Your first time ...

[Venetia]

Warning: Topic may get a little adult! If your mom's reading over your shoulder, hook your fingers into her nostrils and throw her into the computer monitor TO HIDE THE EVIDENCE

Everyone sucks the first time they do something, most of the time. So tell us about your first time doing something, whether the outcome was painful, embarrassing, demeaning, disfiguring, awkward, or particularly sweet ass.

If you're currently a teenager, you're not allowed to talk about sexual stuff because you're still awkward and silly so nothing's going to be good for years anyway. And no one is impressed by your sexploits unless you're me, sixty, arbie, or maybe just a girl in general, so shut your sweet face.

You can talk about your first time doing ANYTHING, as long as the outcome is atleast mildly interesting. A story about your first time knitting and you pricked your finger is not interesting. A story about your first time knitting and you poked a needle into your eye and bled everywhere is interesting.

Here are some ideas, but you don't have to pick one of them.

Your first time ...

- Playing a sport
- Accidentally peeing (in public?)
- Breaking a bone
- Getting down and dirty (remember: no [current] teens allowed!)
- Kissing/more? the same sex
- Driving a car
- Wrecking a car
- Drinking/eating something rancid
- Puking in public
- Getting drunk
- Getting high
- Auditioning for something
- Buying something HUGE and FRIVOLOUS
- Making something (which turns out terribly)
- Starting a business
- Doing something school or college related
- Getting pregnant/Getting someone pregnant
- Getting a pregnancy scare
- Eating something so gross you gagged/puked from it
- Giving oral (remember: no [current] teens allowed!)
- Getting caught by your girlfriend/boyfriend's parents while doin' it
- Getting caught by the cops
- Stealing something
- Trying to do a big stunt
- Whatever you want


Go, thrill us with your wild tales

 

[sixtyandaquarter]

My first time riding a bike.
I had refused to learn to ride a bike without training wheels when I was younger.  I basically, didn't care enough to ride a bike to begin with.  I didn't want to ride a bike any longer, training wheels or not, and stubbornly refused.  I took the training wheels off and threw them in a garbage bag and said something about how now they're gone it's not like I'll be riding anyway - only in little kid speak.

Years later and it's like 5th grade maybe, maybe the summer before.  And for whatever reason I grab my sister's white mongoose and get on and start to ride and went right into a parked car.  The second time I walked right back up the hill and turned around, got on the bike and almost made it all the way down when I went face first into a tree.  The third attempt - by the way this hill is a side street for a busy street come rush hour :X so imagine what I went into, but luckily I didn't get hurt I just flew head over heels when I smacked the curb across the way and flung myself into the air.  Eventually I learned to ride a bike that day and went home.

The first day of school, in a brand new school, and I had more scars and scabs on me then most of the kids probably ever had in their lives - total up until, and possibly past that point in time.

 

[Stardust]

This should be an interesting thread as long as everybody follows the guidelines.  I'll be doing the first time I broke a bone.

I was at my grandma's birthday party at our local park.  I had brought my bike, and so had my three cousins, so we rode around every now and then until it was cake a present time.  I got done eating and let my food settle a little before I went out on my bike again.  Unfortunately, I was going in the opposite direction of one of my cousins.  I'm not sure what I was looking at, but we collided over a speed bump.  I screamed.  My left wrist looked like this (you'll have to excuse the bad sketch):
http://img376.imageshack.us/img376/6742/sketch1xw6.png[/img]

Fortunately, all the woman from the party decided to take a bathroom break at the same time and the bathroom was right next to where I fell.  They obviously heard my scream, so they came over and told the cousin who I collided with to tell my dad (he was fine with a few scratches).  My mom told him, "Tell him to get my pocketbook and the car."  What he told my dad was "Get the pocketbook in the car."  My dad walked over leisurely, not knowing what happened, and had to go back to get the car.

At that time, a cop was driving by, saw us in the middle of the road, and drove over.  He got a brace out of his car and strapped my wrist to it and left after he saw that we were leaving.  On the way out, the party nearest the accident must have overheard us and offered us a bag of ice to numb the pain.  When I got to the hospital, it wasn't hurting too much from all the help.  They took X-rays and examined it.  They wouldn't need to open me up, but they wanted to put me under anesthesia when they snapped my bone back to where it was supposed be.  Well, you can't have eaten within 24 hours, and I had just had cake.

So, we went back home with my arm in a sling and I had to sleep with a broken arm.  That was painful.  The next morning, I had the operation and had a huge cast on my entire left arm because the left bone had actually been pushed from the elbow.  That got incredibly itchy very fast.  We found an arm sock that you could pump the air out of so I could go swimming and take a shower, though.  Anyway, when I got it off, it felt so strange.  So much so that I started to cry.  It didn't hurt, but I couldn't control it, and that's a scary feeling.  I got a brace and slowly began getting muscle back.  The best thing for it was the pool because the gravity isn't as strong and what little muscles I had could control the wrist.

