Feedback on Predevelopment Projects
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Minimovies Inc
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Hi everyone. I'm new to the forums and to the program also. I'm currently working on a project called the Redwall Roleplay Game. Redwall is a series of books by Brian Jacques. It's about several small species of creatures such as mice, moles, foxes, squirrels, otters, badgers, hedgehogs, weasels, stoats, ferrets, shrews, hares and wildcats. If you don't know what Redwall really is about visit http://www.redwall.org. The game is still in its beginning stages, and all the character materials have to be made fromn scratch. I was wondering if any of you would help me in the creation of these sprites. most are 32x32. At least, after some research on the Redwall topic.
@ Minimovies Inc,
Hi and welcome to the forums
We have two forums for art/resource requests. The Resource Request forum is if you'd like a small number of resources - usually filled by several different people. The Recruitment forum is a place to seek out individuals to join your design team and help you with large requests.
I would suggest posting a thread in the recruitment forum about your project - including a short description/plot as well as details of the kind of art you're looking for and the features you'll be implementing in your game.
This particular thread is just to get feedback on plot/game ideas
Hi and welcome to the forums
We have two forums for art/resource requests. The Resource Request forum is if you'd like a small number of resources - usually filled by several different people. The Recruitment forum is a place to seek out individuals to join your design team and help you with large requests.
I would suggest posting a thread in the recruitment forum about your project - including a short description/plot as well as details of the kind of art you're looking for and the features you'll be implementing in your game.
This particular thread is just to get feedback on plot/game ideas
Wow! The Redwall books were awesome, albeit a little confusing sometimes. I hope you can pull this one off!:D
On a side note, Negima! Magister Negi Magi will begin official production tommorrow! Oh, yeah! Suckers! Little spoiler: The battle sytem will be combo-based, and hyper-fast, but instead of taking turns, you take control of one party member while the AI controls the others in battle. How I will do this,I do not know. Eh heh heh...
On a side note, Negima! Magister Negi Magi will begin official production tommorrow! Oh, yeah! Suckers! Little spoiler: The battle sytem will be combo-based, and hyper-fast, but instead of taking turns, you take control of one party member while the AI controls the others in battle. How I will do this,I do not know. Eh heh heh...
@ Red Dawn:
I've offered you critique and an explanation as to why we encourage people to find alternative plots and make twists on cliches. I don't think you even acknowledged that you read it. But, that aside ...
Your plot is very cliche and I think you know it. You said that you don't care about that and that you'd play a cliche game anyway, and that's fine. What you need to understand is that you're here in a community of people that have played hundreds (if not thousands) of games. This means that the people here have a refined taste and that they're more critical of games than an average joe that's never played an RPG.
Before you ask for critique, think about who your target audience is. Who are you making this game for? If you're just making it for yourself and possibly your friends, then you don't need the feedback of the community members (i.e. this thread). If you are making this for a more general public, such as the forums, then you'll need to make a lot of changes in order to bring appeal to your game.
I've offered you critique and an explanation as to why we encourage people to find alternative plots and make twists on cliches. I don't think you even acknowledged that you read it. But, that aside ...
Your plot is very cliche and I think you know it. You said that you don't care about that and that you'd play a cliche game anyway, and that's fine. What you need to understand is that you're here in a community of people that have played hundreds (if not thousands) of games. This means that the people here have a refined taste and that they're more critical of games than an average joe that's never played an RPG.
Before you ask for critique, think about who your target audience is. Who are you making this game for? If you're just making it for yourself and possibly your friends, then you don't need the feedback of the community members (i.e. this thread). If you are making this for a more general public, such as the forums, then you'll need to make a lot of changes in order to bring appeal to your game.
@Lunarea
Well I'm making it for the fun of it. Not to play it, but just cause I enjoy making games. I'm on this thread for help developing my storyline. You did a well-thought out suggestion, but it didn't really appeal to me - I dunno why, just didn't sound that much fun. More in-depth thinking about stuff, cutscenes, and less random dungeons and boss battles. Other players might prefer that, but I'm not making this for other people to enjoy playing. I will, however, make a thread and post demos for it eventually so that they can play it.
With my game, the basic outline is a demon falls from the sky, The (possibly kings adviser or something) summoned it because it possesses the key to releasing a powerful entity. Along the way, a young boy who escapes with the demon falls in love with it, and it with him, and eventually he has to kill it to save the world.
There are plenty of cliche element in there (girl falling from sky, boy falls in love with unknown companion etc) but the overall idea of the game is as far as i am aware not done very much. The reason cliche stories don't bother me is because an RPG is not a book. A book which has been done a lot i will not read because its the same thing over again. However, with an RPG just because the storyline is overused doesn't mean the game is. If storyline was all that mattered in a game, FPS's wouldn't exist. Nor would many other game category's, for that matter. When you're playing a game, what appeals to you is what you're doing right that second. Even if the cutscene pertains to an unoriginal storyline, the cutscene itself is original. When playing a game, the storyline isn't laid out in front of you. You can't see my design for it. Your enjoyment is based purely on how enjoyable the current activity is. That said, though, most games require a purpose and a reasonably storyline, at least a basic aim in order for the game to not suck.
Well I'm making it for the fun of it. Not to play it, but just cause I enjoy making games. I'm on this thread for help developing my storyline. You did a well-thought out suggestion, but it didn't really appeal to me - I dunno why, just didn't sound that much fun. More in-depth thinking about stuff, cutscenes, and less random dungeons and boss battles. Other players might prefer that, but I'm not making this for other people to enjoy playing. I will, however, make a thread and post demos for it eventually so that they can play it.
