You should say why it's called that, cause a silver sun raises too many questions. Also, why is the solar system named? Are there other populated solar systems out there or something?
The sun in the Renar System shines a kind of silver when you look at it. Rather than our sun, which is yellow orange gold whatever. Other than that, nothing else is meant by it. And yes, there are other solar systems besides Renar, but no present technology allows long-distance travel between them.
Lol you gotta be kidding me... Wet, wet oceans? When is an ocean not wet? Better described ocean-planet: "ocean-covered planet Atlin".
kk you got me there I wasn't thinking.
Hard to tell this isn't a joke. "Dead in their wake" means "dead after they rise from sleep" or "at their wake"?
Wake definition
The Lancastrian forces leave innocent people dead in THEIR wake, meaning the wake of the Lancastrians.
A rebel group comprised of elite soldiers? If I was an elite soldier, I'd join a military faction which is againest whoever I want to fight againest. Also if you look at real-life rebel examples, you'll find they are usually poor and/or fighting againest their own government, not some other government.
The rebels reached such a high number that a "behemoth" government needs to ally another nation far out there in the solar system to feel safe again or win againest the rebels? This kinda makes them look weaker then you first presented them.
The foundations of the Vanguard are desserters from Lancaster and Verith, especially commanding officers, whose mentality was put to the test moreso than footsoldiers, and it eventually led them to leave illegally. That was at the start of the war, barely a year into it. Two years after the fact, rookies and officers alike make up the Vanguard, and everyone has equal training. There are no real individual ranks except the commanding ones. Ultimately, the Freelance Alliance [which is the Vanguard, Verith, Zevan, and the Renarian Council] is full of mercenaries and would be highly unorganized if it wasn't for its strong leaders.
And yes, Lancaster has always been the kind of nation to bolster its defenses by having other nations take damage for them. But they're certainly not a joke.
Skyler":fekvzefu said:
...many are profitting from the deaths of men and women alike.
I really don't understand this...
Never heard of a war economy? Shit skyrockets during wartimes, making businessmen rich as hell, and people who make money off of war [i.e. death] don't want to see an end to it.
In this solar system, pirates can be considered noble? Don't they rob from whoever and live as outlaws? You even say he steals from both alliances and calls his actions correct.
The noble thing was an irony, I forgot to put quotation marks up there. I'M not saying his actions are correct, but HE thinks they are.
You describe most if not all of the backstory, but when it comes to talk about the actual start of the game you just stop there...
I think you told too much backstory instead of the real meat people want: the actual game.
Wow I never even realized. I DID tell too much backstory URGH. I'll be fixing that up with the rest of everything else.
Skyler":fekvzefu said:
> Protagonists
-Skyler Delgado [Age: 27] / Space Pirate: "The Red Prodigy"
-Ashley Azel [Age 25] / Technician: "The Silver Scion"
-Alex Lance [Age 32] / Bounty Hunter: "The Green Goliath"
-Jason Knight [Age 30] / Space Pirate: "The White Wolf"
-Casey Anderson [Age 31] / Space Pirate: "The Blue Beauty"
-Vasch Anderson [Age 37] / Space Pirate: "The Crimson King"
Is there a mandatory color-coding in nicknames going around or is it just a fad in that solar system? Really, too many colors used to describe whatever noun they're called.
DON'T READ THIS IF YOU INTEND ON PLAYING THIS GAME AND HATE SPOILERS: Well in the 3rd game, the environment is entirely different. You don't play as Skyler, because a deadly nerve agent claims his life, but instead as his daughter. Later on in the game's story, these characters won't be referred to as their real names, but as the names that history dubs them. It's color-coded because of their favorite colors, which are the same colors of their Assault Gears. I suppose the color coding isn't mandatory, but it's tough thinking of names to call legendary heroes.
Mercury III - Sounds like living in the Sahara with an air conditioner. Really, I can't understand who other then miners would live on this planet. And since when is coal a rare ore?
Why do people live in the middle east?
- The land is undeveloped.
- The climate is warmer.
- Medical conditions such as allergies and respirator ailments are
relieved.
- The job market is less competitive.
- Housing costs are lower.
- An urban metropolis is nowhere in sight.
Coal is an extremely rare ore in Renar. Not only is it a non-renewable resource, but it's in fairly limited supply.
Giza - Whenever I read it I think of the egyptian city. The "turn sand to water" just makes me speechless, in a bad way.
I had to have a technological influence somewhere. I could go into detail and describe to you how it occurs scientifically, if you like.
Zevan - At first I thought "astronomical chances at that happening" when I read an astroid blocks the sun from the planet, but then when I read it correctly it says "An enormous asteroid field in orbit with Zevan prevents any sun from getting through to the rocky city". Where'd that come from? And what's the point of living on this planet?
Zevan is actually the largest planet in the galaxy. Whenever a new weapon is created, they're tested out on this planet, because civilian life is minimal here. There's also a lack of gravity here, so if you're not stuck to something, you're gonna float. Larger weapons, such as bombs and whatnot, send debris everywhere, all ranging in size and stature. Eventually, all the debris and rocks formed and blocked the sun out from this planet. Think of something along the lines of September 11th, when there was so much dust in the air that the sun couldn't penetrate it after the towers fell. That's about what I'm getting at.
Atlin - "Over 98% of this planet's surface consists of water" is what you meant right? Surly the core and mantle is not flooded, right? Also with much water comes much typhoons, hurricanes, storms, and rain right?
Yes that's what I meant. The core is said to contain the rarest substance in the world, that, when hardened, can become indestructable. No one knows for sure, because nobody's ever gone down that far.
Gundar - I imagine this is Earth with a horrible, horrible name. What the hell does Gundar mean? Why did they call it that? We, earthlings, called Earth earth because it's the only planet with fertile earth. Does Gundar mean something alike?
This planet fell into a stereotypical science-fiction ditch. I had to think of something uncommon for Gundar. Earth II seemed stupid, even moreso than Gundar itself.
Kaczur - This is something I never understood with anything with mecha and/or advanced technology: we have big machines for war, but pickaxes for mining? Where are the automated mining robots that replace the need for people to do meager jobs? Also "applenty" should be "plentiful". <-Nevermind that.
No no no, of course there aren't regular pickaxes for mining. There's an abundance of mining tools, although mining corporations feel that paying humans a salary is more inexpensive than maintenance on unmanned mining drones. The Heat Lance, which is the most common mining tool, uses heat, and later after it's fully charged, flame to literally melt through rock. Other than that, mechs can be used to mine. It just depends on how much the company is willing to pay.
Verith - Most of these planets sound inhabitable, so is it these alien creatures that make it impossible to inhabit? Also, damn, no satellites or drones or anything? People spread rumors but there is never any evidence of highly evolved "behemoth" beings?
With the war going on, nobody really cares about a rumor. Most people deny any extra-terrestrial existance anyways. Of course, it was the Vanguard who spread these rumors, and they're currently secretly based on Verith. But maybe they're really ARE monster alien things? Eye dee kay.
Planet summery: If you think I was trying to pick the worst out of each planet, you're right. I don't know how far you thought into it, but most of what I posted I thought when I read it. There's nothing good about them, sadly. They look like a revised version of our solar system with errors. Maybe you should look up what the planets in our solor system are like (e.g.- Pluto is said to have a diamond-filled core, if I recall correctly.
As for everything else... Fluff I say. I only care about story and screenshots, and I reviewed your story and see no screenshots.
kthxbai
