The Cosmic Vending Machine

[Glitchfinder]

All right. Similar to the corrupt a wish game, here you will insert a coin (or anything else, if you must), and the next poster will say what the vending machine puts out. (Or does, since it can do other stuff too) For example:

*inserts solid gold hubcap*

The vending machine gives you a book on prospecting theory, published in 1852.

*inserts an 1843 V nickel*

Anyway, to start it off:

*inserts a coin*

 

[Ellie]

The machine gives you a penis.

*Inserts penis*

 

[Truly else]

The machine gives you a castration

*Inserts an indian man's soul.*

 

[friend]

The machine gives you a nigger

*Inserts your dad*

 

[Venetia]

The machine gives you a niglet.

*inserts a 1973 Buick*

 

[Truly else]

the machine laughs at you and gives you an hubcap.

*Inserts the recently deceased*

 

[bashful crobat]

The machine gives you a disappointing funeral, with an even worse wake (not even room temperature potato salad).

inserts a broken mug

 

[Glitchfinder]

The machine gives you mud pie, with a side of cow pie.

*inserts Up in Blu-Ray*

 

[Venetia]

The machine goes Down on you.
and by that I mean it tips over and falls on you, crushing you.
Then it stands back up.

*inserts Glitchfinder's mashed up corpse*

 

[moxie]

the machine gives you an awkward sense of humor

*inserts a sinister garden gnome*

 

[Velocir_X]

the machine gives you snow white

*inserts a two dollar bill*

 

[Venetia]

the machine gives you bill clinton.

*inserts whale sperm*

 

[Velocir_X]

the machine gives you a sperm whale

*inserts Bill Clinton*

 

[psiclone]

The machine gives you herpes.

*inserts a pair of boxing gloves*

 

[Truly else]

The machine gives you boxing gloves with barbed-wire on the outside.

*Inserts a canadian dollar*

 

[dadevvtsvre]

the machine spits out a loon holding a tim horton's coffee cup.

*inserts antimatter*

 

[Truly else]

the machine explodes.

*inserts machine*

 

[Tindy]

The machine gives you a rocking rendition of Harder Better Faster Stronger.

*inserts myself*

 

[Sgt. Cookie]

The machine short circuits due to a large amount of blood. It is later opened and Tindy's muitilated corpse is removed. The machine is then replaced.

"inserts a runescape player"

 

[Truly else]

the machine is puzzled by the fact you put nothing into it.

*inserts "/0"*