Lines you wouldn't hear

[Sgt. Cookie]

Here's what you do. I will start by posting a scenario and the next person replies with a line you wouldn't hear in that situation. Then you put down your own scenario and the next person replies with a line and then posts another scenario and so on and so forth.

David cameron (The new british PM) is addressing the country

 

[Jason]

Hello, I'm David Cameron, and I'm an alcoholic!

(Love this game, Mock The Week is great!)

 

[Ellie]

I speak with full honest when I say -

 

[Zackwell]

"Ohhh you're gonna regret this..."

"I will fix britain's econom- Pardon? My solid gold bathtub has arrived? Great. Now where was I?"

 

[Sgt. Cookie]

You are reading a winnie the pooh book-

 

[Zackwell]

"Oh bother... I've gone and dripped honey all in my lap and I can't lick it off...
Tigger, could you get it for me?"

 

[Tindy]

"Oh pooh bear. You make my woman parts go all humbly-jumbly."

You bump into an old lady --

 

[Sgt. Cookie]

"Hello there soony boy. Lookin' for a good time?"

What Barack obama says when no one can hear.

 

[Misery]

I'm secretly an elf hehehehehe

unlikley things to be knighted as
(e.g Sir Fishslap)

 

[Cryranos]

I dub thee Dame Goodtime. (You're a man)

You've met the person of your dreams-

 

[Misery]

ZOMG :O

(lets stick with metatrons idea for a bit i like it )

 

[XeroVolume]

Hey! Let's get it on!

You're ordering your morning coffee at the local Starbucks...

 

[Sgt. Cookie]

When the place is attacked by ninjas.

Lines you wouldn't hear in a sci-fi film.

 

[Zackwell]

"Launching in 5...4...3..."
"STOP THE COUNTDOWN!"
"What? Why?"
"WE'RE NOT IN THE FUCKING ROCKET YET YOU ASSHOLE!"

Lines you don't see on the World of Warcraft Terms of use.

 

[Ellie]

4b: Haha, sucker, thanks for playing to social trends and for your precious cash.

 

[Sgt. Cookie]

(Dude you have to add your own scenario after the line.)

 

[Ellie]

Things you wouldn't expect in the next Harry Potter film -

 

[bacon]

I dont love you Ron, not like that.

You are walking down the street and _________

 

[Cryranos]

a random person hands you the hope diamond

you order your favorite dish at a restaurant...

 

[Zackwell]

"Good evening sir, would you like todays special? Rat stew."

Things you wouldn't see on a church noticeboard.