sixtyandaquarter
Member
this thread serves two purposes, post to tell funny interresting or fucked up virginity loses, and first time sexual experiences, and secondly, so we can laugh at wyatt who won't find a reason outside of rosey palm to post. And if he does we're closing this fucking thread the moment he does.
I guess I'll start.
Because well, I have to. I opened the thread. And I'm gonna be completely assanine and post THREE - count them THREE (AH AH AH) virginity loses D:
Just to leave this crap open to for some of our more pathetic members - you know who you are, and the sad thing is we know too :s
At around eight or nine or so a friend of my sister's brought me into my sister's room and locked the door - since that room locked at the time, and proceeded to beat the living shit out of me. My sister is 6 years older about, and the friend a tad older, so you can figure out the age, and then that lead to -apparently- heterosexual vaginal rape. Which is a funny phrase. Heterosexual vaginal raping.
So there. There's your tragic story. A eight year old getting beat up and raped by a pedophile chick and couldn't tell the story for a while cause when he did no one believed him, he got beat up more, and eventually like just tried to joke about it. There. You can now officially post your fucked up shit stories, I opened the gates for ya.
Okay, the "second" virginity lose, which is the humorous one. Here we go.
*ahem* First actual girl friend, two weeks and we're all awkward. So we were making a bet about something, who could get away with the bigger lies and things like that, stupid shit. Who would beat who in -god fucking trivia games and shit. So nerdy. So we kept raising the stakes. And boom. Intercourse! 11 year old's getting some! Except 11 year old doesn't know what he's doing. And fumbles. And... almost goes deaf with a resounding scream as he enters the wrong hole. So eventually gets it right, but is so embarrassed now he can't really perform. And the li'l girlfriend is still giving off an angry glare. And ends up just kind've deciding to do something else altogether. All awkward. And wondering with his 11 year old mind, "Does this count?"
So yeah. Funny embarrassing stories, go for it - I got ya there first too.
Ho-ho but I'm not done yet!
We still have an "actual" virginity lose D:
Even though I lost it at age 8 and a half, some people would say "no, no no - that doesn't count! you're still a Wyatt". Apparently virginity is something you don't "lose" it's something you "give" to someone. So even with that, well, I still got the 11 year old story where I bumbled up and -oops wrong hole, but again. "no, no, no," some would say, because I hadn't "finished". Apparently for some, you actually need to ejaculate. So to them, I was still a Wyatt.
So here I am. Recovering from the eventual break up with my first real girlfriend. I'm 12 now. And I have another girlfriend. And this time we're in the backseat of her mom's car. And no, her mom's not around - we just took the keys and went there cause it was parked around the corner, inconspicuous, and had -best of all to a 12 year old like us- tainted windows :D
There's "magic in the air", and everythings nice. And, without thought, the heavy petting turns around. Whoa, feeling her slight boobage for the first time and being all "whoa i'm touching her boob :D" and just pathetic for a 12 year old back in the day. I mean everyone acted tough, and like they knew everything, but how many actually did? And next thing I know, I'm in there. And a whole like 10 minutes later I'm tired. And exhausted. And, even to the nay sayers before, no longer a Wyatt.
I had done the deed both completely, and of my own accord! And it was "romantic" and there was "snuggling" and there was li'l kid pre-teen 60 all happy and boastful in his own mind. So there's your happy story too!
Now get to fucking posting. You have no excuses not to share.
Tragedy. Comedy. Romance. We've got the corner stones of entertainment covered, so post away.
I guess I'll start.
Because well, I have to. I opened the thread. And I'm gonna be completely assanine and post THREE - count them THREE (AH AH AH) virginity loses D:
Just to leave this crap open to for some of our more pathetic members - you know who you are, and the sad thing is we know too :s
At around eight or nine or so a friend of my sister's brought me into my sister's room and locked the door - since that room locked at the time, and proceeded to beat the living shit out of me. My sister is 6 years older about, and the friend a tad older, so you can figure out the age, and then that lead to -apparently- heterosexual vaginal rape. Which is a funny phrase. Heterosexual vaginal raping.
So there. There's your tragic story. A eight year old getting beat up and raped by a pedophile chick and couldn't tell the story for a while cause when he did no one believed him, he got beat up more, and eventually like just tried to joke about it. There. You can now officially post your fucked up shit stories, I opened the gates for ya.
Okay, the "second" virginity lose, which is the humorous one. Here we go.
*ahem* First actual girl friend, two weeks and we're all awkward. So we were making a bet about something, who could get away with the bigger lies and things like that, stupid shit. Who would beat who in -god fucking trivia games and shit. So nerdy. So we kept raising the stakes. And boom. Intercourse! 11 year old's getting some! Except 11 year old doesn't know what he's doing. And fumbles. And... almost goes deaf with a resounding scream as he enters the wrong hole. So eventually gets it right, but is so embarrassed now he can't really perform. And the li'l girlfriend is still giving off an angry glare. And ends up just kind've deciding to do something else altogether. All awkward. And wondering with his 11 year old mind, "Does this count?"
So yeah. Funny embarrassing stories, go for it - I got ya there first too.
Ho-ho but I'm not done yet!
We still have an "actual" virginity lose D:
Even though I lost it at age 8 and a half, some people would say "no, no no - that doesn't count! you're still a Wyatt". Apparently virginity is something you don't "lose" it's something you "give" to someone. So even with that, well, I still got the 11 year old story where I bumbled up and -oops wrong hole, but again. "no, no, no," some would say, because I hadn't "finished". Apparently for some, you actually need to ejaculate. So to them, I was still a Wyatt.
So here I am. Recovering from the eventual break up with my first real girlfriend. I'm 12 now. And I have another girlfriend. And this time we're in the backseat of her mom's car. And no, her mom's not around - we just took the keys and went there cause it was parked around the corner, inconspicuous, and had -best of all to a 12 year old like us- tainted windows :D
There's "magic in the air", and everythings nice. And, without thought, the heavy petting turns around. Whoa, feeling her slight boobage for the first time and being all "whoa i'm touching her boob :D" and just pathetic for a 12 year old back in the day. I mean everyone acted tough, and like they knew everything, but how many actually did? And next thing I know, I'm in there. And a whole like 10 minutes later I'm tired. And exhausted. And, even to the nay sayers before, no longer a Wyatt.
I had done the deed both completely, and of my own accord! And it was "romantic" and there was "snuggling" and there was li'l kid pre-teen 60 all happy and boastful in his own mind. So there's your happy story too!
Now get to fucking posting. You have no excuses not to share.
Tragedy. Comedy. Romance. We've got the corner stones of entertainment covered, so post away.
