Unforgiven Past

[Merata]

Story

A[/FONT] war was going on between two big sides, the regions Tregan and Kirej at one side and Yrien and Uqera on the other. The war started when Tregan began attacking a region called Irfea, Tregans army defeated the Irfeans army easily. After that Tregan began attacking Yrien, but because Yrien was stronger as thought. Tregans king asked Kirej for help, Kirej's leader accepted and also began attacking Yrien. Uqera quickly joined forces with Yrien toe stop the march of their enemies. The final battle was held at the Yrien plains, Ifian -You- led the squadron that directly attacked the king of Tregan. After hours of battling, Ifian and his men reached the Tregan king. ifian even got the chance of killing him, but he hesitated. Because of that He was stopped before he could kill the king.


Your story

You are Ifian, and your captured by the enemies. All hope is lost in you, until one man tells of a island beyond Uqera. He tells that that land is called Olequa, you decide to give it a shot and escape to that land. When you want to leave, the man asks if he can come with you. You say yes, knowing he´ll only make the escape heavier cause he cant fight for him self. You promise him that You´ll get him to Olequa.

Ill give the main characters as soon as possible, because im still working on them, same for screenshots

 

[Bobot]

A war starts because some dude attacks some other dude for no reason. That's remarkably logical, in the sense that I myself'd be pissed if some guy killed me arbitrarily. Your grammar makes comprehension a little tougher than I'd like, and you're giving a "what", without a "why". If that's what you want, go for it, but I'm finding it hard to immerse myself without any sort of reason to pretty much any of this.

Also, I'm doubting the logic of a Big Damn King riding into battle at a random plain that's not even on his own territory. If he was going to do something that daft, may I say, it's an act worthy of being offed. And if Ifian is so good to be in a position to kill the king right off, why does he wind up in random detainment? And why does he let Useless Chum in on his ambiguous escape plan, if he's, well, a useless chum? Hard to believe one'd endanger their One Hope with pure dead weight. (And why hasn't the past been forgiven? Hmmmm!)

Personally, you ought to have just waited until you had more substance than two little paragraphs, but it's your thing. Do whatever.

 

[jdollimount]

Yeah you should have some screenshots and some actuall footage and or more then just the plot of the game because right not its not really a project but more an idea

 

[Despain v.1]

You are Ifian...

No I'm not. That name is terrible.

The final battle was held at the Yrien plains, Ifian -You- led the squadron that directly attacked the king of Tregan. After hours of battling, Ifian and his men reached the Tregan king. ifian even got the chance of killing him, but he hesitated

Someone who would hesitate to do that wouldn't be in a leadership position to begin with. Unless his army is full of idiots.

 

[Nakama]

Story

A war was going on between two big sides, the regions Tregan and Kirej at one side and Yrien and Uqera on the other. The war started when Tregan began attacking a region called Irfea, Tregans army defeated the Irfeans army easily. After that Tregan began attacking Yrien, but because Yrien was stronger as thought. Tregans king asked Kirej for help, Kirej's leader accepted and also began attacking Yrien. Uqera quickly joined forces with Yrien toe stop the march of their enemies. The final battle was held at the Yrien plains, Ifian -you- led the squadron that directly attacked the king of Tregan. After hours of battling, Ifian and his men reached the Tregan king. Ifian even got the chance of killing him, but he hesitated because of that he was stopped before he could kill the king.


Your story

You are Ifian, and your captured by the enemies. All hope is lost in you, until one man tells of a island beyond Uqera. He tells that that land is called Olequa, you decide to give it a shot and escape to that land. When you want to leave, the man asks if he can come with you. You say yes, knowing he´ll only make the escape heavier cause he can't fight for himself. You promise him that You´ll get him to Olequa.

I'll give the main characters as soon as possible, because I'm still working on them, same for screenshots.

First tip grammar and punctuation, they are the first step to impress. A bagillion people have said this but it is always so easily overlooked. As it is said, "If they don't have good grammar and punctuation in the post then how do I know if there will be good grammar in the game?" (that's my own versioin XD) Second you need reasons for actions, what everyone's been asking is why. I see no backstory or reasons for any of the actions so far. You should have come with a longer more indepth, unless you can come with a lot more soon this could get closed.

~That's my advice take it or leave it

~RoaringSasuke