united washcloth express
Sponsor
At least it wasn't a Pinto?
The Rant/Advice Thread
- Thread starter StrawberrySmiles
- Start date
Uhg. I feel so... Uhg.
Like... I just wish everything would vanish away into a better time where I don't feel like an incompetent sack of shit.
The only friends I currently have are online friends, and they are awesome and everything, but there is always a hierarchy, and I feel I'm at the bottom. I'm always the one who is bad at everything. When playing games, I'm always the worst at playing. When making games, I never make anything good, I'm always the one that has to wake up at their times or by chance be up when they are or I don't get to speak to them.
This most likely isn't what it is actually like, but it's what I feel like.
I could quite easily curl up in a ball and just lay in my bed for a month, but now I have responsibilities. A job. My dad. My friends. My games*. I feel trapped underneath all the things I need to do and unable to do the things I want to do, and even if I had the time to do them, I wouldn't be able to, cause I apparently can't do anything without giving up.
UHG. Fucking fuck. I hate my life right now. Not to the point where I want to off myself, but to the point where I feel trapped by life. I'm no longer the one controlling it, and the only thing I do have control of is which of the responsibilities gets more of my time, and even then, I can't win. Do I take time off work to go see my dad, or do I neglect seeing my dad to focus on my work and games but how would my friends feel if I didn't speak to them, but I can't take time off seeing my dad just to hang out with my friends, and although I know my friends would be okay if I was spending a lot of time with my dad, they're the only ones keeping me sane right now.
What the fuck do I do?
There's nothing I can do.
I guess I'll just drown in the ever flowing tides of life until my mental raft brakes and I loose the support ropes that are my friends before accidentally cutting them with my emotional breakdown knife.
*This means things like:
Penumbra Hearts and other games that me and Gabriel are working on.
Python/pygame learning/games such as a rogue-like I want to work on and Xile.
Battle for Bolhaste. I don't even know if I will get something viable done in time, but I want to try.
Edit:
I also want to move out of this fucking house oh my god. I've never wanted my own place more than I do now but I have a shitty complex where I must get a [payed] job before I do move out.
I could quite easily get a place now with the council, but I don't want to be one of those people who sponges off the system like that.
I can do it. I can get there. I just need time, however it seems like it's a race between me going insane and me getting the things I need. Currently insanity is winning.
Like... I just wish everything would vanish away into a better time where I don't feel like an incompetent sack of shit.
The only friends I currently have are online friends, and they are awesome and everything, but there is always a hierarchy, and I feel I'm at the bottom. I'm always the one who is bad at everything. When playing games, I'm always the worst at playing. When making games, I never make anything good, I'm always the one that has to wake up at their times or by chance be up when they are or I don't get to speak to them.
This most likely isn't what it is actually like, but it's what I feel like.
I could quite easily curl up in a ball and just lay in my bed for a month, but now I have responsibilities. A job. My dad. My friends. My games*. I feel trapped underneath all the things I need to do and unable to do the things I want to do, and even if I had the time to do them, I wouldn't be able to, cause I apparently can't do anything without giving up.
UHG. Fucking fuck. I hate my life right now. Not to the point where I want to off myself, but to the point where I feel trapped by life. I'm no longer the one controlling it, and the only thing I do have control of is which of the responsibilities gets more of my time, and even then, I can't win. Do I take time off work to go see my dad, or do I neglect seeing my dad to focus on my work and games but how would my friends feel if I didn't speak to them, but I can't take time off seeing my dad just to hang out with my friends, and although I know my friends would be okay if I was spending a lot of time with my dad, they're the only ones keeping me sane right now.
What the fuck do I do?
There's nothing I can do.
I guess I'll just drown in the ever flowing tides of life until my mental raft brakes and I loose the support ropes that are my friends before accidentally cutting them with my emotional breakdown knife.
*This means things like:
Penumbra Hearts and other games that me and Gabriel are working on.
Python/pygame learning/games such as a rogue-like I want to work on and Xile.
Battle for Bolhaste. I don't even know if I will get something viable done in time, but I want to try.
Edit:
I also want to move out of this fucking house oh my god. I've never wanted my own place more than I do now but I have a shitty complex where I must get a [payed] job before I do move out.
I could quite easily get a place now with the council, but I don't want to be one of those people who sponges off the system like that.
I can do it. I can get there. I just need time, however it seems like it's a race between me going insane and me getting the things I need. Currently insanity is winning.
