Underneath the Trees (concepts in action!)

[Hazama]

Underneath the Trees
by Hazama.
http://www.joxxi.net/rpgm/title_screen.jpg[/IMG]


Story:
Underneath the Trees is a story about a boy who finds a whole new world underneath the trees. With seemingly no way back to the surface, his journey takes him on a quest for new friends, new adventures and the occasional 32oz Slurpee.

Gameplay:
This is my first RPGMakerXP project. I wanted to do something different, so I decided against having a traditional RPG battle system. It's really in concept form at the moment and has probably been done better elsewhere, but I wanted to attempt an action style of gameplay using events.
http://www.joxxi.net/rpgm/screen1.jpg[/IMG]

Music:
It's not a good game without good music. Feel free to judge me. All songs in the game are 100% originals by me.
Main Theme

Additional Screenshots:
http://www.joxxi.net/rpgm/screen2.jpg[/IMG]
http://www.joxxi.net/rpgm/screen3.jpg[/IMG]

Download link:
Underneath the Trees

I would absolutely love comments. I have much of the rest of the story and game planned out, but I feel without the drive to complete this, it may never happen. And yes, I know that the graphics are all stock. As I said before, this is my first attempt. I fully intend on changing the look and feel if I continue.

Spoiler: Hidden extras and secrets

-Try looking at the clocks in the skyworld elevator.
- Most background items can be interacted with. Try looking at different sections of the same object.
- No, you can't take damage yet. Sorry! Next version.
- Remember to find a place to "sleep" in the cave.
- Did you buy a summer camp uniform? Of course you didn't... but you wanted to. Give it time... those summer camp uniforms and the creepy guy have a lot more story to tell... in the next version.
- Did you find the secret items on the first screen?

 

[Hazama]

Let's make this interesting. The first five people to play this game [ to the beach ] and give me real, actual feedback, criticism or praise in this thread gets paypal'd $5... I know it's using stock graphics, that's not the kind of criticism I'm really looking for.

I really just want to know if I'm on the right track when it comes to game creation or not.

Thanks!!

--- Haz

 

[Twin Matrix]

Well, the mapping is horrible.

 

[holloway]

Your maps are too square and empty. The first image could work fine, I guess, if it's in the middle of a field, but the other two are far too bare- question, have you ever seen a straight beach? Try corners and inlets and the like. On the second map, I suggest decreasing the map size and adding more items to the map- it looks like a little encampment, so how about using the dirt tile to make a circle near the tent, putting a fire tile on top of it and a log on each side.

Simply put, look at real life. Fair enough it is fantasy, so some things are allowed (look at Shadow Of The Collosus, that's got huge exapnses of land. Sadly this doesn't work in 2D as you can't have drops and hills), however camp sites should be more than a tent and a guy in the middle of nowhere.

Edit: You also should probably credit the creator of that ABS. It looks like Mo's, but could be Near's or anybodys.

 

[Hazama]

Your maps are too square and empty. The first image could work fine, I guess, if it's in the middle of a field, but the other two are far too bare- question, have you ever seen a straight beach? Try corners and inlets and the like. On the second map, I suggest decreasing the map size and adding more items to the map- it looks like a little encampment, so how about using the dirt tile to make a circle near the tent, putting a fire tile on top of it and a log on each side.

Simply put, look at real life. Fair enough it is fantasy, so some things are allowed (look at Shadow Of The Collosus, that's got huge exapnses of land. Sadly this doesn't work in 2D as you can't have drops and hills), however camp sites should be more than a tent and a guy in the middle of nowhere.

Edit: You also should probably credit the creator of that ABS. It looks like Mo's, but could be Near's or anybodys.

What ABS? That is 100% event based off the top of my head. There's not a single thing in the game that is taken from anywhere else, minus the default graphics. I didn't even find this community until like... two weeks ago and I've been working on this on and off for about a year. [ ok, so more off than on. ]

And do I honestly think your criticism is worth $5? Well, yours yes... but "Well, your mapping is horrible" isn't exactly what I was looking for. I was more looking for "nice humor" or "fun songs" or "damn your voice acting rules" but I'll take what I can get... for better or worse.

Well, in any case, thanks... I'm $10 lighter if you can message me with what email address to send the $5 to.

--- Haz

 

[Denko]

I don't want five dollars, so don't worry about that. Not like I have enough to say. Hah.
Well, your mapping is lacking in some areas like elevation, and detail. I know it's hard to map. The best advice I can give is how I learned to map (in my opinion) well: pay attention to demos and full games made by this community. Often the ones that actually finish full games or have very full featured demos are very capable mappers. Of course, what is seen as "good" mapping is subjective, but usually there's certain levels of capability.
Also, it never hurts to spice up your game with one or two simple scripts. Honestly, after playing many games using default everything, it gets a little boring and I lose interest. So I would say that adding some scripts is always a good thing, and it's not hard to do if you find the simple ones. People can benefit a lot from a Custom Message System like ccoa's or dubealex's.
So keep that in mind, I guess.
EDIT: Also, I forgot to mention, your filesize is big for an RTP game. Is that because of the custom music?
EDIT2: Some things I want to add. >_<
I played it, and I couldn't get to wherever the game was going because the ticket down to the town cost too much.
I've found that several small interconnected maps in place of a large one helps the player know where he's going and gives a better sense of detail. Your large, sparse maps had me often lost because of this.
Your voice acting was cool, and well done, although I could tell it was all your voice. But I still enjoyed it.
The custom music was refreshing, it was pretty well done, I would say. I can tell you spent a lot of time on it. Most of it fit the feeling of the game very well, it was dreamlike in that quality.
Your story didn't really go anywhere, I didn't really get it.
Your battle system is kind of bare, maybe having stronger monsters take more hits to kill would add some depth.
You have to think of the player playing your game; how would he react to this? Since you made it, that's why you know what to do next. Put yourself in the shoes of the player. Ask yourself these questions whenever you are making the game.
1. Is the current objective clear?
2. Will the player know what to do to fufill the objective?
3. Is the objective possible? (This one applied to your train ticket costing way more than I could figure out how to make in the game.)
The thing, though, that would help your game the best, is mapping. That's the one thing you could do that would help make this game better. Remember: small, detailed maps are much more clear and easier to understand than large, sparse maps. The occasional large map is fine, but it should be really filled with things and interesting to walk around in.

 

[Hazama]

Denko,

Thanks for the advice. You brought up some interesting points I'd never thought of before. There is a lot of story that I wanted to add in between the points in the game. Unfortunately with what I have done, I know "what to do" and "how it's going to end" so I can play the game based on that.

It is very possible to buy the ticket, on that very screen infact. Most background items that look "suspicious" can be interacted with. There is a whole scenario that I haven't finished yet that brings the character items, money, etc... to the point where it would be possible to purchase the ticket NOT using the method that is available at the moment. On the screen with the elevator, there's a box with what looks like gold sticking out of it. If you go over and try to open it, as long as your gold is less than 1,000, you can take it. Then you'll have enough to purchase the ticket.

But that brings up an even better point, again... as the designer, I know it's there, but the player shouldn't have to go looking for it, though I felt it had a "oh, shiny" factor that may have enticed the player into trying to take it.

Another thing I had to struggle with was that in the "house cave" that's floating after the long bridge, if you climb the ladder and go to the center of the circle and "sleep", a sort of story sequence is played out, but it's not really something that players have to do.

Thank you all for your comments. I'm probably going to keep many elements from this, but I'm going to start over and make it not only more exciting, more fun to play, but also flow better and give the players a reason to want to keep playing.