The Fairest of Them All...

[Lene]

Not much of a debate, but I was wondering, what do people think about this hang up about being "fair skinned", especially when it comes to women? What experience have you had with this?

With men it's okay to be dark but, in quite a lot of cultures a woman who is too dark is not attractive.

Search for articles regarding this and you'll find that this phenomenon is practically universal.

Quite a few of my Nigerian friends have skin lighteners or brighteners to make themselves "lighter" or more "attractive". Heck, even my sister uses it. It's something I really can't understand. The cheaper stuff doesn't even work, and the more expensive stuff makes your complexion blotchy and dry.

It's one thing for there to be a standard of beauty, but what women do to make themselves fair-skinned is bordering on horrific. People joke about Micheal Jackson changing skin color, but I'm sure a bunch of women are gagging to figure out how to get that light.

I'm not even sure how I should look at this issue. I mean why is this worse than guys body building because muscles are attractive?

 

[Rye]

For being darker or lighter and which one was better or more "beautiful", back in the old days, if you were darker, you were typically a servant since servants do all the work outside and the rich ones would be inside, being pale or not being outside. (This is just what I have heard, feel free to refute me on this if you heard something different.)

I'm always pale, but paleness isn't always good since I burn really easily, and I hate being pale. I don't see why it's so good to be pale, I'd rather be darker to be honest.

 

[Anonymous]

Being too pale is considered ugly, as well. Apparently, only a light to medium tan is attractive.

I don't actually tan - too much Irish blood - so I don't wear shorts in the summer because it's considered ugly to be "too white."

Why do you think tanning salons do such good business?

 

[sandgolem]

I've never heard this before, maybe it's an american thing? But then again, 99% of the people around here are pale. Personally I like darker skinned girls, as long as they aren't those dumb beach blondes or people who sit in tanning booths all day.

Girls are too nitpicky trying to figure out attractiveness. If it wasn't skin color, it'd be something else. You will never be perfect, get over it and get some self esteem. It's a lot more attractive than any skin coloring would do.

Also, breast implants, because that comment didn't sound like one I'd make. :yes:

 

[Lene]

It's just sad because tanning and bleaching destroy your skin. I don't see the benefit of it.

However, I don't think tanning has gotten to the extent of lightening. I mean, I've never heard the horror stories of parents trying to make their babies darker. Yet, that sort of thing is extremely common the other way around. Bleh...

Here's an example of what I was talking about from an column on skin and beauty:

Q: I have girls aged seven and 2 months old. my elder daughter is dark like her father and ever since she of 2 she always said she wanted to be fair like my mother(her grandmother). now my 2month old daughter is very fair and sometimes I can sense that my elder daughter feels little inferior and can see the pain in her eyes. what to do? I there a way to make her skin little ligheter. now she will be going to grade two in a small town near toronto where all her classmates would be white canadians. I afraid how she will cope up with that and will she have any friends. she is very intelligent and good looking. her english is excellent and tops in her class. still I am always afraid that due to her skin color she might feel bad or have to face adverse remarks. my husband and I are more careful now when dealing with her ,at the same time not making her conscious of that. how to deal ? how to make her understand that we are least bothered about her skin color and these things are not at all important and worth ignoring. from every other aspect she is great. please advise.

Q: My newborn child was fair for a week, but since she had jaundice she was exposed to the light. Now she is 1 month old & her complexion is dark. What can I do to lighten her complexion? Both her parents are fair

I've never heard this before, maybe it's an american thing? But then again, 99% of the people around here are pale. Personally I like darker skinned girls, as long as they aren't those dumb beach blondes or people who sit in tanning booths all day.

It's not just an American thing. In fact I've seen this in South America, the Carribean, Europe, Asia and Africa. Like I said in my first post, if you search you will find many many different cultures all having issues with being fair.

