Celestias Ferrum
- Thread starter monkeydlu
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Fireworksinc
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Ok - I'm prepared for flaming but I think all game makers should be prepared for constructive criticism.
Well, the intro was tedious with all the meaningless 'Mystical 'Who Am I?'' crap, and the music was mediocre. The way the game started so slowly made me want to quit before it begun, and when the grammar and spelling (and over-use of punctuation) mistakes came in I was physically battling with myself not to press the little red cross in the corner. I understand English isn't your first language, but I really woudn't recommend releasing a game without mending those first. I admit the illustrations were good, though a bit graphic so I'd recommend putting an age warning on the game. Also, the way he talks to himself makes me see the main character a bit of a loser. Not sure whether this is what you want the character to be seen as or not. One thing I love is the menu and shop system, which looks like you put a lot of time into making (unless you didn't make it, in which case I take back my praise and give it to the script maker). The way Miho walks into you when you join the party is kind of odd, but a good reason for why she doesn't show up on map none-the-less. You make the RTP more appealing with the colour tones and fogs used, which I compliment you for. The life size charset on the world map does not look good and the clash of the world map and the RTP is very noticable. Several map glitches are unimpressive, and some of the mapping in general does not look very realistic (such as street lamps being repeated every square or so, and making barrels block paths makes it very clear to the reader you just couldn't be bothered to create the map supposed to go there. Something a little more realistic such as guards would be better), but I like the way civilians say different things when you talk to them more than once, but it's disappointing to have them then repeat the new message to you. It's weird the way I break into some woman's house and she isn't shocked but complains to me about her family like an old friend.
I met several dead ends in the town, and just got bored and decided to quit.
Hope you take what you need from this.
Well, the intro was tedious with all the meaningless 'Mystical 'Who Am I?'' crap, and the music was mediocre. The way the game started so slowly made me want to quit before it begun, and when the grammar and spelling (and over-use of punctuation) mistakes came in I was physically battling with myself not to press the little red cross in the corner. I understand English isn't your first language, but I really woudn't recommend releasing a game without mending those first. I admit the illustrations were good, though a bit graphic so I'd recommend putting an age warning on the game. Also, the way he talks to himself makes me see the main character a bit of a loser. Not sure whether this is what you want the character to be seen as or not. One thing I love is the menu and shop system, which looks like you put a lot of time into making (unless you didn't make it, in which case I take back my praise and give it to the script maker). The way Miho walks into you when you join the party is kind of odd, but a good reason for why she doesn't show up on map none-the-less. You make the RTP more appealing with the colour tones and fogs used, which I compliment you for. The life size charset on the world map does not look good and the clash of the world map and the RTP is very noticable. Several map glitches are unimpressive, and some of the mapping in general does not look very realistic (such as street lamps being repeated every square or so, and making barrels block paths makes it very clear to the reader you just couldn't be bothered to create the map supposed to go there. Something a little more realistic such as guards would be better), but I like the way civilians say different things when you talk to them more than once, but it's disappointing to have them then repeat the new message to you. It's weird the way I break into some woman's house and she isn't shocked but complains to me about her family like an old friend.
I met several dead ends in the town, and just got bored and decided to quit.
Hope you take what you need from this.
it's ok, I do like these.
yeah, I've disscussed the intro before, and the conclusion came to be that I jsut dindt have any experience with game theory >_>
I want to change it, I'm still making plans on directing a new intro movie, but I don't exactly know how yet.
My English is still bad, but idk, most people say they're there, but it hasn't been totally unbearable, if it really made things THAT bad, idk, I really don't think it does, plus I play the whole thing repeatedly and I don't really see any at all anymore, it might be becuase of my dialect, in which case you'll just have to accept it as a style or artistic freedom.
The illustrations were ripped, just in case I know gamers don't read the credits, lol.
also, I'm pretty glad you got that kind of a vibe from the main character, my initial designs for him were someone who was firm, but lacked confidence in what he was about, at the same time a brilliant scientist, natural talent plus alot of inner issues, It's kinda rare that the main character has the most issues in rpgs, but thats what I wanted to go for.
plus, he's not ignorant, so it might be a bit unorthodox but oh well, I carried it out either way.
the menu is a broken up one I found on 66rpg by nankongx and the shop menu is by MogHunter. I had to get people to fix that menu >_> but the design of the menu was by me. the credits list goes into more detail.