Anyway, the morale of this story is that I'm incredibly lucky. :thumb:

 

[sixtyandaquarter]

First bone I broke was my thumb.
It's a retarded story.  I jumped into someones bed to say goodnight to this lady who was baby sitting me, I was a little kid at the time and very affectionate.  I ended up snapping my thumb under me on one of the softest mattresses I'd have ever known.  I literally broke my thumb on a god damn pillow.

I said I broke my thumb, and was very upset.  I liked my thumb, it was perfectly fine the way it was.  This was silly, everyone said when they looked at my thumb.  I could move it perfectly.  Finally my mom gave in and took me to a doctor who believed I would have a minor sprain, as my thumb wasn't really swollen and I was able to move it normally.

I had a fracture running down the length of the bone between the two joins, straight from knuckle to knuckle, as well as a fracture in the other bone.  I literally had a line running down my thumb, but somehow skipping over the joint.  I wore a brace for 3 days and gave up because it was annoying.  My thumb cracks to this day.

 

[Despain]

first time i came was masturbating to sailor moon late at night on toonami. i was likle 11 years old or something. i had masturbated a bunch of times before that but never actually CAME. i was just going at it and then suddenly i was like "ooooh that hit the spot that feels realllly good" and then i looked down and was like HOLY SHIT YES!!!! and i ran to the bathroom to clean up

 

[Hevendor]

My first (and only!) broken bone was my right wrist a bunch of years ago, after I landed badly from a jump. Pretty much what sixty said, I landed on it and it snapped under me. It hurt, but during the whole 8 hours or so before I went to the hospital, I NEVER thought it was broken since I had always imagined a broken bone being some horrible pain, and this hadn't hurt all that much. I could move it around good eonugh, though I had to avoid some movements that caused pain.

My mother apparently noticed this and dragged me to the hospital. An hour or two later, lo and behold - a one month cast fate. Which was the end of the world for me since I couldn't  play the piano, play volleyball, play videogames, draw or write. It was a pita to do EVERYTHING, though I eventually got used to do stuff left-handed. I couldn't take notes on anything the teachers were saying, so I just spent classes learning how to draw left-handed. Thanks to that broken bone, I am now ambidextrous, so I guess it wasn't all bad. It felt like a nightmare when I got that plaster sentence of doom though.

 

[FlippyD]

I remember the first time I fired a weapon, it was at my uncle's house. His cat had thoroughly eviscerated my face my previous night, and after an unenthusiastic round of Wolfenstein (the first time I ever saw it, he was a FPS nut), I noticed his crossbow on the wall, and we took it out back and he taught me how to shoot it, then set me up out back to shoot any deer that happen to try and get a drink in his pool.

Sadly no deer came by :<

Addendum: Also, I never broke my bones, but I've cut myself more times than an emo kid on a 30 Seconds to Mars binge after being called fat on MySpace. The first time I cut my tongue straight down the middle playing with my neighbors fucking giant of a dog. Since then I've cut or burned my tongue on at least 4 other occasions, and I have a hard time tasting flavors. Then I cut my eyebrow trying to shave it off with my Mother's razor. I also cut my ear almost in half tripping on a rock when I snuck into the big kids part of the forest at camp. I got the front part of my skull ripped up when my brother clubbed me in the head with a 7-iron at the driving range. I got my arm cut up taking care of a feral cat at an animal hospital, cut my dick on the zipper in my jeans, got stabbed in the hand by a pencil my brother jammed into it (the pencil tip is still embedded in there, you can see it,) and just a few days ago I got a flare up of some kind of HPV on my lip. I cleaned the surface with an alchohol tab, popped it with a safety pin cleaned with an anti-bacterial pad, excised the infected area as best I could, cleaned it out with an analgeasic, and applied a bandaid...

I play Trauma Center too much if you can't tell, and I've probably fucked something up somehow, but meh.

Also the first time I "did the act" my girl wanted to use lube. Lacking any, she brought out her shaving cream...

BAD

FUCKING

IDEA!!!

 

[candle]

Since we're on the subject of broken bones, I''l share a story.  When I was about eight or nine, I went with a friend to a local skate park.  I had in-line skates on and decided to go down a quarter pipe for the first time.  Like most people, I fell.  I fell on the side of my right hand and my pinky hurt like hell.

Being a big boy and never having had a broken bone before, I cried a little then shook it off, only thinking it sprained.  After a couple hours the pain dulled and my parents came to pick me up from the friend'/s house.  I told them what happened and my mom asked if I could move my fingers.  When I tried, intense pain shot through the far side of my right hand.

Suffice to say, they took me to stat care and I got a few X-rays taken.  The doctors told my my little finger was broken and the ring finger was "sprained."  They put a splint on my pinky and wrapped up the two fingers along with my middle one with an ace bandage.

My ring finger never did heal properly, and now there is a gap between it and my middle finger from tip to the second knuckle that wasn't there before, and isn't present on my left hand.  Truthfully, I think maybe my ring finger was broken as well.

