The detail of your summary is not the problem. Your English really isn't much of a problem either. (At least not to me. ^_^) I think it's more the jumping from item to item. Hm... That's not a good way of explaining that is it? Let me think a moment....
Okay, I'm reading over your summary as I type this. The first paragraph is fine, no real issues there (aside from grammar, but I'm not talking about that here). I do have a little bit of a nitpick about the second to last sentence though. You wrote "One day when MaqaBar Faction of The World Govenment got a new leader, the organization where dismissed from The World Government." That kind of makes it sound like as soon as Zarx became the leader, they were dismissed. I assume that it took a little while (a couple of months or maybe a year or so) before they realized his true nature. This sentence confuses that a bit. Again, that's just a personal little nitpick of mine; no biggie.
Second paragraph. In the first, Maqabar seems to be some kind of country or group of people; here it kind of seems to be just a powerful and influential company. Maybe it's both? A company that grew into a country perhaps? That's an interesting concept... I can see a large company building with several wings dedicated to employee apartments.... :tongue: But anyway, that's just another one of those things I notice.
Third paragraph. A lot happens here; nothing wrong with that. I think it could be ordered a bit differently though. The flow of sentences seems... busy. Yeah, that's about the right word. At the end of the second paragraph, it mentions Maqabar's prowess with machines, then the third jumps into Zarx discovering Nova Angel. It's just a little of a shock, like going from one chapter to the next. Maybe start with your "At the same time as MaqaBar builded machines for the war..." and then put in your bit about his discovery of Nova. Then follow up that while he was in his castle, he used Nova's power, etc. Maybe cut out mentioning the machine war for now; that sounds more like a dramatic closing teaser than mid-summary info.
Fourth paragraph/sentence. Hm. If the summary stopped here, it would be perfectly fine where it is, but as you continue to read, it seems a little odd. Perhaps cut this and move the info down to the sixth paragraph where you talk about the Warriors of Light. (At least I'm pretty sure that phrase refers to the same three warriors.)
Fifth paragraph. Here is where confusion really sets in. The World Government you speak of implies that it governs the entire world, and here comes a king. Is the World Government like the UN? I just scrolled back up and reread the first paragraph again (yup, another suggestion for the first; sorry to skip around), and you do state "INCLUDING the three organizations..." which could easily imply more than three, but is a little misleading. The "including" could just be what is used to start listing the three organizations. Perhaps add something like "among others" to the end of that sentence. Okay, sorry about that. I should move that up to the first paragraph section, but I'm gonna be lazy and not do it.
Okay, back in lecture mode and back to the fifth paragraph. World Government like the UN. When you put that Mirasol is a leading organization, it's kind of like repeating yourself. Unless you're saying that Mirasol is now THE leading organization instead of Tekka Tora? I just reread the "outsended" part. Are you trying to say "sent out" or "ousted"? I'm guessing you mean they were "sent out" to fight the machines, thus starting the machine war. And the second sentence fixes that problem; they were sent out. Out to the imperial city to talk to the king. Clarify that they sent someone and not the whole organization; it's kind of common sense, I know, but it kind of sounds like the whole lot of them up and traveled to Argahan Lehin. I can see it now!! The street full of Mirasolians, the townspeople moving aside from the procession in wonderment... Uh... yeah, I really doubt that's the case. ^_^ Anywho, next up. The king summons the Midhan Consul!! In RPG speak, that usually means calling a creature to fight for you. Common sense, however, says that you mean that the king will call the Empire to fight with Mirasol. Ha ha! Here I solve the little problem of multiple organizations!! Duh! Is King Pihra the leader of the Midhan Consul, or is the Midhan Empire something else? But you also state that he "was once a member of Midham Consul". Well there went that theory since he is apparently still a king. Honorary title maybe? And back to Zarx. This really could have been said in the third paragraph. Perhaps add a meanwhile at the beginning of this? Another nitpick of mine; it just sounds better to me. Is Red Materia a weapon or creature of some sort? Or is it some other kind of power? I'm sorry, but the whole "drew Red Materia from cosmos" just throws me off. Hm... Maybe add something like "to help their cause" to the end of that. It would give a reason instead of just randomly getting Red Materia. The shadow grinder thing makes sense; they're his own personal army of sorts, right? Wait, is the Red Materia Nova's army? Hm...
I'm skipping the last paragraph for now and going back to your three warriors. Now seems like a more appropriate time to talk about them. That war is laid out; everything is coming together; a gruesome battle is at hand. Now someone must choose three elite Warriors of Light to send on a secret mission to recover the powerful God Crystals to save the world! (dramatic drumroll please) Not necessarily the way your story goes, but this just seems like a better place for them to me.
Sixth paragraph. You really don't need to repeat that the king summoned the Empire; you just said it so it is a little redundant. Another nitpick, I know, and here's one more for you. I really think you should put mention of the Millennium Children when you first talk about the warriors.
Whew! I can't believe that took me almost an hour! Wow. I hope I helped a bit. If not... Damn, I just wasted an hour I could have spent on my game!
If I offended you at any time, I apologize; I really am just trying to help.
Edit: Sorry everyone; I guess I should have just PMed this...