Compliments for the maps will go to Sithlord who made them :D
The barrels were a last min thing >_> yeah, that was mb, lol. but the lamps I would think should be repeated every square, at least when I look down my lane theres one by the telephone pole in front of each house :P
As for the visit the house and the people in there will talk to you like friends thing, read this, lol, can't be bothered breaking tradition XD
I'm pretty sure most rpgs do the same thing I do with npcs, that is when you talk to them they have 2 lines, and repeat the second one, but if you leave, come back, they say the first one again etc etc.
anyways, bartenders will always have alot to say :P
as for the dead ends, idk why people always have trouble with this x.x if you go into the item shop and speak to the guy selling items, ie, the guy thats wearing priest robes, the story'll move on and in about another 10 mins of cut scenes the credits roll, lol. (this is of course all after having gone through the forest like the story had said for you to do, but I couldn't really gather if you had even realized that as you never mentioned battle systems at all.)
anyways, if you really didn't get the fact you were supposed to go to the forest from the intro and everything that happened, shame on you for not having paid any attention, lol. It shouldn't have been hard to go through.
yeah, I've disscussed the intro before, and the conclusion came to be that I jsut dindt have any experience with game theory >_>
I want to change it, I'm still making plans on directing a new intro movie, but I don't exactly know how yet.
My English is still bad, but idk, most people say they're there, but it hasn't been totally unbearable, if it really made things THAT bad, idk, I really don't think it does, plus I play the whole thing repeatedly and I don't really see any at all anymore, it might be becuase of my dialect, in which case you'll just have to accept it as a style or artistic freedom.
The illustrations were ripped, just in case I know gamers don't read the credits, lol.
also, I'm pretty glad you got that kind of a vibe from the main character, my initial designs for him were someone who was firm, but lacked confidence in what he was about, at the same time a brilliant scientist, natural talent plus alot of inner issues, It's kinda rare that the main character has the most issues in rpgs, but thats what I wanted to go for.
plus, he's not ignorant, so it might be a bit unorthodox but oh well, I carried it out either way.
the menu is a broken up one I found on 66rpg by nankongx and the shop menu is by MogHunter. I had to get people to fix that menu >_> but the design of the menu was by me. the credits list goes into more detail.
Compliments for the maps will go to Sithlord who made them :D
The barrels were a last min thing >_> yeah, that was mb, lol. but the lamps I would think should be repeated every square, at least when I look down my lane theres one by the telephone pole in front of each house :P
As for the visit the house and the people in there will talk to you like friends thing, read this, lol, can't be bothered breaking tradition XD
I'm pretty sure most rpgs do the same thing I do with npcs, that is when you talk to them they have 2 lines, and repeat the second one, but if you leave, come back, they say the first one again etc etc.
anyways, bartenders will always have alot to say :P
as for the dead ends, idk why people always have trouble with this x.x if you go into the item shop and speak to the guy selling items, ie, the guy thats wearing priest robes, the story'll move on and in about another 10 mins of cut scenes the credits roll, lol. (this is of course all after having gone through the forest like the story had said for you to do, but I couldn't really gather if you had even realized that as you never mentioned battle systems at all.)
anyways, if you really didn't get the fact you were supposed to go to the forest from the intro and everything that happened, shame on you for not having paid any attention, lol. It shouldn't have been hard to go through.
despite the fact I'm lazy as hell these days, I've still managed to get some news XD
For entering her contest, sapphirez made this great piece of Miho!!! :D
it seems the only girl thats getting any love right now is miho, lol, she's my favorite character too of course :3
though, I think Fukai is just as cool XD
anyways, if I get the time, I'll draw something of Fukai and Sakuran, becuase they're just too lonely :P
anyways, here it is:
http://i180.photobucket.com/albums/x268 ... phirez.jpg[/img]
she has a real sad look in her eyes, sapphires is really good, gyaaa, she's so cute XD
For entering her contest, sapphirez made this great piece of Miho!!! :D
it seems the only girl thats getting any love right now is miho, lol, she's my favorite character too of course :3
though, I think Fukai is just as cool XD
anyways, if I get the time, I'll draw something of Fukai and Sakuran, becuase they're just too lonely :P
anyways, here it is:
http://i180.photobucket.com/albums/x268 ... phirez.jpg[/img]
she has a real sad look in her eyes, sapphires is really good, gyaaa, she's so cute XD
I've been meaning to play this for a while because it looked so promising.
Unfortunately, I was thoroughly underwhelmed. Yes, the anime-style intro is well-done, but there are two things I feel need be mentioned:
1) A mature content warning! I was rather surprised to see at least two nude shots, and there might have been more that I missed.
2) I can't stress this enough: PICK AN OBSCURE SONG. You don't, don't, don't use another anime's opening song for your intro. Right away I was comparing it to .hack, and as soon as I made that connection, I realized that a lot of the game seems inspired by it. If you're going to use a ripped song, use one that few people will recognize.
Now, I hate to say this since it seems such an integral part of your project, but I hate the art style. It's mostly the faces that bothered me. The faces are ugly as sin. Please give us an option to put a paper bag over Miho's head. Also, I'd like to say that I am a fan of the anime style, so it's not like I'm ripping on you because I don't like anime.
As has been mentioned many times before, the spelling and grammar are horrible. Please have someone proofread your dialogue before you release it to the general public. Some of them were just inexcusable: "save pont?" "an candle?"