With my game, the basic outline is a demon falls from the sky, The (possibly kings adviser or something) summoned it because it possesses the key to releasing a powerful entity. Along the way, a young boy who escapes with the demon falls in love with it, and it with him, and eventually he has to kill it to save the world.
There are plenty of cliche element in there (girl falling from sky, boy falls in love with unknown companion etc) but the overall idea of the game is as far as i am aware not done very much. The reason cliche stories don't bother me is because an RPG is not a book. A book which has been done a lot i will not read because its the same thing over again. However, with an RPG just because the storyline is overused doesn't mean the game is. If storyline was all that mattered in a game, FPS's wouldn't exist. Nor would many other game category's, for that matter. When you're playing a game, what appeals to you is what you're doing right that second. Even if the cutscene pertains to an unoriginal storyline, the cutscene itself is original. When playing a game, the storyline isn't laid out in front of you. You can't see my design for it. Your enjoyment is based purely on how enjoyable the current activity is. That said, though, most games require a purpose and a reasonably storyline, at least a basic aim in order for the game to not suck.
I've been recently having this RMXP project in my head. I haven't neglected my other ideas posted, though. This specific one that I have may be a bit... Risky? So I'm posting it here to get some feedback.
<Insert start of idea rant here>
The Misadventures of Arshes (yes... you know who I'm talking about, the orange-haired dip from the default RMXP system! :D)
Story: (Note: What makes this risky is that this storyline is INTENDED to be as cliched as possible, but what I want to do is to basically make fun of such in this game I have only in mind right now. So it's kind of like a satire, sort of)
In the distant fantasy world of RMXP, the kingdom of Clichetomia lies in danger. The evil demon overlord, Gheylord Xunervix, has sent his army of demonic beasts to terrorize the people, take over Clichetomia, and steal candy from babies. This reign of terror lasted for several years, and all hope seemed lost. Then, by the flick of a light bulb, the hero of light was born.
In the present day, a young, orange-haired boy sleeps in a quaint little farm home, dreaming about boobies. His name was Arshes, the village's local fighter and idiot, and his mommy just woke him up. "Mom! You ruined my hot hentai dreams again!" they boy complained. Ignoring his cry, the seemingly single mother asked him to go out into the village with his friend, Basil, to perform various and obnoxious tasks for the villagers. One of these pointless tasks causes Arshes and Basil to leave the village, where they meet an adorable cleric named Gloria, who instantly falls in love with Arshes even though she just met him. Upon returning to the village, they found that leaving was one of the worst decisions made, as the entire village was set on fire by demon beast arsonists, killing everyone including Arshes' mom. After crying like a helpless baby for 3 hours, Arshes vowed to to defeat the evil overlord responsible for this attack on his home. Knowing that he is the Hero of Light, he will always find a way to kick the demon's ass, even though he's just a young, dumbass twit who possess little to no power other than taking a piss on people's faces.
CharactersPretty much the default cast of RMXP... With bios)
Arshes/Aluxes
Age: 16
Talents: Fixing light bulbs (he is the Hero of Light after all)
Quote: "AHH! My bikini has gone up my ass!"
Bio: The main hero of the story, the guy that wields the sword, the Hero of Light, it's Arshes! He likes to piss on people, stare at girl's breasts and drool, and use his status to justify his superiority complex over the populace. Not only is he not even an adult, he also has the IQ of a bottle of mustard, but that won't matter, as in the RPG world, people as young as 10 can save the world. He also likes to piss people off by changing his name to Aluxes.
Basil
Age: 17
Talents: Pretending that his spear is a penis
Quote: "You killed my father!"
Bio: A friend of Arshes, he always seems to participate in the crazy shit that his friend dishes out for him. His father was killed in an attempt to overthrow Gheylord, and wishes to avenge his father by killing the demon overlord. Compared to Arshes, he's a hell of a lot more sane.
Gloria
Age: 16
Talents: Healing people
Quote: "He's [Arshes] so cute... But he's clearly a retard. I love him so much!"
Bio: Gloria works for the Holy Cleric Company of Clichetomia (HCCC). She falls deeply in love with Arshes even though they practically just met one another. A possible reason for this is because she is blonde, which may result in such shallow behavior and lack of intellect.
Hilda
Age: 18
Talents: Setting things on fire
Quote: "Does anyone ever listen to me!?"
Bio: Probably the most ignored person on the planet, Hilda is a sane witch who joins Arshes in fighting against the demon overlord, Gheylord, as she has nothing better to do. As a child, her parents died of diseases, her home was burnt down, she was beaten and raped by bad men, and her opinions remained unheard. To put it simply, her life pretty much sucks.
Gheylord
Age: 9000
Talents: Laughing like an evil guy
Quote: "Hehe! He doesn't have a head anymore! Tee-hee!"
Bio: The Demon Overlord, the Generic Villain of Doom, it's Gheylord Xunervix! Just for the sake of being a badass, he decides to take over the kingdom of Clichetomia and torture people. Despite his status, he's a really angsty, kind of mental guy who doesn't really have a good reason for whatever the heck he does. He likes to chop off people's heads and take candies from babies.
--So what do y'all think?--
<Insert start of idea rant here>
The Misadventures of Arshes (yes... you know who I'm talking about, the orange-haired dip from the default RMXP system! :D)
Story: (Note: What makes this risky is that this storyline is INTENDED to be as cliched as possible, but what I want to do is to basically make fun of such in this game I have only in mind right now. So it's kind of like a satire, sort of)
In the distant fantasy world of RMXP, the kingdom of Clichetomia lies in danger. The evil demon overlord, Gheylord Xunervix, has sent his army of demonic beasts to terrorize the people, take over Clichetomia, and steal candy from babies. This reign of terror lasted for several years, and all hope seemed lost. Then, by the flick of a light bulb, the hero of light was born.
