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The Red Crusade | XP

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Kenneth Leonard":3id8z6k1 said:
What man is a man who does not make the world better...
Hello everyone, I've been working on this project for over a year now. Ever since my internet provider shutdown, I've been working on the demo and graphics for the game. I'm having trouble finding a Scripter and Spriter so if you would like to help, just P.M me or post here! Thanks and enjoy!

Next Update: More pic's, update on features, more character images, Clean-up.

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There may be some loopholes in the storyline but they will be fixed soon. Thanks!
.::PAST::.
It is said that deep under the Arabian Sea, lies a series of islands in which a great Crusade for land took place in the years of 1182 through 1188. These islands came to be known as Ryllum, Kakasta, and Bella. Alakmed Mesuma, ruler of the desert city of Anteox located on the northern-most part of Kakasta, felt he needed to expand his empire and led a mighty Crusade against a small port town named Kergum. But little did he know, Kergum had one of the most fearful military forces known to man at the time. The small city fought back, crushing Anteox’s military forces to a mear 15,000 soldiers for what was a total of 40,000. Alakmed thought of a way to weaken the cities forces then attack head on. First, Alakmed would attack his enemy head-on and take them by surprise. Next, he would burn, kill and pillage any crops, livestock, and steal their technology for his own use. It was as if he wanted them gone forever.

Kergum fell into utter chaos as Alakmed’s plan was set into action. He watched as the small cities warriors suffered from starvation and illness. His final step was to flank them from both sides eventually meeting up with his other patrol then scatter throughout the city and take anything that was left. Alakmed call his plan Cut, Clear, and Conquer. Over time, Anteox’s forces grew and Alakmed became a more popular ruler and well-trusted king.

In the year 1172, Alakmed wanted to claim yet another small port city to use as a military checkpoint. He saw that his neighboring city, Tyress was at Civil War and figured it was the perfect opportunity. Anteox forces joined the Shasten (south) side of the war and fought the north which was the stronger of the two at the time. Soon, the war was over and the North had been defeated. With the South weak and weary, Alakmed decided it was time. He soon declared war on the South, a battle in which he only lost a handful of soldiers an easy victory for Alakmed. Nations all around soon began to worry and fear the man named Alakmed Mesuma.

Years later, 1175 in fact, Alakmed's campaign was in full force. He had control over more than 20 cities and 7 port towns making him the biggest force possible. Alakmed soon decided to take the war to the furthest city. This way he could bring the forces to Anteox at the same time. He decided to take out the strongest nations first. These three cities named Cidel, Lithocris, and Loxlee all fought back nearly destroying Anteox once and for all. Cidel and Lithocris fell but Loxlee delivered the final blow and pushed Alakmed back to Anteox.

Bruised and broken from war, Loxlee suffered more than just a violent raid to the city. Their king, Martin was slain leaving Loxlee without an heir to the throne. Martin's oldest son would have been king, if he was not taken as a Prisoner of War. Alakmed swore that in seven years, he would be back to finish his Crusade and claim every city to himself. This, was the violent war known as The Red Crusade
.::PRESENT::.
It's been seven years since that day and Loxlee has made a full recovery. Everyone has left the attack behind them and began their new lives.

Our hero, a young boy by the name of Kenneth Leonard has just celebrated his 16th birthday. Kent watched the dreadful attack on his city that day and watched his father, Martin die at his feet. For his birthday, Kent receives his first weapon, an actual Longbow. Thrilled by his new present, he travels to Darrel Woods with his best friend Rehia, a young adventurous girl with a knack for exploration.

The two soon find themselves lost and begin to wander. Minutes later, they stumble upon a lost church that was attacked during the raid. Curiously searching the building, Kent finds a charred piece of parchment. It stated that Alakmed would return with an even larger army to finish his campaign. Later on, Kent begins to hears voices coming from his village and the two rush back home leaving Kent's arrows behind.

The two stop at the forest edge and overhear a Cidelin Messenger speaking about new leadership for Loxlee. The man says that whoever is the son of Martin shall be king in other words, Adam. The messenger soon finds that Adam was taken and appoints Kent as the new King. 16 years is old enough to rule. He also stated that Cidel would lend Loxlee their entire army is they agree to fight along side them and finish Alakmed's crusade for good. They agree as much as Kent's mother hates the idea. Kent will set out for Cidel first thing in the morning, according to his mother...

