Sira

[Maneo]

Ok, sorry Calibre, that was good advice.
I should have read your post more closely.
I was just overwhelmed by the list you gave me.

Update:
New map, made by Xgamesfreakx.
I paint edited some of the shadows and the sack, otherwise it´s made in rmxp.

Spoiler

http://i261.photobucket.com/albums/ii55/Maneo22/roomWIPbetaver2.jpg[/img]

(those plants will fix themselves in-game. And, the map has been in paint, that´s why it looks so bright)

-First post has been updated. Check it out.

 

[Manetheren]

Hehe, I really enjoy all the fuzz about the game. When I first joined the project I didn't really think it was so much talk about it at all.

Now, I am quite glad to be one of the team-members...

The fact that peaple give advice and share opinion about the game is really cool. Because it can only help the game. Thank you all for that.

The name will grow in, just as Wii and Google has.. Sira is a game, peaple talk about it, it will be realesed, and with some efforts on marketing, I am sure a lot of peaple will play it. I even think the game will be so good, that we can move on to greater hights from there.

Oh yeah!

 

[GreenGreen]

Oh, dear god.
The mapping in this burns my eyes.
But since others have mentioned that, I'll leave that alone. No sense beating a dead horse.
...Unless you're into that sort of thing. Which I'm not.

I'll review the other aspects of this.
http://i261.photobucket.com/albums/ii55 ... /sira7.jpg[/img]
Why is Arshes/Aluxes/whatever the hell his name is looking at his own collapsed body? Is he dead? Is that why the angel is coming? Is the girl a medium? ...Where is the girl, anyways?

So, now onto the story.

War falls upon The kingdom of Rima, where the humans live.
The king calls for Sareo Sazzi, a knight determined to wipe out
any evil that might surface on the planet.

Ah, good. It's a good thing that Sareo is there to protect every single human being on the entire motherfucking planet.

One day, the king calls for Sareo, and tells him that Angel City has been attacked.
Angel City, lies in the south from Rima, and Sareo knows that a direct
conflict with the angels, might cost him his life, since angels bear powers
directly from the heavens.

Oh dear. 'But I'm afraid! Sure, killing demons and single-handedly protecting a city, great! Seeing angels, even though I'm some kind of evil-slaying justicemonger? Eeek! I'm terrified!'

The king sees Sareo´s doubts, and forces him to go to Angel City.

Oh, Sareo works for the king? That ...makes sense. Unexpected.
But still, why would he force Sareo? Is this guy the only person in the world who can swing a sword? What makes Sareo the right choice for this mission?

Sareo, his friend Basil Barett, and Rimea, a sorceress, takes off for
Angel City, that lies in the vicinity of Angel Kingdom, the most
beautiful land in the whole world.

Don't tell me. Sareo and Rimea will fall in love, and Basil is the loveable sidekick. And... Angel Kingdom? You'd think that angels would have more ingenuity. Also, why is it the most beautiful land in the world? Are angels so bored that all the demons are dead that they do gardening and city maintenance 24/7?
...Sounds real terrifying.

On the day there, love blooms between Sareo and Rimea, who has never
seen such a knight before.

Wow. What a surprise.

One night they stop to camp..
Rimea goes to sleep earlier that night.

She goes to sleep before they arrive at the camp area? Oh dear. Wouldn't that be kind of tough?

Thinking she´s in the way, he and Basil leaves her in the tent,
and takes off for an adventure beyond their wildest dreams...

What the hell? How would that make sense? They're in love, and she's a sorceress, which, given the apparent state of the kingdom's military (Sareo and ... well, no-one, apparently) just might come in handy.

What will they face in Angel Kingdom?
Who was it that attacked the angels?

Someone attacked the angels? Did they fight back with their spades and gardening supplies?

Many questions lie ahead.
Sareo will travel through Angel Kingdom, to Great City,
The island of Lantessa, The Fera fields, Rora mountain,
and the Island of Lari, before he ends his journey.

...Why? Why not just go to Angel Kingdom? And what the hell are all these places? Why would he need to go there?

Can you help him find out who did this to the angels?
Are you a knight?

No, I'm not a knight. And why should we try to find out who has done this unknown thing to these angels? And if they're so powerful, why can't they stop it?

Or could the Angel king be behind this..?

A tip? Generally, if there's a surprise twist, don't tell it to us in advance. And why would the Angel king do such a thing? Is he secretly harboring an anti-gardening vendetta?

