So, I just added two enemies to the game (the first ones so far), and they took literally 0 events because they are entirely controlled by their own behaviors, up to and including killing players. (I DO have to pass the players to them when a map loads, but I do that along with a bunch of other stuff in a general event that runs when the layout loads. I've had that event from the very start)
Also, it's looking like I'll be able to make this thing a four-player game, using gamepad input. By default, the first two players will be playable via the gamepad AND the keyboard, while the next two MUST be on the gamepad.
The map zoom between players will be incredibly easy to adapt to a four-player setup, and the game itself won't be significantly easier OR more difficult with more players to help.
On top of that, despite adding significantly more content, I'm currently at 9 events, and I see another four events that can be removed entirely, which would cut my total down to 5 events. Those five events would amount to OnLayoutStart, OnLayoutEnd, OnTick, OnMapChange, and OnGameStart. Theoretically, I won't need any more than that for my game.