Dreamland
- Thread starter Dreamland
- Start date
Downloading now. I'll reply with my thoughts (hopefully good ones)
EDIT:
@_@@_@ LUMINIERS IN THIS GAME!!!!! @_@@_@
EDIT2: I dont know if that was the end or not, but I hd met Jon and I couldnt do anything else.
Well, certainly the best game by an 11 year old there may EVER be, however...
Your mapping is pretty decent in the interiors, but in the forest and town, there are too many mess-ups. The trees are cut-off a lot, first of all.
Your dialogue needs some serious help. You make quite a bit of mispellings.
When riding the dragon, Elvander's head is cut off >_<
When you fight the thieves, you can't see a battler for Elvander.
Other than that, it certainly was charming and interesting. It just needs some touch-ups.
EDIT:
@_@@_@ LUMINIERS IN THIS GAME!!!!! @_@@_@
EDIT2: I dont know if that was the end or not, but I hd met Jon and I couldnt do anything else.
Well, certainly the best game by an 11 year old there may EVER be, however...
Your mapping is pretty decent in the interiors, but in the forest and town, there are too many mess-ups. The trees are cut-off a lot, first of all.
Your dialogue needs some serious help. You make quite a bit of mispellings.
When riding the dragon, Elvander's head is cut off >_<
When you fight the thieves, you can't see a battler for Elvander.
Other than that, it certainly was charming and interesting. It just needs some touch-ups.
Well, it's not terrible. Nope, it's not terrible, but, it's not all that great.
I wasn't able to get very far, actually. When Elvander's mother told me to go to bed, I went to Elvander's room, but I couldn't figure out how to go to sleep. It doesn't matter, though. There's plenty of stuff I can tell you to work on, just from what I played.
First of all, the intro is bad. I'm sorry, it just is. You should think about doing something better, like maybe some dialogue on a black background, about the mythos of the magical jewels(it's on old standby.). Just a thought. Plus, you don't really need to tell people how to play an RMXP game, when the controls are all default. Most people that will download your game, will already know how to play. Unless you plan on giving this to your friends, or something.
Uh, the way you did side doors was... creative. It's a little disorienting to be teleported, though. There are some tutorials on this site that should aid you in making better side doors.
Also, there's really no need to teleport you, after Elvander's mother tells you to get the cookbook.
There are some errors with switches, or something. First of all, why did all of the NPCs disappear once I got the cookbook from Janet? But once I went back in Elvander's house, they all came back. O_O Speaking of the cookbook, for some reason, I had to go get the cookbook twice! What I mean is, that once I did the event where I got the book, I brought it back to Elvander's mom, but it didn't trigger anything, so I went back, and got the book, again, and it worked. You need to fix that. You would do well to make the cookbook an item, actually. O_O
After dark, I had to hear Elvander say that it was getting late, twice, for some strange reason. Also, I didn't actually get the 'soggy root'. I just picked the 'sweetdrop', and the event where Elvander finds the jewel triggered.
It seems that you have some trouble with switches.
Onto some other errors...
You would do well to edit some elf ears onto those sprites. Since they are supposed to be elves, right? Pointy ears would be a good way to differentiate the elves from the humans.
Speaking of sprites, in the case of Elvander... Well, I can't tell exactly, but I think that the sprite sways a bit when walking. Like certain frames are off center. You might want to fix that.
One last thing...
Is this really an homage to me?! Awwwwww. Thank you so much. ;_; I'm so happy.
I wasn't able to get very far, actually. When Elvander's mother told me to go to bed, I went to Elvander's room, but I couldn't figure out how to go to sleep. It doesn't matter, though. There's plenty of stuff I can tell you to work on, just from what I played.
First of all, the intro is bad. I'm sorry, it just is. You should think about doing something better, like maybe some dialogue on a black background, about the mythos of the magical jewels(it's on old standby.). Just a thought. Plus, you don't really need to tell people how to play an RMXP game, when the controls are all default. Most people that will download your game, will already know how to play. Unless you plan on giving this to your friends, or something.
Uh, the way you did side doors was... creative. It's a little disorienting to be teleported, though. There are some tutorials on this site that should aid you in making better side doors.
