This is the story for a game I am making right now. I'd like some criticism on it, because I haven't thought it over much yet.
A young scholar is compiling a history of The Second Order, the long-lived Trian Empire. He comes across an account of the life of the young woman who is credited with the reorganization of its government.
Referred to elsewhere as “The Reorganizer” and “The Cusp of Tria”, this person previously seemed to him as a nonperson who appeared and overthrew a good ruler, and revealed his cruel manipulation of events prior to his deposing. After this, she set up the government that the empire would carry to the end of its days, and vanished.
This book shed much light on her, giving her a name and identity. He dedicated an entire section of his book to her, hoping that she would be recognized for bringing forth both the Golden Age as well as the Fall of Tria.
Referred to elsewhere as “The Reorganizer” and “The Cusp of Tria”, this person previously seemed to him as a nonperson who appeared and overthrew a good ruler, and revealed his cruel manipulation of events prior to his deposing. After this, she set up the government that the empire would carry to the end of its days, and vanished.
This book shed much light on her, giving her a name and identity. He dedicated an entire section of his book to her, hoping that she would be recognized for bringing forth both the Golden Age as well as the Fall of Tria.
The great Empire of Tria has expanded its rule over much of the known world. It controls the continent of Avera, as well as the entire Goltrine, consisting of the continents of Gultrina and Untali, as well as the Goltrine Archipelago.
However, the people of Gultrina are not happily conquered by Tria. Many of the people on the continent have banded together to form the Union of the Goltrine, and declared themselves separate from Tria. Only the far northern Duchy of Kohler and the southwestern principality of Talkis remain subservient to Tria.
Tria, never taxing its colonies and placing only two governors on the Goltrine mainland, initially ignores the Union, but when it mounts an attack on Talkis, responds with deadly force, and crushes the rebelling Union from its military base in Kohler and naval bases on the islands of Arandi and Mjodrin.
The Goltrine are put in their place, but they never forget their defeat at the hands of their conquerors. Talkis is a complete loss, and Kohler becomes the seat of Trian power on Gultrina.
For twenty years, the Goltrine unhappily submits to the empire. However, there is talk in some of the central provinces of Gultrina of the reformation of the Union, and rumor is that they are training an army in the Scelldam Mountains, and plan to march through the Scelldam Pass into Kohler any day.
However, the people of Gultrina are not happily conquered by Tria. Many of the people on the continent have banded together to form the Union of the Goltrine, and declared themselves separate from Tria. Only the far northern Duchy of Kohler and the southwestern principality of Talkis remain subservient to Tria.
Tria, never taxing its colonies and placing only two governors on the Goltrine mainland, initially ignores the Union, but when it mounts an attack on Talkis, responds with deadly force, and crushes the rebelling Union from its military base in Kohler and naval bases on the islands of Arandi and Mjodrin.
The Goltrine are put in their place, but they never forget their defeat at the hands of their conquerors. Talkis is a complete loss, and Kohler becomes the seat of Trian power on Gultrina.
For twenty years, the Goltrine unhappily submits to the empire. However, there is talk in some of the central provinces of Gultrina of the reformation of the Union, and rumor is that they are training an army in the Scelldam Mountains, and plan to march through the Scelldam Pass into Kohler any day.
Audrey is a young woman who lives in the Trian colony of Arles on the island of Arandi. She makes a living doing any job the people of the town need done, from household work to delivery to dispute settlements. Her reputation as a well-rounded individual precedes her, and the Prince of Tria himself contacts her, and meets her at the governor's castle. She travels across the mountains cutting the island down the middle. The highroad is blocked off, so she decides to take the Metal Road through the mountains.
The prince asks Audrey to gather evidence that will prove that the mayor of Arles is collaborating with the New Union of the Goltrine. At first she denies, but when the prince offers her a heavy payment, she agrees with a heavy heart, for Mayor Petra Randall is one of her closest friends.
