Where has my muse gone?

[WeAreSuperhero]

I just finished a pseudo childrens book called 'Where has my muse gone?' Its more an illustrated poem done in the sort of style of a childrens book. Could someone please take a look at it and tell me their thoughts on it?

Download removed.

Here are a few examples

Spoiler: 3 pics, large size

http://img53.imageshack.us/img53/2148/01wherehasmymusegoneshamx4.png[/img]
http://img184.imageshack.us/img184/623/ ... hmyug8.png[/img]
http://img113.imageshack.us/img113/4913 ... itluo5.png[/img]

Thanks in advance =]

 

[Shadow_Strike]

Most of us dont want to dl a 1mb file.
Could you post a few of the pictures here?

 

[WeAreSuperhero]

Heres a few examples

Spoiler

http://img53.imageshack.us/img53/2148/01wherehasmymusegoneshamx4.png[/img]
http://img184.imageshack.us/img184/623/ ... hmyug8.png[/img]
http://img113.imageshack.us/img113/4913 ... itluo5.png[/img]

 

[djzalzer]

I hate to be a meanie but you know that nobody's going to publish this once it's been put on the Internet.

 

[Aturaten]

MY MOOSE IS IN IT'S HOUSE WHERE IT BELONGS BECAUSE I'M CANADIAN.

 

[Venetia]

It's a very sweet story, and it has the flow of something a child's book should have. You also have a way with words, in a simple but meaningful way.

Now for the bad stuff:

The art style is not smooth or soft enough for a childrens' book. Some of the scenes look a little rushed and if you only have Paint to make an illustration I suggest waiting until you have something better.

Secondly, it ends sadly. Childrens' books should never end sadly. A kindergarten teacher reads it to her students and half of them'll cry. Do you think it'd sell much if it made kids cry?

Thirdly the text itself is too sophisticated for a child's book. It's good for someone at a preteen level, but then again it's a picture book with a sentence per page and that's geared toward kindergarteners.

Nice try though, keep at it.

 

[Cruelty]

you need, as previous stated, some nicer art. Really. Pixels are just nasty looking when used for something like this. The whole thing is kinda charming, but wtf.. a 'muse'? For kids, this is? I'm 19 and I don't even really know what the hell 'muse' means. D:

also is was PLAIN. the text was plain. PLAIN PLAIN PLAIN. Use a cuter/more-playful font. add some soft colorful designs to cover up the plain white background.

 

[WeAreSuperhero]

@djzalzer I wasn't intending to publish it, I just sort of did it to appease myself =]

@Venetia Thanks! I drew, and then scanned in those pictures, and coloured them in the GIMP, but I see what you mean, its quite a harsh drawing style.

I meant for it to be, you opened it expecting it to be something usual but it surprised you. So, its not actually a childrens book but disguised as one. I wanted it to be an allegory, not a published book.

@Cruelty I think its gotten so pixellated because I used a mouse instead of a tablet to colour it in u_u. But I sort of liked the plain thing, it focused your attention onto the words so you didn't get distracted.

Thanks everyone very much for the feedback, I really appreciate it.