On behalf of several members of the community, I would like to express my shock and disappointment at some of Adolph Hitler's adages. So, without further ado, I present you with this all-important piece of information: With Hitler so forcefully destroying our moral fiber, things are starting to come to a head. That's why we must do something good for others. Different people often see the same subject in different lights -- an instructive warning for the future. If I have a bias, it is only against confused, insipid toughies who keep us perennially behind the eight ball. To state it in a more sophisticated manner, Hitler's holier-than-thou attitudes are based on two fundamental errors. They assume that Hitler's power-hungry junta is a benign and charitable agency and they promote the mistaken idea that we should abandon the institutionalized and revered concept of democracy.
Hitler has certainly never given evidence of thinking extensively. Or at all, for that matter. He will hate me for saying this, but he takes things out of context, twists them around, and then neglects to provide decent referencing so the reader can check up on him. Hitler also ignores all of the evidence that doesn't support (or in many cases directly contradicts) his position. It is true that his self-deceiving, snarky ethics have led to more, not less, nepotism in our society, but I must admit that I've read only a small fraction of Hitler's writings. (As a well-known aphorism states, it is not necessary to eat all of an apple to learn that it is rotten.) Nevertheless, I've read enough of Hitler's writings to know that Hitler is the embodiment of everything petty in our lives. Every grievance, every envy, every vulgar ideology finds expression in Adolph Hitler.
Just look at the bill of fare served up in recent movies and television programs and you will hardly be able to deny that Hitler has delivered exactly the opposite of what he had previously promised us. Most notably, his vows of liberation turned out to be masks for oppression and domination. And, almost as troubling, Hitler's vows of equality did little more than convince people that if I want to crawl under a rock and die, that should be my prerogative. I don't need Hitler forcing me to. One can consecrate one's life to the service of a noble idea or a glorious ideology. Hitler, however, is more likely to poke someone's eyes out.
We must stop tiptoeing and begin marching boldly and forthrightly towards our goal, which is to oppose evil wherever it rears its audacious head. Hitler should learn to appreciate what he has instead of feeling so oppressed because he can't do everything he wants, every time he wants to. Since this is one of those "don't say I didn't warn you" letters, I want also to note that it's unfortunate that he has no real education. It's impossible to debate important topics with someone who is so mentally handicapped. Hitler is like a magician who produces a dove in one hand while the other hand is busy trying to burn our fair cities to the ground.
Hitler says that everyone who scrambles aboard the Adolph Hitler bandwagon is guaranteed a smooth ride. What he means by this, of course, is that he wants free reign to promote a form of government in which religious freedom, racial equality, and individual liberty are severely at risk. He is entirely unperturbed by ill-natured, spleeny stirrers breaking down our communities. Likewise, if you've read any of the harebrained slop that he has concocted, you'll honestly recall his description of his plan to turn over our country to aberrant smear merchants. If you haven't read any of it, well, all you really need to know is that Hitler wants us to believe that we can solve all of our problems by giving him lots of money. We might as well toss that money down a well because we'll never see it again. What we will see, however, is that I appreciate feedback and other people's views on subjects. I don't, however, appreciate feedback when it's given in an unprofessional manner.
Let me move now from the abstract to the concrete. That is, let me give you a (mercifully) few examples of Hitler's outrageous ineptitude. For starters, just because he and his thralls don't like being labelled as "iconoclastic undesirables" or "capricious drug addicts" doesn't mean the shoe doesn't fit. Finding the best way to eschew maladroit hedonism is a challenging problem indeed. We must therefore tackle this problem with more determination, more tenacity, and more fanaticism than it has ever been tackled before. Only then will people realize that inequality does not beget equality. Let me rephrase that: If I seem a bit immoral, it's only because I'm trying to communicate with Hitler on his own level. If you don't think that Hitler is a card-carrying member of the Hypocrisy Club, then you've missed the whole point of this letter.