Also, there's really no need to teleport you, after Elvander's mother tells you to get the cookbook.
There are some errors with switches, or something. First of all, why did all of the NPCs disappear once I got the cookbook from Janet? But once I went back in Elvander's house, they all came back. O_O Speaking of the cookbook, for some reason, I had to go get the cookbook twice! What I mean is, that once I did the event where I got the book, I brought it back to Elvander's mom, but it didn't trigger anything, so I went back, and got the book, again, and it worked. You need to fix that. You would do well to make the cookbook an item, actually. O_O
After dark, I had to hear Elvander say that it was getting late, twice, for some strange reason. Also, I didn't actually get the 'soggy root'. I just picked the 'sweetdrop', and the event where Elvander finds the jewel triggered.
It seems that you have some trouble with switches.
Onto some other errors...
http://i100.photobucket.com/albums/m17/Super_Mog/Dreamlanderrors.jpg[/img]
You should set the wall tiles to unpassable.
You should set the wall tiles to unpassable.
http://i100.photobucket.com/albums/m17/Super_Mog/Dreamlandmapperror.jpg[/img]
You have a cut off tree, and a piece of shadow out in the middle of nowhere. O_O
You have a cut off tree, and a piece of shadow out in the middle of nowhere. O_O
http://i100.photobucket.com/albums/m17/Super_Mog/Dreamlanddialogueerror.jpg[/img]
I have no idea what this man is trying to say.
I have no idea what this man is trying to say.
http://i100.photobucket.com/albums/m17/Super_Mog/MoreDreamlanderrors.jpg[/img]
That tree really shouldn't be against the fence like that...
That tree really shouldn't be against the fence like that...
You would do well to edit some elf ears onto those sprites. Since they are supposed to be elves, right? Pointy ears would be a good way to differentiate the elves from the humans.
Speaking of sprites, in the case of Elvander... Well, I can't tell exactly, but I think that the sprite sways a bit when walking. Like certain frames are off center. You might want to fix that.
One last thing...
http://i100.photobucket.com/albums/m17/Super_Mog/Dreamlandhomagetome.jpg[/img]
In the game dialogue, Luminier, in the game dialogue.
I definitely see lots of room for improvement, but you really should keep working on this, it's a good job you've done so far. Quite some mapping errors that can be fixed easily, some mistakes with events (in the forest there's a chest you can open multiple times and still get the items). Somehow I also got two pink crystals in my inventory, because I entered the pond map twice, and the rock fell in two times. I'm suspecting you're using "erase event" commands, which isn't necessarily bad, but they respawn on re-entry. Turning on a self-switch might work better.
Also! The teleporting events are only one one tile, which is always the road tile. You'd also do best to copy these a few tiles up and down, so that the player shouldn't walk around the edge to find the place where he'll move to the next map. If I bump into the side and I don't move, I think that that's not the way to go. Just a minor thing, but it would make it easier for the player.
I definitely see lots of room for improvement, but you really should keep working on this, it's a good job you've done so far. Quite some mapping errors that can be fixed easily, some mistakes with events (in the forest there's a chest you can open multiple times and still get the items). Somehow I also got two pink crystals in my inventory, because I entered the pond map twice, and the rock fell in two times. I'm suspecting you're using "erase event" commands, which isn't necessarily bad, but they respawn on re-entry. Turning on a self-switch might work better.
Also! The teleporting events are only one one tile, which is always the road tile. You'd also do best to copy these a few tiles up and down, so that the player shouldn't walk around the edge to find the place where he'll move to the next map. If I bump into the side and I don't move, I think that that's not the way to go. Just a minor thing, but it would make it easier for the player.
Hooray! 
The demo's here.
I took a look over it and did a bit of 'constructive criticism', if you don't mind:
I noticed a transition after the lady gave me the cookbook, are you using switches or conditional branches?
When you go into the event for your signs, theres an option called Directional Fix. It'll stop your signs from magically changing into Fish Stores :P
http://i19.photobucket.com/albums/b179/-Zach-/signs.png[/img]
I noticed that a bunch of stuff changed when I grabbed that pink jewel.