I have to admit I couldn't get any further than where you had to find the doctor. I had no idea where I was supposed to go and after searching for about 20 minutes, I stopped caring and gave up.
However, not everything about the game was bad. The eventing was impressive and the mapping was passable. The menus are all very impressive and the battles are pretty fun, despite being ludicrously hard.
All in all, this shows promise, but it's badly in need of some revision.
Unfortunately, I was thoroughly underwhelmed. Yes, the anime-style intro is well-done, but there are two things I feel need be mentioned:
1) A mature content warning! I was rather surprised to see at least two nude shots, and there might have been more that I missed.
2) I can't stress this enough: PICK AN OBSCURE SONG. You don't, don't, don't use another anime's opening song for your intro. Right away I was comparing it to .hack, and as soon as I made that connection, I realized that a lot of the game seems inspired by it. If you're going to use a ripped song, use one that few people will recognize.
Now, I hate to say this since it seems such an integral part of your project, but I hate the art style. It's mostly the faces that bothered me. The faces are ugly as sin. Please give us an option to put a paper bag over Miho's head. Also, I'd like to say that I am a fan of the anime style, so it's not like I'm ripping on you because I don't like anime.
As has been mentioned many times before, the spelling and grammar are horrible. Please have someone proofread your dialogue before you release it to the general public. Some of them were just inexcusable: "save pont?" "an candle?"
I have to admit I couldn't get any further than where you had to find the doctor. I had no idea where I was supposed to go and after searching for about 20 minutes, I stopped caring and gave up.
However, not everything about the game was bad. The eventing was impressive and the mapping was passable. The menus are all very impressive and the battles are pretty fun, despite being ludicrously hard.
All in all, this shows promise, but it's badly in need of some revision.
ah, the doctor was that hard to find.... I'll add in the message for it, the doctor = the owner of the item shop.
anyways, thanks for playing, I'll keep working on the grammar and spelling, thanks for pointing those two out though, much appreciated.
the art I can't really change... I'm using rips to begin with >_>
theres was only two... but it wasn't really anything serious, I don't think it was terrible.
as for the song, I honestly didn't even know what the song was a intro for, too young but I really didn't care that much back then, I never watched hack, so theres no inspiration from there at all. (Not really a hack fan period... the only thing I have to do with it is reading the novels a bit and the twilight bracelet manga)
idk though, becuase at the time, I heard the song on my radio (xm) and just kinda got inspired by it, so yeah, from then it just built up till I decided to make a intro like that, I might remake it one day or might not x.x
thanks for playing though, hope it gets better, though the anime I really can't change... x.x it's just a problem of style at that point.
edit-
anyways, it's four points from what I can gather, the nudity, the intro song, the grammer, and the art style...
I'm going to add a rated OT to the front of the game for the next update, I really should since it's supposed to be a dating styled jrpg anyways, the intro song, yeah, I thought about it alot, becuase after I made it, I was shown the .hack intro and I had some immediate regret, but it does take a while... so maybe in the future, the grammar, for sure, I'm going to have to find a seriously reliable editor, and the art style, can't do anything x.x.
anyways, thanks for playing, I'll keep working on the grammar and spelling, thanks for pointing those two out though, much appreciated.
the art I can't really change... I'm using rips to begin with >_>
theres was only two... but it wasn't really anything serious, I don't think it was terrible.
as for the song, I honestly didn't even know what the song was a intro for, too young but I really didn't care that much back then, I never watched hack, so theres no inspiration from there at all. (Not really a hack fan period... the only thing I have to do with it is reading the novels a bit and the twilight bracelet manga)
idk though, becuase at the time, I heard the song on my radio (xm) and just kinda got inspired by it, so yeah, from then it just built up till I decided to make a intro like that, I might remake it one day or might not x.x
thanks for playing though, hope it gets better, though the anime I really can't change... x.x it's just a problem of style at that point.
edit-
anyways, it's four points from what I can gather, the nudity, the intro song, the grammer, and the art style...
I'm going to add a rated OT to the front of the game for the next update, I really should since it's supposed to be a dating styled jrpg anyways, the intro song, yeah, I thought about it alot, becuase after I made it, I was shown the .hack intro and I had some immediate regret, but it does take a while... so maybe in the future, the grammar, for sure, I'm going to have to find a seriously reliable editor, and the art style, can't do anything x.x.
