FAIL.
- Thread starter Venetia
- Start date
here's a fail.
Okay, so I'm sure none of you laddies has ever waxed yourself, but when you hear about how painful it is, believe it.
Anyway, I used to get my waxing done in a boutique, but I decided that paying $80 a visit was ridiculous for a lady to pour molten bee spooge all over my naughty bits and rip it off with a piece of muslin. So I went to a beauty shop and bought a professional waxing set, after thoroughly researching it on the interwebs.
http://www.beautysupply4less.com/images ... rmer_l.jpg[/img]http://nbystore.com/Store/image.php?productid=2[/img]
Curiously, no one ever talked about waxing themselves. I figured, "hmm! I guess that means I'm the only smart one lol!"
So I get home and lay all my stuff out, then realize I forgot to buy the Wax Remover. But I was like, "dish soap takes off everything, so why not just use that? plus i won't spill much lol !"
http://www.bebeautiful.com/images/produ ... 302070.jpg[/img]
I decide to go with something simple and waxed my forearms. Yes, chicks wax their arms, I am a german and we are hairy people and my arm hair is dark so I wax it. (I was thinking about waxing my downtown parlor ... THANK JEBUS I RECONSIDERED)
Anyway, it's tormentously painful, but no big whoop. Then I realize I missed a spot on my inner wrist, next to an area I'd already done. I had read time and again how you shouldn't EVER wax the same spot twice, but I was like, "whatever LOL what'll it do, it's just mah skins lol, if it wurks the first time it will work again LOL".
So RIP!
Suddenly a bright burst of pain flourished before my eyes and the lights got too bright and everything went topsy turvy and I nearly passed out and vomited simultaneously from pain. I looked down, and saw that I had ripped some skin off, and the whole area started to blossom with a beautiful violet and blue bruise before my dazed eyes.
Panicking, I grabbed my arms. My arms still had wax residue on them. Have you ever used wax, the kind that's made from honey, that pulls out hair? Stickiest fucking shit on the planet. It's like fucking epoxy. Anyway, I got the wax all over my hands. Didn't realize it, and touched my bruise. Got wax on it. It stung, so I panicked more.
Ran to the dish soap, and slathered my arms and wrist in it. Washed it off. Wax was still there.
Re-applied the soap. Grabbed a sponge. Tried wiping it off. No avail.
Used the coarse side of the sponge, and really went to town, scrubbing my already raw, bruised skin. Washed it off. No luck. Wax was still there, and sticky as ever.
Looked on the internet (gingerly not touching the keys with my sticky fingers), people said to freeze it off.
Took my bruised, raw, aching arms and hands, put them in the freezer for several minutes, until my fingers were numb. Tried to scratch off the wax. No luck. Now it was hard, cold, and yet, still sticky.
Someone online said to take a hot shower, and the wax'd melt off. I took the hottest fucking shower my body could handle. My arms were bright, bright red, like apples. That didn't work either.
Tried hand soap. Body wash. Scrubbed with a loofah. Scrubbed with a towel. Tried using face powder, to make it unsticky, then tried to "roll" it off.
NOTHING WORKED.
Finally, my arms absolutely on fucking FIRE, I decided to use Goof-Off.
http://img.epinions.com/images/opti/5f/ ... zed200.jpg[/img]
Don't know what it is? It's a household remover that removes ANYTHING. It smells like pure gasoline and is made of Xylene, which causes dizziness, headaches, nausea, eye watering, and sometimes, death. The warning label is huge. It especially says not to allow it to come in contact with skin.
Anyway, I was exhausted at this point. Four straight hours of trying to remove this sticky, sticky wax. I said to myself, "I've hit rock bottom. It's only up from here."
So I pour the Goof-Off straight onto my arms. It works!! The wax starts to come off, with some scrubbing!
Then my skin starts to burn and break out in a rash!
So I wash it off, and it still burns! Joy! But not for too long, so I'm okay, right?
SO I keep using it, because it's the only shit that works. Eventually, after many, many passes, most of the shit is gone. I start getting dizzy and nauseated, so I decide to take one last (cold) shower and pass out.
Next morning I get up, look down, and notice I missed a spot of wax on the back of my forearm. It lingers with me all day at work, and then after work, I go to the beauty shop and buy the Wax Remover. I get home, pour it on, and fully expect for it to not work, and then ...
Fucking wax comes right off, without even scrubbing >_>
So I spent my time in Las Vegas with horrendously bruised-up arms for nothing 9_9 ... but atleast they were smooth?
Moral of the story:
DON'T WAX WITHOUT THE REMOVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(fail)
Anyway, I used to get my waxing done in a boutique, but I decided that paying $80 a visit was ridiculous for a lady to pour molten bee spooge all over my naughty bits and rip it off with a piece of muslin. So I went to a beauty shop and bought a professional waxing set, after thoroughly researching it on the interwebs.
http://www.beautysupply4less.com/images ... rmer_l.jpg[/img]http://nbystore.com/Store/image.php?productid=2[/img]
Curiously, no one ever talked about waxing themselves. I figured, "hmm! I guess that means I'm the only smart one lol!"
So I get home and lay all my stuff out, then realize I forgot to buy the Wax Remover. But I was like, "dish soap takes off everything, so why not just use that? plus i won't spill much lol !"
http://www.bebeautiful.com/images/produ ... 302070.jpg[/img]
I decide to go with something simple and waxed my forearms. Yes, chicks wax their arms, I am a german and we are hairy people and my arm hair is dark so I wax it. (I was thinking about waxing my downtown parlor ... THANK JEBUS I RECONSIDERED)
Anyway, it's tormentously painful, but no big whoop. Then I realize I missed a spot on my inner wrist, next to an area I'd already done. I had read time and again how you shouldn't EVER wax the same spot twice, but I was like, "whatever LOL what'll it do, it's just mah skins lol, if it wurks the first time it will work again LOL".
