arbiter
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Bisexual Debate, to celebrate Bisexuality Day
- Thread starter sixtyandaquarter
- Start date
arbiter
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My point is if you can't figure out who you are or what you want then you shouldn't be getting into relationships, thus there's no need for everyone to go "well, labels are evil because they're limiting so just go nuts." All of the older people in this thread have been consistent on one thing, and that's that it takes time to know who you are, but once you know your preferences it's easier to talk to and find people who share similar interests.
My main argument is against people who don't know what they want and are in their 20s. From 15-17 there's a lot of confusion and I understand that, but you have to grow up and leave that shit behind you once you're in the real world.
This ties the conversation back to bisexuality/pansexuality in that the majority of people who claim to be bisexuals or pansexuals only use that label because they want to appear better sexually than everybody else and that they don't really know what they want in the first place. I'm not talking about creating a big list that determines if you want to fuck purple hippopotami on the first day in June. What I'm talking about doesn't require labels, they're just a side-effect of mature people who know what they want and can verbalize that. Ven, Mr.N, missingno, I and several others have experience and know who we're into and how to talk to people (I assume.)
I don't even know how we got to this point in the conversation, I was originally just mad at people who claim to be bisexuals. :/
My main argument is against people who don't know what they want and are in their 20s. From 15-17 there's a lot of confusion and I understand that, but you have to grow up and leave that shit behind you once you're in the real world.
This ties the conversation back to bisexuality/pansexuality in that the majority of people who claim to be bisexuals or pansexuals only use that label because they want to appear better sexually than everybody else and that they don't really know what they want in the first place. I'm not talking about creating a big list that determines if you want to fuck purple hippopotami on the first day in June. What I'm talking about doesn't require labels, they're just a side-effect of mature people who know what they want and can verbalize that. Ven, Mr.N, missingno, I and several others have experience and know who we're into and how to talk to people (I assume.)
I don't even know how we got to this point in the conversation, I was originally just mad at people who claim to be bisexuals. :/
arbiter
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arbiter
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The first five minutes of this episode sums up what I'm talking about almost exactly.
http://thislife.org/Radio_Episode.aspx?episode=268
http://thislife.org/Radio_Episode.aspx?episode=268
Dissonance
Member
Venetia":a4rcs52m said:
NUH HUH
I did it with a girl when I was 14 and I still know i'd fuck her again at 22 =3
Lol, wut.
If you wouldn't fuck a member of your own gender you're not gay, bi, or pan. You're either straight or asexual.
Brb, going to /b/
See I'm relatively old and experienced (at least i feel goddamn old) and I knew who I was and what I wanted at 14. Furthermore, for a WHILE I thought it was like that with everybody. I now know that it didn't take time for me to know who i was, but it took time for me to realize that it takes other people time to know who they are :x
sixtyandaquarter
Member
i slept with a girl at 14, but i was secure in my sexuality
there is no age bracket. it's not like "oh your 20, you best start realizing who you are". It can be done early on, or later - I know people who are just now realizing they might be gay, and they are FOURTY. With KIDS.
Things change, people change, life changes. Nothing is constant, why would sexuality be any different. Some people develop faster - and I don't mean like "lol i have chest hair I'm a man!" no, I mean that whole intangibleness in their heads.
You simply can't tell someone they can't based on their age understand something. There are exceptions to even the most basic of statistics.
there is no age bracket. it's not like "oh your 20, you best start realizing who you are". It can be done early on, or later - I know people who are just now realizing they might be gay, and they are FOURTY. With KIDS.
Things change, people change, life changes. Nothing is constant, why would sexuality be any different. Some people develop faster - and I don't mean like "lol i have chest hair I'm a man!" no, I mean that whole intangibleness in their heads.
You simply can't tell someone they can't based on their age understand something. There are exceptions to even the most basic of statistics.
My point was that when you're young, you're naive. Even if you're not terribly naive, you're still more naive than your adult self.
Ideally, kids SHOULDN'T be comfortable with their sexuality until later in life. Ideally, they'd put off that whole mess until they're older. But of course the world isn't ideal.
I know that sexuality has no age barriers, but no one can truly be comfortable in their true sexuality until they've experienced it and reflected upon it. Until then, it's all suppositions. Even when you were 14, sixty, I doubt you knew the levels of your fetishism. And if you did, then that would place you in the extreme minority.