Audrey returns to Arles, and finds enough evidence to prove Mayor Petra is guilty of aiding the Union. Unwilling to accept that her friend was selling herself to the rebels, Audrey confronts her. Petra admits to the crime, but says several things that don't add up, including “I never wanted to do this”, “It was a mistake”, while still admitting her guilt over and over again. She agrees to turn herself in. The two travel to the castle, and before being hauled off into the dungeon, Petra tells Audrey not to let herself become a pawn.
Audrey returns to Arles, trying to understand Petra's parting statement. Little does she know that this is the catalyst that will pull her into the events that will soon engulf the entire Goltrine.
The prince asks Audrey to gather evidence that will prove that the mayor of Arles is collaborating with the New Union of the Goltrine. At first she denies, but when the prince offers her a heavy payment, she agrees with a heavy heart, for Mayor Petra Randall is one of her closest friends.
Audrey returns to Arles, and finds enough evidence to prove Mayor Petra is guilty of aiding the Union. Unwilling to accept that her friend was selling herself to the rebels, Audrey confronts her. Petra admits to the crime, but says several things that don't add up, including “I never wanted to do this”, “It was a mistake”, while still admitting her guilt over and over again. She agrees to turn herself in. The two travel to the castle, and before being hauled off into the dungeon, Petra tells Audrey not to let herself become a pawn.
Audrey returns to Arles, trying to understand Petra's parting statement. Little does she know that this is the catalyst that will pull her into the events that will soon engulf the entire Goltrine.
Audrey returns home, ready to relax after her previous ordeal. Her rest is cut short when she gets a message from her mother, asking her to go to Kohler and meet with the governor there, with no additional information. Although she is tired from her multiple back-and-forth trips through the metal road, she decides to pack her things and head out to Kohler on the mainland. To her relief, the highroad is re-opened and she makes the trip easily and safely.
She takes a ship to Serna, the port of Kohler. She travels along the Kohler Port Road, where she is attacked by bandits. She handily defeats them, and makes it to town.
When she meets the governor, he is frantic and too preoccupied to tell her what her purpose there is. He asks her for a favor before they get down to business. He tells her that his son, Ainsley, has been kidnapped by the bandits, and they demand the Kohler Guard to bring a ransom to an abandoned cottage off the Kohler Port Road. Seeing that it is a trap to lure the Guard away from the city so that the bandits can attack, he asks Audrey to sneak in and rescue his son. Although she is confused as to why she is in Kohler in the first place, she agrees.
She goes to the cottage and sneaks in through a window to find the boy, just about to make his escape. Her entrance alerts the bandits and the two are forced to fight them. After the battle, Audrey helps the boy nurse his wounds, they exchange introductions, and they return to town.
When the two return to the Governor's mansion, he thanks her deeply for rescuing his son, and reveals the reason her mother sent her: she and Ainsley are to be married. After the initial shock, she agrees, saying that if it's her duty, she will accept it. Ainsley, however, does not share the sentiment, and shuts himself away in his room. Audrey tries to talk to him, but he refuses. The Governor lets Audrey stay in the extra bedroom for the night.
The next morning, Ainsley seems to have had a change of heart and asks Audrey to go for a walk with him through the Scelldam Pass. She agrees and they leave. They make their way through the northern pass, and talk along the way, until Ainsley asks to stop and rest near a lone, barren tree. He says that he likes this particular tree, and feels he connects with it, because "It's all alone. None of the other trees would go near it, and the only company it has is the moss that grows on it." Audrey detects Ainsley's loneliness and tries to comfort him, but he moves away. Audrey begins to realize that she's falling for him.
They continue their walk, and eventually come up at the ruins of the Kollis Cathedral. They notice a cave and decide to take a look. They go through the cave, and eventually come to a chamber with a massive waterfall. Audrey points out that were it not for the monsters, this chamber would be absolutely romantic. She begins to lean on Ainsley when he pulls away and becomes quite flustered. He comes out of the closet to her and opens up a bit.
He is terrified of the arrangement, as it would mean he could not continue sneaking around with his lover. When his parents first told him about the arrangement, he became depressed and actually planned to hang himself from the barren tree.
Audrey is shocked, but decides to comfort him. She promises that she will not stop him from seeing his lover, even when they are married. Ainsley hugs Audrey and they return to Kohler.
