SorcerGamble2
Member
part of me has just fallen in love with your game. sweeeet custom grahpx... i had to wonder if it was even rmxp at first because so seldom do you see other than rtp. lovely.
Whisper of a Rose
- Thread starter Twin Matrix
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dadevvtsvre
Sponsor
The graphics are fantastic. Certainly a lot of time and effort put into those pixels. I especially like your "marionette factory" one-it definitely conveys a sense of horror and fear. (I hope that was what you were hoping for)
However not everything's perfect. Many of the things look flat, such as the trees. (third screenshot, Batch 1) Giving them more depth would aid greatly. Also, the second screenshot, Batch 2 looks...er....well, very bad compared to the other shots. The bricks at the left look very out of place compared to the other areas, and the blue (what is that, anyway?) looks horrendous.
I have to say, the battles definitely look exciting and graphically pleasing (although we know that's not everything) but to give a true examination we need to actually play it, thus I won't give too much thought on it. As previously mentioned the RTP clashes horrible with your tilesets and characters. And I must say, I'm not a big fan of your choice of font. I think you should change it to something just as legible, but nicer to look at.
Now...the story...uh, I'm not sure what to say. You are obviously a very talented artist, but the story seems...pretty sub-par. I'm not liking the "iDream", changing the name would probably be better, although that's not my biggest complaint. The "dreamworld" plot has been used many times before, and it reminds me a lot of "Alice in Wonderland". But the fairy godmother, getting out of a dream...I'm not a big fan. Now, don't get me wrong, this could be a very intriguing story, but right now I don't quite think it matches up to your art.
I think putting more information for your characters could help us to get a better idea of them. Tell us a bit about their personalities, at least. Without good characters, a game will be crappy. What are the character's goals? What are their traits? (and by traits I mean not only physical characteristics, but their past, what they're like now, etc. as well) I love the character art, but the images are sort of scattered around a bit on your post. You should probably fix that up.
Don't get me wrong, this game looks fantastic. But there are just a few things I think you should take a look at first. I really look forward to playing a demo and seeing this. :thumb:
(You should probably specify in your first post however what you mean by "HQ Tilesets". At first I thought you meant Half-Kaizer but now I don't know, and many others are probably confused as well.)
However not everything's perfect. Many of the things look flat, such as the trees. (third screenshot, Batch 1) Giving them more depth would aid greatly. Also, the second screenshot, Batch 2 looks...er....well, very bad compared to the other shots. The bricks at the left look very out of place compared to the other areas, and the blue (what is that, anyway?) looks horrendous.
I have to say, the battles definitely look exciting and graphically pleasing (although we know that's not everything) but to give a true examination we need to actually play it, thus I won't give too much thought on it. As previously mentioned the RTP clashes horrible with your tilesets and characters. And I must say, I'm not a big fan of your choice of font. I think you should change it to something just as legible, but nicer to look at.
Now...the story...uh, I'm not sure what to say. You are obviously a very talented artist, but the story seems...pretty sub-par. I'm not liking the "iDream", changing the name would probably be better, although that's not my biggest complaint. The "dreamworld" plot has been used many times before, and it reminds me a lot of "Alice in Wonderland". But the fairy godmother, getting out of a dream...I'm not a big fan. Now, don't get me wrong, this could be a very intriguing story, but right now I don't quite think it matches up to your art.
I think putting more information for your characters could help us to get a better idea of them. Tell us a bit about their personalities, at least. Without good characters, a game will be crappy. What are the character's goals? What are their traits? (and by traits I mean not only physical characteristics, but their past, what they're like now, etc. as well) I love the character art, but the images are sort of scattered around a bit on your post. You should probably fix that up.
Don't get me wrong, this game looks fantastic. But there are just a few things I think you should take a look at first. I really look forward to playing a demo and seeing this. :thumb:
(You should probably specify in your first post however what you mean by "HQ Tilesets". At first I thought you meant Half-Kaizer but now I don't know, and many others are probably confused as well.)
Twin Matrix
Member
Aw, thanks. ^^ That was the idea. Combining it with a little, eh, "sadisticness", by placing happy signs around the place and the random sounds of a laughing children. I don't know how else to describe it. :s
Hmm, I see your point on the trees. I'll pay more attention to their shading.
