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Lavot Story

AzureKite.png


Once a hidden land,
fell into crisis,
As villagers prayed,
three messengers arrived,
disguised, they destroyed the land,
but three warriors,
fought against the messengers,
but they were defeated,
never to be seen again,
the hidden land remained forgotten,


Lavot

The world is called Lavot and it looks a lot like Earth. It looks like a modern day game. There are still villages, desert towns, etc.
There is no world map. People can go to other areas by crystals called "Signs". There are Signs at the beginning and end of a dungeon and in the center of a city. Like how .hack uses a Chaos Gate, It's sorta the same. You have to "unlock" the area before you go to it.

Characters


Reala

Reala%20Cutin.png


Reala is a boy who was attack by Skathe and lost his memory.

Age: 16 (7 at the beginning of the game)
Gender: Male
Class: Adept Rogue
Race: Human

Luna

Luna%20Cutin.png


Luna is a young girl who is Reala's best friend, she is afraid of fighting people because she does not like to kill. She is frightened of monsters(mostly ghosts) and other things of the like.

Age: 17 (8 at the beginning of the game)
Gender: Female
Class: Long Arm
Race: Human

Riou

Riou%20Cutin.PNG


Riou is the prince of Deciet, the kingdom built over Mata. He is mostly trying
to be around Reala and Luna.

Age: 18
Gender: Male
Class: Wavemaster
Race: Human

Nicole

(Cant find a good Cutin but it's Etna from Disgaea)

A girl who was has known Riou since they were kids. When they get older, she becomes his assistant and helps him on missions that he is assigned.

Age: 16
Gender: Female
Class: Knuckle Master
Race: Daemon

Zoria

Zoria%20Cutin.PNG


A assassin who's objective was to kill Riou, but is attacked by Luna.

Age: 19
Gender: Female
Class: Flick Reaper
Race: Human

Skathe
Skathe is the main antagonist of the game. He is sometimes cruel to his minions.
He is always trying to kill Reala because he is the "Twilight of the Dusk"

Age: ?
Gender: Male
Class: ?
Race: ?

Isa

Isa is the guardian of the Crescent Moon Island. She defends the island
from anything that will damage the land or people on it.

Age: 50,000
Gender: Female
Class: ?
Race: ?

Story

Chapter 1
The Death

The game starts 150 years in the past, the hidden land of Mata. It was once a beautiful garden, until a terrible meteor storm. Since then, their land was destroyed. They prayed for restoration of the village, but they received nothing. The months past, until a mysterious winged man arrives with two others. The people of Mata thought they were winged messengers of heaven. They hoped for them to restore the village, but instead, the three mysterious men were disguised by the villagers, and instead destroyed their land along with them. There were few survivors, but only three had the courage to fight back. They were Sora, Archie, and Adam. They searched for homes, but they encountered the same three men. They tried to attack the three men, but they teleported away, accidentally taking the three children with them. They wound up in their old home, Mata. When they reached the church, they found the three men. They fought the three men but they were defeated, and never to be seen again. Before they died, a child was born, and was frozen until the Moonlight Dancer revived the dead land.

Chapter 2

A New Life

141 years later, there were three youths of a kingdom. One was the prince, the other two were his friends.
A violent storm came over the kingdom. Two of them were bored, the other one wanted them to stay
in the castle until after the storm. One did not listen and left alone. The child left the town and got lost.
He then heard a strange voice, but saw no one. then, the boy was attacked by a black figure. The two other friends
left in search of the lost boy, but they never found him. He was lost for 9 years. His name was Reala.
He was transported to a crescent shaped island. He was found by a 7 year old girl named Luna. She was almost attacked by the same man
who attacked Reala. Before he could actually kill them, the inhabiting soul of the island, Isa, sealed the man into a forest.

Chapter 3


The Scream

9 years later, Reala and Luna attend a high school and have to deal with loads of work. One day, there was a new student named Judas. Reala tells Luna about how he thinks that Judas is weird, but she just doesn't listen to him. When Luna sees him leave the town, she finds out that he doesn't live in Starfall Town. She tells Reala and they decide to investigate overnight. When they decide to head to a forest called "Boundless Eternal Remnant", they find Judas at the depths of the forest. He gets aggressive when they ask him too many questions. He turns to his Phase, Erste, and tries to kill Reala and Luna. They are saved by an angel named Isa, the guardian of Crescent Moon Island. She tries to convince Judas to spare their lives, but he was not willing to listen, so he sent them across the world, Lavot...

Chapter 4

The Killer

Reala and Luna get transported to an unknown castle far from their home. Luna gets furious with Reala and he just doesn't care. When they go in the castle to ask for a boat home, they find a boy being attacked by a mysterious girl. Luna knows the boy is the Prince of Deciet so she attacks the girl. The girl escapes from the castle and the boy puts away his weapon. They introduce themselves and they find out that the boy is actually Riou, the Prince of the continent. They later assist Riou on his missions and are sent back home later. When they get home, they try to find out information about Judas and who he really is.


Help

I need voice acting for calling skills and spells. So, if anyone wants to help, then reply or PM me. Credit will be given.