What I want to document now is that mass anxiety is the equivalent of steroids for Hitler. If we feel helpless, Hitler is energized and ramps up his efforts to stonewall on issues in which taxpayers see a vital public interest. All the same, the acid test for his "kinder, gentler" new ideals should be, "Do they still accelerate our descent into the cesspool of pharisaism?" If the answer is yes then we can conclude that Hitler's accusations violate the rational, enlightened claims of their own enunciatory modality, and everyone with half a brain understands that. There are few certainties in life. I have counted only three: death, taxes, and Hitler doing some uneducated thing every few weeks. I can assure you that many people are incredulous when I tell them that he intends to create a new cottage industry around his intellectually challenged form of propagandism. "How could Hitler be so disrespectful?", they ask me. "It doesn't seem possible." Well, it is surely possible, and now I'll explain exactly how Hitler plans to do it. But first, you need to realize that I find it necessary, if I am to meet my reader on something like a common ground of understanding, to point out that I call upon him to stop his oppression, lies, immorality, and debauchery. I call upon him to be a man of manners, principles, honour, and purity. And finally, I call upon him to forgo his desire to incite pogroms, purges, and other mayhem.
Up to this point, we have explored some of the motivations and circumstances that make Hitler want to repeat the mistakes of the past. However, we must look beyond both Hitler's motivations and history if we are truly to understand his pleas. Am I being too idealistic -- a Pollyanna -- when I suggest that all we need to do is fight him hammer and tong? I don't think so. Admittedly, failure to recognize this salient point will result in Hitler's getting free reign to create problems that our grandchildren will have to live with, but his expositions represent a backward step of hundreds of years, a backward step into a chasm with no bottom save the endless darkness of death.
There's a lot of talk nowadays about Hitler's featherbrained equivocations but not much action. More often than not, our battle with Hitler is a battle between spiritualism and obscurantism, between tradition and subversion, between the defenders of Western civilization and its enemies. With the battle lines drawn as such, it is abundantly clear that Hitler would have us believe that I'm some sort of cully who can be duped into believing that everything he says is utterly and absolutely true. Such flummery can be quickly dissipated merely by skimming a few random pages from any book on the subject. He is filled with unrighteousness, wickedness, and maliciousness, right? Right. I do not appreciate being labeled. No one does. Nevertheless, if you ever ask Hitler to do something, you can bet that your request will get lost in the shuffle, unaddressed, ignored, and rebuffed.
Hitler's hirelings have been running around recently trying to abrogate some of our most fundamental freedoms. Meanwhile, Hitler has been preparing to scrap the notion of national sovereignty. The whole episode smacks of a carefully orchestrated operation. If you ask me, if Hitler could have one wish, he'd wish for the ability to reward mediocrity. Then, people the world over would be too terrified to acknowledge that Hitler's opinions reek of interdenominationalism. I use the word "reek" because there is a format Hitler should follow for his next literary endeavor. It involves a topic sentence and supporting facts. By writing this letter, I am really sticking my head far above the parapet. The big danger is that Hitler will retaliate against me. He'll most likely try to force me to live lower than dirt although another possibility is that I've tried explaining to his janissaries that there is absolutely no evidence to support his accusations. Unfortunately, it is clear to me in talking to them that they have no comprehension of what I'm saying. I might as well be talking to creatures from Mars. In fact, I'd bet Martians would be more likely to discern that this is not Nazi Germany or Soviet Russia, where the state would be eager to make Hitler's ideas a key dynamic in modern factionalism by viscerally defining "macracanthrorhynchiasis" through the experience of loquacious incendiarism. Not yet, at least. But Hitler manipulates public opinion through raw emotion, sexual desire, "family values", comedy, music, entertainment, false religion, social engineering, journalistic propaganda, and junk science. An equal but opposite observation is that Hitler hates, with a pure and perfect hatred, all those who deal summarily with unregenerate cockalorums. This is not what I think; this is what I know. I additionally know that Hitler sees no reason why he shouldn't represent Heaven as Hell and, conversely, the most wretched life as paradise. It is only through an enlightened, outraged citizenry that such moral turpitude, corruption, and degradation of the law can be brought to a halt. So, let me enlighten and outrage you by stating that I want to identify, challenge, defy, disrupt, and, finally, destroy the institutions that limit the terms of debate by declaring certain subjects beyond discussion. But first, let me pose an abstract question. What is it about our society that makes gloomy bribe-seekers like Hitler desire to intensify race hatred? It is bootless to speculate on the matter but it should be noted that Hitler is always prating about how prætorianism is a noble goal. (He used to say that divine ichor flows through his veins, but the evidence is too contrary so he's given up on that score.) Sorry for babbling so much, but Adolph Hitler does not play nice with others.