If so, what could he be planning?

We. Don't. Know. So quit talking about it, and try to redeem this topic in your last few sentences.

Sareo has to find out why the angels was attacked, and fast.
The future of Great Kingdom depends on him.

...Redemption failed.

Also, the wizard king wants to destroy the humans, and seeks to control
all magic spirits in the world.

What? Where the fuck did this come from? Also, giant plot information like this? Not good 'oh, and also...' material.
Kind of strange.
Redemption of this topic is now beyond failure.

Made my day.

 

[dadevvtsvre]

That new map looks MUCH better than before.

 

[Maneo]

RojoBO:

Don´t spam. Add a comment if you quote something, please.

Manetheren is enthusiastic because he believes in this project.
He´s not being arrogant.
And almost everything in that quote, has been removed.

Dadevster:

Thanks. Finally we´re going somewhere.
I´m also pleased with that the first post has been cleaned up.

It seems the mapping gets better if you put some logic and effort into it. 
The maps should also look organized, and resemble a real room etc...
I made sure that it looked like a kitchen.


Xgamesfreakx is making an intro right now, which I hope will be good.
He´s now making the second version of the intro, because of comments that the story
should be better.

 

[miss matcha]

The poster with the moon is quite lovely. 

 

[midir4000]

Are we really going to ignore the caliber of the kitchen map Maneo? I spy with my little eye... map continuity errors! Can you find them?

I've read this entire thread, and there's just so much to say.

First and foremost, and yes, this is a personal attack, Maneo needs to think before he posts. You constantly say you're going to ignore anything you perceive as insulting at face value. You don't seem to read anyone else's posts more than once, which is ridiculous. You respond to every single post that doesn't praise your work with a defensive remark, and the ever childish "No, you're wrong. I'm right. Shut up! Leave me alone!"

You don't take criticism of any kind. I could be wrong here, but... aren't we your target audience? The way you treat some of these posters, albeit some deservedly, is the equivalent to a movie being shown to an audience when the first 3 minutes of B-movie quality that you taped yourself by yourself is shown, then it blows up, they tell you it was horrible because such and such, you say "GTFO! You're wrong. It's going to be awesome in a year, you wait!" You can't just ignore what people say because you don't agree. Do you think everything thats ever been made has been liked by everyone in the first draft? Hell no. The artist (in this case, more or less YOU) has to sacrifice changes to is "art" for the greater good. That being the acceptance of the majority, or atleast your intended demographic.

Oh and Calibre's advice, was nothing less than professional. He didn't personalize it, and he made an excellent general point.

You don't seem to proofread your posts either. Every post of yours has an edited mark at the bottom of it. Every post you make you spread just about every other line out with atleast 1-3 lines of empty space. If english is not your first language, then why are YOU the plot designer and dialogue writer?? In English, you seperate paragraphs with one empty line. Each paragraph should only be seperated when the topic changes a little.

If you're going to fix all your shortcomings by just hiring people to do it for you, you have two options. Oversee the project and take no part, or excel in atleast one field and hire where your no good. From what I've seen, you're not fit for either. You can handle pressure or opinions, and you have no real talent for this sort of thing.

This seems to be your first project, and you're trying to go commecial?????? That's not going to happen. There are tons of games on the net made by these programs since '98 that are millions of times better than this. 2 that come to mind on THIS site, Reives' Quintessence - TBV, and Master of the Wind. Oh and using ANY RTP at all and trying to sell this game for profit is illegal. Those who do sell their games generally have no RTP and their own scripts and everything.

This has been bugging me since the first page.

This is an rpg our team is making, and it´s about the young man Sareo Sazzi, who is drawn into a war with
the angels. Somehow, the angels have grown to hate us.
What can a single man do?

wait for it...

War falls upon The kingdom of Rima, where the humans live.The king calls for Sareo Sazzi, a knight determined to wipe outany evil that might surface on the planet. One day, the king calls for Sareo, and tells him that Angel City has been attacked.Angel City, lies in the south from Rima, and Sareo knows that a directconflict with the angels, might cost him his life, since angels bear powersdirectly from the heavens.

So from this I've gathered the angels have been attacked and we need to go save them? but at the same time I get the vibe that we need to stop the angels?....lets move on

The king sees Sareo´s doubts, and forces him to go to Angel City. Sareo, his friend Basil Barett, and Rimea, a sorceress, takes off forAngel City, that lies in the vicinity of Angel Kingdom, the mostbeautiful land in the whole world. On the day there, love blooms between Sareo and Rimea, who has neverseen such a knight before. One night they stop to camp..Rimea goes to sleep earlier that night.