Sailerius":1y8o102g said:
I very much argee on #1 that Monkey really should put in like Loli/Kidish Nude WARNING since I am sicken by it. As for #2 there is nothing wrong with using a an Anime Intro Song that many people will recongnize. Usually I go with the best lyrics and song that goes with the game reguardless of where it comes from.
now people start complaining D:
hm... well, I'll do it regardless, but when I first made the intro, I posted and talked about the small bits of nudity alot on all my threads, which was completely passive, and everyone said it was fine, it wasn't anything bad at all >_>
it's not graphical, and it's not anything sick, bathing scenes happen all the time in shows and movies, but I'll get to it x.x
hm... well, I'll do it regardless, but when I first made the intro, I posted and talked about the small bits of nudity alot on all my threads, which was completely passive, and everyone said it was fine, it wasn't anything bad at all >_>
it's not graphical, and it's not anything sick, bathing scenes happen all the time in shows and movies, but I'll get to it x.x
monkeydlu":1uk74a19 said:
There is nothing against any rules stating that any game can't have nudity, in fact most mature games outside the kiddy world of most nintendo games have bits of nudity. It isn't that big of a deal, it's a part of growing up, if you can't stand to see it, you will never grow up until you can handle it.
Yes he should put a warning, but he said he already mentioned it was in the game, that should be enough warning to you that "ohshit" there is gonna be some nude scenes or even adult humor/scenarios/innuendos/etc.
All i think you need to do is put up a well seen warning on the topic post and leave it at that, it is the user who should be aware of what they are getting by downloading the game. Not you, as a creator, you shouldn't have to worry about that since you stated it exists.
Anonymous
Guest
Running commentary from when I started to when I died. It's a little harsh but pretty much all jokey. You've probably had the spelling errors pointed out already.
I liked this. The intro was something I havn't seen done in an rm* game and there seems to be a miko waiting for me at some point in the future.
That said, it had a lot of little things pulling it down. The spelling mistakes are an obvious one, you may want to have a beta tester for the next chapter (or at least a beta reader of dialouge). As I said in that walloftext, Miho's fading in all the time annoyed me a tad but that's a matter of opionion really. I think you hit the ellipsis a tad too hard, it loses effect if people...talk...like this...all the time... It's realistic but it doesn't work well in fiction.
Having so many things interactive was excellent. I was so HAPPY about being able to collect bananas. I still think you missed a prime pantsu joke opportunity with the washing line, though.
I didn't actually notice the nudity. Is this referring to the images in the intro (I don't count those since you don't see anything really) or is this game a LOT more interesting than I thought?
<Wumpi> There are a BUTTLOAD of dots
<Wumpi> Silly Avion, ellipsis is three dots!
<Wumpi> Also you talk too slow
<Wumpi> And um... apparently you have like an evil twin
<Wumpi> Or a clone
<Wumpi> Or a metaphor or something
<Wumpi> Who also talks too slow
<Wumpi> I'm a little disappointed because the intro was really cool
<Wumpi> I'm not big on japanese songs, but it was well executed
<Wumpi> Reminded me of the arelier iris intros
<Wumpi> Man now I want to play iris
<Wumpi> Oh well, I'll just keep playing this
<Wumpi> 'What is the truth YOUR looking for'
<Wumpi> I'm pretty sure that should be 'you're'
<Wumpi> idk it's too early for grammar
<Wumpi> A thought - you're using one of the advanced message systems, right?
<Wumpi> Maybe use actual pauses instead of too much ellipsis
<Wumpi> Waitwhat the clone is his father
<Wumpi> Or something?
<Wumpi> Man when do I get to see the miko in the intro
<Wumpi> I want the miko now >O
<Wumpi> So now he's looking at some kid who jacked his hairstyle
<Wumpi> I'll assume that's him as a kid
<Wumpi> His daddy looks like a girl
<Wumpi> I bet he got teased a lot as a kid
<Wumpi> Got 'yo daddy' jokes instead of yo momma ones
<Wumpi> That's in really poor taste, actually
<Wumpi> Since he's dead and all
<Wumpi> I apologise
<Wumpi> Oh good, this bit seems to be trailing off
<Wumpi> TIME FOR MIKOS!
<Wumpi> Man ??? you're bad at ellipsis
<Wumpi> That was like 70 dots
<Wumpi> you only need three
<Wumpi> you're being so wasteful!
<Wumpi> There's starving little kids in africa and you're throwing away perfectly good dots!
<Wumpi> That ain't no miko! >O
<Wumpi> The name's pretty close, though
<Wumpi> And I suppose a maid will do
<Wumpi> for now
<Wumpi> I don't get the typewriter thing with the chapter 1 screen. Is it just a cool effect or does it have some DEEP MEANING
<Wumpi> Hey, she floated in.
