Bisexual Debate, to celebrate Bisexuality Day

[sixtyandaquarter]

Today is an observance for bisexuality, apparently and is a day for those who are bisexual, or those of us who support sexual freedoms to celebrate the bisexual people or cultures in our lives, or some such

This day is meant to help against the marginalization of bisexuals from both the straight and the gay community - who both have large factions who hate on the bisexuals.  Created by bisexual rights activists from the USA, Wendy Curry of Maine, Michael Page of Florida, and Gigi Raven Wilbur of Texas.

So yay for all you bisexuals!  Keep on keeping on :straightthumb:

Also for the purpose of this thread I wanna hear about bisexuality, dealing with it either as a bisexual yourself, someone who has had bisexual urges, or someone who knows a bisexual in hard times, etc, or your views on bisexuality.

This could almost be in General Discussion which was where I was about to post it- before deciding it will break down into a near Symposium topic.  So let's just give it a push to be straight up Symposium topic (no pun intended :down.  What are your views on bisexuality?  Is it wrong?  Is it simply trendy?  Is it someone just being greedy?  Should people have to pick a damn side of the fence, play on one ball team, don't be a switch hitter?  Is it natural, is it society that defines us to be straight, were the Greeks and Romans who "trained with little boys" almost right?  Was it a case of personal freedom, a revolution - DONT TELL ME WHERE TO STICK IT MAN?! What is bisexuality to you?  Where is it for you?  How is it for you?

Proceed.

 

[Despain]

There's no such thing as bisexuality (well there is, but it's incredibly rare. It's a huge misnomer. Most people who claim to be bisexual are actually pansexual.

To quote myself:

me: most people just SAY that they're bi because it's TRENDY
me: or they say "i love everyone!!" and "i dont see gender" and crap
me: which isnt bisexuality
me: it's pansexuality
me: bisexuality is specifically TWO genders
me: you only like male and female and nothing in between

 

[FlippyD]

Basically what missingno said.

I believe everyone is bisexual, just to varying degrees (there was a scientific study done with hardcore data and theories and all kinds of other goodies, but I can't find it so here's my short-sweet bastardization of it):

- People are mentally and physically either male or female.
- People can be mentally one gender and physically the other.
- The gender makeup of a person's mental and physical states plays a big role in what they're attracted to.
- Regardless of that, given the right circumstances heterosexuals can engage in homosexual activity and homosexuals can engage in heterosexual activity.
- Hetero females are more prone to overt bisexual urges due to being attracted less to physical features and more towards status. Physical men with mental feminine traits would display similar behavior.
- Hetero males are less prone to overt homosexual activity due to infatuation of physical traits and societal pressures (everyone loves lesbians and hates fags.)

Below is my non-scientific evaluation:

Bisexualism nowadays is like ADD, DID or Asperger's syndrome. Everyone says they have it due to having sleight bisexual tendencies that everyone has (though a little more pronounced than others) and use it to look better than everyone else. In reality most bisexuals are lonely horny people who want to fuck something and don't care what it is so long as it isn't another ham and cheese hot pocket from Walgreens.

 

[SephirothSpawn]

What are your views on bisexuality?

It's your life, do what you want to. Be gay, straight, bi whatever. If you aren't something, you really shouldn't bother judging people that are. You can judge the individual, but not that entire group.

Is it wrong?

To some people yes, because of they way they were brought up. Again, I say judge an individual for who they are, not what they are (there is a difference).

Is it simply trendy?

Yes. I don't know how many girls I have seen kiss each other just because they other girls are doing it. Oh well. By young and have fun I guess.

Is it someone just being greedy?

If you like everything, you like everything. Someone will always want more. Straight people want "hotter" versions of the opposite sex, whether they admit it or not. (I sometimes think my girlfriend is greedy because she wants other girls and I can't, but we figured it out.)

Should people have to pick a damn side of the fence, play on one ball team, don't be a switch hitter?

I don't think so. Do whatever you want.

Is it natural, is it society that defines us to be straight, were the Greeks and Romans who "trained with little boys" almost right?

It is natural for everyone to be straight. We were physically made to be straight. But that doesn't mean 2 people of the same sex can share an emotional connection few straight people ever do are doing something wrong. Let them be.

Was it a case of personal freedom, a revolution - DONT TELL ME WHERE TO STICK IT MAN?!

