FAIL.
- Thread starter Venetia
- Start date
You want fail? I'll give you fail.
1. A few years ago, I was taking the bus home from work (my previous job). I had been wearing a Doctor Who-ish scarf since it was sort of cold out. I get off the bus and start walking home. Almost immediately, I realize my scarf's stuck in the bus door... and I had to run almost all the way to the next stop to avoid being strangled. Failing that, I finally managed to take it off...and I never saw it again.
2. Last week at my current job (Taco Bell...I think that qualifies as its own FAIL.), I was cleaning the lobby and trying to flirt with a crush from middle school. For the record, she is very distracting. There's something about her eyes... Messes me up in the head whenever I see her and can't think too well for the rest of the day. Anyway, I'm clearing away some trays, one of which has an ungodly amount of guacomole in it. I tell her I have to get back to work. She smiles...and I fail to notice the 'wet floor' sign. Down I go... and the moron eating the guac dumped their drink in it, because the next thing I know, the Temptress and I have been splashed with the slime. I still have this nagging feeling someone set this up.
1. A few years ago, I was taking the bus home from work (my previous job). I had been wearing a Doctor Who-ish scarf since it was sort of cold out. I get off the bus and start walking home. Almost immediately, I realize my scarf's stuck in the bus door... and I had to run almost all the way to the next stop to avoid being strangled. Failing that, I finally managed to take it off...and I never saw it again.
2. Last week at my current job (Taco Bell...I think that qualifies as its own FAIL.), I was cleaning the lobby and trying to flirt with a crush from middle school. For the record, she is very distracting. There's something about her eyes... Messes me up in the head whenever I see her and can't think too well for the rest of the day. Anyway, I'm clearing away some trays, one of which has an ungodly amount of guacomole in it. I tell her I have to get back to work. She smiles...and I fail to notice the 'wet floor' sign. Down I go... and the moron eating the guac dumped their drink in it, because the next thing I know, the Temptress and I have been splashed with the slime. I still have this nagging feeling someone set this up.
sixtyandaquarter
Member
So yesterday I went out and came home fairly late. After a quick stop on the internet to check e-mail and forums I feel straight to sleep while attempting to program a remote to work for my VCR/DVD and TV. I still had my shoes on, which resulted in a nice size blister right above the scar on my heel (which when it was a fresh wound is discussed a few pages back). But that's not the fail.
I wake up today, and I shower. I brush my teeth. I get dressed. Comb my hair. I do all this without a mirror, so it's no surprise sadly that when Maria decided to stop by I was unaware of something I should've probably hid from her.
A set of 5 hickeys on the right side of my neck, and 3 or 4 (since two are slightly connected) on the left side. They are oddly shaped, I realize after a huge fight and a look in the mirror in the other bathroom that's downstairs. If I was smart enough to see them first, I would've said how I got in a manly fight and someone tried to strangle me, as they could easily look like finger bruises around a neck.
I wake up today, and I shower. I brush my teeth. I get dressed. Comb my hair. I do all this without a mirror, so it's no surprise sadly that when Maria decided to stop by I was unaware of something I should've probably hid from her.
A set of 5 hickeys on the right side of my neck, and 3 or 4 (since two are slightly connected) on the left side. They are oddly shaped, I realize after a huge fight and a look in the mirror in the other bathroom that's downstairs. If I was smart enough to see them first, I would've said how I got in a manly fight and someone tried to strangle me, as they could easily look like finger bruises around a neck.
iceplosion
Member
I don't get why you didn't just say that they were bruises when she noticed them.
Dann Woolf
Member
OK, while I still went to school, during one gym lesson me and another guy accidently bumped our heads together.
That afternoon, while walking home I shook my head to get my MP3 earphones out and I nearly fell over. I had to grab onto a car to stay upright.
I'm pretty sure those two incidents are related.
And there's another incident.
I was playing my DS on the couch, and my family was sitting in the back garden talking, I got up and walked over to say something. I blacked out, fell backwards and broke a vase, with Harvest Moon DS's winter music playing the whole time.