When they return, Ainsley tells his father that he will accept the arrangement, and agrees to participate in the betrothal ceremony.
A few weeks later, after the ceremony, Audrey receives a letter from the prince, asking her to meet him at his castle. She tells the Governor, who tells her to leave the next day. That, night she tries to tell Ainsley that she's leaving at first light, but she can't find him. She searches the manor for him, but cannot find him. She goes to bed that night, wondering how she could leave Ainsley without saying goodbye.
She takes a ship to Serna, the port of Kohler. She travels along the Kohler Port Road, where she is attacked by bandits. She handily defeats them, and makes it to town.
When she meets the governor, he is frantic and too preoccupied to tell her what her purpose there is. He asks her for a favor before they get down to business. He tells her that his son, Ainsley, has been kidnapped by the bandits, and they demand the Kohler Guard to bring a ransom to an abandoned cottage off the Kohler Port Road. Seeing that it is a trap to lure the Guard away from the city so that the bandits can attack, he asks Audrey to sneak in and rescue his son. Although she is confused as to why she is in Kohler in the first place, she agrees.
She goes to the cottage and sneaks in through a window to find the boy, just about to make his escape. Her entrance alerts the bandits and the two are forced to fight them. After the battle, Audrey helps the boy nurse his wounds, they exchange introductions, and they return to town.
When the two return to the Governor's mansion, he thanks her deeply for rescuing his son, and reveals the reason her mother sent her: she and Ainsley are to be married. After the initial shock, she agrees, saying that if it's her duty, she will accept it. Ainsley, however, does not share the sentiment, and shuts himself away in his room. Audrey tries to talk to him, but he refuses. The Governor lets Audrey stay in the extra bedroom for the night.
The next morning, Ainsley seems to have had a change of heart and asks Audrey to go for a walk with him through the Scelldam Pass. She agrees and they leave. They make their way through the northern pass, and talk along the way, until Ainsley asks to stop and rest near a lone, barren tree. He says that he likes this particular tree, and feels he connects with it, because "It's all alone. None of the other trees would go near it, and the only company it has is the moss that grows on it." Audrey detects Ainsley's loneliness and tries to comfort him, but he moves away. Audrey begins to realize that she's falling for him.
They continue their walk, and eventually come up at the ruins of the Kollis Cathedral. They notice a cave and decide to take a look. They go through the cave, and eventually come to a chamber with a massive waterfall. Audrey points out that were it not for the monsters, this chamber would be absolutely romantic. She begins to lean on Ainsley when he pulls away and becomes quite flustered. He comes out of the closet to her and opens up a bit.
He is terrified of the arrangement, as it would mean he could not continue sneaking around with his lover. When his parents first told him about the arrangement, he became depressed and actually planned to hang himself from the barren tree.
Audrey is shocked, but decides to comfort him. She promises that she will not stop him from seeing his lover, even when they are married. Ainsley hugs Audrey and they return to Kohler.
When they return, Ainsley tells his father that he will accept the arrangement, and agrees to participate in the betrothal ceremony.
A few weeks later, after the ceremony, Audrey receives a letter from the prince, asking her to meet him at his castle. She tells the Governor, who tells her to leave the next day. That, night she tries to tell Ainsley that she's leaving at first light, but she can't find him. She searches the manor for him, but cannot find him. She goes to bed that night, wondering how she could leave Ainsley without saying goodbye.
[I'll write this section out later, if at all.]
Arandi Island
A distant Goltrine island that is important for its mining. The mines are on and off the eastern shore, which is surrounded by a massive coral reef and separated from the west by the imposing mountain range named after the island, inaccessible to sea traffic. Although the seat of government is the port and castle on the west coast, the only settlement of note is Arles near the eastern coast. Audrey currently makes her residence here.
Scelldam
The northeastern-most province on the Goltrine mainland. Mostly rugged mountains, there are only two ways through the region: The North-South Scelldam Pass and the East-West Kohler Port Road. Originally empty, the northernmost point became the location of a holy site for the followers of the Hjuvillian faith: The Kollis Cathedral.
