That'd odd... somehow my thread went to Project Discussion instead of Completed Games. I don't mind either way, although I think it might belong in the other section because there's a pretty lengthy demo (3-4 hours).
The project sections are getting a makeover. You can see it in the early projects already. Completed games is going to change into actually completed games, rather than just any game with a demo. This is to encourage feedback on games with demos, where people might otherwise think that, being in the completed games section, the creator has finished with the project isn't open to feedback. This isn't the only topic that was moved for the change, and it won't be the last.
That said, I'm also ready to help out that shift on my own. I downloaded and playing it through. I take notes as I play the game, so I'm just pasting them right over here. It follows the game in order, from the beginning to where got bored and stopped.
Title screen is pretty weak. The hand-drawn images poorly cropped on a generic texture background with a plain Papyrus title and the default windowskin. I like the music, though!
RTP ( I'm going to try and ignore the RTP use from here on, since it's not fair to criticize a game for its choice of graphics) house with kids and their parents explaining things for the convenience of the player (explaining "gleem" etc). Slow-scrolling text that I cannot speed up.
Mom and Dad die, and the twins (who use the same exact sprite) exchange a predictable little diagloue ("i miss them", "big sis will take care of us", etc).
Woah, hello inconsistent graphics! The next scene treats us to some little cat characters. I was expecting these guys, but I was expecing sharksweetheart's smooth edits. I'm going to assume that it's an old demo, though, and let them slide.
The main character's faceset is... not very attractive. Especially the way in which the hair sortof just sits there.
Lead Scripter: ______ That was actually cute.
Hey, here we have an actual logo of sorts. Why wasn't this used on the title screen instead of the plain Papyrus text?
Things kick off with a random frog telling me to save my game using the enter button (the most blatant chrono-trigger save menu I have ever seen pops up; it uses the CT system graphic despite every other message window in the game using the RTP blue), and explains that I can walk using the arrow keys. I understand -- the game isn't just for people who are used to rpg maker games -- but that level of instruction seems a little over the top.
The hero's sprite seems tall and thin to the point where it doesn't look like it fits nicely with the RTP graphics that I'm used to.
The forest area has some serious passability issues. I can walk on cactuses and stuff (ignoring why cactus tiles are being used in a forest in the first place) and some bushes. I cal also go right up to the edge of maps (without teleporting), which is usually poor map design. I will admit that it's pretty (it doesn't make use of obnoxious overlays like most games do, and the music is really soothing).
I've never understood why people put wild rabbits and stuff in their game walking around like NPCs. Consider making it scurry away when the player gets too close. Right now it just seems awkward.
The village has the most inconsistent graphics I've ever seen. But I actually did read the topic's first post, so no points taken off. You're aware of the problem (and it's a big one). This isn't just in the treetop homes, though. When you do get around to reworking the graphics, don't forget the pink trees (since when where we in Japan anyway?) and the vibrant purple footprints.
Some NPCs have serious character -- "Panky" has a little face with a chef hat and a spoon, and the anachronistic doctor outfit is cute. At the same time, some are horrible ("Welcome back to Leeble Village!"). A good number of the NPCs also say different things when you speak to them more than once, which is actually a really nice touch that I use myself.
If I walk off a cliff, I can go into a poorly-mapped (trees usually have trunks) "forest" with acorns on the ground. I explored aorund the town a little bit, finding an ominous gravestone that I can't go beyond because it's too dangeorus, and a little clearing (again with the strange trunkless canopy) with little grapes all over the place.
I also have to note that some of the maps overuse the "mini-waterfall" effect in the rivers, and it looks strange. It implies that the water level is changing, but the area on which I'm standing seems to be flat in comparison. Either drop some of these little waterfalls or add little cliffs along the grass parts to make the elevation levels consistent.
It feels awkward to enter the individual tree-homes because of the way they are places in relation to tiles. I assume, though, that this will be fixed when the graphics change.
Hey look, it's Arshes! I know, I said I wouldn't complain about RTP graphics. Of course, as soon as he jumps up off the floor his outfit changes entirely, as well as his hair style and color...
...Aero is talking to Dominic even though I never went to see Aero yet... And now I can go off and see Yoon apparently. It makes me wonder if this was just a pretty major oversight. Don't assume that the player is going to go see Aero right away
just because you tell him to. So far I get the idea that this game was intended for little children and people not used to the genre, because it's very "do this and do it this way" straightforward. But I always explore every inch of a town and talk to every NPC before I go where I'm supposed to, and I know that I'm not the only person to do that. I have a feeling that I'd be able to go play the entire game without Aero because of this, so I better go back and grab him before continuing. Yup, Aero tells me to go wake up Dominic even though he's already in my party.
After Mr. Bogi gives me his net, his kids just disappear into thin air. Supposedly they're coming with me.
