One time my computer wouldn't turn on at all, so I got a paper clip and straightened it out and poked it into a random hole in the laptop and accidentally dropped it and it fell into the laptop.
I shook it about until the paper clip fell out, but I dropped the laptop and it fell down the stairs (I was in a boarding school and there were a lot of stairs) so I picked up the laptop and pressed the power button and the fan made some weird rumble noise (I dented the plastic inwards, accidentally of course).
So I went back to my room and threw the laptop onto my bed, jumped next to it and fell asleep. I had the greatest dream ever. My laptop wasn't in it at all, but it was raining skittles, like in that advert, and I drowned in them and died.
When I woke up, I pressed the power button and it worked! For another week or so.
So fix No.3 would be: Shove a pin into the side of the computer, drop it down stairs and throw it onto your bed, where you fall asleep and dream about some kind of sugary food. Oh yeah, and pray to the earth giai, it might work one day.
I hope you're trying these fixes because they do really work.
EDIT: After reading what you posted, Grandor, I can understand why I'm getting this error nowadays.