Kohler
Kohler was originally built as resting place for pilgrims to Kollis, but eventually became the capital of the nation that shares its name. It is the largest city in the entire Goltrine, as well as the third largest city in the world, barely beat out by the Trian capital Trianna and Siaxan capital Sixas. Its location at the intersection of the only two roads through the mountains gives it several strategic advantages and disadvantages. It is Ainsley's hometown.
The Kollis Cathedral
Once a holy site for those of the Hjuvillan faith, it is now a pile of rubble. After the cathedral collapsed five years ago, it was discovered that the cathedral was built over a mysterious cave. Ever since the cathedral fell, monsters in the Scelldam Pass have surged. The lowest levels of the cave are sealed off by the Hjuvillan Church. What could be at the bottom of this cave?
Tamara
The dilapidated capital of Talkis, completely razed when the Union invaded them twenty years ago, it has had little redevelopment since that time. The only people who still live there are people who either are too stubborn or too poor to leave. Despite formerly being the most loyal of the Goltrine provinces, its plight has attracted little attention from the government.
Marid
A former possession of Siaxa, Tria installed their own governor when the Siaxan governor was ousted. Marid is known as the angriest of the Trian possessions in the Goltrine, and is considered the birthplace of the Union of the Goltrine. Audrey's father replaced the governor twenty years ago when he committed suicide during the Union uprising. Audrey's parents currently reside here.
Trena
A small town on the Western Goltrine continent of Untali. This is Audrey's birthplace.
Fordes
Fordes is a small town on the Gull River on Untali, inhabited mostly by Central Goltrine refugees from Gultrina. They were treated poorly by the Untalarians, and rejoiced when the Trians took over.
Macro Castle
A castle on the western shore of Gultrina owned by the august David family, the current royal family of Tria. It is the prince's home during his diplomatic stay in the Goltrine. It is called "Macro" rather than "David" because of the fact that every first son of the David family is named D. Macro David.
A distant Goltrine island that is important for its mining. The mines are on and off the eastern shore, which is surrounded by a massive coral reef and separated from the west by the imposing mountain range named after the island, inaccessible to sea traffic. Although the seat of government is the port and castle on the west coast, the only settlement of note is Arles near the eastern coast. Audrey currently makes her residence here.
Scelldam
The northeastern-most province on the Goltrine mainland. Mostly rugged mountains, there are only two ways through the region: The North-South Scelldam Pass and the East-West Kohler Port Road. Originally empty, the northernmost point became the location of a holy site for the followers of the Hjuvillian faith: The Kollis Cathedral.
Kohler
Kohler was originally built as resting place for pilgrims to Kollis, but eventually became the capital of the nation that shares its name. It is the largest city in the entire Goltrine, as well as the third largest city in the world, barely beat out by the Trian capital Trianna and Siaxan capital Sixas. Its location at the intersection of the only two roads through the mountains gives it several strategic advantages and disadvantages. It is Ainsley's hometown.
The Kollis Cathedral
Once a holy site for those of the Hjuvillan faith, it is now a pile of rubble. After the cathedral collapsed five years ago, it was discovered that the cathedral was built over a mysterious cave. Ever since the cathedral fell, monsters in the Scelldam Pass have surged. The lowest levels of the cave are sealed off by the Hjuvillan Church. What could be at the bottom of this cave?
Tamara
The dilapidated capital of Talkis, completely razed when the Union invaded them twenty years ago, it has had little redevelopment since that time. The only people who still live there are people who either are too stubborn or too poor to leave. Despite formerly being the most loyal of the Goltrine provinces, its plight has attracted little attention from the government.
Marid
A former possession of Siaxa, Tria installed their own governor when the Siaxan governor was ousted. Marid is known as the angriest of the Trian possessions in the Goltrine, and is considered the birthplace of the Union of the Goltrine. Audrey's father replaced the governor twenty years ago when he committed suicide during the Union uprising. Audrey's parents currently reside here.
Trena
A small town on the Western Goltrine continent of Untali. This is Audrey's birthplace.