I'm guessing you meant to say she falls asleep early that night, ie before the others. There's so many grammar errors in this plot. Small differences like what you wrote and what I wrote can mean the difference between confusing and good.

Thinking she´s in the way, he and Basil leaves her in the tent,and takes off for an adventure beyond their wildest dreams...What will they face in Angel Kingdom?Who was it that attacked the angels? Many questions lie ahead.Sareo will travel through Angel Kingdom, to Great City,The island of Lantessa, The Fera fields, Rora mountain,and the Island of Lari, before he ends his journey. Can you help him find out who did this to the angels?Are you a knight? Or could the Angel king be behind this..? If so, what could he be planning? Sareo has to find out why the angels was attacked, and fast.The future of Great Kingdom depends on him. Also, the wizard king wants to destroy the humans, and seeks to controlall magic spirits in the world.

I'm gonna take this all at once. Firstly, it needs rewitten to make better sense. Secondly, it needs rewritten so it doesn't give away the game excpept the ending. You plot synopsis should summarize events leading to the beginning of the game, without giving away all of the plot.

There's so much more to say, but I can't even think about this anymore without pulling out hair.

On a lighter note, the overall plot seems acceptable (maybe because it sounds exactly like millions of other games, including FFs).

 

[miss matcha]

Oh and using ANY RTP at all and trying to sell this game for profit is illegal.

Just thought I'd clarify that: no, it's definitely not illegal.  When you buy rpg maker XP you buy the license to use the RTP, and yes, that includes for commercial games.  It's all there in their legal terms. 

 

[Luminier]

Oh and using ANY RTP at all and trying to sell this game for profit is illegal.

Just thought I'd clarify that: no, it's definitely not illegal.  When you buy rpg maker XP you buy the license to use the RTP, and yes, that includes for commercial games.  It's all there in their legal terms. 

Although using the RTP in game logos, boxart, and such is. (Just thought I'd note that)

 

[xgamexfreakx]

I'll just say this about your post.

Are we really going to ignore the caliber of the kitchen map Maneo? I spy with my little eye... map continuity errors! Can you find them?

I've read this entire thread, and there's just so much to say.

First and foremost, and yes, this is a personal attack, Maneo needs to think before he posts. You constantly say you're going to ignore anything you perceive as insulting at face value. You don't seem to read anyone else's posts more than once, which is ridiculous. You respond to every single post that doesn't praise your work with a defensive remark, and the ever childish "No, you're wrong. I'm right. Shut up! Leave me alone!"

You don't take criticism of any kind. I could be wrong here, but... aren't we your target audience? The way you treat some of these posters, albeit some deservedly, is the equivalent to a movie being shown to an audience when the first 3 minutes of B-movie quality that you taped yourself by yourself is shown, then it blows up, they tell you it was horrible because such and such, you say "GTFO! You're wrong. It's going to be awesome in a year, you wait!" You can't just ignore what people say because you don't agree. Do you think everything thats ever been made has been liked by everyone in the first draft? Hell no. The artist (in this case, more or less YOU) has to sacrifice changes to is "art" for the greater good. That being the acceptance of the majority, or atleast your intended demographic.

Oh and Calibre's advice, was nothing less than professional. He didn't personalize it, and he made an excellent general point.

You don't seem to proofread your posts either. Every post of yours has an edited mark at the bottom of it. Every post you make you spread just about every other line out with atleast 1-3 lines of empty space. If english is not your first language, then why are YOU the plot designer and dialogue writer?? In English, you seperate paragraphs with one empty line. Each paragraph should only be seperated when the topic changes a little.

I have to stop this here for something I need to add...

RojoBO:

Don´t spam. Add a comment if you quote something, please.

Manetheren is enthusiastic because he believes in this project.
He´s not being arrogant.
And almost everything in that quote, has been removed.

Dadevster:

Thanks. Finally we´re going somewhere.
I´m also pleased with that the first post has been cleaned up.

It seems the mapping gets better if you put some logic and effort into it. 
The maps should also look organized, and resemble a real room etc...
I made sure that it looked like a kitchen.


Xgamesfreakx is making an intro right now, which I hope will be good.
He´s now making the second version of the intro, because of comments that the story
should be better.

