Got another Marines recruiting letter. Kind of put a damper on the mood for me today.
I kind of harbor an irrational dislike of recruiters. From when I was about six, I wanted to enlist. I liked the idea of excitement and the idea of danger never really bothered me, however stupid I may have been. Still doesn't, really. Anyways, honor and chivalry and heroism and shit was all the rage to adolescent me and I was pretty convinced that I was going to go for it. As I grew to know more about the job(s) and perks the military offered, I only wanted it more.
Well, then I turned twelve, got diagnosed with Type I diabetes and fell into a shitty mental and emotional state for five years and the military thing kind of got put in the back of my mind. I didn't know all the implications of having diabetes regarding the military, but at the time it didn't really concern me, partially because of the religious shitstorm I mentioned previously.
So the years passed, I sorted my personal moral issues, and the idea of the armed forces began to appeal to me again. I was nearing the end of my high school road and opportunities for college support were pretty scarce for a mediocre student such as myself. I was seventeen at this point and I had kind of figured out that infantry wasn't going to happen for me on account of my disease. I could live with that; I still had opportunities that didn't require a super good bill of health.
Then the recruiters came. Throughout my junior and senior year, we had quite a few encounters with these guys -- from every branch of service. Navy, Coast Guard, Army, Marines, [to a lesser extent] Air Force -- they all came to have some words with us. Namely, telling us that enlisting was the shit, that college would come easy and we'd get respect and recognition and the bitches (I'm not shitting you on that one). Point is, they had no reservations about telling us it was a reaaaaly good option. At this point, I feel the need to make clear that I know more or less everything coming out of these guys' (and gals') mouths was blatant propaganda and that the reality would never live up.
Knowing that didn't do me much good. I was still really into the whole idea. So when question time came and I asked about my place in the military with a [manageable] disease, I was kind of surprised to get really half-assed answers. It was like they didn't want to answer me outright. So I googled my predicament instead and was met with a really shitty conclusion:
They wouldn't even consider me.
Diabetics don't have a place in the military. Like, at all. Best case scenario for one, I read, was that a person diagnosed after being stationed somewhere might get put at a desk job somewhere if he or she was lucky. More often though, it meant discharge. I never found a different story than that. The only real support I had was from other diabetics who were actively trying to change the system.
So knowing just how shitty my situation was, I pushed the idea out of my mind and tried to just phase it out when the recruiters came again. But I still tended to hear everything about how the army was so fuckin' good and how the marine corps was the tits and everything else. I got super, super resentful -- I felt like I was being mocked for having a genetic disease that I couldn't help. For years, any therapy I got regarding my diabetes told me "Diabetes can't stop you from doing anything!" and all I was thinking now was how much of a heaping load of shit that statement was. To be a major wuss here and be totally honest, it hurt. It hurt really fucking bad.
But at the very least, I got through it. I never snapped at any recruiter and I was usually able to rationalize that these dudes are just doing their job -- it wasn't their fault. Still, I tend to get in a bad mood whenever someone tells me I should enlist. I know I'm being petty and all.
Sorry for that. Needed to get that off my chest. Carry on with your Valentine's Day and have a good one.