Fordes
Fordes is a small town on the Gull River on Untali, inhabited mostly by Central Goltrine refugees from Gultrina. They were treated poorly by the Untalarians, and rejoiced when the Trians took over.
Macro Castle
A castle on the western shore of Gultrina owned by the august David family, the current royal family of Tria. It is the prince's home during his diplomatic stay in the Goltrine. It is called "Macro" rather than "David" because of the fact that every first son of the David family is named D. Macro David.
The Main Characters
Audrey
A young woman, commonly referred to as a Jill-of-all-trades. She is incredibly well-rounded, and is good at most everything that she tries. Her feelings of hatred for her noble background are counteracted by her love of her country. When the opportunity presents itself, she will always put her duties before her personal wishes. However, she can be impressionable at times, her personality giving way to the events that go on around her. How she emerges from this episode is yet to be determined.
Ainsley
He is Audrey's fiancee by the arrangement of their parents. He, unlike Audrey, despises his heritage and wishes to be a normal young man. He has no self-esteem and no control over his emotions, and rumor is that he can often be seen by a tree in the northern Scelldam Pass from which he plans to hang himself. Audrey gives him the courage to open up and face his duty to his family, and their own secret arrangement allows him to continue his secret relationship with Canon.
Canon
A young sage-in-training at the Kollis Shrine. He was in the Kollis Cathedral when it collapsed five years ago, and met Ainsley after he was treated for his wounds in Kohler after the incident. Unable to leave his training, he and Ainsley have few opportunities to see each other. On days where Canon is allowed to leave the shrine, he and Ainsley run off to the Scelldam Pass where they spend the whole day. Audrey identifies with him, as they are both bound by duty, and allows Ainsley to continue meeting with him. When Audrey and Ainsley leave Kohler, they hire Canon as a healer, allowing him to leave his training for a while.
The Royal Family
Prince Jarlan Indra David
The third son of D. Macro David XXXIX, King Macro XVI. His older brothers were killed when they led the fight against the Union twenty years ago. He was only six years old at the time and mourns them even today. He doesn't let his personal hatred of the Union blind him to the suffering the Goltrine have suffered at the hands of Tria, and as the main liaison between Trianna and the Goltrine, he works to right every wrong the war made, regardless of which side was responsible. He is loved by everyone in the Goltrine, but at home he is looked down upon because of his illegitimacy. Despite this, he was named heir because he made great strides with the Goltrine. He has one legitimate younger brother as well as a twin sister. He was originally sent to the Goltrine as a form of "exile", for his father was ashamed of himself.
Lady Maura Destiny David
The Prince's twin sister. She the personal confidante of the Queen, her adopted mother. She is a talented musician, and wrote most of the march music played during the war against the union (when she was five years old!). She is often seen as cold but kind. She and her brother have shared a struggle over the years because of her illegitimacy, and are quite close as a result. She visits the Goltrine often, not only to visit her brother, but the people of the Goltrine, with whom she has much concern.
Queen Mercedes Veré
The Queen of Tria, and the adopted mother of both The Prince and his sister. After the loss of her two sons, she became especially close to her husband's illegitimate children, and treated them as her own. She is kind and beloved by her people, and is believed to have been the actual ruler before the Goltrine debacle. She, like her adopted children, cares for the well-being of the people of the Goltrine possessions, and visits often. Her health has recently taken a turn for the worse, and has been unable to make her bimonthly visit.
Lord D. Macro David XLI
The youngest child of the royal family, he was named in memory of his dead brother, D. Macro David XL. Until the Prince was named heir, he was the heir by default, as the oldest legitimate child. He does not share the concern of his half-siblings and mother for the Goltrine, but does his part by looking after the finances for his brother.
Side Characters
Sturm and Drang
Two bizzare mercenaries hired by an unknown party to investigate strange occurrences that have been taking place throughout the Goltrine. It is rumored that they are not human, and that they are actually one being inhabiting two bodies.
Aria
A dancer working at a tavern in Kohler. Next to nothing is known about her, but it is rumored that she is the same mysterious dancer that has influenced world events in times past. She was separated from her twin brother, Sonata, some time ago.