<Wumpi> That's a cool effect the first time I meet her, I hope it doesn't happen every time I talk
<Wumpi> aflksl she's doing the fading in thing again
<Wumpi> But I'll be nice to her for now, she is a maid after all
<Wumpi> That's a few steps down from a miko
<Wumpi> But it's still up there
<Wumpi> And she's making him talk faster
<Wumpi> Avion is SWEET AS A PEACH so he doesn't mind all the extra sugar :3
<Wumpi> Man if you think he doesn't look well maybe you should STOP GIVING HIM CAVATIES
<Wumpi> That said, I don't really care about Avion's dental hygene
<Wumpi> So she can make it if she likes
<Wumpi> But she didn't want to
<Wumpi> Is she's worried about his health and thinks sweets will make it worse why'd she add all that sugar in the first place
<Wumpi> I think she just messed up and added too much sugar and was trying to make me think it was intentional
<Wumpi> Clumsy maids are cute, though, so I'll let her off
<Wumpi> HEY MAN FREE BOTTLES
<Wumpi> This is cool
<Wumpi> And free bananas!
<Wumpi> Thoguh those are the potatoyest bananas I've ever seen
<Wumpi> Like banoffe
<Wumpi> but potato instead of toffee
<Wumpi> banatos
<Wumpi> Oh man, I can examine like everything
<Wumpi> Avion looks at everything in the house because he has a very short attention span
<Wumpi> And because I want the free stuff
<Wumpi> Man, miho can cook charms
<Wumpi> badass
<Wumpi> 'there high insight' in the book
<Wumpi> 'Their', maybe?
<Wumpi> 'there hands full'
<Wumpi> Again, 'thier'
<Wumpi> *'their'
<Wumpi> Man I spelled a correction wrong I suck
<Wumpi> 'beyond out imaginations'
<Wumpi> 'our'?
<Wumpi> 'too an minimum'
<Wumpi> 'to a minimum'
<Wumpi> 'luxory'
<Wumpi> 'luxury'
<Wumpi> 'they're tyranical rule'
<Wumpi> 'their tyrannical rule'
<Wumpi> There's a slight messup with the code in that book, too
<Wumpi> /name[Source of magicians
<Wumpi> I think you just missed a ] on the end
<Wumpi> On the last page
<Wumpi> The sign outside Avion's house
<Wumpi> It's called 'sigh'
<Wumpi> Either that's a typo or Avion is disappointed by signs
<Wumpi> I like the second one
<Wumpi> I am disappointed by the washing line
<Wumpi> With everything being interactive, I was expecting a comment about Miho's underwear
<Wumpi> And I get squat!
<Wumpi> But now i'm armd with 15 bottles of water and 11 bananas
<Wumpi> Nothing can stop me!
<Wumpi> *armed
<Wumpi> I'm raiding the area for items
<Wumpi> Man I found a healcharm and a magicharm!
<Wumpi> I have a confession
<Wumpi> While Avion was spazzing and chasing shiny things
<Wumpi> I forgot what I'm supposed to be doing
<Wumpi> Oops
<Wumpi> I sortof remember something about a forest
<Wumpi> The worldmap's a pain in the butt I never thought to press the button on the edge of the map
<Wumpi> God, she's fading again
<Wumpi> Stop doing that, Miho!
<Wumpi> Why are you fading in when you could be cooking healing items
<Wumpi> Tch, women
<Wumpi> Man, she's so happy about the possiblility on monsters escaping the barrier
<Wumpi> Man, those tracks don't come from or go to anywhere
<Wumpi> They're just like tracks in the middle of nowhere
<Wumpi> Aww, she's all worried
<Wumpi> I don't blame her, I'd say being ripped apart by a doggy is a lot more dangerous to your health than a lot of sugar
<Wumpi> Wolves collect cards?
<Wumpi> Oh wait, it's covered in the tutorial
<Wumpi> cool
<Wumpi> The cards system is pretty neat
<Wumpi> Funky, even
<Wumpi> At the 'hey you died' screen you can bring up the menu
<Wumpi> I don't have a revival item on me right now, I'm not sure what would happen. I kinda want to try.
<Wumpi> (I swear I didn't find this out after dying for the 4th time)
<Wumpi> Man I'm bored of dying I'll play more later.
<Wumpi> Silly Avion, ellipsis is three dots!
<Wumpi> Also you talk too slow
<Wumpi> And um... apparently you have like an evil twin
<Wumpi> Or a clone
<Wumpi> Or a metaphor or something
<Wumpi> Who also talks too slow
<Wumpi> I'm a little disappointed because the intro was really cool
<Wumpi> I'm not big on japanese songs, but it was well executed
<Wumpi> Reminded me of the arelier iris intros
<Wumpi> Man now I want to play iris
<Wumpi> Oh well, I'll just keep playing this
<Wumpi> 'What is the truth YOUR looking for'
<Wumpi> I'm pretty sure that should be 'you're'
<Wumpi> idk it's too early for grammar
<Wumpi> A thought - you're using one of the advanced message systems, right?
<Wumpi> Maybe use actual pauses instead of too much ellipsis
<Wumpi> Waitwhat the clone is his father
<Wumpi> Or something?
