FAIL.

[Venetia]

God your landlady sounds like such a retarded bitch. --Sorry, just ... Damn, she just sounds like (from the decrips I've heard) one of those horrible types of people. You know, like those people who make it a point to say that soldiers are going to hell outside the funeral ceremonies of fallen soldiers, or like the parents you hear about on the news who kept their children locked in raccoon cages in the barn because they were "naughty".

Your story there does remind me of a time I was trying to move a glasstop coffee table. I grabbed it by the corner of the glass (yes, super smart), it broke off, and as it fell, stabbed me right in the forearm. Wasn't serious, but damn that bled a lot (and I still have the scar). :X

 

[Ellie]

When I was 3 I was pretending I was in a boat, in a bathtub. (Don't ask). The stick I was using as an oar, I got stuck in a hole in the tub. I tried to pull it out, and it stuck, then came out real quick and stabbed me in the forehead. I've looked like Harry Potter ever since.

 

[Skyla Doragono]

Your story there does remind me of a time I was trying to move a glasstop coffee table. I grabbed it by the corner of the glass (yes, super smart), it broke off, and as it fell, stabbed me right in the forearm. Wasn't serious, but damn that bled a lot (and I still have the scar). :X

I'm sorry, but I just lol'd.  XD;

I kinda had something similar happen to me -- only with my toe, again.  When I was really young, I dropped a large ceramic plate on my foot.  The nail on my big toe fell off -- the same one that I ended up getting surgery on and having the nail fall off later.

I don't have much luck with my toenails.  :x

 

[iceplosion]

When I was 3 I was pretending I was in a boat, in a bathtub. (Don't ask). The stick I was using as an oar, I got stuck in a hole in the tub. I tried to pull it out, and it stuck, then came out real quick and stabbed me in the forehead. I've looked like Harry Potter ever since.

Ouch.
Why does no one get these scars on their face treated?

 

[$t3v0]

Because then they have nothing to show at parties or on "first dates".

 

[Luminier]

*Sigh* I wish I could tell gorey tales of my various appendages getting sliced open, several digit nails falling off and other scarring events. I guess I'm just unlucky.

Oh, wait! I think I have one.

Okay, so once when I was really little(like, around six, or seven, maybe), I was goofing off in my back yard. You see, there was this tire swing(yay poorness!) hanging from a big ol' tree, which was very fun to play on. I loved to jump off of my little club-house, grab onto the rope, and slide down the swing. It was great fun.

But that day, I forgot that my father had put these sharp, little, plastic jiggies(I'm not sure what they're called) on the rope, to reinforce it, or something. But anyway, I jumped off of my clubhouse, grabbed onto the rope, and slid down, and I cut my hands up so bad. Ugh. I can still remember bawling like a baby(which I practically was) at the pain. So much blood.  :dead:

Did I explain that well enough?

 

[$t3v0]

That'll do just fine. I actually went :dead:

 

[Venetia]

Ouch o_o

You know I halfway like those moments just after something happens. The second or so of shock. Everyone does it. Like when the coffee table stabbed me. I just sat there, with the coffee table impaled into my arm, and stared at it, going "what the shit". THEN the pain settled in and all that :P

Once I had a gerbil (think hamster, with a tail) bite me on the hand and it held on. I lifted my hand, and the gerbil was still attached to it. Took me like 3 seconds of a 'WTF?' moment to go, "shit!" and flail enough for the damn thing to let go :P

(Then my dog ate it, midair, as it was flying off my hand. Weird and gross, but cool in a serendipitous way. Not for the gerbil. Or the bloody mess :X)

 

[zenrdy]

Veneita you have the best stories

 

[Luminier]

O_O Venny, I hope you're kidding about that last part. That would be both disgusting, as well as hilarious. On a similar note, my old dog(old in every sense of the word), used to catch mice, toss them up in the air, and eat 'em mid-fall. Gross.

Veneita you have the best stories

Nuh uh! Venetia's stories are way better!  :tongue:

 

[iceplosion]

I wanna hear some of the stories that are too "adult" for this forum (I have an awesome one but I'm only going to say it if someone has one)

 

[Luminier]

I wanna hear some of the stories that are too "adult" for this forum (I have an awesome one but I'm only going to say it if someone has one)

Well, Des told us that there was this one time when he couldn't get it up. That's pretty adult.

