FAIL.

[Buster]

god-DAMN

when it's nearing that time of the month, you don't go downtown on a lady! ya just DON'T!

you get points for being a good sport though ... i woulda dumped the bitch! Then probably I would have gone TOTALLY straight, insteada half-straight :/

Haha, well, like I said, it was a few hours into it, and I saw no signs of blood then. *shrug*

I've learned my lesson though, lol.

I rememeber

Spoiler

One time a classmate of mine in 11th grade was telling us about a girl he was having intercourse with. Everything was going well and it was about to be the climax, when all of a sudden she drops a huge deuce. @_@ He then made her get up, wash his sheets, make up the bed, and walk home (about 6 miles).

I dunno if he was honest on this or not, but thats a pretty big fail for her! (And embarrassing.)

That guy was a pretty big asshole, though.

That reminds me of yet another fail, but not for me this time.

Spoiler: Yeah... this one is actually probably the worst...

Apparently, one of my old friends was getting a bj from his girlfriend, when he goes to touch her ass, and finds that she had apparently shit herself.  I don't know exactly what his reaction was, but I heard that instead of freaking out, he started to wipe it in her hair instead.  Now everytime I look at her... :x

EDIT:  I think it's possible that I've killed this thread now... >.<

 

[moog]

Im gonna go throw up now.

 

[mawk]

Now these are what I call FAILs.

(oh, um, also "ew")

 

[alexis]

Spoiler: go away kidlets, this is gross

i got it in my eye once. wasn't a fail, it was just an "ow, mild sting, aim better next time".

what's much, much worse is when you get it in your ... uhh ... "out" port. It's impossible to get out until you take a #2 and ... Well, it's a natural  lubricant, and ... I need say no more.

[i warned you]

[/quote]

Spoiler

There was this year 10 girl who er... well, it was her time of the month. And the PMT gods were angry with her... And she kinda... everywhere she sat. You know, red puddles. Well, it's very hard to see red on a red chair. And it soaks really well into school trousers.

That's not so bad though - the teacher spotted some on a desk she'd been sitting on and wiped it up with his sleeve.

This reminds me of another fail... lol

Spoiler: Rated R again

This one is really embarrassing, but... My girlfriend thought she was getting her period late, because it was a few days after she usually got it, and she still wasn't bleeding, so when she went over to my house, one thing led to another, and after a few hours, I decided to... well, I don't really know a nice way of putting it, eat her out.  Once I was done, I moved my head up and touched my fingers to my lips, looked at them, and said, "That is blood."  She stared at me for a while and just started apologizing profusely.
I actually thought it was the most hilarious thing afterwards, but at the time I was a wee bit shocked, lol.

it may be gross, but you're a fucking trooper.
props to you!

 

[alexis]

i don't konw what i just did, but i totally fucked up that quote too.
way to go, alexis.

 

[Buster]

it may be gross, but you're a fucking trooper.
props to you!

Haha, thanks, I guess.

 

[Venetia]

Spoiler: factoid

it's actually really hard for some girls to control their bowels/gas when being "throttled" really hard. Remember, you're rattling around the same set of muscles that controls their bowel movements. Most girls, it's gas, but sometimes, if you have to go really bad ...

Not that I have, that's just nasty! But some chicks eat a lot of fiber :x

i like these horrible fails though. keep 'em coming.

Spoiler

closest shit i got is, my friend told me about the first time she did it with her boyfriend, she let out a very large fart right before the climax, and it was a lingerer :X

luckily the dude just laughed a little, waited a sec for it to dissipate, then finished up :P

sex is actually pretty fucking gross if you look at it from an outsider, non-horny perspective.

 

[Buster]

I'm sure you guys are tired of hearing about my sex life, but...