In the present day, a young, orange-haired boy sleeps in a quaint little farm home, dreaming about boobies. His name was Arshes, the village's local fighter and idiot, and his mommy just woke him up. "Mom! You ruined my hot hentai dreams again!" they boy complained. Ignoring his cry, the seemingly single mother asked him to go out into the village with his friend, Basil, to perform various and obnoxious tasks for the villagers. One of these pointless tasks causes Arshes and Basil to leave the village, where they meet an adorable cleric named Gloria, who instantly falls in love with Arshes even though she just met him. Upon returning to the village, they found that leaving was one of the worst decisions made, as the entire village was set on fire by demon beast arsonists, killing everyone including Arshes' mom. After crying like a helpless baby for 3 hours, Arshes vowed to to defeat the evil overlord responsible for this attack on his home. Knowing that he is the Hero of Light, he will always find a way to kick the demon's ass, even though he's just a young, dumbass twit who possess little to no power other than taking a piss on people's faces.
Characters
Pretty much the default cast of RMXP... With bios)Arshes/Aluxes
Age: 16
Talents: Fixing light bulbs (he is the Hero of Light after all)
Quote: "AHH! My bikini has gone up my ass!"
Bio: The main hero of the story, the guy that wields the sword, the Hero of Light, it's Arshes! He likes to piss on people, stare at girl's breasts and drool, and use his status to justify his superiority complex over the populace. Not only is he not even an adult, he also has the IQ of a bottle of mustard, but that won't matter, as in the RPG world, people as young as 10 can save the world. He also likes to piss people off by changing his name to Aluxes.
Basil
Age: 17
Talents: Pretending that his spear is a penis
Quote: "You killed my father!"
Bio: A friend of Arshes, he always seems to participate in the crazy shit that his friend dishes out for him. His father was killed in an attempt to overthrow Gheylord, and wishes to avenge his father by killing the demon overlord. Compared to Arshes, he's a hell of a lot more sane.
Gloria
Age: 16
Talents: Healing people
Quote: "He's [Arshes] so cute... But he's clearly a retard. I love him so much!"
Bio: Gloria works for the Holy Cleric Company of Clichetomia (HCCC). She falls deeply in love with Arshes even though they practically just met one another. A possible reason for this is because she is blonde, which may result in such shallow behavior and lack of intellect.
Hilda
Age: 18
Talents: Setting things on fire
Quote: "Does anyone ever listen to me!?"
Bio: Probably the most ignored person on the planet, Hilda is a sane witch who joins Arshes in fighting against the demon overlord, Gheylord, as she has nothing better to do. As a child, her parents died of diseases, her home was burnt down, she was beaten and raped by bad men, and her opinions remained unheard. To put it simply, her life pretty much sucks.
Gheylord
Age: 9000
Talents: Laughing like an evil guy
Quote: "Hehe! He doesn't have a head anymore! Tee-hee!"
Bio: The Demon Overlord, the Generic Villain of Doom, it's Gheylord Xunervix! Just for the sake of being a badass, he decides to take over the kingdom of Clichetomia and torture people. Despite his status, he's a really angsty, kind of mental guy who doesn't really have a good reason for whatever the heck he does. He likes to chop off people's heads and take candies from babies.
--So what do y'all think?--
Well, heres the main story of the game I'm planning (I don't think its ready for an early projects topic yet):
Tears of the Moirae
13 years before the events of the game, during a war between the countries of Fegiwah and Disora ,an event known as 'The Plague' took place. Nobody knew why or how it started, but according to the accounts of the few survivors. It happened in the capital city of Disora (I haven't named it yet), at the tower of Hiish-Dokuu, a tower held sacred to an ancient religion, one practiced by few in the country, but respected by the masses.
From the top of the tower, what looked like a black flame could be seen. Suddenly, the flame grew, and was revealed to be something like a light, but being dark in color. The tower became engulfed in darkness, and as the civilians and soldiers of both sides looked in awe at the site, the darkness quickly spread in all directions for miles, even stretching out into the sea. Not even the survivors knew how or why they had survived. Perhaps they had a guardian angel watching over them. Perhaps they had the will to survive, to not be corrupted by the darkness. Or perhaps it was just dumb luck.
Either way, the effects done to the majority of the people and the land was disastrous. The grass turned a brown color, and the buildings became partially destroyed, like the entire city had come under an attack and no one was defending it. Those who didn't survive did not die, but became grey and cold. Their eyes were lifeless. It was as if they lacked a soul. They acted solely upon their instincts, their only one being simple: Kill.
The few survivors became even fewer, as they tried to flee the area. However, whether it was fate, luck, or a simple coincidence, a group of Priests were resting in a nearby town. Using their powerful magic, they sensed the evil that was about to plague the capital and its surrounding areas, and traveled to the site of battle, where they used their holy powers to transport the survivors and erected a barrier to ward off the soulless creatures - the undead, as they called them.
However, the king of Disora (Who had escaped using a secret tunnel known only to the royal family, connecting the capital and a nearby town, in case battle came upon the capital city) did not trust the magic of the Priests. So he traveled in secret to Fegiwah. Because the majority of Disora's wealth was destroyed, the king resigned himself to the inevitability that Fegiwah would take control. Thus, he made a deal with the rulers of Fegiwah. He would give them his country, with no resistance, on the condition that he be given a part of Fegiwah's wealth. That he could continue his life of luxury. The leaders of Fegiwah agreed to his conditions, and soon they took control.
There were many who hated the King because of this. Many who felt he had abandoned his land. However, after a year or two, many of these people accepted Fegiwah's rule. Fegiwah did not rule as one would expect. It ruled with understanding and kindness. It did not change the lands, it merely helped them.