<Wumpi> Man when do I get to see the miko in the intro
<Wumpi> I want the miko now >O
<Wumpi> So now he's looking at some kid who jacked his hairstyle
<Wumpi> I'll assume that's him as a kid
<Wumpi> His daddy looks like a girl
<Wumpi> I bet he got teased a lot as a kid
<Wumpi> Got 'yo daddy' jokes instead of yo momma ones
<Wumpi> That's in really poor taste, actually
<Wumpi> Since he's dead and all
<Wumpi> I apologise
<Wumpi> Oh good, this bit seems to be trailing off
<Wumpi> TIME FOR MIKOS!
<Wumpi> Man ??? you're bad at ellipsis
<Wumpi> That was like 70 dots
<Wumpi> you only need three
<Wumpi> you're being so wasteful!
<Wumpi> There's starving little kids in africa and you're throwing away perfectly good dots!
<Wumpi> That ain't no miko! >O
<Wumpi> The name's pretty close, though
<Wumpi> And I suppose a maid will do
<Wumpi> for now
<Wumpi> I don't get the typewriter thing with the chapter 1 screen. Is it just a cool effect or does it have some DEEP MEANING
<Wumpi> Hey, she floated in.
<Wumpi> That's a cool effect the first time I meet her, I hope it doesn't happen every time I talk
<Wumpi> aflksl she's doing the fading in thing again
<Wumpi> But I'll be nice to her for now, she is a maid after all
<Wumpi> That's a few steps down from a miko
<Wumpi> But it's still up there
<Wumpi> And she's making him talk faster
<Wumpi> Avion is SWEET AS A PEACH so he doesn't mind all the extra sugar :3
<Wumpi> Man if you think he doesn't look well maybe you should STOP GIVING HIM CAVATIES
<Wumpi> That said, I don't really care about Avion's dental hygene
<Wumpi> So she can make it if she likes
<Wumpi> But she didn't want to
<Wumpi> Is she's worried about his health and thinks sweets will make it worse why'd she add all that sugar in the first place
<Wumpi> I think she just messed up and added too much sugar and was trying to make me think it was intentional
<Wumpi> Clumsy maids are cute, though, so I'll let her off
<Wumpi> HEY MAN FREE BOTTLES
<Wumpi> This is cool
<Wumpi> And free bananas!
<Wumpi> Thoguh those are the potatoyest bananas I've ever seen
<Wumpi> Like banoffe
<Wumpi> but potato instead of toffee
<Wumpi> banatos
<Wumpi> Oh man, I can examine like everything
<Wumpi> Avion looks at everything in the house because he has a very short attention span
<Wumpi> And because I want the free stuff
<Wumpi> Man, miho can cook charms
<Wumpi> badass
<Wumpi> 'there high insight' in the book
<Wumpi> 'Their', maybe?
<Wumpi> 'there hands full'
<Wumpi> Again, 'thier'
<Wumpi> *'their'
<Wumpi> Man I spelled a correction wrong I suck
<Wumpi> 'beyond out imaginations'
<Wumpi> 'our'?
<Wumpi> 'too an minimum'
<Wumpi> 'to a minimum'
<Wumpi> 'luxory'
<Wumpi> 'luxury'
<Wumpi> 'they're tyranical rule'
<Wumpi> 'their tyrannical rule'
<Wumpi> There's a slight messup with the code in that book, too
<Wumpi> /name[Source of magicians
<Wumpi> I think you just missed a ] on the end
<Wumpi> On the last page
<Wumpi> The sign outside Avion's house
<Wumpi> It's called 'sigh'
<Wumpi> Either that's a typo or Avion is disappointed by signs
<Wumpi> I like the second one
<Wumpi> I am disappointed by the washing line
<Wumpi> With everything being interactive, I was expecting a comment about Miho's underwear
<Wumpi> And I get squat!
<Wumpi> But now i'm armd with 15 bottles of water and 11 bananas
<Wumpi> Nothing can stop me!
<Wumpi> *armed
<Wumpi> I'm raiding the area for items
<Wumpi> Man I found a healcharm and a magicharm!
<Wumpi> I have a confession
<Wumpi> While Avion was spazzing and chasing shiny things
<Wumpi> I forgot what I'm supposed to be doing
<Wumpi> Oops
<Wumpi> I sortof remember something about a forest
<Wumpi> The worldmap's a pain in the butt I never thought to press the button on the edge of the map
<Wumpi> God, she's fading again
<Wumpi> Stop doing that, Miho!
<Wumpi> Why are you fading in when you could be cooking healing items
<Wumpi> Tch, women
<Wumpi> Man, she's so happy about the possiblility on monsters escaping the barrier
<Wumpi> Man, those tracks don't come from or go to anywhere
<Wumpi> They're just like tracks in the middle of nowhere
<Wumpi> Aww, she's all worried
<Wumpi> I don't blame her, I'd say being ripped apart by a doggy is a lot more dangerous to your health than a lot of sugar
<Wumpi> Wolves collect cards?
