The Gun (short story)

[kaze950]

This is a short story I wrote for school. I had to write one based on the perspective of an object. It's a high school class, so you don't have to be Shakespeare to get an A. Hell, you don't even have to be Christopher Paolini. What do you think of it?



THE GUN

I…I…the gun thought in a shaky, uneven tone. I didn’t mean to kill him! Honest, I didn’t. The gun wished for a voice, movement, or something to help him convey his thoughts. It was prisoner, kidnapped and seized by the men in blue uniforms. Look all you want, I tell you! It wasn’t my fault, the voice continued to helplessly think, hoping that somehow his thoughts would be conveyed to the lab workers.

“Ballistics proves it,â€

 

[bashful crobat]

Italics are not a suitable replacement for punctuation, just mildly irritating.

 

[kaze950]

Italics are commonly used to indicate thought. Quotation marks are generally only used for things that are actually spoken.

 

[bashful crobat]

That doesn't change the fact that I wanted to claw my eyes out.

 

[serrated_colon]

you're overusing it though
seriously, this story is in the omniscent third person, so quotation is pretty appropriate unless it's the third person, or to be used sparingly.

 

[Despain]

Don't center your shit, it only makes it harder to read.

 

[candle]

I just don't really like it.  I don't "get" the fact that the gun is thinking.  I know this is your story and you can write whatever the hell you want, but it just doesn't make sense to me.  I think it would have been better if the gun was a mean pit bull that had been raised to attack on sight and was constantly abused by its owners.

 

[kaze950]

True, its not something I would normally write. The assignment though was the perspective of an object, so I don't think a dog would count.

 

[candle]

Depends on who you talk to...