Upon the former King's suggestion, the Fegiwahn rulers erected a great wall to add extra protection from these now cursed lands. Although the barrier of the priests had worked without fail, this wall put the minds of the Disorans at ease. The Priests did not object, for they knew that not many understood their gifts, nor would accept them easily. They only wondered one thing: Why the former humans, the undead beings without souls, wouldn't even attempt to come near the barrier. As if they were being commanded not too.
Time passed. Although the barrier of the priests had worn off, the wall stayed intact. The undead that lay beyond the wall were not forgotten, but the people no longer thought of them every waking moment. They had become, somewhat of a fragment of the past. A mere memory. Sure, there were occasional attacks. Before it was sealed up with stone, a number of undead had discovered the passage the king had used and attacked the nearby village. Once in awhile, these undead "zombies" would emerge from the ground. And sometimes, the spirits of those who did not become undead would be seen, appearing as revenants, for they were immaterial (They could go through walls, in layman's terms).
However, they were not much of a threat. As long as people did not venture beyond the wall, they could live their lives as if it were 13 years before.
This is where the main character of our story comes in. Orpheus Vaatman, a residence of the Disoran mining town (yet to be named), is a little over 18 years old. After doing some errands around turn, he does some work for a shopkeeper, who needs him to travel to a forest village, in the forest nearby. This coincides with his slightly younger, adopted sister, Gilda, who is returning from her studies at a school for the magically talented, in Xavier's Borough (the town from which the previously mentioned priests are from, renamed after the head priest himself). Although she is younger, one couldn't tell by noticing. In fact, at first glance, one would think that she is much older. Not because of the way she looks, but because she is, simply put, more mature than Orpheus. More wise.
During this "journey", as Orpheus puts it (really just an errand), he is saved by a girl who, although older than him, is both young and talented. She reveals herself to be a fortune teller. After helping her with a small errand, she escorts him to the forest town, where Orpheus waits for his sister at her home. For kicks and to kill time, Orpheus agrees to have his fortune told.
The fortune teller does her "act", and begins the process. As if possessed, her tone suddenly changes and her voices becomes dry and rasp. She begins to, accurately, tell Orpheus what is on his mind. Not whatever he may be thinking about. But what is really on his mind. Orpheus, stunned, continues to listen, until the fateful and last words of the fortune teller are told: "There was one who survived...but was scarred. One who has not been found. One who lives in solitude....one who knows of the origin's of the plague!"
Orpheus, shocked at the news, asks her questions but the fortune is over. The woman explains that, when she sees the fates of people, she is not in control, nor does she remember what she said. Orpheus, both realizing that asking further questions would be pointless and wanting, desperately, to discover more, storms out of the home, just in time to see his sister. They go back to the town.
That night, they discuss their parents. Their father was a soldier in Disora's army, but more than that they did not know. They presume he was either killed or, god forbid, turned into a dreadful undead creature. They hope, for their father's sake, the former. Their mother, who raised them alone after the plague, died 4 years before, near the start of Gilda's second year at the school for the magically talented.
Orpheus discusses the fortune teller's fortune, of sorts, with Gilda and decides that he wants to find this person, who was scarred by the plague but not destroyed, body nor soul, by it. Although Gilda tries to talk him out of it, she realizes that he won't back down and that she herself is interested in finding out the truth behind this secret. When Orpheus leaves his town, perhaps for the last time, Gilda decides to come with him. Although she wants to go because she is interested in solving this mystery, she also wants to protect her brother, even though she is younger. She doesn't think Orpheus, who has been practicing with weapons since he was young, would stand a chance against some creatures in the world, especially ones that were of magical nature.
Thus, the journey of the two begins.
__________________________________
I know its long, but hopefully you'll give it a read. Its just the basic background story, really. But here are some features I hope the have in the game:
P.S. The banner in my sig is for this game. Hopefully, you can guess who Gilda and Orpheus are. You can probably guess something about the "man who was scarred". The other two characters...well, they're a secret for now.
Tears of the Moirae
13 years before the events of the game, during a war between the countries of Fegiwah and Disora ,an event known as 'The Plague' took place. Nobody knew why or how it started, but according to the accounts of the few survivors. It happened in the capital city of Disora (I haven't named it yet), at the tower of Hiish-Dokuu, a tower held sacred to an ancient religion, one practiced by few in the country, but respected by the masses.
From the top of the tower, what looked like a black flame could be seen. Suddenly, the flame grew, and was revealed to be something like a light, but being dark in color. The tower became engulfed in darkness, and as the civilians and soldiers of both sides looked in awe at the site, the darkness quickly spread in all directions for miles, even stretching out into the sea. Not even the survivors knew how or why they had survived. Perhaps they had a guardian angel watching over them. Perhaps they had the will to survive, to not be corrupted by the darkness. Or perhaps it was just dumb luck.
Either way, the effects done to the majority of the people and the land was disastrous. The grass turned a brown color, and the buildings became partially destroyed, like the entire city had come under an attack and no one was defending it. Those who didn't survive did not die, but became grey and cold. Their eyes were lifeless. It was as if they lacked a soul. They acted solely upon their instincts, their only one being simple: Kill.
The few survivors became even fewer, as they tried to flee the area. However, whether it was fate, luck, or a simple coincidence, a group of Priests were resting in a nearby town. Using their powerful magic, they sensed the evil that was about to plague the capital and its surrounding areas, and traveled to the site of battle, where they used their holy powers to transport the survivors and erected a barrier to ward off the soulless creatures - the undead, as they called them.
