Zinta Devil Saga: Path of Destany

[Chaos_Prime]

This game is a wip so the story line is alittle shaky and as the rest a wip.
Story - 20%
Charicters - 15%
Items - 10%
Equipment - 5%

Story so far:
The year is 728DC(Dark Calendar) the war of the Shadow Zun is over, but
an even darker race is arise in the dark depths of Azen, the race known as Ika(eye ka), a hideous insectoid race lead by there leader It’tkstr will take the surface world by swarm, yet a truce was called between the Numaians(nuum) human in appearance they weald the might of the Azen god Bomous, Murians animal like and always looking for confrontations at every corner of Azen they will take up arms or claws at any threat there kingdom known as the Beryl Republic , and eventually the Zunians this demonic race born from the hatred of the god Zunis breathed life into this once forsaken to lead his army across the realm of Azen. For one hundred years the three races was at war with one another, soon thy may be at war with a new race and fighting together. But for how long will this truce last? The wheels of fate will tell this tale, and the fate will rest upon the destiny of the chosen one of the Zinta prophecy.

 

[Jaerys]

This is an odd thing for me to say, but you need to organize your thoughts more. As cliché as it is, where presentations are concerned, it's not what you say but how you say it. I recommend you edit your post a bit. Too many setting specific terms are introduced and explained at once. It makes it difficult to catch people's interest. Maybe you should start with something that explains the current state of the world as it pertains to the main character(s), then explain the races and a more detailed history in it's own section.

As far as the story itself goes - There isn't enough information to tell for sure if it will be good or bad, but if your story is really 20% done then that's more than my own project, and for that I salute you.

 

[Afro Samurai]

At least write proper english. DESTINY. It's not a big mistake, but it's normal because you might ear DESTANY in movies.

 

[Saikoden]

*hear, lol. I just found that amusing because half through criticising him you, had a typo lol

Anyway, to the topic at hand. I was reading over the story you have and there was something i wondered about. Excactly what was the Shadow Zun war and how did it end/start. You've mentioned something that i believe would have severe historical value to your game and yet, have mentioned nothing about it.

If you were to write a brief description of that war, as in why/who started the war, some major occurances during the war and then finally how it ended, you could make the viewer/gamer understand a little bit more about the current heroes we are seeing now. You could also explain what the race was that proceeded the current new threat to the world, so we know excactly why this new race is more "dark" as you put it.

It has a very good feel to it, just needs to be polished up a bit more. Although, if anyone sees anything wrong with what i have written for him then please correct me.

 

[Chaos_Prime]

Well the Shadow Zun war was against the Zun race the demonoids of Azen, and also I was almost asleep when I did the post so bear with me here, anyway.
~~continuing on~~
The Shadow Zun War takes place around the time of 640DC to 727DC the Zunian Empire, waged a war against every living thing that wasn't Zun and tried there forbidden magic to change everything into Zun. The leaders of the Numian Republic of Azen, held a counter offensive until soon a new race emerged the Murians known for there savage ways, and there brutal methods. Came to aid the Knights of Bomous, yet in the end over a hundred thousand was slain and yet half that was seeped into the soil for further reasons. So a year afer the war Zunis declared that his new children will once again tear apart Azen, and this force is the Ika.
~~The end of the war~~
Characters so far
Num:[Human]
Rathlon Numara (Royal Knight)
Vesdek Guun (Blacksmith)
Xenlink Damik (Royal Archer)
Amtor (Mage/Scholar)
Myran Numara (Warrior)
Tokumori (Monk)
Anaj Nakamura (Samurai)
Ine Rama (Gunner)

Mur:[Beast]
Ilfang [Fox] (Thief)
Orari [Wolf] (Hunter)
Ya’aki [Tiger] (Beast Knight)
Bi’pana [Panda Bear] (Healer)
Cothkam [Lion] (Beast Commander)
Zomzar [Grizzly] (Fighter)

Zun:[Demon]
Eender (Warlock)
Usuuwyn (Moon Witch)
Ziradir (Necromancer)
Urular (Infested Knight)
Cyr (Vampire)
Zalagara (Demon Knight)
Zur (Axeman)
Rathamika (Moon Hag)

Ika:[Insect]
Chyk’thsotk [Mantis] (Alchemist)
It’tkstr [Black Widow] (Death Gambler)
Thok [Fire Ant] (Fire Elementalist)
Thor’tk sksysk [Hornet] (Doom Knight)

Aqa:[Fish]
None yet

Kum:[Elemental]
Non yet

this is all I have so far. So bear with me.