It's funny how everyone says that screenshot looks so bad. I like how it looks. :s How could I improve on it? And the blue is a ground texture used in the fitness hall for playing basketball on. I'm not sure what it is, but the fitness hall that I go to has it. It's kind of a rough but not stone texture.
Oooo~ The font. Quite honestly I haven't even thought about the font yet, nor did I really realize it was visible in any screenshot. It's very temporary.
It's nice to hear that the battle system looks good, though I've only posted one and a half screenshots, and one is incredibly outdated.
As for the RTP, you're only referring to the screenshot of the Butterfly Castle with the big butterfly, right? That's the only area where I also feel it clashes a bit with my style.
The reason why I chose "iDream", is because at the moment "i"~something is pretty popular for certain objects iPod, etc. and I wanted to give it that sense of mass production and popularity. It is also quite an accurate description of the object as "I" dreams. =)
Don't forget the Wizard of Oz, by the way. ; ) The dreamworld part of the story is kind of a mash-up of cliché fantasy elements and horror elements, hence certain characters like the Fairy Godmother and the Mighty Wizard. This decision has partly been made with a view on my target audience, which is a fan of these typical fantasy things. Except that I didn't want to create another cookiecutter fantasy RPG, and gave it a modern twist. As far as I know, though, the dreamworld story has not been used in any existing RPGs? Though I hardly know many RPGs, so I'm probably wrong. But the times that I know it has been used, it was in movies or stories.
Most stories can be intriguing when written nicely. I hope I can manage, as it's quite too late for a story change, ha. ^^ But I respect your opinion nonetheless.
Yea, originally the topic wasn't meant for all that stuff as it was for a kind of semi-contest, so I'll have to put that up and fix the story synopsis.
I like your pointers. ^^
Thanks!
@SorcerGamble2: Sank yuu. ^^
I've got to say that this is one of the most graphically gorgeous looking RMXP projects I've seen in a long while. The story seems a little contrived - she's had a bad day and flees into a VR, fine, but it's just how she ends up in there. Her snapping and going nuts seems fine, it's just how far it goes.
The characters do sound interesting from what is given. Sounds like a twisted version of every fairytale ever and the art style sort of fits the whole "fairytale gone bad" angle.
It's original, and carried out superbly in the art department. It just might need an extra something on the story, though.
The characters do sound interesting from what is given. Sounds like a twisted version of every fairytale ever and the art style sort of fits the whole "fairytale gone bad" angle.
It's original, and carried out superbly in the art department. It just might need an extra something on the story, though.
WeAreSuperhero
Sponsor
Marionettes automatically freak me out. You win my vote.
There had better be carnival music involved with this game.
There had better be carnival music involved with this game.
dadevvtsvre
Sponsor
THAT...is a GREAT idea.WeAreSuperhero":1kh9rfsw said:
That would be so awesome, you have no idea.
Twin Matrix
Member
@WeAreSH: Actually, there is. A great composer from NewGrounds composed a "sadistic carnival" music piece for me, which is also Coulroz' theme. =)
@KRoP: Oh, thank you. =) The only issue I see is the RTP and a little lack of contrast on the Valentown trees (which I've fixed now).
@Sol_Fury: Eh, I don't think that she's going -that- far. Like, if she'd go into town to commit suicide. Perhaps that'd be a bit extreme (though imo from her point of view not so much, as there are many people who think like that but have better lives than her). She's pretty strong on her own and isn't afraid to take action, so pointing a gun at a warehouse manager doesn't seem all that too farfetched to me? ^^ Perhaps in-game the transition/motivation is better. Though..perhaps not. I don't want to drag the whole introduction section before she actually enters the dreamworld too long. I think in all, there will be an parents vs Mel scene, a flashback of the ladybug being burned, the kids wrecking her school project and the guys trying to beat her up in the forest. I think any more is too much and I should spend more time on perfecting these existing scenes, than adding new ones.
Any ideas on story improvement that might pop into your head are appreciated. :3
And yea, I like the idea of twisted fairytales too.~~
Thanks!
Edit: I finished all hero skills and animations, and here's a preview!! ^-^
http://www.majhost.com/gallery/starmies ... play01.png[/img]
@KRoP: Oh, thank you. =) The only issue I see is the RTP and a little lack of contrast on the Valentown trees (which I've fixed now).