However, the king of Disora (Who had escaped using a secret tunnel known only to the royal family, connecting the capital and a nearby town, in case battle came upon the capital city) did not trust the magic of the Priests. So he traveled in secret to Fegiwah. Because the majority of Disora's wealth was destroyed, the king resigned himself to the inevitability that Fegiwah would take control. Thus, he made a deal with the rulers of Fegiwah. He would give them his country, with no resistance, on the condition that he be given a part of Fegiwah's wealth. That he could continue his life of luxury. The leaders of Fegiwah agreed to his conditions, and soon they took control.
There were many who hated the King because of this. Many who felt he had abandoned his land. However, after a year or two, many of these people accepted Fegiwah's rule. Fegiwah did not rule as one would expect. It ruled with understanding and kindness. It did not change the lands, it merely helped them.
Upon the former King's suggestion, the Fegiwahn rulers erected a great wall to add extra protection from these now cursed lands. Although the barrier of the priests had worked without fail, this wall put the minds of the Disorans at ease. The Priests did not object, for they knew that not many understood their gifts, nor would accept them easily. They only wondered one thing: Why the former humans, the undead beings without souls, wouldn't even attempt to come near the barrier. As if they were being commanded not too.
Time passed. Although the barrier of the priests had worn off, the wall stayed intact. The undead that lay beyond the wall were not forgotten, but the people no longer thought of them every waking moment. They had become, somewhat of a fragment of the past. A mere memory. Sure, there were occasional attacks. Before it was sealed up with stone, a number of undead had discovered the passage the king had used and attacked the nearby village. Once in awhile, these undead "zombies" would emerge from the ground. And sometimes, the spirits of those who did not become undead would be seen, appearing as revenants, for they were immaterial (They could go through walls, in layman's terms).
However, they were not much of a threat. As long as people did not venture beyond the wall, they could live their lives as if it were 13 years before.
This is where the main character of our story comes in. Orpheus Vaatman, a residence of the Disoran mining town (yet to be named), is a little over 18 years old. After doing some errands around turn, he does some work for a shopkeeper, who needs him to travel to a forest village, in the forest nearby. This coincides with his slightly younger, adopted sister, Gilda, who is returning from her studies at a school for the magically talented, in Xavier's Borough (the town from which the previously mentioned priests are from, renamed after the head priest himself). Although she is younger, one couldn't tell by noticing. In fact, at first glance, one would think that she is much older. Not because of the way she looks, but because she is, simply put, more mature than Orpheus. More wise.
During this "journey", as Orpheus puts it (really just an errand), he is saved by a girl who, although older than him, is both young and talented. She reveals herself to be a fortune teller. After helping her with a small errand, she escorts him to the forest town, where Orpheus waits for his sister at her home. For kicks and to kill time, Orpheus agrees to have his fortune told.
The fortune teller does her "act", and begins the process. As if possessed, her tone suddenly changes and her voices becomes dry and rasp. She begins to, accurately, tell Orpheus what is on his mind. Not whatever he may be thinking about. But what is really on his mind. Orpheus, stunned, continues to listen, until the fateful and last words of the fortune teller are told: "There was one who survived...but was scarred. One who has not been found. One who lives in solitude....one who knows of the origin's of the plague!"
Orpheus, shocked at the news, asks her questions but the fortune is over. The woman explains that, when she sees the fates of people, she is not in control, nor does she remember what she said. Orpheus, both realizing that asking further questions would be pointless and wanting, desperately, to discover more, storms out of the home, just in time to see his sister. They go back to the town.
That night, they discuss their parents. Their father was a soldier in Disora's army, but more than that they did not know. They presume he was either killed or, god forbid, turned into a dreadful undead creature. They hope, for their father's sake, the former. Their mother, who raised them alone after the plague, died 4 years before, near the start of Gilda's second year at the school for the magically talented.
Orpheus discusses the fortune teller's fortune, of sorts, with Gilda and decides that he wants to find this person, who was scarred by the plague but not destroyed, body nor soul, by it. Although Gilda tries to talk him out of it, she realizes that he won't back down and that she herself is interested in finding out the truth behind this secret. When Orpheus leaves his town, perhaps for the last time, Gilda decides to come with him. Although she wants to go because she is interested in solving this mystery, she also wants to protect her brother, even though she is younger. She doesn't think Orpheus, who has been practicing with weapons since he was young, would stand a chance against some creatures in the world, especially ones that were of magical nature.
Thus, the journey of the two begins.
__________________________________
I know its long, but hopefully you'll give it a read. Its just the basic background story, really. But here are some features I hope the have in the game:
- Aethalite Shards - Crystal Shards that have imprints of memories on them, that allow you to view things that happened in the past.
- An air/sea ship unlike any other.
- An AP system, where you can choose to customize your characters. For example, you can specialize Gilda in magic and daggers, magic and bows, or bows and daggers, for those of you who dislike magic. Orpheus, on the other hand, can use sabers (one-handed swords), swords (two-handed swords), and axes.
P.S. The banner in my sig is for this game. Hopefully, you can guess who Gilda and Orpheus are. You can probably guess something about the "man who was scarred". The other two characters...well, they're a secret for now.
@ Red Dawn:
I think you misunderstood my question. This wasn't about whether your game would be popular (though it's nice to know that this isn't your main objective) or whether you're counting on people liking it. Rather, it was about judging just how much of a cliche you can introduce without the player being bored.
Cliches by themselves aren't a big deal. When you deal with the same genre of game that has the same elements, they're pretty much inevitable. The problem rises when you use cliches as plot twists. A plot twist is meant to surprise the player and jolt them out of their element. This is actually what makes the audience closer to the story and what makes them more interested. When you use a cliche as a plot twist, however, you may end up making no impression whatsoever on the player.