Later that night, Kent and Rehia sneak out to Darrel forest again to find more evidence of the raid seven years ago. Kent leaves a note that he has already left for Cidel in search of training on his kitchen table for his mother to see. The two sneak out of their quiet town without saying goodbye. This will be their greatest journey ever…
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Protagonists
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Kenneth Leonard
Age: 16-19
Profession: Loxleen Crusader/Knight - King
Bio: Son of Martin and present king of Loxlee. Because of his brother's capture seven years ago, Kent must become king at an early age of 16 by order of the Cidelian government to help fight Alakmed and end his Crusade. Kent is supposed to travel to Cidel but runs into Balian along the way. It is Balian who will teach him all he needs to know in order to become a soldier.
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Balian Riley
Age: 24-27
Profession: Loxleen Crusader/Knight - Duke of Loxlee
Bio: Former knight for the Loxleen/Cidelian military, Balian served along side Martin till the end. Not only did he lose a great friend, but his wife and daughter Ellen were killed during the raid as well. Balian was banished from Loxlee and Cidel for murder, hoping to get revenge for his loved ones. Instead, he killed a civilian by mistake and was forced to live on his own. No one has seen him since...

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Rehia Camoran
Age: 15-18
Profession: Loxleen citizen - Arcanist
Bio: Rehia Camoran is a cheerful, carefree girl who just loves adventure IF her father allows it. Daughter of the best damn Blacksmith in Loxlee, Rehia was born for adventure. Best friends with Kenneth since an early age, Rehia has developed a crush on Kent over the years as a teen.

[NO GRAPHIC ATM]
Adam Leonard
Age: 26-29
Profession: Loxleen Crossbowman - Knight
Bio: Taken as a POW by Alakmed during the raid, Adam once served along side his father in the field of war. Adam is also brother to Kent, who has taken his place on the throne as king of Loxlee.
Antagonists
[NO GRAPHIC ATM]
Alakmed Mesuma
Age: 30-33
Profession: King (dictator) of Anteox - Cashalla(Antexian Knight)
Bio: Known by all as the most ruthless man ever to be born on earth. Some say that he is the son of Satan himself. Alakmed leads his army yet again to take Loxlee and any other nation he desires.
[NO GRAPHIC ATM]
Antexian Militia
Age: 12 to ---
Profession: Calvary - Archers - Infantry - Siege units - (Slaves)
Bio:The Antexian army consists of a grand total of half a million warriors. 90% of these so called warriors were once or are slaves under Alakmed’s rule. Alakmed promises freedom to the men and women if they capture every city on the Rallus Iles. These people will never get their freedom while Alakmed is alive.
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This is the very first map of Darrel Woods you set foot in. The forest will be big and have a good amount of entertainment for you to enjoy
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This is Lake Bellows located directly north of Darrel Forest. Very good fishing spot!
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This is the remains of the Loxleen Church attacked during the raid. Kent and Rehia investigate here where they find a "Will" that tell them that Alakmed will return. He said so himself...
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This is Balian's camp after finding Kenneth. Kenneth and Rehia both sleep while Balian packs for their trip to Cidel. The man that is awake is not Balian's Sprite, he is just a back-up untill I can find a spriter.
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This is a map I made of the Rallus Iles. As you can see Loxlee is on the island of Rylumm and Anteox is on the desert wasteland of Chasata. Took me only about 3 hours to make this. Few errors but those will be fixed soon!
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In the demo V.1
  • Lockpicking Minigame to unlock certin doors and chests. Very fun!
    Skill to level up
  • Pickpocket citizens and reap their goods but don't get caught!
    Skill to level up
  • Swimming allows you to, well; go swimming!
  • Fishing will allow you to catch fish from any body of water. Sea or freshwater sources.
  • Unique quests (5 in demo) will allow you to have hours of fun instead of following the storyline.
  • Playable Cavern system allows you to explore caves and take goods from them. Caves are very dark so be sure you bring a torch with you. Watch for traps!
  • Crafting system will let you make Arrows with stronger tips, potions, cures, medication, food, and many more!
    Skill to level up
Not in the demo V.1
  • Fully Interactive environment allows you to take any log from a tree (make arrows), harvest plants, and talk to anyone.
  • Unique ABS based off Mr Mo's ABS 4.5 - Advanced sprite anamations!
  • More quests will continue your experience for loads more fun.
The Red Crusade Wants you!
I am currently looking for anyone will to help out in the project! The current positions are as follows...

2 - Spriters
1 - Character Artist
1 - Musician


Unfortunately, I am not allowed to have a PayPal account or able to spend money online, but…I will either Map, Create Graphics, or make a world map for your game as payment for your help. If you would like to help, please feel free to post in this thread or P.M or E-mail me at Neonfire13@AOL.com
Thanks! Hope you have enjoyed everything here!
 
Edit: Started writing this before I'd read the whole topic.