They has been non-straight sexualities forever. Now, the media highlights them. That's all there really is to it. It is more acceptable now, that so many people feel free enough to express how they feel.

What is bisexuality to you?  Where is it for you?  How is it for you?

Being physically or emotionally attracted to members of the both sexes. Both sexes offer 2 different things, emotionally and physically. Some people just like both, and go for it.


My opinion when it comes to sexuality, just mind your own. Most of the people who fear something, they are just insecure with themselves. Doesn't mean if you fear gay you are, just means you aren't secure enough to just be yourself and not worry about everyone else.

ELE <3

 

[Despain]

I believe everyone is bisexual, just to varying degrees

Change that to "pansexual" and I'll agree quote strongly!

But with BIsexuality, there are no varying degrees. It's just male and female, and that's that. There is a spectrum of genders and sexual preferences, and beindg BIsexual limits that to only those two. That's why I so often say that it doesn't exist -- because nearly everybody who isn't faking is probably pansexual.

 

[Venetia]

Des I'd consider myself fully bi, not pan. I like women who are ultra-feminine and men who are extremely masculine. I'm not attracted by effeminate men or masculine women. In fact, I'm turned off. Though I'll admit I really think I'm in the minority in that.

All my life, I've had flings with girls, but I've stuck with men for relationships. Women seem more satisfying sexually (like I've said, probably because they have more "toys" and they themselves own the equipment so they know how to pleasure it), however they're AWFUL relationship-wise. I identify more with men, so it's easier for me to get into relationships with them. And I'm still attracted to them. Big, muscley, and hairy men--just like I want small, curvy, shy, pretty women.

Another large part is the societal taboo. As much as I don't want it to, the opinions of those around me affect me. My being married to a man is no big deal to anyone. If I were in a civil union with a woman, I'd feel ashamed in some settings. And it's really horrible that I would. A woman shouldn't have to feel ashamed because they choose to spend their life with another woman, but society's made it that way. Being in the south, I can only imagine it'd be 10x harder than when I was in California.

Men-with-men are seen as "gross" by nearly everyone even slightly homophobic, and that's a horrible burden for them to bear. Women-with-women share a stranger societal niche: We're either "hot" or "confused". People assume we're floozies and we'll do it with anyone, or that we just need a hot dick between us. I ensure everyone, that's NOT the case.

Bi's share a similar problem: they're seen as "easy" and adulterous. I love my husband, folks. That's not going to change because some chick tries to sling it my way. I have willpower. People don't seem to understand that.

So I hide it. I mean, it's not like I'd go around advertising it anyway, but if a bunch of dudes at my work are checking out some chicks on the internet during a break, I should be able to walk over and fit in, too. But I'm scared they'd get weird about it. I'm worried that the women I work with would be disgusted by me. I worry that the religious guy would make me his "personal case" to save. I worry that the single dudes would start hitting on me, because I might be a good chance at a threesome (ignoring the ring on my finger, of course).

It comes and it goes, too. Sometimes I wonder if I'm attracted to men at all. Others I wonder why I was ever attracted to women. None of it matters much, though, I already come home to someone. But then I sometimes feel like I'm depriving myself of my other needs.

It's rather confusing, and more frustrating than anything. Chicks who say they're "bi" for attention piss me off. They don't know what it's like sitting up at night wishing they could have another go at the same sex, atleast one last time.

Really, like I said before, it all just comes down to a semi-fruitless existence that's full of keeping everything pent inside and confusion.

 

[sixtyandaquarter]

There is a difference people miss between pansexuality and bisexuality.  Just for those who don't know what it is, pansexuality is a love for people.  That is, a genderless aesthetic attraction, romantic love, and/or sexual desire for every possible person.

Bisexuality does however, have degrees - simply because of a "limited" or over "extensive" vocabulary that some have, and the fact that most - even those who claim to be experts in sexuality and grouping - simply don't understand yet.

There are people who fit the bisexuality vernacular because they enjoy the classic "straight woman" and the classic "feminine man" molds - despite that this in some cases is a different mold or "grouping" than bisexuality for some, it doesn't mean it is for everyone.  Things of that nature.

There are people who like really feminine woman, and very masculine men, and don't care too much for the in between, that is a feminine man (regardless of sexual preference) and masculine woman (regardless of sexual preference) would be undesirable.  Etc.