The issue (for the lack of better word) with your plot isn't that there's a meteor that falls from the sky, or that the boy and girl fall in love, or even that the antagonist is some royal gone bad. The problem is that they're all in there together. You're losing out on many opportunities to surprise the player and get them drawn into the story. "Girl turns out to be a demon" for example, is a fantastic plot twist if the player isn't expecting it. But you've already presented the audience with the idea that she has red eyes and seems to have some kind of unnatural power. The result ends up being the player saying "Yea, yea, she's a demon. Whatever. *yawn*." and you really want to avoid that if you plan on your game being fun to others.
But you're not making a FPS or a different category of a game. In RPGs, the story is essential. People don't play RPGs for the battles, because they could just as well play a FPS or a strategy/tactics game. They don't play RPGs for the puzzles either, because there are plenty of puzzle games available as well. People play RPGs for the story. All the other elements are what enhances that story and makes that story fun. But the story is the heart of an RPG, and as such is vital to its success.
And you're right, RPGs aren't like books, because it's so much easier to write a story than it is to turn it into a game plot. An RPG has to have a lot of elements in order to be classified as an RPG, which puts serious constraints on all that you can do with the story. The cliches in RPGs are also different because they're often major plot twists.
Now I really hope that I didn't give you the impression that your ideas are bad. I can actually think of a few plots that stem from there that would be interesting and new. For example, instead of a girl falling from a meteor, what if it was a boy? The player wouldn't expect this and you'd grab their interest from the beginning.
I didn't elaborate too much on the idea as it was just an example of how you can take a cliche and make it untraditional. But why would there be more in-depth thinking and less dungeons? We're talking about a guy who thinks he's a hero in his head and I can just imagine him running straigth into dangerous territory just because he thinks a hero should. If anything, it would have more dungeons and boss fights than usual.
@ Ratty524:
It just feels forced to me, like you're trying too hard to be funny and then it just ends up weird instead. Comedy is, in my opinion, probably the toughest to pull off successfully. You don't do it enough, and people think it's just a drama in disguise. You do it too much and you end up with something bad like Scary Movie 3.
While I understand that you want your game to have the comical undertone from the beginning, you want to make it subtle - i.e. you don't want the player groaning and thinking that it'll just be cheesy and not very funny. I'd almost suggest making the game start out on a somewhat serious note, so that the comical element really stands out when you introduce it.
Oh, and you should make "Aluxes" into Arshe's alter ego. Aluxes is the international man of mystery and the arch-nemesis of the evil count. Arshes is just some dude. Then you can proceed to confuse the villain with the split personality.
Gheylord: "I got you now, Aluxes!"
Arshes: "Who the hell is Aluxes? I'm Arshes, the poor farmboy."
Gheylord: "Damn it! Foiled again! Lord Gheylord will rise to the ultimate power again!"
Arshes: "*snortle* Gheylord."
@ kaze950:
If the priests' barrier is essentially what kept the people safe, I'd think they'd panic when it disappeared. And they'd probably panic even more if the undead found a way into the walled area. Furthermore, why did the barrier disappear? Is it because the priests died?
I think you should add something like the people watching the undead waste away and their numbers dwindle (not disappear or anything, but become less of a horde of enemies). This would give you three advantages: 1) A reason for people to stop worrying so much when the shield breaks 2) A reason for the hero (and his party) to be able to actually leave the gates of the kingdom without dying immediately and 3) Possible plot twist of an army mobilizing to exterminate the undead - while the hero may have discovered a way to reverse the effects. This would be a race against time and add an extra pressure on the hero to hurry his quest.
The plot sounds good. I hope you're able to include some effects for the intro when the darkness descends - either artwork or just a great cutscene.
I think you misunderstood my question. This wasn't about whether your game would be popular (though it's nice to know that this isn't your main objective) or whether you're counting on people liking it. Rather, it was about judging just how much of a cliche you can introduce without the player being bored.
Cliches by themselves aren't a big deal. When you deal with the same genre of game that has the same elements, they're pretty much inevitable. The problem rises when you use cliches as plot twists. A plot twist is meant to surprise the player and jolt them out of their element. This is actually what makes the audience closer to the story and what makes them more interested. When you use a cliche as a plot twist, however, you may end up making no impression whatsoever on the player.
The issue (for the lack of better word) with your plot isn't that there's a meteor that falls from the sky, or that the boy and girl fall in love, or even that the antagonist is some royal gone bad. The problem is that they're all in there together. You're losing out on many opportunities to surprise the player and get them drawn into the story. "Girl turns out to be a demon" for example, is a fantastic plot twist if the player isn't expecting it. But you've already presented the audience with the idea that she has red eyes and seems to have some kind of unnatural power. The result ends up being the player saying "Yea, yea, she's a demon. Whatever. *yawn*." and you really want to avoid that if you plan on your game being fun to others.
But you're not making a FPS or a different category of a game. In RPGs, the story is essential. People don't play RPGs for the battles, because they could just as well play a FPS or a strategy/tactics game. They don't play RPGs for the puzzles either, because there are plenty of puzzle games available as well. People play RPGs for the story. All the other elements are what enhances that story and makes that story fun. But the story is the heart of an RPG, and as such is vital to its success.
And you're right, RPGs aren't like books, because it's so much easier to write a story than it is to turn it into a game plot. An RPG has to have a lot of elements in order to be classified as an RPG, which puts serious constraints on all that you can do with the story. The cliches in RPGs are also different because they're often major plot twists.
Now I really hope that I didn't give you the impression that your ideas are bad. I can actually think of a few plots that stem from there that would be interesting and new. For example, instead of a girl falling from a meteor, what if it was a boy? The player wouldn't expect this and you'd grab their interest from the beginning.
