MukanshinBlack
Member
PCP Partner! Your project thread is huge so I'm gonna take one step at a time. Firstly I'll start with Theme, Story - Very Beginning and Plot Analysis, and History. Next post will be about the characets and concept art.
Themes- I liked how you wrote this section. Very detailed and whatnot.
Good and evil are often alike, whether or not others percieve it as so. Sometimes to fight an evil you have to be as evil if not more evil then the evil you're fighting (over-used the word evil). So all-in-all a pretty good theme.
Courage under fire... This theme I don't really like, just because too many protagonists have it. I rather see a coward become a hero then a hero become a hero. But you said that he's not a Sam Fisher; he would be afraid and follow his feelings. So if he was about to enter a really horrible situation would he go in knowing it's the right thing but scared to do so? Is his courage forced or is it in his nature?
Trust; just by saying this is another theme you mean to say that although Drake is the main protagonist he isn't alone, which is a good thing. The more characters the merrier. Is Drake a loner not by choice? Does on the inside he want help/friends?
Overall good themes, and you kept it at 3 which is a good number.
History and General Lore- I've decided to go through this first before heading into the story to get a better idea on what the world is like.
I'm not going to comment on every section of the timeline but on what stands out. The thing that stands out most negatively is how they found a planet alike to earth and were able to colonize it so quickly. I read up on NASA and outer space things from time to time and the only planet they found that may have water and pre-evolved life is many light years from planet earth. Of course your story is not our universe so I shouldn't think about this but from what your timeline shows, the only thing different from your story's earth to ours is that it's more in it's future. It is pretty pointless I'm pointing this our and/or talking about it, but that came to mind when I was reading the timeline so I felt I had to talk about it.
Is this story going to take place solely on Neo-Earth?
Story
Very Beginning- I will comment on the overall beginning: Pretty neat prologue. Reminds me of Red Faction II where the technology kept getting stolen and stolen and stolen. Pretty cool how in the end the loyalists won by a deceit and now will get what they deserve. All-in-all it's a very promising prologue.
Plot Analysis- I thought that your plot analysis would have the plot in there but it didn't, but it's just as well. You shouldn't say some spoilers like "they invade a base and one of them dies" or such. Spoilers are bad, whether or not that actually happens.
It's hard to find what to comment on in here, really. You're pretty much proposing features and plot twists that we will only is there/true when the actual game comes out. I guess the most I can say is "bring it!"
Hope you enjoyed my review. Took me a while to type it all, and to read yours. :crazy: I'll continue with the rest of the stuff I didn't look at tommorrow or maybe even later today. :kiss:
Themes- I liked how you wrote this section. Very detailed and whatnot.
Good and evil are often alike, whether or not others percieve it as so. Sometimes to fight an evil you have to be as evil if not more evil then the evil you're fighting (over-used the word evil). So all-in-all a pretty good theme.
Courage under fire... This theme I don't really like, just because too many protagonists have it. I rather see a coward become a hero then a hero become a hero. But you said that he's not a Sam Fisher; he would be afraid and follow his feelings. So if he was about to enter a really horrible situation would he go in knowing it's the right thing but scared to do so? Is his courage forced or is it in his nature?
Trust; just by saying this is another theme you mean to say that although Drake is the main protagonist he isn't alone, which is a good thing. The more characters the merrier. Is Drake a loner not by choice? Does on the inside he want help/friends?
Overall good themes, and you kept it at 3 which is a good number.
History and General Lore- I've decided to go through this first before heading into the story to get a better idea on what the world is like.
I'm not going to comment on every section of the timeline but on what stands out. The thing that stands out most negatively is how they found a planet alike to earth and were able to colonize it so quickly. I read up on NASA and outer space things from time to time and the only planet they found that may have water and pre-evolved life is many light years from planet earth. Of course your story is not our universe so I shouldn't think about this but from what your timeline shows, the only thing different from your story's earth to ours is that it's more in it's future. It is pretty pointless I'm pointing this our and/or talking about it, but that came to mind when I was reading the timeline so I felt I had to talk about it.
Is this story going to take place solely on Neo-Earth?
Story
Very Beginning- I will comment on the overall beginning: Pretty neat prologue. Reminds me of Red Faction II where the technology kept getting stolen and stolen and stolen. Pretty cool how in the end the loyalists won by a deceit and now will get what they deserve. All-in-all it's a very promising prologue.
Plot Analysis- I thought that your plot analysis would have the plot in there but it didn't, but it's just as well. You shouldn't say some spoilers like "they invade a base and one of them dies" or such. Spoilers are bad, whether or not that actually happens.
It's hard to find what to comment on in here, really. You're pretty much proposing features and plot twists that we will only is there/true when the actual game comes out. I guess the most I can say is "bring it!"
Hope you enjoyed my review. Took me a while to type it all, and to read yours. :crazy: I'll continue with the rest of the stuff I didn't look at tommorrow or maybe even later today. :kiss: