Joke Thread

[Shadowstory3]

ok this is a really working joke that can work on a caluculater.
Betty boop had 69 boobs witch was 222 many, so she went to 51st street to see docter X and he 8 them witch left her 53378008!


Ok, but all the bolded stuff into the calculater so it should be like 6922251 x 8 = 53378008

53378008 upside down on the caculater is boobless!

 

[moog]

ok this is a really working joke that can work on a caluculater.
Betty boop had 69 boobs witch was 222 many, so she went to 51st street to see docter X and he 8 them witch left her 53378008!


Ok, but all the bolded stuff into the calculater so it should be like 6922251 x 8 = 53378008

53378008 upside down on the caculater is boobless!

Please lock this thread

 

[Shadowstory3]

why?

 

[Hevendor]

A man goes into the doctor's office. After hearing what was wrong with him, the doctor promptly walks behind the man and stabs him in the back. What happened?

Spoiler: Answer

The medic was a spy.

 

[Nachos]

Please, don't kill me.

Spoiler: joke

A new teacher was about to introduce himself. He says:
-Good morning, my name is Long.
-Don't worry, we have time.

Spoiler: joke

-Do you speak English?
-¿Cómo dice usted?(What?)
-Do you speak English?
-¡No lo entiendo!(I don't understand you!)
-Le pregunto que si habla usted Inglés.(I'm asking you If you can speak English!)
-¡Ah sí, perfectamente!(yeah, perfectly!)

Spoiler: joke

Honey! I have a Bad and a Good news!
I left drugs!...but I don't know where...

Spoiler: joke

Dance with rythm!
And rythm danced all night long!

Such bad jokes...

 

[Mortimer Cool]

A socialist, a capitalist and a communist agreed to meet. The socialist was late. 'Excuse me for being late, I was standing in a queue for sausages.'

'And what is a queue?' the capitalist asked.

'And what is a sausage?' the communist asked.

 

[Samboy]

Spoiler: How do you turn on an orange?

You rub it's citrus.

 

[moog]

Please, don't kill me.

Spoiler: joke

A new teacher was about to introduce himself. He says:
-Good morning, my name is Long.
-Don't worry, we have time.

Spoiler: joke

-Do you speak English?
-¿Cómo dice usted?(What?)
-Do you speak English?
-¡No lo entiendo!(I don't understand you!)
-Le pregunto que si habla usted Inglés.(I'm asking you If you can speak English!)
-¡Ah sí, perfectamente!(yeah, perfectly!)

Spoiler: joke

Honey! I have a Bad and a Good news!
I left drugs!...but I don't know where...

Spoiler: joke

Dance with rythm!
And rythm danced all night long!

Such bad jokes...

lol

hilarious

 

[Evil the Cat]

Spoiler

John was working in France for ten months. Last time he had sex was before going to France, and he was going mad.
His friends told him about a prostitute called Brigitte. She charged $1000 for a blowjob. It was expensive, but John was desperate, so he went to her mansion.
It was a beautiful place, and the furniture looked expensive. She took him to a bedroom.
After they were done, John said "Wow, Brigitte! When they told me you charge $1000 for a blowjob, I tought it was too much! But I assure you, it's worth much more than that."
She said "Well, that's why I have this mansion"

Three months later, John went to Brigitte's mansion, and asked her how much she would charge for anal sex. It was $3000. He paid, and the went to the bedroom.
Some time later, when they were done, he said:
"Wow. It's not worth three thousand dollars, but three million! I've never felt so good! Your ass is really worth a lot!"
"Because of this ass, I have a shopping mall!"
"Brigitte, I NEED to fuck you! I need your pussy!"
"If I had one, I'd be the owner of France!"

Spoiler

Doctor: I have good news, and bad news. We'll have to amputate your legs, sadly.
Patient: Oh no! What about the good news?
Doctor: We found someone to buy your shoes!

Spoiler

Doctor: I've got bad news. You have ten....
Patient: Ten months? I've gotta make the most of them!
Doctor: Quiet. Nine, eight, seven....

 

[Nachos]

What's a neuron doing in a woman's brain?

Spoiler: Joke

Tourism!

 

[miss matcha]

Why did the snail paint a giant "S" on his car?

Spoiler

So that everyone would say "hey, look at that S-car GO!"

miss matcha = super awesome

 

[Necrile]

Spoiler: Lame Joke Incoming!

So a baby seal walks into a club..

 

[Despain]

Spoiler: Lame Joke Incoming!

So a baby seal walks into a club..

you forgot the punchl

oh

 

[Dann Woolf]

-removed-

Sorry, slick, but that shit was way too long. Couldn't fit it in a spoiler, and it required you to double post to finish the damned thing.
Luminier

 

[Grathea]

Dan, it's a good joke, one I've heard before, but I'd recommend you put that in spoiler tags, mate.

 

[Ellie]

It took me ages to get that joke - I guess in America it's pronounced "levver" (like never) rather than "leever" how we pronounce it here...

 

[Dann Woolf]

Dan, it's a good joke, one I've heard before, but I'd recommend you put that in spoiler tags, mate.

Good?

Good?!

That's all you have to say about that fucking masterpiece? That it's merely GOOD?!

You just won the Understatement of the Century award.

 

[Demosthenes2k8]

Considering it doesn't exist anymore, it's only "good" based on other people's reactions.

 

[Dann Woolf]

Considering it doesn't exist anymore, it's only "good" based on other people's reactions.

I guess it was too much for you guys to handle, h-uh?

 

[Nachos]

The spoiler couldn't handle it.

Spoiler: Lame

Doctor! I have a serious problem, I can never remember what i just said.
When did you first notice this problem?
What problem?

Spoiler: Ummm..SOMETHING

Yo mamma is so fat:
She eats Wheat Thicks.
We're in her right now.
She was floating in the ocean and Spain claimed her for a new world.
She lay on the beach and people ran around saying, "FREE WILLY."

What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?
A vampire only sucks blood at night.