Sonata
A bard who currently sings for the poor in Tamara. Little is known about him, but rumors similar to those about his sister circulate about him. He was separated from Aria five years ago.
Audrey
A young woman, commonly referred to as a Jill-of-all-trades. She is incredibly well-rounded, and is good at most everything that she tries. Her feelings of hatred for her noble background are counteracted by her love of her country. When the opportunity presents itself, she will always put her duties before her personal wishes. However, she can be impressionable at times, her personality giving way to the events that go on around her. How she emerges from this episode is yet to be determined.
Ainsley
He is Audrey's fiancee by the arrangement of their parents. He, unlike Audrey, despises his heritage and wishes to be a normal young man. He has no self-esteem and no control over his emotions, and rumor is that he can often be seen by a tree in the northern Scelldam Pass from which he plans to hang himself. Audrey gives him the courage to open up and face his duty to his family, and their own secret arrangement allows him to continue his secret relationship with Canon.
Canon
A young sage-in-training at the Kollis Shrine. He was in the Kollis Cathedral when it collapsed five years ago, and met Ainsley after he was treated for his wounds in Kohler after the incident. Unable to leave his training, he and Ainsley have few opportunities to see each other. On days where Canon is allowed to leave the shrine, he and Ainsley run off to the Scelldam Pass where they spend the whole day. Audrey identifies with him, as they are both bound by duty, and allows Ainsley to continue meeting with him. When Audrey and Ainsley leave Kohler, they hire Canon as a healer, allowing him to leave his training for a while.
The Royal Family
Prince Jarlan Indra David
The third son of D. Macro David XXXIX, King Macro XVI. His older brothers were killed when they led the fight against the Union twenty years ago. He was only six years old at the time and mourns them even today. He doesn't let his personal hatred of the Union blind him to the suffering the Goltrine have suffered at the hands of Tria, and as the main liaison between Trianna and the Goltrine, he works to right every wrong the war made, regardless of which side was responsible. He is loved by everyone in the Goltrine, but at home he is looked down upon because of his illegitimacy. Despite this, he was named heir because he made great strides with the Goltrine. He has one legitimate younger brother as well as a twin sister. He was originally sent to the Goltrine as a form of "exile", for his father was ashamed of himself.
Lady Maura Destiny David
The Prince's twin sister. She the personal confidante of the Queen, her adopted mother. She is a talented musician, and wrote most of the march music played during the war against the union (when she was five years old!). She is often seen as cold but kind. She and her brother have shared a struggle over the years because of her illegitimacy, and are quite close as a result. She visits the Goltrine often, not only to visit her brother, but the people of the Goltrine, with whom she has much concern.
Queen Mercedes Veré
The Queen of Tria, and the adopted mother of both The Prince and his sister. After the loss of her two sons, she became especially close to her husband's illegitimate children, and treated them as her own. She is kind and beloved by her people, and is believed to have been the actual ruler before the Goltrine debacle. She, like her adopted children, cares for the well-being of the people of the Goltrine possessions, and visits often. Her health has recently taken a turn for the worse, and has been unable to make her bimonthly visit.
Lord D. Macro David XLI
The youngest child of the royal family, he was named in memory of his dead brother, D. Macro David XL. Until the Prince was named heir, he was the heir by default, as the oldest legitimate child. He does not share the concern of his half-siblings and mother for the Goltrine, but does his part by looking after the finances for his brother.
Side Characters
Sturm and Drang
Two bizzare mercenaries hired by an unknown party to investigate strange occurrences that have been taking place throughout the Goltrine. It is rumored that they are not human, and that they are actually one being inhabiting two bodies.
Aria
A dancer working at a tavern in Kohler. Next to nothing is known about her, but it is rumored that she is the same mysterious dancer that has influenced world events in times past. She was separated from her twin brother, Sonata, some time ago.
Sonata
A bard who currently sings for the poor in Tamara. Little is known about him, but rumors similar to those about his sister circulate about him. He was separated from Aria five years ago.
Please tell me how it could be improved!