Transsexuals

[Ellie]

I still hold by my opinion that nobody in the world is straight and that gender is a completely and utterly moot point other than the obvious physical differences. One's ability to love someone regardless of sexual properties is simply amazing - take online romances for example. I am infatuated with someone over the Internet. I have never met them, until recently had never seen them, and yet I still find myself able to love said person.

I understand that people have preferences, yes. But after being with someone for a while and coming to know them as a person, physical features become a lot less prevalant and I reckon even yourself, if you had been with someone for so long as to fall in love with them and suddenly they turned into a talking potplant you'd still love them.

 

[Guest]

;D

 

[Guest]

;D

 

[Feldschlacht IV]

I still hold by my opinion that nobody in the world is straight and that gender is a completely and utterly moot point other than the obvious physical differences. One's ability to love someone regardless of sexual properties is simply amazing - take online romances for example. I am infatuated with someone over the Internet. I have never met them, until recently had never seen them, and yet I still find myself able to love said person.

I understand that people have preferences, yes. But after being with someone for a while and coming to know them as a person, physical features become a lot less prevalant and I reckon even yourself, if you had been with someone for so long as to fall in love with them and suddenly they turned into a talking potplant you'd still love them.

I understand what you're saying and I'm only using the term 'straight' and 'heterosexual' relative to myself. The same thing could apply to a gay couple with two males and one of them change genders or whatever.

But as far as 'preferences' go, sexuality and sex are a big part of relationships to me. It's not about 'YEAH I LOVE FUKKIN' or anything juvenile like that, but physical expression of intimacy has always been a huge part of relationships for me and it never gets old, no matter how long I date someone. It's great sharing that aspect of a relationship, and considering I have passed the 'confused/what sexuality am I?' part of my own worldview, I am confident to say that the above, for me, is exclusive to a woman/female.

I have plenty of loving, fulfilling relationships with both genders, but 'dating' someone is a different animal entirely that brings the sexuality part to the table. Considering how important I place physical intimacy to a female in dating, why am I small minded for being unable to continue dating that person if a BIG CHUNK of that was taken away?

 

[Guest]

;D

 

[Vadon]

I've not much to add, but with the direction the discussion has turned I thought I'd give a little of my input. I think that the concept of being in a relationship with someone and finding out they're a transsexual or identify with a gender you had not known does bring a new element to the person. I think people are being slightly too dismissive of the fact that it does change your perception of the person.

Some have been saying, "If you love them, it doesn't matter." And I can agree with that as far as the physical aspect of the relationship is concerned. One shouldn't fall out of love with someone because they get sick, injured, or change the color of their hair. Loving someone has a lot more to do with loving who they are, not what they are.

That being said, being told your significant other identifies more with a different gender is a change as far as who the person is. It is a new thing you've found out about the person that may influence your entire perspective on the person. If they had deceived you or kept it from you, that's reason to be hesitant on accepting it. If it's an actual change in perception on their end, that is to say that it is a recent shift in self-identification, that is an actual change in the person themself. While you may have certainly loved the person you knew before (or thought you knew), that's not to say you love the person they have become.

 

[Feldschlacht IV]

Well, at least we're on the same page now. To continue the discussion;

i mean yea, it is kind of shitty to love someone and then all of a sudden you won't do anything sexual because they want/had a sex change,

But how would that even work, though? Sex doesn't just spawn from LOVE/GOOD FEELINGS, there has to be physical attraction. If the physical features of one gender turned into another gender (in other words, from a gender I'm attracted to one I'm not attracted to at all), how would sex even work? As inconsequential as physical looks are the longer a relationship goes on, and the deeper the feelings get, when it comes to physical attraction, and yes, sex, there is a consistent thing going on there. I get the 'love conquers all' rhetoric, but why should someone feel emotionally obligated to have sex, kiss, cuddle, etc something that's no longer what he wants?


I mean, gender changes/etc nonwithstanding, people break up all the time. As much as you can love someone, things can just not work out for whatever reason, so 'staying with someone no matter what' seems somewhat unrealistic to me.

That being said, being told your significant other identifies more with a different gender is a change as far as who the person is. It is a new thing you've found out about the person that may influence your entire perspective on the person. If they had deceived you or kept it from you, that's reason to be hesitant on accepting it. If it's an actual change in perception on their end, that is to say that it is a recent shift in self-identification, that is an actual change in the person themself. While you may have certainly loved the person you knew before (or thought you knew), that's not to say you love the person they have become.

Great way of putting it!

 

[High Hopes]

Well, at least we're on the same page now. To continue the discussion;

i mean yea, it is kind of shitty to love someone and then all of a sudden you won't do anything sexual because they want/had a sex change,

But how would that even work, though? Sex doesn't just spawn from LOVE/GOOD FEELINGS, there has to be physical attraction. If the physical features of one gender turned into another gender (in other words, from a gender I'm attracted to one I'm not attracted to at all), how would sex even work? As inconsequential as physical looks are the longer a relationship goes on, and the deeper the feelings get, when it comes to physical attraction, and yes, sex, there is a consistent thing going on there. I get the 'love conquers all' rhetoric, but why should someone feel emotionally obligated to have sex, kiss, cuddle, etc something that's no longer what he wants?

I agree with the above statement. I have noticed that people have certain qualities and values embedded deep within their psyche that will affect things in a relationship in this manner. It's not often something that can be controlled except by people with a vast amount of self control. Physical attraction is one of these qualities. That is normally not something one can control, and trying to force yourself to feel physically attracted is not going to work and may even strain the relationship.