Now wait a minute...didn't you just say that each line of text is separated by 1-3 lines of space....WTF...interesting. His post looks almost exactly like your post. So what if he entered down after each sentence. I see no error in that. Why don't you go and type in a second language (not Spanish because everyone seems to know how to in that...) but in something like German or Russian and see how accurate you are in that. If you can type perfectly, I'll eat my words, otherwise, you need to back off of Maneo on this...

If you're going to fix all your shortcomings by just hiring people to do it for you, you have two options. Oversee the project and take no part, or excel in atleast one field and hire where your no good. From what I've seen, you're not fit for either. You can handle pressure or opinions, and you have no real talent for this sort of thing.

This seems to be your first project, and you're trying to go commecial?????? That's not going to happen. There are tons of games on the net made by these programs since '98 that are millions of times better than this. 2 that come to mind on THIS site, Reives' Quintessence - TBV, and Master of the Wind. Oh and using ANY RTP at all and trying to sell this game for profit is illegal. Those who do sell their games generally have no RTP and their own scripts and everything.

This has been bugging me since the first page.

War falls upon The kingdom of Rima, where the humans live.The king calls for Sareo Sazzi, a knight determined to wipe outany evil that might surface on the planet. One day, the king calls for Sareo, and tells him that Angel City has been attacked.Angel City, lies in the south from Rima, and Sareo knows that a directconflict with the angels, might cost him his life, since angels bear powersdirectly from the heavens.

So from this I've gathered the angels have been attacked and we need to go save them? but at the same time I get the vibe that we need to stop the angels?....lets move on

The king sees Sareo´s doubts, and forces him to go to Angel City. Sareo, his friend Basil Barett, and Rimea, a sorceress, takes off forAngel City, that lies in the vicinity of Angel Kingdom, the mostbeautiful land in the whole world. On the day there, love blooms between Sareo and Rimea, who has neverseen such a knight before. One night they stop to camp..Rimea goes to sleep earlier that night.

I'm guessing you meant to say she falls asleep early that night, ie before the others. There's so many grammar errors in this plot. Small differences like what you wrote and what I wrote can mean the difference between confusing and good.

Thinking she´s in the way, he and Basil leaves her in the tent,and takes off for an adventure beyond their wildest dreams...What will they face in Angel Kingdom?Who was it that attacked the angels? Many questions lie ahead.Sareo will travel through Angel Kingdom, to Great City,The island of Lantessa, The Fera fields, Rora mountain,and the Island of Lari, before he ends his journey. Can you help him find out who did this to the angels?Are you a knight? Or could the Angel king be behind this..? If so, what could he be planning? Sareo has to find out why the angels was attacked, and fast.The future of Great Kingdom depends on him. Also, the wizard king wants to destroy the humans, and seeks to controlall magic spirits in the world.

I'm gonna take this all at once. Firstly, it needs rewitten to make better sense. Secondly, it needs rewritten so it doesn't give away the game excpept the ending. You plot synopsis should summarize events leading to the beginning of the game, without giving away all of the plot.

There's so much more to say, but I can't even think about this anymore without pulling out hair.

On a lighter note, the overall plot seems acceptable (maybe because it sounds exactly like millions of other games, including FFs).

First, If you see errors in the mapping, then post them so they can be fixed.

Second, just because Maneo enters down a few times before he starts typing again, is not a good enough reason to base a personal attack on. So what if he edits his posts. I see no problem with that. Just because someone edits their post, doesn't mean that they don't proofread. Maybe he just forgot to add something, or maybe he wanted to change the way he said something. I do all the time. If we were to go through all of your posts, how many of yours would be edited???

Third, so what if it is his first project and is trying to go commercial. If he wants to write the storyline and help design some characters, so what. He can hire the rest out and still make a great project.

Fourth, The storyline that is posted, as far as I know, has not been updated with the current one that all of the team members have. The old story, has been thrown away and completly rewritten. Don't give the "Well, it wasn't up there so I didn't know" BS. We will release it when ready, so wait.

Why you think that you needed to make a personal attack here, at this time is just pointless. Just because you don't like something, doesn't mean that you need to turn it into a personal attack. Make it constructive. Not just pointless rambling about how you don't like this or that. If it is not constructive, then don't say anything. Just leave it at that....

 

[Maneo]

The kitchen map is partly a mockup, Xgamesfreakx will fix that soon.
It´s still better than my earlier maps.