I'm damn sure it had something to do with that gym incident.
That afternoon, while walking home I shook my head to get my MP3 earphones out and I nearly fell over. I had to grab onto a car to stay upright.
I'm pretty sure those two incidents are related.
And there's another incident.
I was playing my DS on the couch, and my family was sitting in the back garden talking, I got up and walked over to say something. I blacked out, fell backwards and broke a vase, with Harvest Moon DS's winter music playing the whole time.
I'm damn sure it had something to do with that gym incident.
sixtyandaquarter
Member
Because at times I'm just not that smart.iceplosion":2zpzhvpj said:
Well she wasn't a Hoover.shiroun":2zpzhvpj said:
Dann Woolf
Member
You want to know how much I really fail?
I fail so hard that I nearly died-- during childbirth.
Apparently some time before I was born I did a somersault in the womb and the umbilical cord went around my neck, so while I was being born I almost ended up choking on my own umbilical cord.
I don't think anyone can top that.
I fail so hard that I nearly died-- during childbirth.
Apparently some time before I was born I did a somersault in the womb and the umbilical cord went around my neck, so while I was being born I almost ended up choking on my own umbilical cord.
I don't think anyone can top that.
Dann Woolf
Member
shiroun":28eskqk1 said:
Cain and Abel much?
While we're on baby FAILs (which seem ridiculous to me,) I might as well recount the days when I was short and adorable.
When I was born I was very large. A big baby, as it were (oh ho ho.) Too large to come out unassisted, in fact. The doctors panicked and wheeled out some kind of vacuum thing. By the end of the procedure, I was out, but I was severely bruised, and a sizeable patch of skin had been torn off of my head where one doctor had gotten overzealous with the vacuum. I wasn't an incredibly happy camper.
Oh, and then I got jaundice because my liver failed on me while it was trying to process all the dead cells that had been created by all those bruises. So that's fun too.
The miracle of birth~
When I was born I was very large. A big baby, as it were (oh ho ho.) Too large to come out unassisted, in fact. The doctors panicked and wheeled out some kind of vacuum thing. By the end of the procedure, I was out, but I was severely bruised, and a sizeable patch of skin had been torn off of my head where one doctor had gotten overzealous with the vacuum. I wasn't an incredibly happy camper.
Oh, and then I got jaundice because my liver failed on me while it was trying to process all the dead cells that had been created by all those bruises. So that's fun too.
The miracle of birth~
Dann Woolf
Member
Here's some vidya-related fail.
I was playing Konami Krazy Racers on my GBA and I was stuck on one of the license challenges.
I eventually got so pissed I banged on the screen, and ended up leaving a huge black mark on it.
I got a new one later, but I still have the broken one, hoping that some day I'll be able to get it fixed.
---
Also, I myself am a huge failure.
I have no friends. I have no self-esteem. I have no life.
Goddamn it I hate myself.
I'm 18 years old, 19 in June, I'm still a virgin and I've never had a girlfriend.
If that isn't failure I don't know what IS.
I was playing Konami Krazy Racers on my GBA and I was stuck on one of the license challenges.
I eventually got so pissed I banged on the screen, and ended up leaving a huge black mark on it.
I got a new one later, but I still have the broken one, hoping that some day I'll be able to get it fixed.
---
Also, I myself am a huge failure.
I have no friends. I have no self-esteem. I have no life.
Goddamn it I hate myself.
I'm 18 years old, 19 in June, I'm still a virgin and I've never had a girlfriend.
If that isn't failure I don't know what IS.
Dann Woolf
Member
Luminier":1kpamuhx said:
I'm not emo, as I don't listen to linkin park and cut my wrists while writing crappy poetry.
I don't really fit into any group.
I'm just... a nobody. A nothing. A less-than-Average Joe.
Dann Woolf
Member
shiroun":2tfi3ek5 said:
Easier said than done.
If I could blend in that easily I wouldn't have any problems, now would I?