 

[Glitchfinder]

I have a rather interesting one. The first time I ever ruined a game CD, (it was an old RollerCoaster Tycoon one), I actually ended up having to reinstall not only the game, but Internet Explorer due to some random shit being edited by the cd. I had apparently managed to get the game to start running, and it thought I clicked the button to go to the designer's website or something like that. Oh, and I was only able to uninstall the programs after restarting about 15 times, because something different was messed up every time.

On a side note, the first time I ever really messed up a computer what when I used the official patch on Nero 7 (my dad wanted to install it for some reson) so that it would work with Vista. After successfully installing it, I could no longer open half the folders or programs on the computer. Oh, and I couldn't uninstall Nero 7, because it said something else was in the intallation/uninstallation process. Then, five days later, I turn on the computer (for the first time since trying to fix the problem and failing), and Nero 7 is gone without a trace, even though the computer hadn't even been on since the time I failed to uninstall it.

Finally, a weird fact is that the official update for one of my computer's monitors resets the colors to 8-bit, and the resolution to below the monitor's minimum, and won't let me change either. And, the official update to my Dell Vista computer's audio drivers actually deletes the audio. Weird, huh?

 

[FlippyD]

A lot of us have been offering up Venetia, so go on! Spill the goods!!

 

[sixtyandaquarter]

My first sexual exploration... :\

Spoiler: Nothing explicit but I s'pose NSFW?

I was young.  No I was REAL young.  I actually don't know the age.  Bad memory and all, but there's clues in the memory.  That's how young I was.

I was in my sister's room, which would later be my room.  So this is definitely before the 5th grade.  I had a friend named Marissa, and Marissa had an on again off again friendship with someone who lived across the street - whose name I oddly can't remember.  They were friends and rivals every other day.  Part of this was because this girl apparently had a crush on me.

Well, my parents and her parents were friends, so one day she and her brother came over.  And during this time I asked if I could show her something and brought her into my sisters room, where I used to draw.  So I showed her some drawings and gave her a little sculpture I made - I used to make these things all the time and hand them out to people.  I was like Mr. Gift Giver, I was a very nice kid

So now it was her turn I guess... and I always locked the doors in the house when I could.  I don't know why but I always locked the door when I could - oddly enough the door doesn't lock anymore :x

So she asked if she could show me something, so she took her pants off.  And I asked if I could touch.  This resulted in exploration of below the belt.  Then it was my turn.  It was kind of weird because for some reason I didn't know what was going on, nothing felt "wrong" like some people would claim it should have.  A few moments later, a few touches later, a few tastes later, what have you, and I really don't think either of us knew anything.
It was more of a case of not feeling like some thing's wrong, but knowing it's a secret.

This might be a reason why I think our taboo over sexuality is wrong and harmful.  Because for a while it's not that I felt some how guilty, but I felt that twinge where you don't think you've done bad, but you think someone could be mad.

My second encounter was much better.  I was older, and the girl was much older.  But this isn't a "Your secnod time ...", so too bad on that story.

Have fun :\

 

[Ellie]

First time doing Javelin, (and only time funnily enough), went to throw it, hit myself in the back of the head, knocked myself out, and got -2 meters.

 

[sixtyandaquarter]

That is awesome :x

 

[MukanshinBlack]

Let's see...  All the talk about bone-breaking made me remember the first time I almost broke a bone, but more specifically my skull.  I was like 10 and on vacation in Brazil (since I'm brazilian), and it was night-time.  I went for a walk because I was bored, and walked into the "garage" which was a couple of steps above the ground.  I started thinking about something, and got severly distracted, and was leaning on the way near the stairs.  I started moving more and more towards the stairs, and went to lean back and fell down but broke my fall when my head hit the stone wall (around a 10 ft drop).  Upon hitting it, there was a really loud boom, but I didn't feel much anything and went towards the house scared and stuff.  My aunt and grandma came out of the house and asked me what happened, and I told them I hit my head on the wall thinking it was no big deal.  They started getting worried and thinking I was hurt, when I wasn't, and then I started crying because I was thinking I was hurt although I didn't feel no pain. >,>  Later on at the hospital, the doctor did an x-ray and saw that I was fine, and was impressed and said something like I have a pretty strong skull.  Anyways, I never actually broke a bone after this, but this was the worst fall I had since.

 

[Venetia]

Heh heh Wyatt's is awesome

First time I ever did anything naughty with a girl, her (very religious) grandma walked in on us, when we had nothing on but each other :x

She wouldn't even look at us for days @_@

 

[Jstreet]

Marry me

 

[FlippyD]

Marry me

I just don't see the appeal of girl on girl :/

 

[mawk]

Girl on guy under girl.

Better?

 

[Despain]

Marry me

I just don't see the appeal of girl on girl :/

me neither. it's so funny when guys get all excited "oh sweeet lesbians" because they have this idea that it means threesome.

news flash: if a chick is with another chick she probably DOES NOT WANT OR NEED YOUR DICK

 

[FlippyD]

Well, I can see it if maybe the other woman is there to spot you. Y'know, some guys need help undoing bras, making sure you're aiming for the right spots, throw you a bottle of Gatorade if you need it.