<Wumpi> Oh wait, it's covered in the tutorial
<Wumpi> cool
<Wumpi> The cards system is pretty neat
<Wumpi> Funky, even
<Wumpi> At the 'hey you died' screen you can bring up the menu
<Wumpi> I don't have a revival item on me right now, I'm not sure what would happen. I kinda want to try.
<Wumpi> (I swear I didn't find this out after dying for the 4th time)
<Wumpi> Man I'm bored of dying I'll play more later.
I liked this. The intro was something I havn't seen done in an rm* game and there seems to be a miko waiting for me at some point in the future.
That said, it had a lot of little things pulling it down. The spelling mistakes are an obvious one, you may want to have a beta tester for the next chapter (or at least a beta reader of dialouge). As I said in that walloftext, Miho's fading in all the time annoyed me a tad but that's a matter of opionion really. I think you hit the ellipsis a tad too hard, it loses effect if people...talk...like this...all the time... It's realistic but it doesn't work well in fiction.
Having so many things interactive was excellent. I was so HAPPY about being able to collect bananas. I still think you missed a prime pantsu joke opportunity with the washing line, though.
I didn't actually notice the nudity. Is this referring to the images in the intro (I don't count those since you don't see anything really) or is this game a LOT more interesting than I thought?
The battle and menu systems along with the intro captivated me into downloading the game, but honestly, the language , the wording and fluency, and mapping don't compare. You have the intro down, with the whole movie type thing to get the player into the game, but once I was actually playing, I found the mapping to be somewhat simple and the talking rather boring. The story is alright with me, but the only things bringing you down are the mapping, the text, and in some places the eventing ability. =/
I think you should take some time to re-consider the talking and perhaps make it a bit more thoughtful and interesting, and while at it start adding details to the mapping. I'm not saying that I can map amazingly or make that type of language, but constructive criticism is always good. The mapping is ok but not excellent (Maybe it just feels that way because I've been playing Reives game for too long >).
I can't stop watching your freaking intro, nice use of Silly Go Round.
I think you should take some time to re-consider the talking and perhaps make it a bit more thoughtful and interesting, and while at it start adding details to the mapping. I'm not saying that I can map amazingly or make that type of language, but constructive criticism is always good. The mapping is ok but not excellent (Maybe it just feels that way because I've been playing Reives game for too long >).
I can't stop watching your freaking intro, nice use of Silly Go Round.
Anonymous
Guest
Nevermind, I found the nudity BD
The intro froze on it for like 2 minutes it was the best timing for a freeze. Boobies, kickass.
The intro froze on it for like 2 minutes it was the best timing for a freeze. Boobies, kickass.
lol, idk if I should be happy or sad....
nah, I'm pretty happy.
thanks Axe, it's only 2 pictures in the animated intro, nothing in the demo yet, but yeah, I'll add a little warning to the download area and then see if I can't make a "rated OT" splash screen.
And Wumpi you just literally made my day XD lmao.
yeah, I need to work on my delivery technique, I've been thinking hard about writing up a new in game intro as the current one is very slow and can be dull... or at least to me, who's watched it 600 times it can be pretty dull >_>
thanks for the spelling mistakes, I'll get those as well XD and I'm really surprised you actually bothered with reading the research paper O_O
that was a deleted scene I had long ago, it was supposed to be like a slide show movie kind of thing, but I just thought I might as well put it in there for fun, lol.
it's pretty old, and theres a good chance I might just be scrapping that whole thing as it's too cliche.
sorry about the difficulty though, I just implemented a heal at lvl up script for the next update, so things should be alot easier, still, you were armed with bananas XD just use those to heal yourself outside of battle. (the well turns the bottles into water :P)
If I'm ever bored I'll definetly see to making a add on to match that joke XD
as for the nudity, yeah, they were talking about the ones in the intro... and I don't plan on throwing away my pride and work by making this into one of those kinds of games, lol
thanks Tenken for the compliments, as for the language, well, if it helps, english is my second language... nah, it dosn't help, I don't like using that excuse, I'll have to find someone to help me check the whole thing >_> I'm going to post up a recruitment thread in a sec.
the fluncy, idk, it was just my style, I'll have to work on it, probably play some other games to teach myself better, I should get back to Quintessence >_> need to beat it :\
as for the maps, I like them X.x besides, I suck at mapping, the majority of them were made by Sithlord999, I think he's very good and reliable, probably to used to quintessence, lol.
My language, if you can feel it, will be different than what some are going to be used to, that'll have to be under either artistic expression or just my dialect, I have a weird one x.x not accent, no accent, just a weird dialect >_>
as for the eventing, I'm not great at it, but other than my spriting, eventing's pretty much my only strong suit, lol.