Credits

RPG Maker - Enterbrain
Vampyr SBABS - Vlad
Vampyr SBABS Addons - piejamas
MOG Menus - Moghunter
Neo Message System - Wortana
ReinoRPG Mini-Mapa - RTH & Benammy
Characters & Faces - Enterbrain, Disgaea, & Digimon
Logo - jaeroll

Terms
Lavot - The name of the world the game takes place in
Phase - A type of guardian that only certain people can control
Vak - Fire
Rue - Water/Ice
Rai - Thunder
Ani - Dark
Lei - Light
Purification - A period of time when Mata was destroyed by an unknown force


Demo: http://www.mediafire.com/?zjnzgnymhxz

Screenshots
(I need to make new ones cuz no forums have recent ones.
 
Isn't this the forum for discussion about the actual game making process, whereas you are meant to be in the Project discussion?
 
I just wanna note that Skathe MUST have an age, even if he does not age, he must have lived for some time unless he is god.

Oh and I just wanna also note the current maps and backgrounds LOOKS UGLY! Not even a single thing other than walls or floors in there, go check the mapping tutorials in the tutorials section.
 

moog

Sponsor

Im with justin, your mapping is very open and can be filled. There isnt much to show at the moment. Im not a huge fan of those Tales sprites, you might want to get a different style of battlers.
 
it certainly is some exciting parts of your idea. but they need some work. first of all you should check out some mapping tutorials as the other guys said and also your characters needs some work. and also, why are the project called Advent moonlight? is is related to the storyline?
 
I switched to XP, I make better maps on there than VX. I made the two maps in the screenshot on my own.
Just wait until you see the world Map :cheers:
 
You haven't really given any info on the characters for us to learn about. Put something up so we can learn about who they are. While the amnesia thing has been done many times, anything with a new spin on it can be done well. So, take the amnesia and try to give it a uniqueness that other stories don't have. Beyond that, you haven't really told us much about the story, so...yeah.

Your mapping needs work, and the graphic styles REALLY clash with either other.
 
Story: You story is bad and tacky. You have a nice idea, but they way you word it on the thread is just terrible. You seem not to have a clear basis and certain ideasin your plot. You do not explain certain things such as how he lost his memory and why he can remember that one fact. I understand that you may want to have plot twists and whatnot, but the goal here is to get improvement, not advertise. Ususally, whatever you post in your story section should answer every basic question concerning the topic. The treasure idea is a cliche. What makes this treasure so important. You would be better off replacing the treasure with something more suiting and original. And then it comes to the part about Shera. Really. Your story makes absolutely no sense, and that cliche swivels your game into a really bad accident. Its not well written or original. Its boring and dull. You need to come up with some more original ideas. Your characters do not have an explination, but from what I can see, they fit a typical cliche ABS RPG game.

Graphics: Everything is bad. Your mapping is absolutely horrendous. I suggest going and reading Tindy's Mapping Tutorial and getting the basics of mapping down. You misuse tiles and do not understand the first thing about it. Your characters clash miserably. Do not use different battlers. If you are going to use the RTP for mapping, then you have to use RTP styled battles for this game. Any mixing looks horrible.

Other: N/A

Conclusion: The future does not looks so bright for your game. Your story is horribly written and it seems you do not have the slightest idea how your story is going to come out. Your characters fit the generic model of an ABS game. Also, they are all swordsman. Not only is that increadiably boring, it also comes off as incrediably lazy. Someone actually trying to prodece a decent game would at least consider the possibility of having more than one character class. Your mapping needs a lot of work, and is a major turn-off. Also, you mix different style of characters. Overall, this game needs a lot of work and polish. I suggest reading tons of tutorials on characters, originality, mapping, and story telling. It seems that you have the bare basics of XP. Unless you work on all the things above, your game will be a generic and basic RPG Maker game that fall back with the crowd.

P.S: XP mapping doesnt magically make your maps look better.
 
IMO, XP maps look WORSE than VX maps if its lazy mapping, think of this, look at pokemon, the mapping is the core of all terribleness, the ponds are almost straight :O. VX kinda copies Pokemon's mapping style, so having a bad VX map wont bother the people so much than XP maps.

Also, I just noticed all your characters are TERRIBLY young, thats not a good way to impress the people with your characters.
 

moxie

Sponsor

Regardless of age this is a website for criticism. It won't always be sugar-coated, and an important part about improving your game-making (or writing, or art, or scripting, etc.) is being able to take criticism well, and learning from it.

Like others have suggested, it would greatly benefit you to check out Tindy's mapping tutorial here. Your maps are bare, but worse than that they're symmetrical (Meaning that everything is neatly matching, or in a straight line.) and that's extremely unappealing.

There's not much story there to critique, so I would suggest filling out that section more. Tell us a little more about your characters, their personality, and their background. How do they get along with each other? Stuff like that.

Just remember when people here seem harsh, it's not a personal insult against you. (Unless they're being retards.) They're just trying to give you valid criticism so you can improve. Good luck!
 
Yeah, maybe someone could offer suggestions like looking at some mapping tutorials, or telling you how to improve your characters!

Oh, wait...
 
That is what the community is for, to help people with their projects. That does not mean we will do it for you. Again, there are resources such as: Mapping Improvement Thread, Screenshot Thread, tons of Tutorials, Partnerships, etc. I suggest seriously looking into them. We can't make you improve, only you have the power to do that. Us helping or doing your project accomplishes absolutely nothing. I understand it may be hard at first, but just keep practicing and taking criticism from others. You will start to see yourself improve over time. o:
 

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