Well, first of all, I like your premise. The Crusades are absolutely fascinating, and a game based around them has the potential to be really different and cool. But from your story description, I gotta ask: where's the religion? If there's no Christianity, it's not a crusade; hell, the word is derived from crux, the Latin word for cross. If it's a Muslim holy war, and your setting and characters seem to be Arabic so prolly, it's a jihad (which, interestingly enough, was invented as a counter to the Crusades, but I digress).

Anyway, reading on, it seems that your story is more about a military campaign than...story. It'd be pretty cool if you did some research on the subject and added in some of the social and cultural implications of this sort of conflict. One thing about the Crusades is that they really were territorial wars dressed up in fanaticism, so you're spot-on otherwise. But adding that bit of hypocritical justification is always nice, and religion adds an extra dimension to conflicts that can be really interesting.

Uh...your characters are white people with English names, and the Arabics are now evil? :( Guess that's not surprising, but I'm disappointed. A word of advice, though: for the love of god, don't make your 16-year-old king a genius tactician. If you want him to be good, fine, but at the very least he's inexperienced, so he should be unsure of himself and make a lot of mistakes. I also blargh at teenagers in general, and I'm not a fan of stories where the TINY BUT RIGHTEOUS BAND OF HEROES triumphs over the FACELESS MASSES OF THE ENEMY against IMPOSSIBLE ODDS, but eh.

I'd also like to see some older characters--dukes just weren't 24 normally, and it feels weird in a game with historical flavor, whereas straight-up fantasy can sort of get away with it (although it still irks me). And what's with your girl wanting adventure? That's sorta unrealistic for a quasi-historical game, or at least trite, and she also seems like a generic love interest. And she has a "crush" on the king? That implies puppy love and lack of seriousness, not to mention equal social standing in that you're up close and personal instead of worshiping from afar (e.g. school peers, and it just flat-out wouldn't happen if she isn't nobility). Honestly, if it were me, I'd skip the love interest altogether, but yeah. The other characters could be interesting if you do them right.

This has some potential, but right now it's not really capitalizing on it.

Edit: Oh yeah, this kind of reminds me of The Lions of Al-Rassan by Guy Gavriel Kay. Might like it if you're into this kind of thing, and it's a great example of how religious war and cultural clashes can be done well. It's a bit on the long side, though.
 
You must not have read it throughly...
Like I said, everything is not finished in the post yet. Alakmed started this crusade for 2 reasons...land and because he thought he had a vision by god to seize every bit of land he could.. (crazy)

The game does not entirely revolve around the accual crusades happening at the time. This is it's own little war.

A Crusade does not have to be a religious war even though it is the main idea of it. It can be for land, religion, or whatever. But mainly, this is for land...

Oh Kenneth DOES start out VERY inexperienced. It's Balian who will teach him these things...
 
I started writing that post before I'd read the entire thing.

I know it's not about the actual Crusades; I assumed you were basing it around the general concept, since you used a term that refers to a very specific idea in the context of war, and the reference to the Arabian Sea (historically closer to the Mediterranean, but whatever) and Arab names convinced me you were deliberately evoking the similarity. Plus, you're capitalizing it, and capitalizing it means you're talking about the Crusades, not just some quest for righteousness or whatever. Given this, the word is misleading right off the bat. See, the Crusades refer to a series of Christian military expeditions to reclaim Jerusalem and take over a bunch of land while they were at it, so I assumed your land was gonna get invaded by some Johns and Richards. And with the way you've set it up, I wouldn't be surprised if other people think the same thing. The problems with this go a little beyond confusion, though.

If I were you, I'd do one of two things:
1. Keep the historical flavor, but turn your Arabs into the protagonists and maybe chuck some religion in there while you're at it. This would make your game cool and unique, and I vote for it.
2. Get rid of all references to Arabs (including names), because since it's pretty much the exact opposite of what actually happened, it looks like you're rewriting history to make Muslims the aggressors. (Why not stick an unrelated culture in there, like the Chinese or something?) It's especially touchy in the current political climate, particularly if Alakmed is doing this because he thinks God told him to and even you call him crazy. It doesn't bode well for you peopling the other side with well-rounded, empathetic villains.

I mean, it's your game and you should do what you like with it, but you should know that it can come off the wrong way.
 
Update: Added the screenshots, fix up the thread a bit.

V Moon: Thanks but no thanks. I love the idea of the so called "Arabs" in my game. I've already made too much background on the Villian and have spent too much time making things for him. I'm not saying that the Arabs are bad. Alakmed uses his citizens as slaves to get what he wants. The actual citizens themselfs are good/kind loving people.
 
It's got some potential, kid.