I also know that some people don't understand their sexuality until much later in life. But often these lapses in self-understanding are influenced by societal constructs (such as "moral guilt" at tempation). And revelations about themselves can only be brought about through experience and reflection, which obviously they hadn't truly tried yet.
Ideally, kids SHOULDN'T be comfortable with their sexuality until later in life. Ideally, they'd put off that whole mess until they're older. But of course the world isn't ideal.
I know that sexuality has no age barriers, but no one can truly be comfortable in their true sexuality until they've experienced it and reflected upon it. Until then, it's all suppositions. Even when you were 14, sixty, I doubt you knew the levels of your fetishism. And if you did, then that would place you in the extreme minority.
I also know that some people don't understand their sexuality until much later in life. But often these lapses in self-understanding are influenced by societal constructs (such as "moral guilt" at tempation). And revelations about themselves can only be brought about through experience and reflection, which obviously they hadn't truly tried yet.
sixtyandaquarter
Member
Actually I lost it a few years before being 14.Dewoor":2y10dzv7 said:
You and me differ greatly here, I personally find the world to be ideally suited for this, and that there is nothing wrong with getting to terms quickly. If we removed all the confusion, and the "ewwl gross" from the damned table, if we got rid of the "should be's" and "should want to be's" people shove at kids, the whole confusion stage - yeah, it'll always be there, yeah it'll always be a huge stick to get by, but it certainly doesn't mean it has to take years and years, a near decade.Venetia":2y10dzv7 said:
I can decide early on, or I can trust feelings. It can be a very quick process, and has been for hundreds.
Being naive is no excuse. Become comfortable, find out. Get off your ass and see what works. Being naive breeds confusion and problems.
But can have, can learn, and that it doesn't actually have to entail all of that. Doesn't have to at all.
Remove the social constructs, the whole taboo and people screaming how you should be this, and worse want to be this, and you'll be amazed how clean this whole process becomes. Humanity is the worse thing to happen to sexuality.
sixtyandaquarter
Member
What's your excuse Wyatt >:|
I have no excuse 
I actually got asked several times (I don't mean that in a "look how cool I am" way), but I was always too shy somehow, or started shaking, or threw up, or a combination of those...
Hmm.
If I'd been in with the group of people who actually knew about sex, knew all the details, and actually had friends then maybe it would have been different.
I actually got asked several times (I don't mean that in a "look how cool I am" way), but I was always too shy somehow, or started shaking, or threw up, or a combination of those...
Hmm.
If I'd been in with the group of people who actually knew about sex, knew all the details, and actually had friends then maybe it would have been different.
sixtyandaquarter
Member
... you threw up?
Okay I'm done with this joke, have fun ladies and gentlemen, ganite.
Okay I'm done with this joke, have fun ladies and gentlemen, ganite.
Anyway. Getting on topic, or at least on the derailed topic before the second derailment, i.e. "at what age is someone mature enough to know their sexual orientation, likes, dislikes, etc",
Let's take me at age 25, imagine I'm still a virgin (not hard).
Let's take sixty at 16, lost his virginity a while ago.
Based on the age=maturity idea, I should know what my fetishes are, how I like my sex, what my sexual orientation is.
Sixty on the other hand somehow shouldn't as he's still a kid.
What really matters is sexual experience. The only way you could know if you liked... being a petboy to a dominatrix nazi-uniformed transexual woman wearing cat ears and thick makeup, is if you had actually previously been in such a scenario. That's the only way to know your likes and dislikes. That's the only way to know if you're bisexual, heterosexual, dominatronazitrancatearmakosexual.
Let's take me at age 25, imagine I'm still a virgin (not hard).
Let's take sixty at 16, lost his virginity a while ago.
Based on the age=maturity idea, I should know what my fetishes are, how I like my sex, what my sexual orientation is.
Sixty on the other hand somehow shouldn't as he's still a kid.
What really matters is sexual experience. The only way you could know if you liked... being a petboy to a dominatrix nazi-uniformed transexual woman wearing cat ears and thick makeup, is if you had actually previously been in such a scenario. That's the only way to know your likes and dislikes. That's the only way to know if you're bisexual, heterosexual, dominatronazitrancatearmakosexual.