Alexander Morou
Sponsor
Here's my ... lack of first experiences.
I have no experience with girls. I've found some interesting, but it quickly fades, largely due to incessant talking (about vapid nonsense), or the discovery the woman is quite insane; I'm also a prude.
I don't drink, I don't smoke, I don't do drugs. I have never done any of them, and I never will.
The first time I was pulled over, the officer was nervous, because I wasn't aware of placing my hands on my steering wheel. He said that my tag light was out.
I've never been in a car wreck where I was the driver; I've never had a ticket.
The first time I saw a woman naked, I was scarred for life, since I found the person quite unattractive (being an evil step mother, she was changing and has a habit of forgetting that the door slides closed, and doesn't lock very well, so her animals can push through it, opening it).
I've never kissed a girl, had a 'first experience' of any [good] kind with the opposite gender for that matter (ergo 'zero experience with girls').
I'm not sure how these go in line with 'first experiences', but each is different, and unique in its own way, and I'm certain the conditions will be unlikely to repeat again. The complexity of each makes it difficult to classify them under terms that would satisfy the simplicity of the original question.
I've had awkward experiences with girls, they're not worth mentioning, but I guess I'll do so anyway: I have a step sister, when she was twelve (I was 21), she inquired about my preferences on a certain symbol (happy face, I think). Based upon the way she was acting, her tone, the way her hands were behind her waist, the way her hips were swaying (rocking back and forth, adjusting her weight foot to foot, slowly), I figured out what she was implying: she wanted to show me something. Considering the obvious age difference, I warned her that I wasn't interested in seeing her undergarments. Being more persistent than she, I won that round, and ensure that future similar situations don't occur. I see her as a sister, nothing more.
Further back still, my father had a live-in girlfriend, who had two daughters and a son. The daughters were horrible monsters (mean, cruel, and vicious), they were quite a bit younger than I was. The unfortunate truth is I would at times be forced to watch them, and since I had no prior experience watching children, things could escalate quickly. The youngest girl, 9 years old, was misbehaving, and I made the mistake of trying to make her behave by placing her in a corner, she wouldn't have it, so I tried to guard her from moving (no physical restraint, more blocking her path). When the 'live in girlfriend' had my father pay for her children's Christmas (bought them all new computers, and other things, the woman would work, but just stored her money), she moved out, I happened to be home sick during that day. Which was good because she would've cleaned out more than her share otherwise. She called a police officer to ensure that things would go smoothly, and warned me to stay away saying I was lucky that she didn't press charges for what I did to her youngest daughter (which was... nothing?) The good news is that's the last I heard of the vile woman.
Further back, my father was dating a woman who I call a demon. She had a temper that would scare Zeus into a defensive sobbing fetal position. She would throw things, yell, and generally fly off her rocker at the drop of a hat. I called her 'ma'am' once, responding to something she said (something like 'Yes ma'am'), she shot up off the couch she was sitting on, lifted me in the air and slammed me into the ground, placing her full weight onto me, threatening me, saying to never call her that again. I don't remember what she said after that, I just got lost after the 'never call me that again'. That much got through loud and clear.
My first program was crap. I learned what I know about programming, to this day, from independent study.
I have no experience with girls. I've found some interesting, but it quickly fades, largely due to incessant talking (about vapid nonsense), or the discovery the woman is quite insane; I'm also a prude.
I don't drink, I don't smoke, I don't do drugs. I have never done any of them, and I never will.
The first time I was pulled over, the officer was nervous, because I wasn't aware of placing my hands on my steering wheel. He said that my tag light was out.
I've never been in a car wreck where I was the driver; I've never had a ticket.
The first time I saw a woman naked, I was scarred for life, since I found the person quite unattractive (being an evil step mother, she was changing and has a habit of forgetting that the door slides closed, and doesn't lock very well, so her animals can push through it, opening it).
I've never kissed a girl, had a 'first experience' of any [good] kind with the opposite gender for that matter (ergo 'zero experience with girls').
I'm not sure how these go in line with 'first experiences', but each is different, and unique in its own way, and I'm certain the conditions will be unlikely to repeat again. The complexity of each makes it difficult to classify them under terms that would satisfy the simplicity of the original question.
I've had awkward experiences with girls, they're not worth mentioning, but I guess I'll do so anyway: I have a step sister, when she was twelve (I was 21), she inquired about my preferences on a certain symbol (happy face, I think). Based upon the way she was acting, her tone, the way her hands were behind her waist, the way her hips were swaying (rocking back and forth, adjusting her weight foot to foot, slowly), I figured out what she was implying: she wanted to show me something. Considering the obvious age difference, I warned her that I wasn't interested in seeing her undergarments. Being more persistent than she, I won that round, and ensure that future similar situations don't occur. I see her as a sister, nothing more.
Further back still, my father had a live-in girlfriend, who had two daughters and a son. The daughters were horrible monsters (mean, cruel, and vicious), they were quite a bit younger than I was. The unfortunate truth is I would at times be forced to watch them, and since I had no prior experience watching children, things could escalate quickly. The youngest girl, 9 years old, was misbehaving, and I made the mistake of trying to make her behave by placing her in a corner, she wouldn't have it, so I tried to guard her from moving (no physical restraint, more blocking her path). When the 'live in girlfriend' had my father pay for her children's Christmas (bought them all new computers, and other things, the woman would work, but just stored her money), she moved out, I happened to be home sick during that day. Which was good because she would've cleaned out more than her share otherwise. She called a police officer to ensure that things would go smoothly, and warned me to stay away saying I was lucky that she didn't press charges for what I did to her youngest daughter (which was... nothing?) The good news is that's the last I heard of the vile woman.
Further back, my father was dating a woman who I call a demon. She had a temper that would scare Zeus into a defensive sobbing fetal position. She would throw things, yell, and generally fly off her rocker at the drop of a hat. I called her 'ma'am' once, responding to something she said (something like 'Yes ma'am'), she shot up off the couch she was sitting on, lifted me in the air and slammed me into the ground, placing her full weight onto me, threatening me, saying to never call her that again. I don't remember what she said after that, I just got lost after the 'never call me that again'. That much got through loud and clear.
My first program was crap. I learned what I know about programming, to this day, from independent study.
