I'm not trying to silence you, i'm trying to understand you. lol
"Sugarcoating" problems never helps anyone. It's like putting a band-aid on an open wound.
You see, peoples behaviors are shaped due to deep psychological issues. Example.
A child who is treated terribly by his mother, like if his mother alwyas puts him down just to make herself feel better; calling him "stupid," "brat" "little sh*t," "good for nothing" "waste of life," and says to him that he "ruined her life," "killed her fun," and constantly tells him he is worth nothing, and cant do anything right. Then, after this treatement, tells him that "she is not his mother anymore." because she is tired of trying to raise him; will effect him more than you think.
Now this is where the individual has a choice. They can
a) sugar coat- escape thru some method
b) face it and deal with it
If they try to escape, and the issue is never dealt with, they can develop a type of hatred toward women. Why? Because in a childs development there is a special bond between the child and his mother. The mother is the closest woman to a man, besides his eventual wife, in a boys life. When that women, who is supposed to love the child unconditionally, give up, that says to the kid that he is not worth loving.
This makes him not only hate women (to some degree) due to the fact that a woman who was supposed to love him the most treated him like that, then why shouldn't he bleive that most women probably will, right? (remember this is during the development stage of a youth, so these tramas shape opinion for life- if not dealt with)
And they will also not trust women; because the person who was supposed to love him the most gave up. So why wouldn't any one esle?
Now that these opinions are formed, the youth's life will be affected and choices will be made following these warped opinions. Thats sugarcoating, and thats what will happen in this case.
The reason why counceling is such a powerfull tool is because it forces a person to confront these issues from there life and makes them DEAL with it. The only way some one can heal is if they face there problems, and not run away.