@Potion
It really saddens me to read your story, bro. But it can change! You already made the first step, admit that you currently have a problem that should be solved. (As you repeatedly noticed you're not happy the way things go right now).
This may sound a bit cliche... but it's cliche for a reason: Try to find yourself a suitable hobby ( or two). There's always something for someone. I can't believe you're bad at everything. Even if you don't really feel comfortable around people, you eventually get used to it. If you find yourself a hobby/sport/interest you'll end up speaking en learning people with the mutual interests...
Sometimes it's the best to put aside some things that just cost too many time, or stand between you and a realy goal. Maybe it's not the respond you wished for, but the current situation isn't great either. Do you spend (too) much time on your games perhaps?
No one should want to curl up in a ball for a month, with only responsibilities for others to take care of! I really hope you find yourself a goal to live for man!
It really saddens me to read your story, bro. But it can change! You already made the first step, admit that you currently have a problem that should be solved. (As you repeatedly noticed you're not happy the way things go right now).
This may sound a bit cliche... but it's cliche for a reason: Try to find yourself a suitable hobby ( or two). There's always something for someone. I can't believe you're bad at everything. Even if you don't really feel comfortable around people, you eventually get used to it. If you find yourself a hobby/sport/interest you'll end up speaking en learning people with the mutual interests...
Sometimes it's the best to put aside some things that just cost too many time, or stand between you and a realy goal. Maybe it's not the respond you wished for, but the current situation isn't great either. Do you spend (too) much time on your games perhaps?
No one should want to curl up in a ball for a month, with only responsibilities for others to take care of! I really hope you find yourself a goal to live for man!
Potion: You need a break from your mundane self, no offense intended. You're doing the same old same old and not experiencing anything new which is leading to jadedness (the exact thing holding you back). Try picking up something new; be it a new language, a new hobby, a leisure sport, a new food, whatever you want. Trust me there's NOTHING worse than repetition, and as you've seen yourself: you get consumed by it. Ever thought of taking up skateboarding? snowboarding? skiing? surfing? or the arts like guitar/singing/drawing for the fuck of it/painting/photography? A common error most people make in sports is thinking that people judge. The only people who judge noobs in sports are noobs themselves; veterans realize the importance of encouraging someone partaking in the sport vs. discouraging them through pissing matches.
I seriously recommend snowboarding. The feeling of going downhill at fast speeds is so liberating.. you can't put a price on it (well, you can.. bloody resorts). Just remember that whatever your pursuit.. make it NEW and DON'T catch yourself trying to be a professional (most importantly HAVE FUN).
I seriously recommend snowboarding. The feeling of going downhill at fast speeds is so liberating.. you can't put a price on it (well, you can.. bloody resorts). Just remember that whatever your pursuit.. make it NEW and DON'T catch yourself trying to be a professional (most importantly HAVE FUN).
I actually recently took up basketball, so that's something new... But I don't have much time to do it since I have the other four things to keep track of.Sauk":1jkfb2po said:
It's pretty fun just chilling out, "shooting some hoops." That being said it would be more fun if I had someone else who did it with me but I'm not too fussed, neither am I fussed about being good. I'm actually pretty sure I suck. I can't dribble cause I lack the ability to keep the rhythm of the ball however I can, while dribbling, silently stop which means if I get good at that I can stop and take a shot/pass while my mark still thinks I'm going to continue dribbling.
I also think I could be good at making steals, but those things require other people and I'm not exactly the blooming socialite most others are.
I really enjoy playing but I don't really have much time and so I'll most likely keep that to weekends since when I finish work it's already too dark to play.
I've also got a kinda date thing on Saturday, maybe social interaction will make me feel better.
I am trying new things, just... Maybe not enough...
Just be careful. I was shooting some b-ball outside of school when a couple of guys who were up to no good started making trouble in my neighborhood. I got in one little fight and my mom got scared; she said "You're moving with your auntie and uncle in Bel Air". I whistled for a cab and when it came near the license plate said "F-R-E-S-H" and it had a dice in the mirror. If anything, I'd have said that this cab was rare, but I thought nah, forget it, "Yo Holmes, to Bel Air!". I pulled up to the house about 7 or 8 and I yelled to the cabbie "Yo Holmes, smell you later!". I looked at my kingdom, I was finally there, to sit on my throne as the prince of Bel Air.
noise shaman
Member
Potion":3h5if28w said:
its called growing up, scooter.
in other words, you ain't special. this shit happens to everyone. maybe that will help you deal with it.
