Vanderhal: Age of Eradication

[Nathan1347]

Vanderhal: Age of Eradication


This is my first RPG Maker XP project. I just wanted to see what you guys thought of it so far. Thank you and if you have any questions please post them

Spoiler: Background

Creators: There is not much known about the Creators. They made Vanderhal, and possibly other worlds too. Old text books and monuments hold the truths about them though. Not all the Creators were the same; they all had their own job to do. To this day it is thought that they either perished after making Vanderhal or simply moved on to another world.

Vanderhal: Before the Creators stepped on the world of Vanderhal, other creatures inhabited the desolate rock. A great war took place known as the Age of Creation. To the Creators, it was no war, rather a simple task that had to be done. They vanquished the creatures, and used their essence to build Vanderhal. To give life to something, like a planet, you must harvest it first.

Entities Background: Everything is made just the way it should be, nothing out of place. Of course this is what the “Creators” wanted. They developed a check and balance system. For an example, fire can destroy the trees that are spreading too far. Water then douses the fire, so not too much is destroyed. Then Life grows more trees, so there is a healthy number to re-populate their numbers.
This system doesn’t just check for living organisms, it checks for any aspect. Wealth, Power, Light, Dark, etc. Yes even the Dark, or the Evil Aspect, was incorporated into the “Creators” grand scheme. They thought if there was an Evil, people and other living things would then have a fear. One couldn’t do something without a consequence. Check and Balance at its finest.
The Creators didn’t issue the checks and balances themselves, it was the great Entities.

Spoiler: Entities

Life
Physical Appearance: A titanic size tree
Name: Zayrona, Great Tree of Vanderhal
Background: It is said that Zayrona’s roots stretch all across Vanderhal even in the depths of the Ocean. The tree can’t do everything by itself so it produces saplings. The offspring then can heal, protect, and even destroy Life.

Existence
Physical Appearance: A Tortoise with three hourglasses on its back.
Name: Ahkamull
Background: This behemoth tortoise doesn’t live in one plain of existence. It’s in the past, present and future. It is nearly impossible to catch a glimpse of this Entity. He knows everything that has been and everything that will be.

Element
Physical Appearance: A Human-Esque Shaman
Name: Rolotoko
Background: Fire, Water, Air, Earth, and Magic are controlled by this Entity. Rolotoko resides in a place where every element is present. It is said that Rolotoko commands Golems to do his bidding when he is caught up in other issues.

Virtue
Physical Appearance: A White Phoenix
Name: Sephiala
Background: Sephiala is a grand white Phoenix. Her brood are represented by winged white animals. Many churches worship Sephiala, her monuments are represented by white wings.

Vice
Physical Appearance: Three headed Hound.
Name: Triasoles
Background: The opposite of Virtue. Each head of Triasoles represents a different aspect of Vice:Flaw, Sin, and Corruption. Some say Triasoles is the “Law” of Vanderhal. If you see a dark hound at your footsteps, it is a warning to you that something ill is going to happen because of what you’ve done. There are no free men in Triasoles’ eyes

Spoiler: Plot

You are a young man by the name of Exor. You live in the town of Norsh, and you are part of the Training Academy. Right now you are a Scout, and your final test to become an Apprentice is today! After being an Apprentice you can choose which guild to be part of, the Blacksmith Guild, the Mage Guild, the Thief Guild, the Ranger Guild, and finally the Church of Sephiala.

From then on you’ll have even more choices. There will be simple choices, hard choices and even choices which you can create a whole new world.

There are people that are part of a long ancient lineage. But only the Entities know who these people are, and one of them is Exor. Not only will he learn of his heritage but experience it as well. With this, there is a chance for Good to beat Evil in the war of Eradication
.
But what is this Evil? You cannot simply define it as one thing, as there is always another Evil plotting against all that is Good. The hero must keep defeating it as long as he/she has a breath in their body.

Spoiler: Features that will be part of the game

2 Unique Storylines

Pick your own class.

Pick from 2 sub classes as you advance in the game.

Each class is unique in its own way. For example:
Warriors can wield two handed weapons and bash things down.
Mages can use scrolls of power and use magic to change the environment.
Paladins have Librams and they can revive fallen party members with spells.

Decisions have an effect on the storyline.

Gain reputation with other factions and befriend them. But be careful as you befriend once race, another may lose friendship with you.

Spoiler: Screenshots

Black Smith Guild

Graveyard

Shrine of Lemona-Corrupted

A Cave

A Forest

My story is very early in development, but I think I have a nice foundation out. As I progress in making this, I get more ideas for ways to incorprate the story in new ways. Also, I have left out a lot of the plot because I want the player to have surprises in the story.

This is a lone project so far, and my first serious game. I've got a long ways to go before I can make probably pretty decent stuff.