Hope to see a demo soon. My only concern is your main characters age and their position as supposed lovers. If they're in a seriously intimate relationship at that age, is that a good example for the kids?

I'm only messing with you.
Sincerely,
Siegfried Muller, the MillionDollarManiacâ„¢
 
Sirus01":2qrct4h1 said:
Update: Added the screenshots, fix up the thread a bit.

V Moon: Thanks but no thanks. I love the idea of the so called "Arabs" in my game. I've already made too much background on the Villian and have spent too much time making things for him. I'm not saying that the Arabs are bad. Alakmed uses his citizens as slaves to get what he wants. The actual citizens themselfs are good/kind loving people.
Well, sure; like I said, it's your game, and you should do what you feel is best. :P I'm probably reading too much into it, but you've hit on a pet peeve of mine, and you can't please everyone. Nonetheless, I wish you luck with this; it's a unique idea and has the potential to be quite interesting.

Screens look good, by the way.
 
MillionDollarManiac: Their not really loves, lol. Just Boyfriend and Girlfriend. Rehia has known Kent for a very long time and it's just one of those things for a teen to fall in love.

V Moon: Thanks for the post and thanks for helping me. I took some advice you've posted above and edited the thread anyways. I'm thinking about making mini bosses or something of the sort. I'm not sure though.

I'll add some better graphics to the thread soon.
 
.::UPDATE::.
I've added a new screenshot, The Loxleen Church Ruins. This is where Kent and Rehia find the note left behind that tells them Alakmed will be back. Take a look!

I've also added Rehia Profile pic.

The next update will include more maps, more Profile pics, and a thread clean-up.
Thanks!
 
It's been ages since I last talked to you about this game. At least you have fixed it up more and decided to follow a solid path, I'm glad to see you are still working on it as well. I wish ya luck man.
~Axe
 
Thanks a lot Axe. I know, it's been forever since we've talked! I am never going to give up on this project. There is too much I've already done.

The only thing is finding the right amount of help...

.::UPDATE::.
- Added the map of the Rallus Iles. Made this in Macromedia Fireworks! Enjoy!
- Did a clean-up of the Storyline. Better worded, grammer errors fixed.
 
ElChristo: I used a graphics program called Macromedia Fireworks. I drew this map out on computer paper first then scanned it. Added some live filters, text and tada, a map.

Kicks: I agree with you there... I'm going to have to make the fire's light and the fire itself a bit brighter.

How do you like the map everyone? I've got an updated version that I'm going to upload soon. The new one will have rivers, lakes, and a key.
 
I would just like to say after my project's epic fail, I have joined TRC as lead scripter. Its a great project and hope you guys check it out once the demo is done.
 
Thanks Sobe, If a Mod decided to read this, please do not ban or do anything to Sobe. I have not given up on this project. I've just been working in the dark  :thumb:

The thread is now back...
 
Why did I miss this tread? It looks great. A few questions though.

The small city fought back, crushing Anteox’s military forces to a mear 100,000 soldiers.
A small city crushed an army to a mere 100,000 soldiers? Did Kergum have access to machine guns? This shouldn't be possible unless the difference in technology is absurd.

First, Alakmed would flank his enemy and take them by surprise. Next, he would burn, kill and pillage any crops, livestock, and steal their technology for his own use. It was as if he wanted them gone forever.

Kergum fell into utter chaos as Alakmed’s plan was set into action. He watched as the small cities warriors suffered from starvation and illness. His final step was to flank them from both sides eventually meeting up with his other patrol.
This confuses me a bit. The way you describe the plan, he would first take the city by flanking it and then pillage and burn. The next paragraph however describes flanking as the final step and the pillaging and burning was done first.

The latter actually matches how Sun Tsu recommends one to take a walled city. Avoid attacking it directly and instead claim anything of value surrounding the city. According to Sun Tsu, the enemies will then come for you, but I suppose them staying behind the walls and starving also works.

Anyway, there's a few minor details that seem strange, but mostly I'm seeing some really good ideas. For example, I love how you bothered to describe the enemy soldiers. Usually enemy soldiers in RPGs have no other identity than being soldiers and are barely recognizable as humans. Also, the idea of a party member trying to get revenge and accidentally having killed an innocent is simple, but great.
 
Crystalgate: lol, now that I realize it, your right. 100,000 is a bit too much. Kergum had the greatest military force at the time but still. I've edited it to where Anteox only had 40,000 men-at-arms and was crushed to a mear 15,000.

Remember, Kergum had some of the best tactics for war at the time. And also, Anteox only has slaves fighting. Kergum has warriors, seige weapons, etc. for such a small nation, they could sure hold their own.

Edited the flanking part as well. :thumb:
 

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