No. Actually that's fairly counter-productive advice right there.
"You ain't special" and "This shit happens" isn't advice, more condicenance.
Instead of saying that, how about something along the lines of: "It's something that happens to a lot of people, but they deal with it by doing this" and then you proceed to explain something that helps.
I also disagree with you that it's "growing up." It's a lifestyle choice. Many people are actually able to have flexible times for their work so they can do the things they want.
I was coping relatively well with it, but my dad got in an accident and now I'm spending my time which I previously used to make sure all my needs and wants were seen to and instead am using it to see him and making sure he's okay.
The thing is:
I get off work at 4pm - 4:30pm, and normally get home between 5 - 6pm. I would then use that time to do the things I wanted.
Now, I get off work the same time and then go to see my dad. After that I go home and get back at about 7/8pm which, although doesn't sound bad, when I get back I'm emotionally and physically drained. I go to bed at 10pm so within those two or three hours I have to maintain social connections, code learning, rpgmaking, and leisure time as well as getting my room tidy, making drinks and dinner and preparing for bed.
So sure. Going to work and learning time management are part of growing up, but the type of job and the hours you work are lifestyle choices, and I made the right choices too, except we can't plan for car crashes and strokes can we? Sure, I'm not the only person with a 9 - 4 job who has relatives in hospital, and I'm damn sure I'm not the only one who has crumbled and had a lot of stress due to it. The rant was simply me saying I'm struggling with coping with it.
Noise, you're right. I ain't special. I have to balance normal life with one of the biggest tragedies of my life and I'm godamn crumbling, but hearing "advice" like that doesn't help. It just makes me feel like I should be coping with this better, which makes me feel worse.
tl;dr
No, it didn't help but thanks for trying?
Edit:
Actually, part of that is false. My dad is no longer in hospital. He's back home. Which is more of a worry because I'm pretty sure he shouldn't be. He can barely walk without assistance and needs a lot of assistance with stares. He also happens to live on the top floor flat and so must walk up 2 flights of steps a day just to leave and enter the building. He's only living with my stepmom and her daughter and my stepmom has already exclaimed that she wouldn't be able to help him up the steps, thus we're worried.
I would have said something to the doctors about it except it was fairly sudden and I could see how much he wanted to go home. It's important for his psychological health that he is in an environment where he is comfortable.
It's also harder for us to contact him or get into his house cause they don't have a doorbell.
Anyway. I'll give my keyboard a rest now.
"You ain't special" and "This shit happens" isn't advice, more condicenance.
Instead of saying that, how about something along the lines of: "It's something that happens to a lot of people, but they deal with it by doing this" and then you proceed to explain something that helps.
I also disagree with you that it's "growing up." It's a lifestyle choice. Many people are actually able to have flexible times for their work so they can do the things they want.
I was coping relatively well with it, but my dad got in an accident and now I'm spending my time which I previously used to make sure all my needs and wants were seen to and instead am using it to see him and making sure he's okay.
The thing is:
I get off work at 4pm - 4:30pm, and normally get home between 5 - 6pm. I would then use that time to do the things I wanted.
Now, I get off work the same time and then go to see my dad. After that I go home and get back at about 7/8pm which, although doesn't sound bad, when I get back I'm emotionally and physically drained. I go to bed at 10pm so within those two or three hours I have to maintain social connections, code learning, rpgmaking, and leisure time as well as getting my room tidy, making drinks and dinner and preparing for bed.
So sure. Going to work and learning time management are part of growing up, but the type of job and the hours you work are lifestyle choices, and I made the right choices too, except we can't plan for car crashes and strokes can we? Sure, I'm not the only person with a 9 - 4 job who has relatives in hospital, and I'm damn sure I'm not the only one who has crumbled and had a lot of stress due to it. The rant was simply me saying I'm struggling with coping with it.
Noise, you're right. I ain't special. I have to balance normal life with one of the biggest tragedies of my life and I'm godamn crumbling, but hearing "advice" like that doesn't help. It just makes me feel like I should be coping with this better, which makes me feel worse.
tl;dr
No, it didn't help but thanks for trying?
