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I dont really know how you can put an age stamp on maturity (mental). At what point can you decree that you are mature? I dont really understand that... Venetia said
What happens at this time that changes their mental status from 'immature' to 'mature'? I dont really get this. Can anyone explain it for me? But anyway, physical-growthwise, its quite variable. I know plenty of guys who are about 6 foot and are <16. Excluding a couple, they are broad and well-filled-out, so i cant really see them growing much more. People (cant be arsed looking up names) have said that most men finish growing at around 20-25, but it can carry on longer. I honestly cant see these guys getting any bigger. Maybe small changes to physique would be possible, but sizewise id say theyre done. So when people say guys finish growing physically at those ages, in what respects do they mean? Sorry this is so incoherent, im friggin tired |-p
Red Dawn;263714":3ghoj89h said:
No, they can keep growing, stature-wise, well into their twenties. Some dudes grow slower than others. Also their skulls grow, their bones fuse, their feet grow, and their (erm) manhood, can keep growing as well into their twenties. It might not be very significant, but people still do grow that late in life.
I would deem someone "mentally mature" when they can hold down a good job, pay their bills on time, if they live on their own or with a spouse/significant other, if they can be a caring, respectful, and doting lover and/or parent (should they choose to be with someone or have children), and if they're capable of caring for people who cannot care for themselves (not that they do, just that they could and would for a loved one if they had to suddenly).
It's all up to perspective, but that's what I consider being "mentally mature". Basically it's being financially and personally independent and capable of being responsible for others.
Thank the 60's.
Generally finding quality people now days (male and female) is hard to do.
My advice: If your 18 and below, date around to get a feel for what perosnality traits you can and can't live with. But DO NOT get sexually involved; I know, fight the "perfectly natural, teenager, blah blah blah" tendencies. If your 18+ go to college and get to know people on an intellectual level, leave the "I love him/her because they are cute" immature mentality at home and become a responsable adult.
Finding Mr. Mrs. right as fast as possable isn't that important.
But, once you do find them, let them know how incredably special they are because they have not given into the molding todays culture has imposed on so many youth.
Don't let them go.
@Ventia- great def. of mentally mature. The only thing I would add would be the ability to swallow one's pride and ego for the oppurtinity to better some one else. I think that is a trait lost today. Everyone wants to be right, and never told when they are wrong. Basically, always staying teachable.
Generally finding quality people now days (male and female) is hard to do.
My advice: If your 18 and below, date around to get a feel for what perosnality traits you can and can't live with. But DO NOT get sexually involved; I know, fight the "perfectly natural, teenager, blah blah blah" tendencies. If your 18+ go to college and get to know people on an intellectual level, leave the "I love him/her because they are cute" immature mentality at home and become a responsable adult.
Finding Mr. Mrs. right as fast as possable isn't that important.
But, once you do find them, let them know how incredably special they are because they have not given into the molding todays culture has imposed on so many youth.
Don't let them go.
@Ventia- great def. of mentally mature. The only thing I would add would be the ability to swallow one's pride and ego for the oppurtinity to better some one else. I think that is a trait lost today. Everyone wants to be right, and never told when they are wrong. Basically, always staying teachable.
AceJP;263799":2z67fm74 said:
Yeah, that's a good one, too.
About the other thing you said: I met my current husband in high school >_>. I just got lucky, though, we've been together going on 7 years and it's been great. Most kids are too immature at that point to find the right person, though, and like I said, I got lucky there. :#
Weird thing about his family, though: all his siblings and his parents married high school sweethearts. His parents have been together since they were 14, and they're the strongest couple I've ever seen. See? It happens
Also, @AceJP: You live in San Diego? Man, I used to live there and I loved it. I wanna move back so bad. Eat a burrito for me from Mocasalsa or something, will you?
I would say that holding down a crap job and being successful in school would be equivalent to holding down a good job, i dont pay bills but i save a lot of money, I dont spend much on crap so assuming i had a real job i could spend the additional money on my bills. I live with my mum, shes a flight attendent so shes away a lot, so i do my own washing, make my own dinner (i can cook basic stuff... You know, pasta with meat and sauce, potatoes - boiled or roasted - as well as other vegetables) dishes etc so i reckon if i lived on my own i would struggle for a bit but i could do it. As far as i am aware i am a good partner, buy my gf roses and that crap, i care about her, respect her, and i suppose after a fashion i dote on her. Im capable of caring for others, i have a 6-year-old sister who i look after.
So would i be decreed as mentally mature? As far as i can tell the only thing barring me from fulfilling everything you consider that makes you mentally mature is that i live with a parent and go to school, if i was suddenly fast-forwarded to 10 or so years ahead, I live in a flat, studied at Uni and have a good job BUT have an identical mentality to what i have now, i think that i could get by without too much difficulty. But i wouldn't consider myself mentally mature, not totally, i do stupid stuff without thinking it through all the time, so i dont really think you can apply your opinion of mental maturity to me.
Red Dawn;264159":e4pxgngq said:
Adults on their own do dumb things all the time without thinking about it. That's why there are so many car accidents, drunk drivers, burglaries, coke-addicts, and folks who go bankrupt when the stock market crashes.
Making good decisions is surely a part of being responsible but you cannot be expected to always make the right decision. You cannot always think everything through either, as there's no way to predict the future.
If your gf suddenly had your kid (let's just say, I don't feel like bickering about that possibility), would you be able to care for her and the baby without depending on your mom? If you suddenly lost your job, would you be able to make ends meet while waiting for a new one? If your parents died (god forbid), would you be able to pick up the pieces and survive on your own? Do you accept criticism? Do you help support yourself and your mother? Or is the money from your job going to frivolous expenses?
It's very difficult to gauge mental maturity of someone still living with their parent(s) because it's impossible to answer most of the above questions. Assuming you could is nice but in reality the answer might be different.
So just enjoy the road toward M. Maturity, because the day you're truly mature you'll know it, it won't be a hazy topic.
Like I said, some people never truly "grow up". But that's not always necessarily a bad thing, either.
Very true. Not a chance i could look after a kid. Or support a person on my crappy income. But then, if she got pregnant she would get an abortion, no questions. Though she couldn't get pregnant, she doesnt want to have sex yet. If i lose my job, i will lose about like $100 a week. Yes, thats right. I am a checkout guy at a supermarket. I save nearly all of my money, and just spend a little. If i lost my job, i would get another crappy part-time job without much difficulty, because they always need new supermarket workers. If my mum died id live with my aunt/uncle, which would be okay because they dont have any kids of their own. If I couldnt live with rellies, i could support myself food-wise and just stay with friends or my gf. At the end of last year/start of this one, when me and my mum were fighting a lot, i stayed at my gfs house for about two months. I could do that again. And so ends an incredibly long paragraph =]