I evented allot of little custom systems, along with the intro and title/gameover screens, but I'll have to keep improving x.x
and thanks for liking the intro, I enjoyed making it XD (I'm trying to make a new one for a sister project, but I seemed to forgot that it takes a while and I'm just lazy in the summer, watching code geass btw, epic.)
nah, I'm pretty happy.
thanks Axe, it's only 2 pictures in the animated intro, nothing in the demo yet, but yeah, I'll add a little warning to the download area and then see if I can't make a "rated OT" splash screen.
And Wumpi you just literally made my day XD lmao.
yeah, I need to work on my delivery technique, I've been thinking hard about writing up a new in game intro as the current one is very slow and can be dull... or at least to me, who's watched it 600 times it can be pretty dull >_>
thanks for the spelling mistakes, I'll get those as well XD and I'm really surprised you actually bothered with reading the research paper O_O
that was a deleted scene I had long ago, it was supposed to be like a slide show movie kind of thing, but I just thought I might as well put it in there for fun, lol.
it's pretty old, and theres a good chance I might just be scrapping that whole thing as it's too cliche.
sorry about the difficulty though, I just implemented a heal at lvl up script for the next update, so things should be alot easier, still, you were armed with bananas XD just use those to heal yourself outside of battle. (the well turns the bottles into water :P)
If I'm ever bored I'll definetly see to making a add on to match that joke XD
as for the nudity, yeah, they were talking about the ones in the intro... and I don't plan on throwing away my pride and work by making this into one of those kinds of games, lol
thanks Tenken for the compliments, as for the language, well, if it helps, english is my second language... nah, it dosn't help, I don't like using that excuse, I'll have to find someone to help me check the whole thing >_> I'm going to post up a recruitment thread in a sec.
the fluncy, idk, it was just my style, I'll have to work on it, probably play some other games to teach myself better, I should get back to Quintessence >_> need to beat it :\
as for the maps, I like them X.x besides, I suck at mapping, the majority of them were made by Sithlord999, I think he's very good and reliable, probably to used to quintessence, lol.
My language, if you can feel it, will be different than what some are going to be used to, that'll have to be under either artistic expression or just my dialect, I have a weird one x.x not accent, no accent, just a weird dialect >_>
as for the eventing, I'm not great at it, but other than my spriting, eventing's pretty much my only strong suit, lol.
I evented allot of little custom systems, along with the intro and title/gameover screens, but I'll have to keep improving x.x
and thanks for liking the intro, I enjoyed making it XD (I'm trying to make a new one for a sister project, but I seemed to forgot that it takes a while and I'm just lazy in the summer, watching code geass btw, epic.)
Oh, I see, I didn't know that English was your 2nd language, but like you said, you can't exactly use it as an excuse.
And now that I looked at the mapping over, I realized that I've been under Quintessence overdose (Reives can map pretty damn good). I understand what you mean by the fluency, but you have to realize that not everyone will understand it in the same way, so you have to be more literal and specific. Maybe get a tester to verify the english words (no not me). And I worded the eventer thing wrong, I meant to say talk about the events in the cutscenes weren't all that great. They were "ok", but could have been performed better.
And now that I looked at the mapping over, I realized that I've been under Quintessence overdose (Reives can map pretty damn good). I understand what you mean by the fluency, but you have to realize that not everyone will understand it in the same way, so you have to be more literal and specific. Maybe get a tester to verify the english words (no not me). And I worded the eventer thing wrong, I meant to say talk about the events in the cutscenes weren't all that great. They were "ok", but could have been performed better.
http://i129.photobucket.com/albums/p240 ... itled2.jpg[/img]
http://i129.photobucket.com/albums/p240 ... titled.jpg[/img]
Happened whn i was pressing S and Enter rapidly
http://i129.photobucket.com/albums/p240 ... titled.jpg[/img]
Happened whn i was pressing S and Enter rapidly
y 65, wrong game :p You have "Celestial Grace", this one is "Celestias Ferrum."
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EDIT: Oh, on a recent playthrough, if you skip the intro movie at the wrong time, sometimes a picture (one of the anime people) will show up for the rest of the game. Might want to fix that, you have to restart to fix that.
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EDIT: Oh, on a recent playthrough, if you skip the intro movie at the wrong time, sometimes a picture (one of the anime people) will show up for the rest of the game. Might want to fix that, you have to restart to fix that.
lmao, he has 11 IE windows XD
thanks Regi, as for the intro, I have no idea why that happens! O_O
I know it happens, cuz I've tested it myself, it's weird, becuase in eventing theory, everything should be fine, but idk, I'm probably overlooking something stupid.
anyways, before I can fix it, I just pray no one botheres trying to skip it, or just skip it at the very begging, lol.
thanks Regi, as for the intro, I have no idea why that happens! O_O
I know it happens, cuz I've tested it myself, it's weird, becuase in eventing theory, everything should be fine, but idk, I'm probably overlooking something stupid.
anyways, before I can fix it, I just pray no one botheres trying to skip it, or just skip it at the very begging, lol.