Edit:
Actually, part of that is false. My dad is no longer in hospital. He's back home. Which is more of a worry because I'm pretty sure he shouldn't be. He can barely walk without assistance and needs a lot of assistance with stares. He also happens to live on the top floor flat and so must walk up 2 flights of steps a day just to leave and enter the building. He's only living with my stepmom and her daughter and my stepmom has already exclaimed that she wouldn't be able to help him up the steps, thus we're worried.
I would have said something to the doctors about it except it was fairly sudden and I could see how much he wanted to go home. It's important for his psychological health that he is in an environment where he is comfortable.
It's also harder for us to contact him or get into his house cause they don't have a doorbell.
Anyway. I'll give my keyboard a rest now.
noise shaman
Member
i thought your kind didn't like that phrase :box:
My kind?noise shaman":3bn3887t said:
Wait what? Gays? Ahaha, I don't care. I'm not one of those flamboyant, over the top, heavy gay rights types and although my being gay wasn't exactly a lifestyle choice for me in the beginning, it is a lifestyle choice for me to continue being gay.
I also believe that being gay or straight isn't a set thing. Humans are ever changing and thus their sexuality might change throughout their life too. I could wake up tomorrow and be straight. Some days I find women attractive and other days I can't view them in that way. Same with men.
I am going to rant here for a second...
Fuck. This. I work my ass off only to get handed garbage, I don't ask for much, but when I do it's always tomorrow. TOMORROW TOMORROW TOMORROW. When will it be today? I have no position or authority to say, "I'm doing it right fucking now, and not a moment later. I'm tired of everyone saying they will when they won't, and then taking up everyone's work on top of it. Fuck that."
I'm in the position to be fucked. Hard. Raw dogged with the 12" Great Green Army Dildo, only because I don't have rank. I don't have a say.
I just want my orders cancelled. It's not fucking hard to do. When you're here, going up the chain means your just about to get beat by it every step of the way. WHY!?
Fuck.
In other news, I don't know what to do anymore. I try my hardest to be something great, and it doesn't matter. I feel my own sense of accomplishment through my own actions, but the place isn't right. I want to be elsewhere, I want to know everywhere. I can't stand sitting here and letting this out while nothing can be done. It's counter-intuitive. It tears at my very nature. I can't abide this. The dude abides, but I don't. I want to be the dude, happy and content, but in his own way. He made his path, he stuck with it and his mannerisms. I can't be that way anymore. I have to be a pushy dick to get what I want, and it isn't going to be pretty.
I love my love, I love the Army and I love the US, but there are some dumb people running the show at my level.
FUCK.
:smoke:
Fuck. This. I work my ass off only to get handed garbage, I don't ask for much, but when I do it's always tomorrow. TOMORROW TOMORROW TOMORROW. When will it be today? I have no position or authority to say, "I'm doing it right fucking now, and not a moment later. I'm tired of everyone saying they will when they won't, and then taking up everyone's work on top of it. Fuck that."
I'm in the position to be fucked. Hard. Raw dogged with the 12" Great Green Army Dildo, only because I don't have rank. I don't have a say.
I just want my orders cancelled. It's not fucking hard to do. When you're here, going up the chain means your just about to get beat by it every step of the way. WHY!?
Fuck.
In other news, I don't know what to do anymore. I try my hardest to be something great, and it doesn't matter. I feel my own sense of accomplishment through my own actions, but the place isn't right. I want to be elsewhere, I want to know everywhere. I can't stand sitting here and letting this out while nothing can be done. It's counter-intuitive. It tears at my very nature. I can't abide this. The dude abides, but I don't. I want to be the dude, happy and content, but in his own way. He made his path, he stuck with it and his mannerisms. I can't be that way anymore. I have to be a pushy dick to get what I want, and it isn't going to be pretty.
I love my love, I love the Army and I love the US, but there are some dumb people running the show at my level.
FUCK.
:smoke:
It's been a while since I felt like this...
Just calm.
I can feel my anxieties and shit whirring in the back of my mind, rusting small bouts of fear in me, but I'm too comfortable to care.
I'm not quite happy... But I'm calm. Tonight has been a strange night.
I couldn't sleep, so I stayed up. Read this really good manga and it rustled up a lot of shit in me.
I dug up some old scars, revisited old memories and put myself through hell.
Thought about self harm more than a few times, but I've never done it, and I don't really intend to. I'm too scared of physical pain.
I can't really remember much from my childhood, and that pisses me off. The only things I remember are really bad things or some stupidly good things. Albeit the bad things count is currently at 2 and the good things count is at 3.