 

[Venetia]

O_O Venny, I hope you're kidding about that last part. That would be both disgusting, as well as hilarious. On a similar note, my old dog(old in every sense of the word), used to catch mice, toss them up in the air, and eat 'em mid-fall. Gross.

Totally not joking. It was totally cool and yet totally gross and sad at the same time. My dachshund, Hans (I miss the poor bugger, had to give him away when I was 10 ;_, was there next to me because he was super over-protective (lol, like a mini dachshund could do anything to an attacker anyway).

When the gerbil flipped off my hand, he flew across the room, and, in mid-air, Hans leapt up and bit him square in the torso. So hard it nearly cut the thing in half. Blood went everywhere. I ran out to call for help (I was bleeding a lot, too, but it hardly mattered to me), and when I ran back, the gerbil was gone and Hans was licking his chops.

:X

Must admit, though. It was a cool catch for such a little dog.

Oh, and you'll get no adult stories outta me! I don't *ahem* and tell. Explicitly, anyway

 

[iceplosion]

I wanna hear some of the stories that are too "adult" for this forum (I have an awesome one but I'm only going to say it if someone has one)

Well, Des told us that there was this one time when he couldn't get it up. That's pretty adult.

Well not really....mine is a little more....x-rated (note earlier post about math teacher in last year of high school)
Anyway it's 4am and since I'm getting up in three hours I should get some sleep, I'll post it tomorrow.

 

[Skyla Doragono]

Haaa... tire swings.  I only wish my next door neighbor had thought to reinforce their tire swing.  I was swinging on it one time I was over.  Next thing I know I'm staring up at the sky, my ass stuck in the swing and my legs half dangling up in the air, trying to figure out what the hell happened while their beagle started licking at my face and their daughter and sons were laughing their asses off.

 

[Rare]

Sigh.  ALL my fails:

Fail one: I was born.

Okay, FAIL ONE:  I was two years old...spinning around in circles on the carpet.  Suddenly I tripped and smashed my head into my moms big TV (those really old wooden ones that have like a stand connected to them).  Stitches.  Sigh.

FAIL TWO:  I was four years old...and I pulled this toy wooden wagon from the top of the fridge (there was a string attached to it) and it came down on my head RIGHT WHERE I scarred myself the first time.  Talk about a fail.

FAIL THREE:  I had one of those toy trucks that you ride on when I was 7...ran one right down a flight of stairs.  Oh my f-ing god pain.

FAIL FOUR:  When I was 10 I got smashed in the face with a baseball.  Nose didn't break, but it hurt like hell.

FAIL FIVE:  When I was 12...I climbed this really tall pine tree...this is sort of a two part fail...well in the tree there was this tire (some kids threw a small bike tire on one of the higher branches) and me, like an idiot, grabbed it and pulled it towards me...a whole few hundred FAMILIES of centipedes came falling down right on my face and in my clothes.  Freaking out, I tried to get down ASAP.  Well...I kind of fell right on my back from a few branch ledges up.  Ugh...

FAIL SIX:  2 years ago...me and my sister were biking (she was biking, I was rollerblading) and we were on this trail (it was a concrete pathway) and I was joking around and trying to grab her handle bars...and as I was doing that one of my wheels got stuck in her spoke (we we're going pretty fast) and I went FLYING face first into the concrete.  My sister just fell...with minor scrapes to her knees.  I got like 5 layers of skin taken off both knees and my face swelled like a BITCH.  Holy shit, I felt like a balloon.  To top it all off, I remember a jogger coming by and...he's like "Oh, that looks like it hurt.  Gonna leave a few scars!"  He never even asked if I was ok...or if I needed help...I was like ... WOW.

FAIL SEVEN:  Last summer...I went cliff diving....  Hit a few small sharp rocks at the bottom...ouch.  :\

Those are my most epic fails.  I'm sure there is more :x

 

[Nijiame]

hmm...this is more embarassing rather than a fail.