 

[Manetheren]

midir4000:

Haha, that was one of the most ridiculous posts I have read in some years. I thought we had explained that we are working on new maps, editing the storyline, making music and more. And you starts to attack us with stuff that are months old.

Maneo is very polite in his posts and offend no one. So what if he has a defensive approach. Thats not wierd considering the fact that some peaple here don't have constructive advices. But some do of course.

And you say that Maneo is the lone artist on the game? Have you really read the entire thread?

You complain about the story. Well, as said before, it is different now. We have not told it to the public. As I seaid before, READ all the posts before you complain. And if you are impatient about new info about the game, well you have to wait. But it will come new info in a near future.

You don't like when peaple edit posts? Well, not much to do about that. In this forum, evidently, edits can be made. If you don't like, change forum.

Maneo is overseeing the project, and works with a lot of stuff in it. If you want to complain about something, find out who did it. I am storywriter on the game, and I don't think you know a lot of the work I have made. I do other stuff to, you don't know about them either. Yet. As I said, info will come.

And an other thing, if we want to go commersial, we do it. We can't consider other games, we do what we feel is right. Okay?

 

[seita]

Man, this game gets a lot of publicity. Anyway, If that is all true, I suggest that instead of changing the layout of the first post, just take out everything that no longer apply for now. Otherwise, you're just going to get meaningless feedback to something that's already been fixed(?).

 

[Bankbezel757]

Do not double-post, edit your post.

The "nice forest" was made by me, btw.

-I will report anyone who calls this a joke again.
Some maps were remade by Acera in that demo, mainly the first map.
That first map looks ok.



Note:
That demo has only mine and Aceras maps. Not my other team members maps.

-You won´t get another demo. Wait for the full game.
The current demo, has much better maps.

-Stop flaming the project, and say something worthwhile.
I´m trying to work here.

I´m redoing it slowly, at my own pace.



If it looked amateurish, it´s because I wanted it to look simple.
I`m changing it to look better, since the rmxp standard demands it.
I´m a beginner with rmxp, but I have the ideas to make a good game.

Update:

To everyone. This is a serious project.
The demo is removed, since the game looks better now.

I prefer few updates to keep most of the game a secret.
There might be new screenshots later.

Wait so this is really serious?....

 

[xgamexfreakx]

Do not double-post, edit your post.

The "nice forest" was made by me, btw.

-I will report anyone who calls this a joke again.
Some maps were remade by Acera in that demo, mainly the first map.
That first map looks ok.



Note:
That demo has only mine and Aceras maps. Not my other team members maps.

-You won´t get another demo. Wait for the full game.
The current demo, has much better maps.

-Stop flaming the project, and say something worthwhile.
I´m trying to work here.

I´m redoing it slowly, at my own pace.



If it looked amateurish, it´s because I wanted it to look simple.
I`m changing it to look better, since the rmxp standard demands it.
I´m a beginner with rmxp, but I have the ideas to make a good game.

Update:

To everyone. This is a serious project.
The demo is removed, since the game looks better now.

I prefer few updates to keep most of the game a secret.
There might be new screenshots later.

Wait so this is really serious?....

WTF....YOu just read that he said this is serious....why dod you have to ask again...How retarded can you get... Why do you repeat these dumb questions. Why you think that you need to spam this topic with your stupid questions baffels me. Get a life. Figure out something better to do rather than just spam this topic.

 

[Maneo]

Seita: I took away the story, since it´s outdated. I will update it in the next few weeks.
I can´t take away Gratheos post, since he´s the only one who can remove it.
That´s the post in the beginning, with old pictures and the outdated story.
Those are both outdated now.
Just read the first post.
I´ll only update there.
I´m just gonna keep updating, and the new posts in the thread.

*Only the first post is up to date.
Read that before you post.

 

[Muse]

I've been reading this topic for quite a while now, and I really suggest that you take Seita's advice and completely revamp the first post. You say that you have new content, so you really should show us. We want to see improvement--that's what we're here for, even if some of us...erm...critique...in a rather biting way. The point of this site is to help game makers and their games be the best they can be.