But the bad things are much badder than the good things are good. I'm not sure if my childhood was uneventful, or I've just repressed it but the only things I would repress, I remember.
I've always rationalized these bad things (and any bad things) by saying "I can't change it. It happened" but tonight was the first time I thought "What if they didn't?" I mean, it doesn't really do much to ponder these things, but I did, and for the first time in my life, I hated people for things that happened so long ago that I can't remember them clearly. I try not to blame anyone for anything, ever. Cause things happen, and what use is blame?
I just feel stupid for going along with things and accepting them so quickly. I'm not confrontational and so if bad shit happens, I just go along with it and let it swallow me up.
Ah... Where has my mind gone. I feel like writing a story.
Yeah. This rant is fairly pointless... I just... Don't know if I'm dealing with my life as well as I could be...
Just calm.
I can feel my anxieties and shit whirring in the back of my mind, rusting small bouts of fear in me, but I'm too comfortable to care.
I'm not quite happy... But I'm calm. Tonight has been a strange night.
I couldn't sleep, so I stayed up. Read this really good manga and it rustled up a lot of shit in me.
I dug up some old scars, revisited old memories and put myself through hell.
Thought about self harm more than a few times, but I've never done it, and I don't really intend to. I'm too scared of physical pain.
I can't really remember much from my childhood, and that pisses me off. The only things I remember are really bad things or some stupidly good things. Albeit the bad things count is currently at 2 and the good things count is at 3.
But the bad things are much badder than the good things are good. I'm not sure if my childhood was uneventful, or I've just repressed it but the only things I would repress, I remember.
I've always rationalized these bad things (and any bad things) by saying "I can't change it. It happened" but tonight was the first time I thought "What if they didn't?" I mean, it doesn't really do much to ponder these things, but I did, and for the first time in my life, I hated people for things that happened so long ago that I can't remember them clearly. I try not to blame anyone for anything, ever. Cause things happen, and what use is blame?
I just feel stupid for going along with things and accepting them so quickly. I'm not confrontational and so if bad shit happens, I just go along with it and let it swallow me up.
Ah... Where has my mind gone. I feel like writing a story.
Yeah. This rant is fairly pointless... I just... Don't know if I'm dealing with my life as well as I could be...
Jesus I rant too much but still...
It's really starting to feel like my family show no regards to me.
On sunday I was told I would be going to my sisters for a mothers day meal half an hour before the event.
My sister phoned up my mom and was like
"I'll be there to pick you up in half an hour"
then 5 minutes later phoned back like
"Oh, don't forget to bring Byron."
Really... Really?!?!
And today the moment I got back from work my mother was like "You're cleaning your room today."
A fair request if it were asked. But that's how she speaks to me. "You will clean your room." "Take out the trash." "Make me a coffee."
Never questions.
Today I've worked more hours than I've slept only to come back to nagging mother and sister.
They call me lazy and it really pisses me off because they're calling me it for the wrong reasons.
I get back from work and I want to chill ou- NOPE. THAT'S LAZY.
After a long week I want to spend the weekend to mysel- NOPE. THAT'S LAZY.
In fact. My family consider me lazy for being on the computer...
It's not like I'm not doing anything, but I'm lazy, cause instead of spending my free time mindlessly staring at a screen, watching fictional family argue, and rather spend it socializing via the internet and making games as well as playing them, I'm the lazy one.
Well fuck them. Seriously.
Honestly, I doubt I'll see these guys that much once I get my own place.
It's really starting to feel like my family show no regards to me.
On sunday I was told I would be going to my sisters for a mothers day meal half an hour before the event.
My sister phoned up my mom and was like
"I'll be there to pick you up in half an hour"
then 5 minutes later phoned back like
"Oh, don't forget to bring Byron."
Really... Really?!?!
And today the moment I got back from work my mother was like "You're cleaning your room today."
A fair request if it were asked. But that's how she speaks to me. "You will clean your room." "Take out the trash." "Make me a coffee."
Never questions.
Today I've worked more hours than I've slept only to come back to nagging mother and sister.
They call me lazy and it really pisses me off because they're calling me it for the wrong reasons.
I get back from work and I want to chill ou- NOPE. THAT'S LAZY.
After a long week I want to spend the weekend to mysel- NOPE. THAT'S LAZY.