 

[Volrath]

The really sad part of all this is that I think your average (presumably non-racist) Joe is likely not overly concerned with skin color when it comes to evaluating potential mates. Guys each have their own likes and dislikes when it comes to appearance, but I can't imagine that many overlooking other redeeming qualities of a girl simply because she isn't tan enough or fair enough or some other such silliness. The problem originates (as with just about every female self-image issue) with media represenation. The kind of girls that are always on tabloid covers are seen as what is expected.

Frankly, I find Paris Hilton and those other skeletal creatures with faux tans to be sickening and I know plenty of guys who also do. There's a great distance between what the media focuses and what average people feel. It's a shame it still does so much mental damage to young women.

 

[FlippyD]

Actually I think it has to do with a deep-seeded idea of virginity. White is pure, and unblemished, and in a sense tends to represent virginity for females aesthetically.

As for men and darker skin tones, I think it has to do with strength and hard work. A man with a darker complexion might give off the aura that he's been out in the sun, working hard for his family or whatnot (chasing down dinosaurs with billy clubs and hanging out with his friend Barney down at the Bedrock strip club.)

Michael Jackson uses an acid treatment to get his skin that white. It's not exactly bleach if I remember correctly.

Personally I don't have a preference either way, just depends on how the girl looks overall. Light skin and light hair look "bleh" to me, but pale skin with black hair is hot (goth.) Conversely, dark skin with light hair (blonde or maybe a bright orange/red) and a green beret... Dark green cargo pants... Black halter top with Che on it... Mmm, yeah, that's nice too.

Though, being honest, I'd draw personality to outlook as well. I'd expect a woman with fair skin and dark hair to be quiet yet contemplative (she's been inside a lot, reading books and drawing up plans for world-domination... Y'know, feminine things...) However, the last time I assumed that I was... Almost disturbingly surprised. Furthermore I'd expect a dark skinned but light haired girl to be more energetic and outgoing (she's got darker skin, maybe she's been outside a lot wrasslin' bears and gators... Y'know, feminine things...)



HEY! The next part of this post is satirical in nature. It's a joke. I don't want to open any cans of worms, just make people laugh so I'm blowing up the proverbial can of worms shed.



And... Guess I'll say this here, sorry guys, I know I'm blowing our cover but, it has to be said...

Guys don't really have any preferences when it comes to women. Yes, we will voice our opinion on what types of girls we like and don't like, but this is to do two things...

1.) Confuse women to the point where they're fussing about their outlook so much that they have no time to take over the world. Because we guys know, if given half the chance, they could take over 80% of the world's population by expediting make-up time alone.

2.) To let our buds know that, while we don't care about what type of girl you or your friends happen to be, if we happen to get into a relationship or something more fun with a woman that fits our "tastes" we will tell our bros all about it the next morning while out getting coffee/donuts/alcohol.

I say this, because from my own research (which was done while wearing a lab-coat, so I know it's legit) there are women you see, out, on the street, where you will instinctively think: man, I'd love to get with her, and tell everybody I know about it. And then, you see the 56-year old fat gran'mama with the motorized wheelchair and you think: man, I'd love to get with her... And tell no one...

 

[Roman Candle]

...
Right...

Anyway - In my experience, boys tend not to go for pale people :p, but girls don't mind as much (phew!). As for dark skin - for some reason, I don't so much go for dark/'coloured' people, but really really dark, black skin I like. Who knows why. I think pale can work too (Dita von Teese anyone?). But then, you might just say I'm undecisive. I like pretty much everything.

PS For those colomn questions, my answer would have to be "Try to get over it and show your child how to do so too"

 

[Norris]

Attraction is mainly based on how much the other person has to offer in terms of the quality of the offspring, and being that the Caucasian appearance is easily associated with the perception of ‘success’ (most of the world’s wealth is owned by ‘whitefolk’), it’s a no brainer why many would want to change themselves. With the significance of beauty becoming ever more prevalent in our media-driven society, I’m not that really surprised something like this is happening now. In fact, I remember reading an article a good couple of years (maybe 8?) ago that talked about how various people of oriental descent were undergoing nose reconstructions to remove the natural ‘flatness’ that is coming to most Asians and replace it with one that is more defined.