@Sol_Fury: Eh, I don't think that she's going -that- far. Like, if she'd go into town to commit suicide. Perhaps that'd be a bit extreme (though imo from her point of view not so much, as there are many people who think like that but have better lives than her). She's pretty strong on her own and isn't afraid to take action, so pointing a gun at a warehouse manager doesn't seem all that too farfetched to me? ^^ Perhaps in-game the transition/motivation is better. Though..perhaps not. I don't want to drag the whole introduction section before she actually enters the dreamworld too long. I think in all, there will be an parents vs Mel scene, a flashback of the ladybug being burned, the kids wrecking her school project and the guys trying to beat her up in the forest. I think any more is too much and I should spend more time on perfecting these existing scenes, than adding new ones.
Any ideas on story improvement that might pop into your head are appreciated. :3
And yea, I like the idea of twisted fairytales too.~~
Thanks!
Edit: I finished all hero skills and animations, and here's a preview!! ^-^
http://www.majhost.com/gallery/starmies ... play01.png[/img]
Hey, how's it going. Noticed your looking for Mappers. I happen to be looking for credit. I've got over five years experience with RMXP, and my speciality is mapping and events (some scripting, some graphic design). I also specialize in CMS's, but you probably have that covered. I would be honored to be a mapper on your team, and am willing to submit to any kind of challenge or test you can throw at me. I have pretty much fulltime availability, as I'm just passing time and building a name because my personal project isn't going to be ready for the public till summer of 09. Know I am helping on 3 other projects as support, but will not release or reveal *anything* from your project. If you're interested, feel free to send me an Non-Disclosure-Agreement via PM or at theory@gmx.com . All I ask is credit where credit is due.
Please, I'd really like to help.
Edit: I am also an experienced writer with an English major- would be glad to help you polish a few blurry details there too.
Please, I'd really like to help.
Edit: I am also an experienced writer with an English major- would be glad to help you polish a few blurry details there too.
I can't believe I didn't post at this topic yet.
Looking good. This seems like a really promising project, and I certainly do love the graphics style.
I'm just curious, since many of the screenshots includes a mouse cursor, does the game make use of the mouse in any way?
The story doesn't sounds original, but I'm yet to be proven wrong by the release of this game. It sounds like it can become a really fun game. I like how you've presented the characters, and I just love how one of the antagonists is a sadistic clown :P
Good luck with this! I hope to see something playable soon!
Looking good. This seems like a really promising project, and I certainly do love the graphics style.
I'm just curious, since many of the screenshots includes a mouse cursor, does the game make use of the mouse in any way?
The story doesn't sounds original, but I'm yet to be proven wrong by the release of this game. It sounds like it can become a really fun game. I like how you've presented the characters, and I just love how one of the antagonists is a sadistic clown :P
Good luck with this! I hope to see something playable soon!
Twin Matrix
Member
^
Hi hi. Thanks for your post. ^_^ I'm glad you like the premise.
The demo is coming along GREAT. ^^
New screenie!
http://www.majhost.com/gallery/starmies ... hot043.png[/img]
Lady Anatta's television station.
Hi hi. Thanks for your post. ^_^ I'm glad you like the premise.
The demo is coming along GREAT. ^^
New screenie!
http://www.majhost.com/gallery/starmies ... hot043.png[/img]
Lady Anatta's television station.
Looking good! But there's one thing that caught my eye: the RTP grass and forest autotile clashes a little bit with the rest of the scenery. Perhaps darkening them and adding a darker outline would spice them up to work along? Not sure, not that I'm an artist anyhow.
Keep it up!
Keep it up!
Twin Matrix
Member
^
I really like the way it looks. ^^ But thanks for the tip!
I really like the way it looks. ^^ But thanks for the tip!
Twin Matrix
Member
@Avadan: LOL yes I do, but I did fix up the perspective of the platform on which the lady is sitting.
@Shizu: Oooh I remember! Sorry. X_X I didn't need any music at the time, so I wanted to delay responding until I did, but then I rather forgot. :3 Please PM me some kind of format that I need to fill in for a song (screenshot, song theme, instrumentals, feeling, etc.). And glad you like it. ^__^
@Shizu: Oooh I remember! Sorry. X_X I didn't need any music at the time, so I wanted to delay responding until I did, but then I rather forgot. :3 Please PM me some kind of format that I need to fill in for a song (screenshot, song theme, instrumentals, feeling, etc.). And glad you like it. ^__^
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