In fact. My family consider me lazy for being on the computer...
It's not like I'm not doing anything, but I'm lazy, cause instead of spending my free time mindlessly staring at a screen, watching fictional family argue, and rather spend it socializing via the internet and making games as well as playing them, I'm the lazy one.
Well fuck them. Seriously.
Honestly, I doubt I'll see these guys that much once I get my own place.
StrawberrySmiles
Sponsor
I kind of want to "rant" about something. Maybe?
Ever since I was a young girl, I was writing silly stories and drawing stick figures to go with them. I didn't start seriously drawing until I played a Playstation One game called Lunar: Silver Star Story Complete. At this time, I was also reading like everything I could. I did a mix of playing video games (stemming from my father), reading books, drawing, and writing.
I was also quite the tomboy. :O
I remember growing up wanting to write stories and share them with everyone. Draw my characters from such stories, etc. I also remember keeping a plaid notebook full of a database of game ideas -- classes, weapon lists, ability lists, spell lists, monster lists, etc. In fact, each time I created a story, I envisioned what it would be like if it was a game. One time, when creating something with my best friend, I had us stand up and pick out battle poses for our characters.
In middle school, I had invented the ever cheesy "Rainbow Kids" -- a mix of Sailor Moon other superhero stuff. There was a notebook that was shared amongst my friends and I and they'd borrow it to fill out information for their character. Our character profiles had HP and levels as well, and each time they did something "good" I'd level their character up. They were happy about that.
During high school, I hardly paid attention to teachers or the like, and instead started writing a lengthy story with the world and characters created by my friends. Eventually my best friend came to me about a collab, and we scratched that story and made a new one based on it instead (we're still SLOWLY working on that). Fresh out of the high school, I started writing stories of my own -- with the hope of one day getting published.
Those stories never finished (I've never finished one before, in fact).
Today, I tell myself over and over again I want to become a published author and write stories, yet I get stuck and loose motivation. When I want to write something to pass the time, I cannot think of anything. I'm finally making that game... with friends, but my BF hardly wants to work on it. When I try alone, nothing gets done. I still draw, and I still enjoy it. I've improved so much over the years.
I keep asking myself recently: What is it I want to do? Do I REALLY want to become a writer? Or is there something else I want to be?
I have been getting quite... "depressed" about this, especially since I have not been doing anything truly creative and productive. I'm just so bothered by all of this, it kind of drives me nuts.
Ever since I was a young girl, I was writing silly stories and drawing stick figures to go with them. I didn't start seriously drawing until I played a Playstation One game called Lunar: Silver Star Story Complete. At this time, I was also reading like everything I could. I did a mix of playing video games (stemming from my father), reading books, drawing, and writing.
I was also quite the tomboy. :O
I remember growing up wanting to write stories and share them with everyone. Draw my characters from such stories, etc. I also remember keeping a plaid notebook full of a database of game ideas -- classes, weapon lists, ability lists, spell lists, monster lists, etc. In fact, each time I created a story, I envisioned what it would be like if it was a game. One time, when creating something with my best friend, I had us stand up and pick out battle poses for our characters.
In middle school, I had invented the ever cheesy "Rainbow Kids" -- a mix of Sailor Moon other superhero stuff. There was a notebook that was shared amongst my friends and I and they'd borrow it to fill out information for their character. Our character profiles had HP and levels as well, and each time they did something "good" I'd level their character up. They were happy about that.
During high school, I hardly paid attention to teachers or the like, and instead started writing a lengthy story with the world and characters created by my friends. Eventually my best friend came to me about a collab, and we scratched that story and made a new one based on it instead (we're still SLOWLY working on that). Fresh out of the high school, I started writing stories of my own -- with the hope of one day getting published.
Those stories never finished (I've never finished one before, in fact).
Today, I tell myself over and over again I want to become a published author and write stories, yet I get stuck and loose motivation. When I want to write something to pass the time, I cannot think of anything. I'm finally making that game... with friends, but my BF hardly wants to work on it. When I try alone, nothing gets done. I still draw, and I still enjoy it. I've improved so much over the years.
I keep asking myself recently: What is it I want to do? Do I REALLY want to become a writer? Or is there something else I want to be?
I have been getting quite... "depressed" about this, especially since I have not been doing anything truly creative and productive. I'm just so bothered by all of this, it kind of drives me nuts.
united washcloth express
Sponsor
Y'all are bitches