 

[Murcu]

Apparently I'm going to have to be the one to say this...
I have my preferences. I'm not fond of really dark girls, just as I'm not found of really pale ones. But I know guys who really like dark girls and really like pale ones.
I have a preference. It's not racism, it's just what I like. Typically, and speaking from a psychological stand point, people tend to go for mates that remind them of their family. Freaky, but unfortunately true. Deal with it.
So am I racist because I tend to prefer brunettes over blondes and redheads? Or because I prefer Northern European descent over Asian or African?
No, I'm human. Calm your boots.

As for my moral standpoint on the bleaching of skin and all that shifty business- I'm not really sure. From a purely logical stand point, especially in cases in which she may be the only non-white person in her whole city, it might make sense. But then again, from a strictly logical standpoint, abortion makes sense, and we all know how iffy that is.
Basically what I'm saying is- it's not my place to judge.

 

[Lene]

I guess it's all in moderation really.

After thinking about it because really I did ask the question who is it different than bodybuilding because muscles are attractive, I came to the conclusion that using a skin lightener is like using steroids. It's a harsh approach to a result and overabuse can fuck a lot of things up.

But there's attractive, and there "I'm scared my kids won't make any friend because they're *~dark~*"

 

[Murcu]

Well put.

 

[FlippyD]

Apparently I'm going to have to be the one to say this...
I have my preferences. I'm not fond of really dark girls, just as I'm not found of really pale ones. But I know guys who really like dark girls and really like pale ones.
I have a preference. It's not racism, it's just what I like. Typically, and speaking from a psychological stand point, people tend to go for mates that remind them of their family. Freaky, but unfortunately true. Deal with it.
So am I racist because I tend to prefer brunettes over blondes and redheads? Or because I prefer Northern European descent over Asian or African?
No, I'm human. Calm your boots.

As for my moral standpoint on the bleaching of skin and all that shifty business- I'm not really sure. From a purely logical stand point, especially in cases in which she may be the only non-white person in her whole city, it might make sense. But then again, from a strictly logical standpoint, abortion makes sense, and we all know how iffy that is.
Basically what I'm saying is- it's not my place to judge.

Well, my family is pretty decently mixed. We've got people of all races showing up at our holiday parties, so I don't know what yer issue is. :P

Personally, if you're hot, you're HAWT! Skin color hardly has anything to do with it. With the right look, I personally don't care, I'm going to buy you a drink.

 

[Murcu]

Hey, people cross breed, there's no doubt about it. And if you ready carefully the source I included, that study there shows that the preference to someone who looks like the parent depends also on how emotionally attattched they were to the parent in the first place.
Besides, I'm pretty open minded when it comes down to it, I just have my prefence. 8)

 

[Rye]

Hey, people cross breed

Umm... breed? Are you talking about animals or humans? Since last I checked, we weren't a different breed for being darker or paler. Granted, that was probably a wrong choice of words, but you may want to rephrase that.

 

[Murcu]

lol Joke dude. Calm your face.

 

[Rye]

It's not a very funny joke, it's downright stupid to say that, especially in a forum that isn't supposed to be about jokes. -_-;; jeez.

EDIT:

This forum is for serious discussion and debate. Users under the age of 16 should have parental consent before viewing this forum as it may contain adult content.

 

[FlippyD]

I found it a little funny...

I want to wear a t-shirt that says that now... "IXIS: Cross-Breeder }:3" Heheh. But back on topic, Murcu, I get what yer sayin'.

 

[FoxDemonSoavi]

I don't know. I happen to like girls who aren't white more. Black, Asian, Hispanic. White girls are just so... blah. I think its because tehy don't go through as much adversity (in my mind) so they don't come out as strong. I"m honestly not sure.

 

[FlippyD]

It seems that preference in skin tone has more to do with stereotypes revolving around people with that skin tone than family preference as has been suggested.