I didn't elaborate too much on the idea as it was just an example of how you can take a cliche and make it untraditional. But why would there be more in-depth thinking and less dungeons? We're talking about a guy who thinks he's a hero in his head and I can just imagine him running straigth into dangerous territory just because he thinks a hero should. If anything, it would have more dungeons and boss fights than usual.
@ Ratty524:
It just feels forced to me, like you're trying too hard to be funny and then it just ends up weird instead. Comedy is, in my opinion, probably the toughest to pull off successfully. You don't do it enough, and people think it's just a drama in disguise. You do it too much and you end up with something bad like Scary Movie 3.
While I understand that you want your game to have the comical undertone from the beginning, you want to make it subtle - i.e. you don't want the player groaning and thinking that it'll just be cheesy and not very funny. I'd almost suggest making the game start out on a somewhat serious note, so that the comical element really stands out when you introduce it.
Oh, and you should make "Aluxes" into Arshe's alter ego. Aluxes is the international man of mystery and the arch-nemesis of the evil count. Arshes is just some dude. Then you can proceed to confuse the villain with the split personality.
Gheylord: "I got you now, Aluxes!"
Arshes: "Who the hell is Aluxes? I'm Arshes, the poor farmboy."
Gheylord: "Damn it! Foiled again! Lord Gheylord will rise to the ultimate power again!"
Arshes: "*snortle* Gheylord."
@ kaze950:
If the priests' barrier is essentially what kept the people safe, I'd think they'd panic when it disappeared. And they'd probably panic even more if the undead found a way into the walled area. Furthermore, why did the barrier disappear? Is it because the priests died?
I think you should add something like the people watching the undead waste away and their numbers dwindle (not disappear or anything, but become less of a horde of enemies). This would give you three advantages: 1) A reason for people to stop worrying so much when the shield breaks 2) A reason for the hero (and his party) to be able to actually leave the gates of the kingdom without dying immediately and 3) Possible plot twist of an army mobilizing to exterminate the undead - while the hero may have discovered a way to reverse the effects. This would be a race against time and add an extra pressure on the hero to hurry his quest.
The plot sounds good. I hope you're able to include some effects for the intro when the darkness descends - either artwork or just a great cutscene.
Since this story is still in the planning stages some things might change.
However, the reason the people didn't panic was because of the wall. By the time the barrier was removed, most of the people had accepted the rule of Fegewah. Also, I think I mentioned, that to the Priests surprise, no undead ever came near the barrier at all. Whenever the undead found a way beyond the wall, usually through underground, it was always in small numbers. Also, the barrier of the priests needed immense power and concentration to be held up. It is true that some of the priests, including the lead one, died, but the rest of them simply became indifferent. The people trusted the the wall that Fegewah built, and the undead never seemed to go near the wall at all.
They simply were tired of holding up a barrier that, to them, no longer served a purpose. They wanted normal lives. Although they knew priesthood would not be normal, they were not aware when they began their training that they would have to create a holy barrier and maintain it for the rest of their lives. After all, although they were Priests, they were only human. Thus, they simply gave up on the barrier and went their separate ways. This was roughly 5 or so years before the start of the game (So around 7 years after the event).
Of course, there are secrets to the wall and the priests that will be revealed in the game itself.
And I would like to include great effects. Hell, I think anybody would like to have great effects in their game. Hopefully, I'll be able to do so. I think something like that would work better as artwork though. Like the intros to some 2D RPGs.
However, the reason the people didn't panic was because of the wall. By the time the barrier was removed, most of the people had accepted the rule of Fegewah. Also, I think I mentioned, that to the Priests surprise, no undead ever came near the barrier at all. Whenever the undead found a way beyond the wall, usually through underground, it was always in small numbers. Also, the barrier of the priests needed immense power and concentration to be held up. It is true that some of the priests, including the lead one, died, but the rest of them simply became indifferent. The people trusted the the wall that Fegewah built, and the undead never seemed to go near the wall at all.
They simply were tired of holding up a barrier that, to them, no longer served a purpose. They wanted normal lives. Although they knew priesthood would not be normal, they were not aware when they began their training that they would have to create a holy barrier and maintain it for the rest of their lives. After all, although they were Priests, they were only human. Thus, they simply gave up on the barrier and went their separate ways. This was roughly 5 or so years before the start of the game (So around 7 years after the event).
Of course, there are secrets to the wall and the priests that will be revealed in the game itself.
And I would like to include great effects. Hell, I think anybody would like to have great effects in their game. Hopefully, I'll be able to do so. I think something like that would work better as artwork though. Like the intros to some 2D RPGs.
@ kaze950:
So, if I got this straight ... A holy shield was created by the priests to prevent the darkness from devouring (for the lack of better term) the few lucky survivors. And there was a wall built within the shield as well to make people feel more safe. After a couple of years, the priests concluded that the wall offers as much protection against the undead as the holy shield does. So, they stopped casting the holy shield.
Did the darkness go away, then?
(I think what makes this confusing is that you're using the word "barrier" for both the shield and the wall.)
So, if I got this straight ... A holy shield was created by the priests to prevent the darkness from devouring (for the lack of better term) the few lucky survivors. And there was a wall built within the shield as well to make people feel more safe. After a couple of years, the priests concluded that the wall offers as much protection against the undead as the holy shield does. So, they stopped casting the holy shield.
Did the darkness go away, then?
(I think what makes this confusing is that you're using the word "barrier" for both the shield and the wall.)