There will be a demo as soon as I get the quest line for a guild done. Ill be updating this thread.

Thank You

BTW- If any of you talented artists out there want some work, I've got plenty of work for you! Need good battler and character sets artists. Also you would be doing this for free. And I would put you in the credits of course. So send me a PM if you are interested!

 

[noah918]

I guess I can drop my two cents in.

The history: Not too bad but kind of reminds me of the matrix so it seems a little cliché to me. But, if that’s not the direction your going then it could be interesting.

Entities: None of these really reach out and grab my attention. Maybe a little more work on making them sound a little more interesting. (could just be me though!)

Plot: Like the entities nothing in here really reaches out and grabs my attention. It seems to be somewhat solid though, maybe just spice it a bit.

Features: If you can get a system to work as you have described it I would download it just to try the features.

Mapping:

First map: Seems ok but why are there beds in the lower right corner? If they are for the shop keeper wouldn’t they be in the room? Also, something looks strange to me with the entry way to the other room.

Second map: The tall grass seems a little out of place on the dirt, might want to check into that. Also, around all the graves are just dirt… does grass not grow there? Other then that I like it.

Third map: First the door looks a little strange… Kind of like a dungeon entrance or something. The mossy/vine on the right side of the building looks way out of place and the path leading to the building looks very strange to me.

**Just to let you know, I am no expert mapper I can barely make my own. I would however recommend you go look up some mapping tutorials and maybe get some critiques from the experts.

I hope this helps you. The project seems like a solid start but could definitely use some touch-ups.

Good Luck!

 

[Nathan1347]

Thank you for your two cents, I really appreciate it. About the History thing, I had no idea this sounded like the Matrix. I actually don't like that movie so I'm hopefully going to stay away from that.

The Entities I will try to further to explain them so they have a better identity. And the plot, I actually have a big surprise for the player, I just don't want to spoil anything here. I'll try to add some more detail so it keeps the secret but still grabs your attention.

The mapping, I will change the blacksmith up a little. Youre right about the beds, I'll make a separate room for that. And I saw on a mapping tutorial here that they suggesting having the rooms set up like that. The Graveyard Ill change the trees, and maybe the whole thing. I put some different trees int he tileset so I'll probably end up putting those in there. And lastly the Academy. Lol you are so right that door looks like a dungeon thing. I got so used to seeing it, that I didn't even notice. And the path does look goofy but I don't know what else I should do because it looks like blah when you see the whole town, so I'll figure it out.

About the game: I have all the maps completed for the first part. And the forest is darker, kind of like the graveyard. I'll update them in the screenshot section here.

 

[moog]

Ok so I read the history and quickly got interested in this game. Then I read the plot and quickly got uninterested. Then I saw the screens and got TOTALL uninterested.

The plot just seems very standard western-rpg, which isnt bad per se, but I think it could be a little more developed than just "YOURE ABOUT TO FINISH TRAINING AS A STANDARD CLICHE"

 

[Nathan1347]

Haha well maybe I'll come up with something else then in the beginning. This game is about choices, so I need to incorprate that into the beginning. I'm all up for suggestions.

And what about the screenshots that made you un-interested?

 

[R.J.]

I don't know what would be wrong with the maps. They all look fine, not anything too special but just good mapping. You really don't need to waste your time on mapping tutorials as your mapping is fine.

The story is ok and the choices seem interesting, as long as you can work it out good.

 

[Nathan1347]

I don't know what would be wrong with the maps. They all look fine, not anything too special but just good mapping. You really don't need to waste your time on mapping tutorials as your mapping is fine.

The story is ok and the choices seem interesting, as long as you can work it out good.

Well thank you, and I know the mapping isn't anything new and original. I'm trying to get my hands on some nice looking tilesets so you guys can look at something different.

And yes I have a nice plan with the choices aspect. But I'm leaving for the game to show it.

 

[dadevvtsvre]

And what about the screenshots that made you un-interested?

The problem with the screenshots is that it looks like your typical RPG Maker XP game. It's not really your fault, it just so happens that your screenshots look like 99% of RMXP games. When you have dozens of people using the exact same graphics it gets old rather quickly. It also really doesn't help that you use the "Arshes" sprite as your main character.

I don't know how familiar you are with the RPG Maker community but if you browse around any RM forum you'll see how your screenshots look very repetitive. Like I said though, it's not directly your fault, rather, it's the result of too many people lacking effort to make their own graphics or at the very least use ripped ones.

Still, if this is one of your first games, I'd advise you to still use the RTP. It's a relatively simple tileset and good for users just getting into this kind of stuff. If you do get serious about this though, remember to diversify and branch out to different graphical styles. Don't be afraid to take risks and try something new. But when you're just starting out, keep it simple, it'll help you "ease in" to map-making and all that jazz.

