The White Horse

[Mundane]

This is a short experimental prose piece I did in my AP Literature course in high school. The objective was to take all that we had read and studied throughout the class to come up with some sort of creative representation of the knowledge. Having read several dystopian novels that year, such as 1984, Brave New World, and A Clockwork Orange, I decided to take my inspiration from the darker side of the courses teachings. Instead of doing a silly skit or a board game as some others did, I went about drafting The White Horse.

The story began with a very standard and rough first person narration. I wasn't liking how it was coming along. I approached my teacher and asked her how she felt about the second-person narrative form. She said she had read very little in the form, but would be intrigued with what I managed to do with it. She made a hint to the fact she believed it should be in present tense, as to further put the reader in the place of the protagonist. I merely smiled and agreed, knowing what the story would be. I never found out the grade I received. All the kids in my class seemed oddly confused that of all the things I could have done I wrote a sickly morose story. I also never got any criticisms or praise. So my intent with this thread is to get some. I hope you enjoy the story. I have provided it in a very small .PDF for your convenience and reading pleasure.

Click Here to View the The White Horse in your browser. Or you can Right Click > "Save Link As..." to save it for later.

Thanks for your time and interest.

 

[OS]

It's been a long time since I saw a Second Person PoV done like this. Interesting.

 

[dadevvtsvre]

This is mostly personal opinion but I feel like being written in the past tense is making this story read very awkwardly. imo it would increasy the sense of urgency (and would flow a lot better) if it was written in present tense, instead.

I'm usually not a big fan of second-person because the majority of the time it feels like HEY GUYS LOOK AT ME I'M WRITING IN SECOND-PERSON WHICH NOBODY EVER DOES I'M SO SPECIAL but this was actually really well done! Why is it in PDF, though? It's kind of annoying to read it that way :|

 

[Mundane]

Thanks for the comments guys.

@dadevester: Your comment on the tense is funny, because my teacher said the exact same thing before I drafted it. The only reason I didn't was because I wanted the ending to flow more. I felt the ending in the present would be strange given the circumstances.