Right now a lot of people break bisexuality up, yet others group it together.  Pansexuality is a love of people despite genders, whereas bisexuality is more a love of people due to genders - that doesn't make much sense, but trust me I'm right even if the wording isn't :X

 

[sixtyandaquarter]

Men-with-men are seen as "gross" by nearly everyone even slightly homophobic, and that's a horrible burden for them to bear. Women-with-women share a stranger societal niche: We're either "hot" or "confused". People assume we're floozies and we'll do it with anyone, or that we just need a hot dick between us. I ensure everyone, that's NOT the case.

The day old fat men stop paying extra tips simply because the two broads are dancing on the pole together, instead of alone, male on male sexuality will be accepted.

Or rather, the day old fat women start paying extra tips for the two hunks dancing on the pole, then male on male sexuality will become accepted.

It's strange, that analogy.  Because men who go to strip clubs are seen as socially acceptable at large - though everyone has their own morale idea on it, no one's raising a flag.  Yet we, as a society, try to ignore the fact that women go to strip clubs with male dancers, but love it when you find a woman who'll go see the chick on the pole with ya.
Well society I mean, personally I don't care for strip clubs they bore me, but universally speaking in the Western World at least.

 

[Despain]

Des I'd consider myself fully bi, not pan. I like women who are ultra-feminine and men who are extremely masculine. I'm not attracted by effeminate men or masculine women. In fact, I'm turned off. Though I'll admit I really think I'm in the minority in that.

Yeah, when I say that it doesn't exist I'm exaggerating to get the point across. True bisexuality is so rare and misunderstood that it's so much easier just to explain it my way to all the idiots out there.

 

[Venetia]

Yeah, that's true. I'm yet to meet someone IRL who's like me. Actually I've met 3 bi's IRL, and they're all girls who like girls and bishies, but not manly men. I wonder what that term would be? Mostly gay? Semiomnisexual? lol

 

[sixtyandaquarter]

There's a term for it, it's less a sexual desire towards gender as it is gender role.

It's like when someone is attracted to "MANLY MEN" and then could fall for a "bulldyke".  It's actually not homosexuality or bisexuality, I just don't remember what it is.  But people will call it either, because you know - limited vocabulary.

 

[FlippyD]

Yeah, like everything I wrote up in my post ~_~;;

People aren't attracted to dicks or chicks, but the way in which the dicks and chicks are presented to them. Should a dick show up in the right atmosphere any man would dive for it.

 

[sixtyandaquarter]

I hear people say "in the right situation everyone'll go for a dick, so everyone's gay inside" a lot

And I don't know why your saying it ixis, but to the majority of people who say that... it's false logic

I can be attracted to a man, sexually.  I won't refuse that.  I have been.  I just happened to think that dude was a chick, because damn - some men look fucking amazing in drag and make up, that's all I'll go with that.  However once I found out, and all that, I could still be aesthetically pleased, but I wasn't physically wanting.  I'm very open about sexuality, but I know what I enjoy and what I like.  And I like certain equipment, and don't find the other one all that appealing.  It's not that I was "homophobic" as some would say, because I'm not, it doesn't bother me.  I just want this, and you can have that.

A trick of sight doesn't prove all men would have a man on man sex act.  It proves that if you doll something up to let them THINK they are looking at a woman, they'll react.

I've heard people say everyone's gay inside because in jail they'd all screw a dude.
That's just pent up frustration.  You can do some dude up the ass, and not be gay.

Not everyone is straight, not everyone is gay, and in situations the rules go out the window in part or in full, yes.
But that's like saying everyone is a cannibal, because we could all eat other people if we crash landed in a deserted moutain region i nthe middle of blizzard.  That doesn't mean we're all cannibals on the inside from day one.

 

[Doctor]

I like straight-acting guys and and anything from feminine girls to tomboy girls. What does that make me?

 

[FlippyD]

I hear people say "in the right situation everyone'll go for a dick, so everyone's gay inside" a lot

And I don't know why your saying it ixis, but to the majority of people who say that... it's false logic

I can be attracted to a man, sexually.  I won't refuse that.  I have been.  I just happened to think that dude was a chick, because damn - some men look fucking amazing in drag and make up, that's all I'll go with that.  However once I found out, and all that, I could still be aesthetically pleased, but I wasn't physically wanting.  I'm very open about sexuality, but I know what I enjoy and what I like.  And I like certain equipment, and don't find the other one all that appealing.  It's not that I was "homophobic" as some would say, because I'm not, it doesn't bother me.  I just want this, and you can have that.

