Your first time ...

[Calibre]

Ironically enough stillzero, it bothered you so little that you didn't need to return to the gimpy little internet forum fool of losers to make a big hoo-hah about it.

 

[moog]

He's gone again lets not make a big episode out of it guys.

 

[Dissonance]

I'm posting again because I'm actually kind of turned on by all the sexual exploits!!!!! actually just venetia's and sixty's :3

I already talked about first time with a guy (which was just SEX IN THE MISSIONARY POSITION FOR THE PURPOSES OF PROCREATION), first time with a girl (which included really good cunt lickan but shitty trib and mario kart!!!), and first and only time with a tranny (which was probably the best cowgirl and doggy i've ever had)

uh what's left

Oh my first and only time giving head, I sucked at it.  I was really, really fuckin horrible at it and the guy started turning into a HUGE JERK ABOUT IT i mean okay I know i'm bad stop being a faggot about it it's my first time doing this why are you so mean.  So I inflated his foreskin like a balloon and said ENJOY YOUR BLOWJOB :x  then i left.  I think it really hurt him somehow.  wow i was vindictive (and still kind of am)

I've yet to have a threesome but IF I WERE TO i wouldn't want to have a guy involved.  They cum once and they're out of the game for a while but girls can keep on rollin.

 

[Venetia]

Yeah the first BJ I ever gave, it was really cold and we were outside. The guy couldn't keep it fully hard (i guess because it was so freezing and we were teens so i guess he was nervous) so it was really awkward trying to get a "motion" going. Then I accidentally brushed my incisor-teeth across the top and needless to say the chubs were just 100% deflated after that. the guy was cool with it though. he was all, "it's ok. we both need practice >". I was still kinda embarrassed though!

 

[e]

First one I received was bad. It hurt a little on the foreskin and she wouldn't take it in; just suckle on the tip

 

[Dissonance]

First one I received was bad. It hurt a little on the foreskin and she wouldn't take it in; just suckle on the tip

how does suckling on the tip hurt your foreskin

 

[FlippyD]

Girls, you'll always suck the first time, just like guys suck at dental dam. But, to help you should practice a lot on bananas and such at home. Make sure to send your videos (or pictures with audio) to my address, for constructive criticism.

We guys practice alone, after all. Lord knows we don't go to the Subway to lose weight like that tool Jared.

 

[Dawne]

I gave my first blow job when I was 12 and didn't know you were supposed to keep going 'till they came..

I don't think he really cared though

 

[Despain]

I gave my first blow job when I was 12

emot_fap.gif

 

[e]

First one I received was bad. It hurt a little on the foreskin and she wouldn't take it in; just suckle on the tip

how does suckling on the tip hurt your foreskin

Her teeth. She did try to do the motion, but kept strictly to the head (and barely all of it). So there was this unpleasant pinch from time to time on the foreskin.

 

[Dissonance]

First one I received was bad. It hurt a little on the foreskin and she wouldn't take it in; just suckle on the tip

how does suckling on the tip hurt your foreskin

Her teeth. She did try to do the motion, but kept strictly to the head (and barely all of it). So there was this unpleasant pinch from time to time on the foreskin.

Hey sometimes you just CAN'T FIT IT

I knew when I gave a BJ I barely went past the head girls just don't INSTANTLY DEEPTHROAT SHIT.

 

[moog]

@_@

 

[Seafoam]

I thought there was already a thread for virginity/blow jobs and shit  :crazy:

 

[FlippyD]

I thought there was already a thread for virginity/blow jobs and shit  :crazy:

You can never have too many fake stories about blow jobs and awkward teen sex.

 

[Dissonance]

I thought there was already a thread for virginity/blow jobs and shit  :crazy:

You can never have too many fake stories about blow jobs and awkward teen sex.

They're only fake to you 'cuz you've never gotten a piece of the pie.

 

[FlippyD]

They're only fake to you 'cuz you've never gotten a piece of the pie.

If by "pie" you mean awkward homosexual leanings with your dumpy cousin behind the local 7-11 sometimes in the mid-90s buried away in your sub-conscious which you lie about on the internet then no. No I haven't had a piece of the pie. But please, share your pie with the rest of the class.

But seriously, since I've had a piece of the proverbial pie I have a jaded opinion of some of these stories.

 

[mawk]

cut it out. if this thread turns into an e-penis war I am going to lock it.

 

[Dissonance]

They're only fake to you 'cuz you've never gotten a piece of the pie.

If by "pie" you mean awkward homosexual leanings with your dumpy cousin behind the local 7-11 sometimes in the mid-90s buried away in your sub-conscious which you lie about on the internet then no. No I haven't had a piece of the pie. But please, share your pie with the rest of the class.

But seriously, since I've had a piece of the proverbial pie I have a jaded opinion of some of these stories.

Just cause your first time wasn't magical doesn't mean everybody else is so unfortunate ;_;

admittedly i know now that most people's first times really ARE uneventful and occasionally horrible I was just lucky to get a good one i think :3

 

[Fayte]

my very first time was rather enjoyable :D

but my first time with a black girl... :down:

 

[moog]

the first time I climbed a tree was pretty fucking stupid and ironic cause the only reason i did it was to escape my father. my sis and I were in the  car arguing over some trivial shit (i think it was about what pokemon squirtle evolved into? idk) and my dad told us to stop but we wouldnt, so he yelled "SHUT THE FUCK UP" or something of that matter and we both stopped arguing, only I was a tad upset and startled because he had never done this before, so I yelled NO YOU SHUT THE FUCK UP (i had no i dea what i tmeant, i just thought it was natural for people to say this sort of thing to each other). He slows down and turns off the car, and at this point he starts to ramble about something incoherent (idk some random cursing in german or whatnot) and then gives me the stare of death. At this point I hop out of the car and start pacing for my life. I see a tall oak tree (i assume it was an oak tree) and start to climb it only to see my fat ass father behind me with a look of terror in his eyes, grabbing at my pants and ripping me to the grass, right before beating the shit out of me with his belt. And the kicker was it was real close to a near by community park so the joke was on him lol

I used to get beat alot when I was a kid, but thats what happens when you grow up on the black side of your family. My dad's family is really sweet and caring where as my mom's is fucking ghetto.

god damn black people ;~;