Joke Thread
- Thread starter Olivia
- Start date
Dann Woolf
Member
nahchito":ehv4x7cr said:
What's the difference between a mosquito and a lawyer?
A mosquito drops off when you die.
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A priest, a rabbi, a bishop, a bunch of penguins, a pair of nuns, a gorilla, an elephant, a duck, and Freddy Mercury all walk into a bar.
The bartender says, "is this some kind of joke?!"
Demosthenes2k8
Member
If someone was going to post the Stairway Joke, they're dead.
An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first one says, "Pour me a beer." The second one says, "Pour me half a beer." The third one says, "Pour me a quarter beer." At this, the bartender says, "Fuck you all" and pours two beers.
Dann Woolf
Member
Demosthenes2k8":39ca1o0q said:
Stairway joke?
Now you've made me curious. Please, enlighten us on this "stairway joke."
Demosthenes2k8
Member
Alright, give me a day or two to type it up...
A physisist, a biologist, and a chemist are walking along the ocean. The physisist says, "I want to see how water affects gravity." So he walks in and doesn't emerge. The biologist says, "I want to study the marine life." So he walks in and doesn't come back out. The chemist waits a moment, then takes out a notepad and writes "Physisist and biologist both soluble in water."
iceplosion
Member
Dann Woolf":461lfgwq said:
Lawyer jokes? Ok, I'm not sure everyone will get this one...
Why don't snakes bite lawyers?
Professional courtesy.
Professional courtesy.
Bad jokes comming through!
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What's the different between a girl taking a bath, and a nun?
A nun has hope in her soul, and the girl has soap in her hole.
Why doesn't jesus like to eat M&Ms?
They keep falling through the holes in his hands.
What's one of the pros of marrying a mexican?
Unlimited supply of natural gas.
Why do dogs lick their balls?
Because they can.
Why are womens ass's and cunts so close together?
So you can pich them up like a sixpack :lol:
:thumb:
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What's the different between a girl taking a bath, and a nun?
A nun has hope in her soul, and the girl has soap in her hole.
Why doesn't jesus like to eat M&Ms?
They keep falling through the holes in his hands.
What's one of the pros of marrying a mexican?
Unlimited supply of natural gas.
Why do dogs lick their balls?
Because they can.
Why are womens ass's and cunts so close together?
So you can pich them up like a sixpack :lol:
This little 6 year old girl comes running home all distressed and howling her head off. Her mother, finally gets it out of her between the bawling, that her daughter has been raped. The mother settles the little girl down, enough to get her to the police station, to report this horrible act.
At the police station, the sergent interviewing the little girl, asks as nicely as he can: "Could you please tell me what the nasty man did, so we can get him?"
The little girl sobs "Yeah, I'll try sniff, sniff"
Policeman: "Righto then what's happened?"
Girl: "sob Well I was walking down the street to get mummy some milk. sniff sob When the big nasty man jumped out and grabbed me bawl"
Policeman: "Yes please go on ..."
Girl: "Then sob sob he lifted up my dress howl"
Policeman: "then? ..."
Girl: "He pulled down my pants ... absolutely bawling now ..... no I can't go on ...."
The sergent then stands up from behind the desk wanking himself for dear life and says "WELL FUCKING MAKE SOMETHING UP!"
At the police station, the sergent interviewing the little girl, asks as nicely as he can: "Could you please tell me what the nasty man did, so we can get him?"
The little girl sobs "Yeah, I'll try sniff, sniff"
Policeman: "Righto then what's happened?"
Girl: "sob Well I was walking down the street to get mummy some milk. sniff sob When the big nasty man jumped out and grabbed me bawl"
Policeman: "Yes please go on ..."
Girl: "Then sob sob he lifted up my dress howl"
Policeman: "then? ..."
Girl: "He pulled down my pants ... absolutely bawling now ..... no I can't go on ...."
The sergent then stands up from behind the desk wanking himself for dear life and says "WELL FUCKING MAKE SOMETHING UP!"
:thumb:
Dann Woolf
Member
bluehazed":2xd5oq9p said:
I've never played TF2 and even I got the joke.
Yggdrassil
Member
Commander Wyatt":14kmhker said:
This just won the thread.
High Hopes
Awesome Bro
One of my favorite jokes of all time:
A Serpent Guard, a Horus Guard, and a Setesh Guard meet on a neutral planet. It is a tense moment. The Serpent Guard's eyes glow. The Horus Guard's beak glistens. The Setesh Guard's nose...drips.
A Serpent Guard, a Horus Guard, and a Setesh Guard meet on a neutral planet. It is a tense moment. The Serpent Guard's eyes glow. The Horus Guard's beak glistens. The Setesh Guard's nose...drips.