with people here always trying to prove how many women they've gotten/girls they like?

honestly you're all virgins i know it. cept u sixty...your just a playa.

 

[Venetia]

Man Sixty that does suck.

I mean, it--

Wait

... I'm out of PG-13 or lower FAILs.

:'/

@Elias: Heh heh, I'll bet anyone I'VE had more chicks than most of the dudes here. :P

But hey, it's the internets. No one can prove 'em wrong, so they can be whoever they like :D

 

[Clizzz]

LOL, Vene, time too start up that PRIVATE, password-protected topic, xD.

@Elias: Of, course I'mma virgin. How the hell could I not be, If I couldn't even get a kiss outta' my girlfriend. You sound like one of those guys who can just walk up to a girl and say "Hey, babe, Lemme buy you a drank". Me, well, because I've been so severely emotionally scarred by women, it's not as easy anymore. And being Homeschooled doesn't help that any more. But, College will hopefully prove more successful for me ... hopefully.

 

[mawk]

Severe emotional scarring? Sounds like a good FAIL.

 

[sixtyandaquarter]

Clizz, it's not "Hey, babe.  Lemme buy you a drank".  It's not even "Lemme buy you a drink".

It's "Hi, nice shoes.  Wanna fuck?"

 

[Clizzz]

DAMN, you are a player ... I would get ball-screwed for that ... Curse your brazeness Sixty ...

 

[Grathea]

Well, Clizz, you see, the thing is that some people actually do want to fuck. The trick is asking enough people that you find those who do.
And even if it doesn't work, it breaks the ice.
But I'd advise against that kind of brazen flirting with someone who turned out to be straight... but let's not get into that. Suffice it to say that it was a FAIL.

 

[Clizzz]

See, why do you people keep misspelling my name? If you can't say it right call me Rick. 

Yeah, dude, about the sexual innuendo, that really never works, 'cuz the girls I see mostly are tooo soft for that ... And the really hot ones, already have F***ing buddies ie. Boyfriends. So, yeah, that question still equals Screwed balls for me.

 

[sixtyandaquarter]

Clizzz, if a female takes offense you make it out like the whole point is to take it as a joke.

It's a great ice breaker, and you can always play it off.  "Oh, sorry!  You looked just like a friend of mine from behind - she has the same hair as you. Heh, we have this weird inside joke, my mistake."

"I'm sorry I just wanted to be funny.  I figured if I made fun of greasy guys who use the pick up lines like 'nice shoes they'd look better on my floor', I'd earn a brownie point."

Etc.
Plus it cuts down on the "can I tell this type of joke" thought.

EDIT:
Posted after Clizzz posted - ha I spelled your name right this time!
I misspell your name all the time because I'm used to seeing two duplicate letters at the ends of names, not three.  Does that count as fail?  Nah, still.