Genesis Saga
- Thread starter G-man
- Start date
Terru16389
Member
I told you we should've gone for regular RTP or something similar, G-Man...
>_>
>_>
Firestalker5
Member
Hey, G-man your PM box is full...
Well I'm still working on my game, but I'm also working on something welse outside RMXP. I would love to join your team.
What exactly were you thinking in the lines of [plot, sidequests, NPC dialogues?]? Like I said, I would love to help you out. Let me know.
~Firestalker
G-Man said:
Well I'm still working on my game, but I'm also working on something welse outside RMXP. I would love to join your team.
What exactly were you thinking in the lines of [plot, sidequests, NPC dialogues?]? Like I said, I would love to help you out. Let me know.
~Firestalker
Thanks and welcome to the team, pming you with instructions
Hey people, just a draft I put together, seriously you'd think someone else wrote this give it a read will ya?
Sad huh?
Hey people, just a draft I put together, seriously you'd think someone else wrote this give it a read will ya?
The beautiful gold sun reflected off the gleaming metal as Lynn Grayson approached the Hot dog vendor, it had been a hot day, and not only was he tired, he was hungry as well. The vendor looked up from his magazine he was reading and nodded his head at the kid indicating for him to continue.
"Can I get two hot dogs, with relish and ketchup?" The vendor nodded his head once again and opened his steaming hot grill, Lynn's smelling sense went off the wall, the delicious aura of the meat was almost too much to bear.
"12.80." The vendor grunted as he reached over the counter to grab the money from Lynn, he then handed Lynn his treasure, wrapped in a small paper towel.
"Thanks." Lynn searched for a nice seating place and found one close to a river about thirty feet from the vendor. He sat down and for the first time that day, relaxed. He had worked hard that day, digging for those damn diamonds, what made them so valuable that 12 year olds were put to work, digging for them anyway? Lost in thought he did not notice the sky darken abit, when he looked up it seemed as if it might rain.
"Dammit, and I'm just getting comfortable." He rose up from his temprorary haven and started walking down the sun riddled sidewalk, he got about 10 feet past the vendor when he heard a scream. He turned quickly splattering ketchup on his shirt, what he saw made him wish he never turned around, it was in the sky.....with tentacles black as the night, and it's eyes, it's deadly eyes, had a lust for blood. He didn't hear the frenzy going on around him as people rushed away running somewhere, but yet nowhere, the thing seemed to beckon to him, calling him, suddenly a bright beam plunged toward the ground, Lynn gasped as he saw the target was an innocent girl. He rushed towards her, throwing off his work gear as he ran, making his own custom trail, he reached her in time to push her away just as the beam connected, he had never felt such pain, it felt as if he was being pulled inside out, and to his despair, his last sight in his blurry vision was the beam exploding through the small child-
-Chance city, one of the four cities that disappeared.....
"Can I get two hot dogs, with relish and ketchup?" The vendor nodded his head once again and opened his steaming hot grill, Lynn's smelling sense went off the wall, the delicious aura of the meat was almost too much to bear.
"12.80." The vendor grunted as he reached over the counter to grab the money from Lynn, he then handed Lynn his treasure, wrapped in a small paper towel.
"Thanks." Lynn searched for a nice seating place and found one close to a river about thirty feet from the vendor. He sat down and for the first time that day, relaxed. He had worked hard that day, digging for those damn diamonds, what made them so valuable that 12 year olds were put to work, digging for them anyway? Lost in thought he did not notice the sky darken abit, when he looked up it seemed as if it might rain.
"Dammit, and I'm just getting comfortable." He rose up from his temprorary haven and started walking down the sun riddled sidewalk, he got about 10 feet past the vendor when he heard a scream. He turned quickly splattering ketchup on his shirt, what he saw made him wish he never turned around, it was in the sky.....with tentacles black as the night, and it's eyes, it's deadly eyes, had a lust for blood. He didn't hear the frenzy going on around him as people rushed away running somewhere, but yet nowhere, the thing seemed to beckon to him, calling him, suddenly a bright beam plunged toward the ground, Lynn gasped as he saw the target was an innocent girl. He rushed towards her, throwing off his work gear as he ran, making his own custom trail, he reached her in time to push her away just as the beam connected, he had never felt such pain, it felt as if he was being pulled inside out, and to his despair, his last sight in his blurry vision was the beam exploding through the small child-
-Chance city, one of the four cities that disappeared.....
hmm,,,
I think it would be alot better without the speaking parts. Also i think [Bear] should be [Bare]
Needs some of the description taking out I think. A little to aimed. I think the story is more like a hero story, not a epic.
I could well be wrong, Im interested to see what other people think :D
its better then what you had before :D
I think it would be alot better without the speaking parts. Also i think [Bear] should be [Bare]
Needs some of the description taking out I think. A little to aimed. I think the story is more like a hero story, not a epic.
I could well be wrong, Im interested to see what other people think :D
its better then what you had before :D