Unless the stone changes a place's appearance, this probably isn't a good idea >.<
I noticed a couple of mapping areas, I didn't notice a lot, but these are the ones I played.
The first one, a lot of trees don't have stumps or pieces of the tree are missing.
A good way to fix this is to place the stumps on the 2nd layer and the rest of the tree on the 3rd layer, this way you can add more trees in.
The second one, I noticed there were trees hidden and then not hidden through the grass :O
I'm not sure if it's supposed to be like that, but my guess is you have the priority of the grass at 5? Maybe...
As for the 3rd one, same thing as the first, a couple of tree pieces missing, nothing too too major.
[spoiler="Look at me, Elvander!" :D]http://i19.photobucket.com/albums/b179/-Zach-/8looktherightway.png[/img][/spoiler]
I noticed that Elvander didn't face the white mage when she talked to her, I don't know if there was a reason for this or not, but meh. ;D Nothing too major.
This also caught my attention when I headed south after talking to the white mage. The coin chest was closed and I was able to obtain yet another 50 coins...>_> Don't take that out :P XD jk. Unless you're offering an infinite amount of coins, this isn't a good idea.
Those are the things I noticed, just fix those up and this game will be amazing! I LOVE the story by the way, yeah, a little cliché, but hey - you're telling it right Can't wait for the full version, hoped this helped.
-Yivyn
The demo's here.I took a look over it and did a bit of 'constructive criticism', if you don't mind:
http://i19.photobucket.com/albums/b179/-Zach-/1-noswtiches.png[/img]
http://i19.photobucket.com/albums/b179/-Zach-/3-directionalfix.png[/img]
http://i19.photobucket.com/albums/b179/-Zach-/signs.png[/img]
http://i19.photobucket.com/albums/b179/-Zach-/4-missing.png[/img]
Unless the stone changes a place's appearance, this probably isn't a good idea >.<
http://i19.photobucket.com/albums/b179/-Zach-/5mappingerrors.png[/img]
http://i19.photobucket.com/albums/b179/-Zach-/6me2.png[/img]
http://i19.photobucket.com/albums/b179/-Zach-/7me3.png[/img]
http://i19.photobucket.com/albums/b179/-Zach-/6me2.png[/img]
http://i19.photobucket.com/albums/b179/-Zach-/7me3.png[/img]
The first one, a lot of trees don't have stumps or pieces of the tree are missing.
A good way to fix this is to place the stumps on the 2nd layer and the rest of the tree on the 3rd layer, this way you can add more trees in.
The second one, I noticed there were trees hidden and then not hidden through the grass :O
I'm not sure if it's supposed to be like that, but my guess is you have the priority of the grass at 5? Maybe...
As for the 3rd one, same thing as the first, a couple of tree pieces missing, nothing too too major.
[spoiler="Look at me, Elvander!" :D]http://i19.photobucket.com/albums/b179/-Zach-/8looktherightway.png[/img][/spoiler]
I noticed that Elvander didn't face the white mage when she talked to her, I don't know if there was a reason for this or not, but meh. ;D Nothing too major.
http://i19.photobucket.com/albums/b179/-Zach-/9whitemagemorecoins.png[/img]
Those are the things I noticed, just fix those up and this game will be amazing! I LOVE the story by the way, yeah, a little cliché, but hey - you're telling it right
Can't wait for the full version, hoped this helped. -Yivyn
You need to utilize switches more. I noticed in the editable that you have multiple maps for the same room, instead of just turning on self-switches. Like after you talk to your mum, you teleport to the same room in a different map, instead of just making her have a self-switch turn on.
I see what shes' been doing.
Instead of using switches, she copies the maps and re-uses them with the new information. There's like 5 copies of the village, one during night, one when your going to the ladies house for the cookbook, one for collecting the root...and so on. This leads to errors that switches dont make.
Instead of using switches, she copies the maps and re-uses them with the new information. There's like 5 copies of the village, one during night, one when your going to the ladies house for the cookbook, one for collecting the root...and so on. This leads to errors that switches dont make.
Crystalgate
Member
The story is interesting enough so that I want to know what happens next. The characters are also easy to like. Good job on those parts. There are problems, but others have already pointed them out so I won't do that. Keep practicing with the RPG maker.