You've got it right, somewhat. The darkness wasn't everlasting, it was simply a one time thing that turned many of the people within the radius or whatever you want to call it of the blast (The darkness was, for lack of better term, an energy type thing that quickly spread out in all directions for a number of miles) into, again for lack of better term, undead. The barrier and wall were initially made to keep out the undead from attacking, although the undead never attempted a mass attack (But you can undestand how the people were scared of an attack, right?).
The wall was built outside the barrier. Even though the barrier was invisible, the wall was built outside of the area effected by the darkness. It probably sounds confusing, but I'm sure it will be less so in game or whenever I make a map showing what happened exactly.
I can understand how you are confused, though.
And the barrier (that the priests made) serves another purpose, but thats sort of a spoiler so I won't say what that purpose is unless you really want me too.
The wall was built outside the barrier. Even though the barrier was invisible, the wall was built outside of the area effected by the darkness. It probably sounds confusing, but I'm sure it will be less so in game or whenever I make a map showing what happened exactly.
I can understand how you are confused, though.
And the barrier (that the priests made) serves another purpose, but thats sort of a spoiler so I won't say what that purpose is unless you really want me too.
@lunarea: Great suggestion. It does make me kind of realize how a player can be turned off instantly with an intro filled with dumb crap rather than a progression from a serious tone to one that exposes its comedic nature.
As for your suggestion about the Arshes/Aluxes egos, I didn't really intend on going in that direction, I've pretty much invisioned something like this: His true name is Arshes and he's been nicknamed Aluxes. Then again, your idea doesn't sound as blunt.
As for your suggestion about the Arshes/Aluxes egos, I didn't really intend on going in that direction, I've pretty much invisioned something like this: His true name is Arshes and he's been nicknamed Aluxes. Then again, your idea doesn't sound as blunt.
@ kaze950:
If it is an invisible shield, I imagine it would probably make people quite nervous to be watching the undead shuffle around in the distance. So, yes, I think building a physical wall would be the most logical way to deal with the uneasiness.
I imagine that the priests tried taking down the shield for short periods of time just to see if the undead would approach the wall before deciding it was unneeded too? Not that this is anything essential to your plot, but it just seems like one of those details that might be interesting for the player to discover too
And there's no need to divulge any other plot twists. Now that I understand the concept better, it seems like a good launching point lore-wise.
@ Ratty524:
The alter-ego idea was just an idea. I always thought it'd be funny if there was a character who blamed all stupid things on an alter ego, and then got mad if people don't believe him. I can just imagine the dialogue ...
Arshes:"Well, it's not my fault that we're stuck in this Pit of Doom. You guys are the ones that decided to take that guy Aluxes' advice. *I* was just tagging along!"
If it is an invisible shield, I imagine it would probably make people quite nervous to be watching the undead shuffle around in the distance. So, yes, I think building a physical wall would be the most logical way to deal with the uneasiness.
I imagine that the priests tried taking down the shield for short periods of time just to see if the undead would approach the wall before deciding it was unneeded too? Not that this is anything essential to your plot, but it just seems like one of those details that might be interesting for the player to discover too
And there's no need to divulge any other plot twists. Now that I understand the concept better, it seems like a good launching point lore-wise.
@ Ratty524:
The alter-ego idea was just an idea. I always thought it'd be funny if there was a character who blamed all stupid things on an alter ego, and then got mad if people don't believe him. I can just imagine the dialogue ...
Arshes:"Well, it's not my fault that we're stuck in this Pit of Doom. You guys are the ones that decided to take that guy Aluxes' advice. *I* was just tagging along!"
@Lunarea: (What inspired you to come up with that username? xD)
Oh I was aware that it was just an idea, didn't want to sound like I was all out opposing you, if that is what you felt. I actually may start on this sooner than imagined, maybe a project alongside my current one (The Secret of Ludia). All I really have though in regards to development is a revision of the story on a piece of paper, though I also plan on drawing facesets and battlers (to suit my preferences mainly, I know there are tons of RTP reasources like Gozaru's(sp?) facesets and all, though I want to create my own style and give it a more American-cartoony feel with the artwork).
Oh I was aware that it was just an idea, didn't want to sound like I was all out opposing you, if that is what you felt. I actually may start on this sooner than imagined, maybe a project alongside my current one (The Secret of Ludia). All I really have though in regards to development is a revision of the story on a piece of paper, though I also plan on drawing facesets and battlers (to suit my preferences mainly, I know there are tons of RTP reasources like Gozaru's(sp?) facesets and all, though I want to create my own style and give it a more American-cartoony feel with the artwork).
@ Ratty524:
Another idea is to go a different route with the battlers and faces. Maybe start out with something cohesive (like Gozaru's style) and then just keep adding stuff that doesn't match in style. Then at some point, switch them all with a placeholder. And eventually replace them with your own art. And the characters can comment about it. Like
Arshes: "OMG! MY FACE IS MELTED!"
Basil: "No, you idiot. We just all look the same because the game creat ... err... God is revamping our style."
(And I wish I had some great witty story about the name, but it was just an old name from my roleplaying days. "Ea" means spirit in Elvish, and my character was a follower of the Moon, so I just stuck something to do with moon and spirit together.)
Another idea is to go a different route with the battlers and faces. Maybe start out with something cohesive (like Gozaru's style) and then just keep adding stuff that doesn't match in style. Then at some point, switch them all with a placeholder. And eventually replace them with your own art. And the characters can comment about it. Like
Arshes: "OMG! MY FACE IS MELTED!"
Basil: "No, you idiot. We just all look the same because the game creat ... err... God is revamping our style."
(And I wish I had some great witty story about the name, but it was just an old name from my roleplaying days. "Ea" means spirit in Elvish, and my character was a follower of the Moon, so I just stuck something to do with moon and spirit together.)
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