Frankly, I'd like to see some new stuff as soon as possible, too. I have a fetish for angels and I'd like to see this game turn out well. >3

Anyway, some tips for your intro page: Make it as perfect as possible. If you have Microsoft Word, Open Office, Text Edit, or any word processor with a spell check, run it. Read everything aloud to check for awkward wording and for things spell checkers miss. Make a consistent format for character profiles, story, features, screenies, and everything. Whatever you do, make us flabbergasted with your development topic. If you can wow us...Well, if you can wow us, then the story pretty much writes itself from there. :thumb:

EDIT: Wait...Story being redone...Oh. I thought someone said the story was redone...You posted right as I was typing this up. XD Well, either way, update and revamp as soon as you can. ^_^'

Oh, and most of all, don't be afraid to take criticism, even if you don't necessarily agree with it. In general, people here know what they're talking about. I can't say I do, but most others have a lot of experience behind them and know these things. XD

 

[xgamexfreakx]

EDIT: Wait...Story being redone...Oh. I thought someone said the story was redone...You posted right as I was typing this up. XD Well, either way, update and revamp as soon as you can. ^_^'

Oh, and most of all, don't be afraid to take criticism, even if you don't necessarily agree with it. In general, people here know what they're talking about. I can't say I do, but most others have a lot of experience behind them and know these things. XD

First off. It has been redone, just not posted here as it is only for the team right now. Also, I agree on your comment on the criticism, to an extent. When people like Bankbezel757 just post crap, then I can understand getting mad, but when the criticism is constructive, even if it's mean, it can be very helpful and should be taken well.

 

[Maneo]

- I´m a little sensitive and get sad easily, that´s why I react so strongly.
I have asperger syndrome, and tourette syndrome. Which explains why I´m so sensitive and easy to hurt.
I break down for nothing, and I have to respond to those who says "mean" stuff to me, even if it´s not meant to be mean. I respond because I want to defend myself.
But I understand that I need to take criticism, so I will try to do that.
Tourette also explains why I have to repeat the smallest things and defend myself.
You´re just activating my tics when you complain about my posts.

I have a lot of tics, and it´s really tiresome for me.

Even if I´m sensitive, I should still be allowed to post there.
Let me be the way I am.



New story is up:

Sira: Land of power, intro scene:

In the year of 1150...an atrocity was done against the angels..
And humanity...must pay...with...blood.

Chapter 1

Present time: The year 1200, which is 1200 years after the  Birth of glorious Lamar King 1st.
Lamar king was the High King and founder of the land Sira, which is home to angels and humans.

(Key: After birth of Lamar=AL)

One day, in the year of 1200 AL, Sareo and Basil leaves Rimea, Capital of Sira,
in the bright morning light. The brown garments that Sareo is wearing, is a mark of the
soldier`s rank, a rank only the finest of the Rimea guard may receive.
Sareo is proud to wear them, but it feels like something´s missing in his life...
Worried that Basil might notice a bit of jealousy, he quickly hides his feeling,
and looks intently at Basil, who is his oldest friend.

Basil suddenly looks curiously at Sareo´s mischevious face. He senses something in Sareo´s eyes,
almost if he could sense Sareo´s inner ambitions and dreams.
-You´re gonna get a cold if you stop and dream like that, my young knight!
Sareo laughs at this, and makes a joking strike move towards Basil, who  jumps away, effortlessly.
-Too slow, little one, Basil says.
-Still the best, ain`t you Basil?
-Always, says Basil, joking, with a smile on his face.
Basil pats Sareo hard on the back, and they continue their journey.
Sareo wishes that he had half the strength that he can sense in Basil´s hand.
What a warrior! Sareo thinks, wishing he could be like that.
Sareo always wanted to be a dragoon; this was what Sareo´s jealousy was about. But, instead he became the most skilled knight in Rimea. But he still dreams of becoming a dragoon one day, whatever the cost.

This journey will lead them to Angel Square, which is an 3000-year old city.
This is where the noble Angels of angel magic is dwelling.
Sareo and his friend has come here, to form a peace treaty, to end the long war between humans
and angels. But the angels will betray them, and a war will break out...

What will this war lead to?

 

[moog]

Your post is full of grammatical errors. Also, where are the two going? What did humanity do to the angels to make them so hostile and vengeful? What is the importance of the main characters? Why does the story take place in 1200 AD if the angels atrocity was done in 1958? Did they jump through a time warp to get there? Why do they main characters have to form a peace treaty?

Im not bashing you, its just so far everyone has been waiting for this elaborate story and its very lacking in the explanation department. So far all im seeing is:

http://www.theargonath.cc/pictures/frod ... osam32.jpg[/img]