So I go to get the frog, and it's sitting right in front of me. Instead of going after the frog, like I'd expect any kid to do, he randly asks Dominic about the day he came to the village. Yes, flashbacks are always fun, but this is very poorly placed. And then of course he asks if Dominic is daydreaming, when he was the one who prompted it...
Hey, good thing the game tells me how to catch the frog. I couldn't have figure it out (these little instructional things are beginning to get annoying. It makes sense in the beginning, but at this point it's almost insulting to the player).
"I don't know how to fight!" This line threw me off, wasn't he a knight or something? At least that's what I got from the whole opening sequence with the "captain".
I don't relly get why these soldiers are attacking these two kids, but hey. And I can win against three trained knights, amed with a net, and my only fihting experience is against a bird. But it's a game, whatever.
These maps also have a forest overlay, which makes no sense to me because I don't see any trees or anything that would cast this shadow. It's a very common thing in RMXP games.
My absolute biggest pet peeve with games is
maps that go all the way to the edge. It looks very sloppy, feels unnatural to the player (it feels like I should be able to walk onto the next map, but stramgely I can't unless I just so happen to be walking on a path), and unfortunately is the single most common problem in RMXP games. Your game has some serious issues with this, and I think extending the maps and puttinng some borders or limitations around the edges would work wonders for the project.
As usual, though, the music here is really nice.
Oh man, I've been fighting giant birds, hordes of soldiers and fire-dogs, but here comes the next big challenge -- two bumblebees! Run for cover!
I laughed aloud at "STAY AWAY FROM THIS VILLAGE!" Just the way his mouth oepned and stuff. I guess it's supposed to be a very serious part, but it's comical. I fight the guys, and then four more just appear out of nowhere.
"Get that kid, he's a Gleemer!" and "You're coming with us, ya little Gleemer-kid!" I'm sorry, it's just laughable. It's not necessarily
bad, it's just very lame. The names certainly don't help. I mean "Gleem". Then again, thie game is intended for children, so I can't really get on you too hard about choices like that.
I especially love how the soldiers are supposed to be chasing you, but just stand in place shuffling their legs. It almost looks like they're stuck in that little passageway, shoulder-to-shoulder, trying to push past each other.
Love the random "earth, wind, fire, water" cave. Then another cave with a sign about the elements. I'm sure it matters eventually, but at this point I'm getting a little bored and stop playing. I might play it again at some point, I might not.
It was better than I was expecting, but it still needs a lot of work.To sum up:
The Good:
- The music is consistently amazing. You're a musician first, game designer second, and this is obvious.
- It's very cute and you know your target audience well - it would certainly appeal to children and young girls.
- It seems to have a coherent storyline that is more than "lol save the kingdom". For now at least.
The Bad:
- Inconsistent graphics, but this is nothing new.
- Poorly-made graphics. Things like the faces, for both the human characters and the leebles. The just seem very unpolished, which they probably are.
- It's possible to go out of sequence. Play test your game thoroughly, and don't expect players to follow instructions just because you tell them to.
- Too much hand-holding. "Go here", "Push this button," etc. It's fine in the beginning, but you seem to take it very far. It works to an extent with your younger target audience, though.
- Too linear. This falls in with the above one. I don't think that linear stories are bad, but linear gameplay is. And no, I'm not talking about the maps. For example, consider allowing the player to collect the acorns for Panky whenever he wants, rather than making it a mandatory thing after the pie berries, and Panky only sells his pancakes at the festival if you did it for him.
- It feels very much like an RMXP game. You don't spend much effort on making it stand out. This comes in little touches, like the window skin.
- Mapping. The maps are for the most part decent, but little issues such as passability and no borders are furstrating.
- The big one: the little details. It's the little details in a game that separate it from being substandard to being something amazing. you have some of it here, in the form of extra things that the NPCs say. But go further. This comes in the form of fluid movement (ie. your bee seems to take very slow steps as opposed to zooming), having characters walk on and off maps (the knights and the Leeble kids come to mind). Passability errors and the map-borders carries over into this category too. Your game should be much more solid in a lot of ways.
I hate to advertise in a critique, so I'm not linking, but my game Untitled was made with these touches in mind, so if you don't know exactly what I mean, take a look at it.
Overall, the game has potential, but it's very much a standard RMXP game and doesn't try to make itself stand out and be something
better than good enough, which is the standard that I hold games to (yes, I have high standards). The ame is also very much for little kid it seems, so I tried to avoid criticizing the design choices (like the Leebles are so fucking cute, with the acorn-gathering and stuff I wanted to rip my hair out) or the overall story.
That said, I haven't played much of it, but I think that I've played enough to get an idea of the game and I hope you take this to heart.
I could definitely use some help with bug testing, it's becoming quite overwhelming for me to do it myself, so I really appreciate the time you've spent to note these things! When I have my friends test the game for me, I sit there with a pen and paper and take as many notes as I can so I'll remember what I need to do when they're finished! And I'm like that too (about talking to everyone more than once), so I tried to put in a lot of dialogue for people like us, hehe. 