 

[Nathan1347]

Thank you John Egbert for some advice. Ya on my other post I said that I know that the RTP Tileset is nothing original so I can see why you guys are sick of it. And the "Arshes" character does change depending on the class you choose. He still has the same face but different clothes on.

When I start getting further into it I'll try to get different tilesets because I know I'm going to need different ones. The RTP just doesn't have what I need. I want to thank you again for the advice. Anything helps

 

[gRaViJa]

Arshes' face is the biggest problem, everyone resognizes it
my opinion on your game:

storyline: a story about the balance and breaking that balance has been done before, but at least it's more original then collect the crystals to save the world if you work it out, you can make an interesting storyline from it. but work on it!

the entities: i like those descriptions: a turtoise with 3 hourglasses on his back reminds me of dali's paintings somehow.

plot: same as storyline, not super original but it can work if you put work in it.

features: well different classes are nothing new :p two storylines will enhance replay value, so could be a good idea. If all decisions affect the story and not just two or three keypoints then it is a good point in your game. The different factions and there relations to eachother might work as well.

screenshots: i'd give them a 5/10, while not being horrible they aren't anything special either. Your cave is even below average, while your forest is pretty good.

Overall: I can see you have put work in your game, that's a good point. Be sure to make the storyline interesting. Try to make the game fun to play, so make good puzzles and battles even though that will take a lot of work and courage to start with. You know the basics of mapping but they are not overly appealing either. Check Tindy's (advanced) mapping tutorial, it's really good!

You made a decent start, now keep working on it to make it plain good

 

[Tindy]

I think, and I'm not 100% certain here, but I think the problem with the room is that your floor tile (in the doorway) is on Layer 2, so it's covering up part of the ceiling tile and messing with the perspective. Also, you're not using the edges of the walls next to the door, so that also makes it difficult.

The only entity that really seemed interesting to me is the tortoise, and the Phoenix a little bit less so. The tree sounds almost exactly like the Great Deku Tree from the Legend of Zelda series... The rest just don't hit me in any special way.

Also agree that the main plot sounds a lot like The Matrix. And I'm having problems figuring out what exactly that bit of background has to do with the actual plot itself.... And how can there be "evil" if there's a system of checks and balances to keep the world in harmony? Are the creators the evil?

 

[Nathan1347]

I think, and I'm not 100% certain here, but I think the problem with the room is that your floor tile (in the doorway) is on Layer 2, so it's covering up part of the ceiling tile and messing with the perspective. Also, you're not using the edges of the walls next to the door, so that also makes it difficult.

The only entity that really seemed interesting to me is the tortoise, and the Phoenix a little bit less so. The tree sounds almost exactly like the Great Deku Tree from the Legend of Zelda series... The rest just don't hit me in any special way.

Also agree that the main plot sounds a lot like The Matrix. And I'm having problems figuring out what exactly that bit of background has to do with the actual plot itself.... And how can there be "evil" if there's a system of checks and balances to keep the world in harmony? Are the creators the evil?

Ok thank you very much for pointing that out to me about the room. The floor is on layer one though, so I think it just looks weird because they are similiar in color. And I can't believe I didn't use the edges for the door, I did it to my other rooms.

About the Entities, I'll change them up a bit. I don't want to be copying and if people get the idea its the Deku Tree then I don't want to go there. But I just thought it would be a good idea about the Tree's roots stretching everywhere and can sprout creatures. I'll play around with ideas.

Again about the Matrix thing, I have only seen the first one and couldn't tell you what it was about. I was 10 when it came out. I'm going to have to read it to see how close I'm getting to it. And lastly about the "Evil".... well it's a secret :wink: It would be a boring game if you knew what you had to kill right?

Update about the Game: I have remade the main character, does not look like Arshes in anyway. Besides the fact he's wearing the same clothes as him, but only in the beginning! :thumb:

 

[R.J.]

Arshes' face is the biggest problem, everyone resognizes it

1. It's Aluxes, not Arshes. Arshes was his name in the hacked Postality Knights version of RMXP.
2. Give me one good reason why using Aluxes' graphic is bad.

 

[gRaViJa]

I said arshes because someone else called him that way to, are you trying to insinuate something? Well, don't! Next: isn't it obvious why using that char is bad? it is the char you see in EVERY game/demo etc. from rmxp. everyone knows it, it has become boring and generic. Using that char is a big no...

now back to discussing this game instead of this nonsense.

 

[Nathan1347]

Game Update: Added some more information about the game in the "Background" spoiler. And changed the Vice Entity a little. BTW you pronounce his name Tri-Ah-So-Lees.

Also I have a title screen in the works, just need an okay.