So RIP!
Suddenly a bright burst of pain flourished before my eyes and the lights got too bright and everything went topsy turvy and I nearly passed out and vomited simultaneously from pain. I looked down, and saw that I had ripped some skin off, and the whole area started to blossom with a beautiful violet and blue bruise before my dazed eyes.
Panicking, I grabbed my arms. My arms still had wax residue on them. Have you ever used wax, the kind that's made from honey, that pulls out hair? Stickiest fucking shit on the planet. It's like fucking epoxy. Anyway, I got the wax all over my hands. Didn't realize it, and touched my bruise. Got wax on it. It stung, so I panicked more.
Ran to the dish soap, and slathered my arms and wrist in it. Washed it off. Wax was still there.
Re-applied the soap. Grabbed a sponge. Tried wiping it off. No avail.
Used the coarse side of the sponge, and really went to town, scrubbing my already raw, bruised skin. Washed it off. No luck. Wax was still there, and sticky as ever.
Looked on the internet (gingerly not touching the keys with my sticky fingers), people said to freeze it off.
Took my bruised, raw, aching arms and hands, put them in the freezer for several minutes, until my fingers were numb. Tried to scratch off the wax. No luck. Now it was hard, cold, and yet, still sticky.
Someone online said to take a hot shower, and the wax'd melt off. I took the hottest fucking shower my body could handle. My arms were bright, bright red, like apples. That didn't work either.
Tried hand soap. Body wash. Scrubbed with a loofah. Scrubbed with a towel. Tried using face powder, to make it unsticky, then tried to "roll" it off.
NOTHING WORKED.
Finally, my arms absolutely on fucking FIRE, I decided to use Goof-Off.
http://img.epinions.com/images/opti/5f/ ... zed200.jpg[/img]
Don't know what it is? It's a household remover that removes ANYTHING. It smells like pure gasoline and is made of Xylene, which causes dizziness, headaches, nausea, eye watering, and sometimes, death. The warning label is huge. It especially says not to allow it to come in contact with skin.
Anyway, I was exhausted at this point. Four straight hours of trying to remove this sticky, sticky wax. I said to myself, "I've hit rock bottom. It's only up from here."
So I pour the Goof-Off straight onto my arms. It works!! The wax starts to come off, with some scrubbing!
Then my skin starts to burn and break out in a rash!
So I wash it off, and it still burns! Joy! But not for too long, so I'm okay, right?
SO I keep using it, because it's the only shit that works. Eventually, after many, many passes, most of the shit is gone. I start getting dizzy and nauseated, so I decide to take one last (cold) shower and pass out.
Next morning I get up, look down, and notice I missed a spot of wax on the back of my forearm. It lingers with me all day at work, and then after work, I go to the beauty shop and buy the Wax Remover. I get home, pour it on, and fully expect for it to not work, and then ...
Fucking wax comes right off, without even scrubbing >_>
So I spent my time in Las Vegas with horrendously bruised-up arms for nothing 9_9 ... but atleast they were smooth?
Moral of the story:
DON'T WAX WITHOUT THE REMOVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(fail)
Gruuberhans
Member
@Venetia-I'm so glad I'm male... phew
iceplosion
Member
Actually I did have to get my chest waxed before.
I lost a bet.
It ****ing hurt.
I lost a bet.
It ****ing hurt.
iceplosion
Member
Yep, knew it was happening, sorry man.
Ask someone else out, preferably someone slutty, it'll make you feel much better.
Ask someone else out, preferably someone slutty, it'll make you feel much better.
iceplosion":yqj2d0gu said:
But I don't want sex...
Edit: I forgot to say, the reason she dumped me was because I screwed her best friend, and after she started to bring it up a lot, I got really pissed, and she's like whatever we are through.
It doesn't hurt at first, only on the ride home, when you really think about it.
iceplosion
Member
shiroun":175ktxeq said:
I kind of want to put this in my sig.
And when you say screwed do you mean had sex with? (In which case you deserved to get dumped) or do you mean it in some other way?
hee hee.
so the melodraman's really grown up now.
somehow, though, I don't really believe that the person who was so incredibly devoted and melodramatic some weeks back was cheating on the person he coveted. U tellin lies boy
u bringin up "i got laid" fails in the thred boy
because I hear that makes certain shining gods in ivory towers mad
so the melodraman's really grown up now.
somehow, though, I don't really believe that the person who was so incredibly devoted and melodramatic some weeks back was cheating on the person he coveted. U tellin lies boy
u bringin up "i got laid" fails in the thred boy
because I hear that makes certain shining gods in ivory towers mad
my assumption was that if you sleep around with people behind your immortal beloved's back, the relationship is over right there and then.
it's wonderful that you found someone understanding enough to let you hang around for a while afterward. wish I could find someone like that :0
"hey Miek, um, I gotta talk to you. I been hearing some things."
"what kind of things, baby?"
"well... Naomi told me she slept with you last weekend."
"yep."
"and, well... my other friends are kind of interested too. would you mind if I brought them over on Saturday?"
"@_@;;"
it's wonderful that you found someone understanding enough to let you hang around for a while afterward. wish I could find someone like that :0
"hey Miek, um, I gotta talk to you. I been hearing some things."
"what kind of things, baby?"
"well... Naomi told me she slept with you last weekend."
"yep."
"and, well... my other friends are kind of interested too. would you mind if I brought them over on Saturday?"
"@_@;;"