Spoiler

One time when my girlfriend and I were going at it, she was on top, and to get maximum thrusting power, she would lift up as I would pull back, so that I almost was entirely out of her before slamming it back home again (sorry, I can't think of any other way to describe it, lol).  Well, apparently, one of use accidentally pulled out too much, and so I popped out, and she sat forcefully on it... and yeah. Probably the most painful experience of my life. I tried to not make her feel too bad about it, so I attempted to keep on going, but damn, it fucking hurt like hell. :/

You know, this says alot about my sex life. :x

 

[Luminier]

Holy shit, you guys have saved the FAIL thread from the dark pit of disaster that is "shiroun and co.'s stomping ground". Bravo.

 

[mawk]

Yeah, I'm stoked too! Sex fails that are actually FAILs and not just "hey guys btw I got laid this one time."

I'll never understand the dudes who go out of their way to impress people on internet forums.

Pfff, like we matter.

 

[Sonata]

New favourite thread.

 

[alexis]

Holy shit, you guys have saved the FAIL thread from the dark pit of disaster that is "shiroun and co.'s stomping ground". Bravo.

i credit myself for the new turn of focus.

 

[Buster]

Holy shit, you guys have saved the FAIL thread from the dark pit of disaster that is "shiroun and co.'s stomping ground". Bravo.

i credit myself for the new turn of focus.

Haha, pretty much.

 

[moog]

I'm sure you guys are tired of hearing about my sex life, but...

Spoiler

One time when my girlfriend and I were going at it, she was on top, and to get maximum thrusting power, she would lift up as I would pull back, so that I almost was entirely out of her before slamming it back home again (sorry, I can't think of any other way to describe it, lol).  Well, apparently, one of use accidentally pulled out too much, and so I popped out, and she sat forcefully on it... and yeah. Probably the most painful experience of my life. I tried to not make her feel too bad about it, so I attempted to keep on going, but damn, it fucking hurt like hell. :/

You know, this says alot about my sex life. :x

Dude, the same thing happened to me once, except I was really drunk so I didnt realize the pain at the time.

Oh boy, but when I did.....@__@

 

[Ellie]

I'm sure you guys are tired of hearing about my sex life, but...

Spoiler

One time when my girlfriend and I were going at it, she was on top, and to get maximum thrusting power, she would lift up as I would pull back, so that I almost was entirely out of her before slamming it back home again (sorry, I can't think of any other way to describe it, lol).  Well, apparently, one of use accidentally pulled out too much, and so I popped out, and she sat forcefully on it... and yeah. Probably the most painful experience of my life. I tried to not make her feel too bad about it, so I attempted to keep on going, but damn, it fucking hurt like hell. :/

You know, this says alot about my sex life. :x

It could have been worse.

Spoiler

My friend... He was screwing his girlfriend, as you do, and he popped out. Well, we tried to carry on going, missed, went in the wrong hole, and ripped off his foreskin. Bleeding everywhere, he then found out his girlfriend had a fetish for blood.

I don't know why he told me this, or why he thought I'd really want to know that, but whatever.

 

[Calibre]

Yeah some kid back when I was at school somehow got his cock caught in his bike chain and it tore his foreskin off.  It isn't fake he showed everyone.

Going down on women with periods... I've done external on the light days after a wash (by the female in question, not me) but god no more than that.  Anyone that puts the tongue in is a sick fuck.  I know plenty of people that choose to do that and they are sick little bastards.

 

[Venetia]

I don't even want to be NEAR chicks on their period. Fucking gross. Honestly I think it grosses me out worse than anything.

Whenever chicks talk to me about theirs I either grit my teeth and go to my happy place, or else I clap my hands over my ears and sing something. Good lord I'm happy I'm exempt from that shit.

Chicks figure they can talk about periods and tampons and babies with every chick but STOP TALKING TO ME ABOUT IT PLEASE. ffffffffffffffffffffffffff

 

[mawk]

Ouch. Ouch ouch ouch. I don't want to think about how it'd feel to have your foreskin ripped off.

Now how did he get it caught in a bike chain? Was he, like, riding nude? :x

 

[Venetia]

Now how did he get it caught in a bike chain? Was he, like, riding nude? :x

Maybe he was making sweet love to the bike, but then accidentally slapped the wheel, and--

 

[Calibre]

Maybe he had a prize-winning willie.