A trick of sight doesn't prove all men would have a man on man sex act.  It proves that if you doll something up to let them THINK they are looking at a woman, they'll react.

I've heard people say everyone's gay inside because in jail they'd all screw a dude.
That's just pent up frustration.  You can do some dude up the ass, and not be gay.

Not everyone is straight, not everyone is gay, and in situations the rules go out the window in part or in full, yes.
But that's like saying everyone is a cannibal, because we could all eat other people if we crash landed in a deserted moutain region i nthe middle of blizzard.  That doesn't mean we're all cannibals on the inside from day one.

I never said it was a "trick of the light." But ignoring the rest of your post the line about cannibalism is false. One does not become a cannibal until one eats another human being, one does not become homosexual by having same-sex intercourse. Everyone does have the potential to become homosexual and a cannibal, but you don't have to wait until your genitalia is touching similar geography to be considered bisexual. It's all that ambiguous, confusing and social-induced shame beforehand that makes you homosexual. That and, playing the Xbox360, I'm told.

Back on topic, I believe it's like the "moral" argument going on here. Just because you haven't been in a situation where such an event can occur does not mean it will never occur. Just because one person hasn't had pre-marital sex does not mean he is moralistically superior. There could be many factors outside of religious obligation keeping that person from committing such an act just as there could be many factors as to why (post derailing for the sake of comedy) won't take the cock from behind.

Granted, that's an extreme example. My point is that sexual preference is determined via the brain, and that there is no absolutes in this regard. Some may like females very much, with a low preference of men, but the possibility is still there. Outside factors, genetic reasons and pituitary/hormonal growth and reactions all have an affect in this regard. And since there's no true black and white as we all seem to agree, the notion of a bisexual day becomes frivolous, and nothing more than an excuse for haughty self-described bisexuals to prance about and discuss how better they are than everybody else because they went down on a drunk bitch one night.

 

[sixtyandaquarter]

Your first paragraph - that was the point.
I was saying that in not so many words, based on the rest of the post itself, to the intended argument.
I also put that important sentence in there ixis, to exclude your words specifically and regard more what your words reminded me off - the idiot saying all jailbirds are fags, etc.  Using a similar wording in their argument as yours.  It's not my intention to say you said it was a trick of light, I was merely reminded of the foolish idea some others use and decided to post based on it preemtively

 

[FlippyD]

Aw man, I was hoping I could make a joke about forcefully showing you unknown homosexual tendencies by raping you. But now that's ruined :/

 

[Grathea]

I can agree with des - in fact, I was about to make the same distinction, but he beat me to it.
Gender and sex are completely different things. While sex is one of a series of concrete options (male, female, intersexed), gender is incredibly fluid.

People aren't attracted to sex (except in some EXTREMELY weird rare cases, but nevermind that), they're attracted to gender.
Anyways, back on topic.
Are 'bisesexuals'(I'm just going to use the phrase so as to remain more on-topic) marginalized from both the gay AND straight communities? Yes. It's undoubtedly true.
Pansexuality, to me, means that I'm not specifically attracted to gender. I'll generally be either attracted to 'male' characteristics/presentations primarily, and 'female' characteristics less so, or 'female' more often than 'male'. It varies, to be honest.

Obviously, a drunk chick at a bar saying she's bi/pan is very different from a chick at say a GSA meeting saying she's bi. Context. I think we all agree on this. I don't, however, agree that everyone is innately bi/pan. Predominantly so, yes, but to varying degrees, and there are some/many people who prefer only their own gender / the 'opposite gender' so strongly that any attraction they MIGHT have to the 'opposite' gender or their own is insignificant by comparison.
Or something like that, anyways.

 

[Tansred]

A very interesting topic, but I don't really have an opinion on bisexuality.
I'm very surprised to see that nobody religious has waltzed in here and made some remark about it being "wrong".
I have a gay brother, so I'm generally not homophobic, but I'm pretty damn straight.

 

[FlippyD]

A very interesting topic, but I don't really have an opinion on bisexuality.
I'm very surprised to see that nobody religious has waltzed in here and made some remark about it being "wrong".
I have a gay brother, so I'm generally not homophobic, but I'm pretty damn straight.

I'm religious, yet I make jokes about raping other men to prove a point.

... Actually, on second thought...