Alright, so even though I love to sing, I can't do it in front of people. So she told me that someone was on the other line [we were talking on the phone] and I started to sing quietly to myself. then she said "HI!!!" and I had just realised that she had been on my line the whole time and heard me sing. I was going crazy.
Then she pressured me into singing for her. My voice shaking like crazy, I began to sing, my voice shaking like crazy. Talk about embarassing. She liked it. WOW.

FAIL~N~WIN.

@ Elias ~ HOLY CRAP! I probably woulda shot myself if all that stuff had happened to me!! :crazy:

 

[Red Dawn]

That guy in fail 6 is an asshole.

A couple painful fails.
My family had had this cat, Otis, since i was a baby. When I was about 8 my parents bought my sister a dog (Max). My cat was first introduced to Max as I was holding him and Max came bounding out through the door (I was outside). Otis leaped up, onto my head, and dug his claws in. Max saw him and barked, and Otis went nuts. It took several minutes for my dad to come out and take Max inside, and meanwhile Otis was busy tearing off my scalp. Still got a couple scars on my forehead, the rest are hidden in my hair.

In year 6 (5th grade) I went to a new school. My classroom was awesome, it had a small second level (About 2-3m wide and the length of the class, almost) where there was art supplies and stuff. The staircase down was a slowly declining set of steps, then a little landing, then more steps to the left. Anyway, I was up on the second floor and I decided to take the quick way down - jumping. I leaped onto the landing from the top, and landed it perfectly, no problem. Then I jumped the remaining steps (I think I yelled 'Freedom' or something), and my head slammed perfectly into the sharp edge of a low overhang that was there to support the second floor. I blacked out for a few minutes, when I woke up there was blood all over the carpet and my head hurt like hell. I had to get it glued up (A fancy version of getting stitches where the cut is literally glued shut) and I had a few days off school 'cause of concussion or some such.

Little things...
Playing tennis, I pulled my racquet(sp?) up to stop the ball from hitting me in the face - instead my racquet did, almost broke my nose (A small piece of it broke or something).

I was trying to bike on a grind rail (flat, obviously) when I pitched to the side and fell off, landing on my front but also on the back of my hand - It was bent over, and when I fell on it, My wrist got torn up, sprained and everything (It was dislocated if wrists can be dislocated, there was mass bruising)

Swimming in a watering hole that was made by a 's' in a river, my bike helmet fell in and floated downstream. Being an idiot, I swum after it, and got caught in the current and taken downstream. The river took me about... 3km before it was shallow enough for me to stand on the bottom and walk out. I didn't get hurt, but the fail is having to walk over rough ground (Lots of rocks and prickle-bushes) all the way back to my bike in bare feet.

That's enough for now.

 

[syphonmax]

I tried doing the worm for my first time and I went face first into the floor my friend almost pissed himself laughing :down:

I know how to do it now though xD

 

[iceplosion]

So yeah, my adult fail, it was my last year of high school and something interesting had happened earlier in the year, one of the math teachers had taken a liking to me (She was just out of university, it was her first year there.....and I didn't take maths at that point) so yeah we ended up getting together in secret (that's another story, and it mostly took place outside of school and no fail was involved) so one day I was on my way to meet her at lunch, we met up in an empty classroom in the basement that was never used and we were going to...."study" anyway here's where the fail comes in, a girl had asked me if I wanted to meet up at lunch and I'd said, "Sorry, I'm busy" this had left a friend of mine completely shocked, after all she was hot and as far as he knew I wasn't seeing anyone, he said "Dude, why didn't you go meet up with her? I'm sure no one wouldn't would have minded if you missed football (Soccer to you Americans, we played everyday at lunch) today to see her" I said "I won't be there anyway, I've got to go study, I have a test after lunch that I forgot about"

So I went on down to the basement and met up with ******** (maths teacher) to "study" and after a minute or two my friend walks in!
Apparently he didn't believe my excuse about studying (I'm not really surprised) however he didn't plan to tell on us (she'd have lost her job, I'd probably have been expelled) so yeah he kept our secret I kept my affair (kinda weird to call it that but I have no other name for it) and it finished when I left for university and to this day no one but the three of us know about it.

As for those of you curious about our ages at the time, I was 18 and she was 23.