Xilef":3u0i1lkb said:
Keep at it potion, I'm cheering for you
Thanks. I was so scared about actually applying to retake my GCSEs cause I had a lot of misconceptions about it, like I really thought my equivalents were sufficient, I thought I had to pay to retake them and I thought that the course would take up a lot of time. Luckily all these are not true. I was just too anxious about the possibility that I waited literally a month to find out. (If I left it any longer they would have disregarded my application.)
StrawberrySmiles":3u0i1lkb said:
YOU CAN DO IT!!
:box: :box: :box: :cheers:
Thank you Strawberry! I need a more fighting spirit! :box: :box: :box: :box:
It feels like I'm kinda finally taking control of my life situation. I'm trying to change, become a better person and become a more positive influence rather than a sad story.
With that being said...
Sorry for this really long rant:
I really appreciate this support. I'm at a very low point in my life right now. I don't want to make out like anyone is a bad person, but I've never had true support or interest from my parents about my dreams, and it was only last year my brother started telling me I should go for it. However since we've moved in and we're struggling to pay rent, he's began saying I need to forget about college for now until I'm more financially stable. The Job Centre have also tried very hard to dissuade me from the idea and even my own mind has. But I'm trying to be resolute with this. I left my last job
for this, so if I didn't go for it, what would be the point of all this pain.
I don't think people really understand that I get anxious about this stuff. Like, not just "ohh I don't know if I should do this" anxious. I mean "I'll ignore it until it gets to night and then stay awake until 4am thinking about what a horrible fuck up of a human being I am." kinda anxious, and I really should get my mental and physical health checked but I haven't even got a GP in this city cause the application forms scare me.
I've been struggling but am trying to get myself into a better place... It's just that everything I try to do to change ends up becoming more involved and complex, it becomes an issue (be it an actual issue or an issue in my mind) when it really shouldn't be. Feels like swimming against a tide, and I'm not that good at swimming...
I
am just lamenting about life stuff, and I apologise but at the moment I feel I can just throw words around here without people seeing it as a problem. Every time I voice my anxieties to people in the real world, they see it as a problem that needs to be fixed, when what I'm looking for most of the time is just an ear to speak to.
Anyway, thanks for the support guys, here's to making my life better!!!
:cheers: :cheers: :cheers: :cheers: :cheers: :cheers: :cheers: