Sword of The Shadow

[RPGS]

:shades: Hello, this is Sword of the shadow , my 1st RPG maker Xp game !

Once, in the village Gerothia the Exor Crystal was... It protected the people in the village with light...But soon, the darkness took it and clensed it from light...So the grand soldiers and fighters of the kingdom were forced to go on a quest to return Exor Crystal once it dissapeared, and restore it`s power of light...The Darkness tortured the Exor Crystal, and they obtained the dark weapon,
The Sword of The Shadow, the dark weapon of Exor Crystal...There was also The Stonehammer of The Light, the holy weapon of EXor Crystal, and the grand fighters must find Exor Crystal and fill it
with light, with Holy Materia to obtain the Weapon of Light and destroy darkness forever....

Alexis : A teenaged boy and one of the grand soldiers of Gerothia...It was his friend, the elderly mage Torshammir who examined the Exor Crystal and found the dark and light weapons of it...

Eikmoth : Alexis and Torshammir found him inside the dungeons of Aresonia Castle...He wanted revenge against the ones who took him and therefore he joined Alexis and Torshammir in their quest to defeat darkness...

Cendai : Came to Aresonia Castle to ask the army there to fight against Reigan and his empire...She had been tortured by Reigan and his soldiers a long time now, and her greatest desire is to one day kill the bastard Reigan...

Torshammir : Alexis friend and one of the 2 grand fighters...As said he discovered that Exor Crystal was gone...Darkness took it...

Transmitter 46 : A machine who used to serv Reigan, but as Reigan begun torturing people, he leaved the empire...

Cemnon : A mystic fortuneteller who helped Alexis with his sickness DYM and told him to go to the Wind Spirit, only he could heal him...

Xeranin : The Dark Master and is the one who struggles to get the Sword of The Shadow...It is said that he has a secret master...

Rexx : She`s a magician who can change shape...Later she betrays someone and begins to work with the wrong guys...


Places / Destinations :

1.Gerothia
2.Mysterious Mansion
3.Aresonia Castle
4.King`s Airship
5.Gerothia
6.Bridge to Mihor Desert
7.Swamp of the Dead
8.Mihor Desert
9.Gahzan Castle
10

 

[Mundane]

There isn't enough here man.  Give us some info on the settings and the world, or some more on the story than just a tiny paragraph. And of course, you need some screenshots to post in here.

 

[RPGS]

srry, I`ll post later !!! :smile:

 

[Jstreet]

Please tell me you're joking...After reading your egotistic posts in the Aura thread I would expect only God like qualities from your games, but after reading this story...well quite honestly I believe my IQ dropped. You've either stacked random pieces of cliche garbage together or this is a story two crystals experimenting with bondage. Although this is your "1st RPG maker Xp game" you've posted it after your ever so popular Ameth idea. Now...why you even bothered to dig this out of your little toy chest is beyond me, but I believe it would be in your best interest to put back in...and then weld the toy chest shut.

~Sincerely

 

[RPGS]

Please tell me you're joking...After reading your egotistic posts in the Aura thread I would expect only God like qualities from your games, but after reading this story...well quite honestly I believe my IQ dropped. You've either stacked random pieces of cliche garbage together or this is a story two crystals experimenting with bondage. Although this is your "1st RPG maker Xp game" you've posted it after your ever so popular Ameth idea. Now...why you even bothered to dig this out of your little toy chest is beyond me, but I believe it would be in your best interest to put back in...and then weld the toy chest shut.

~Sincerely

Tsss, thsi is my 1st project and I havn`t post it AFTER AMeth I noo..noo...Ameth I is great..Im not egoistic Oh man what`s your problem ? (YOU`re rude telling me my IQ Dropped)


NN Ridicolous :pissed:

 

[friend]

Ameth is your 1st game....

EDIT: Oops didn't realize someone mentioned it already...

 

[RPGS]

What ? Ameth I is my2nd project !??! Ehh !??! I`ve told that :gangsta: But with this I had a few problems, couldnt upload pictures in Image Shak...Mayb it works now, but I don`t know how to EDIT my message, you know the info, new layout is CraZy !!!

and also, yeterday, my coputer just BANG !!! And I couldn`t finish this...Damn computer... Sorry, How can I edit the info more in beginning, there`s no EDIT thing !?!?!

 

[friend]

What ? Ameth I is my2nd project !??! Ehh !??! I`ve told that :gangsta: But with this I had a few problems, couldnt upload pictures in Image Shak...Mayb it works now, but I don`t know how to EDIT my message, you know the info, new layout is CraZy !!!

and also, yeterday, my coputer just BANG !!! And I couldn`t finish this...Damn computer... Sorry, How can I edit the info more in beginning, there`s no EDIT thing !?!?!

My eyes...

please pity my poor eyes

 

[Tempus]

I have no faith left in humanity.
If you can't write proper english, you shouldn't bother making a game. :brow:

 

[Celesinator]

A... a... amazing... I can't read one post of yours lol. Uhm.. work on it a bit more, okay ^^...?

 

[Rappu]

Your writing style would be about a hundred times better if you used less ellipsis. Ending every sentence with three dots makes your text rather flegmatic.

And now to business.

Once, in the village Gerothia the Exor Crystal was... It protected the people in the village with light...But soon, the darkness took it and clensed it from light...So the grand soldiers and fighters of the kingdom were forced to go on a quest to return Exor Crystal once it dissapeared, and restore it`s power of light...The Darkness tortured the Exor Crystal, and they obtained the dark weapon,
The Sword of The Shadow, the dark weapon of Exor Crystal...There was also The Stonehammer of The Light, the holy weapon of EXor Crystal, and the grand fighters must find Exor Crystal and fill it
with light, with Holy Materia to obtain the Weapon of Light and destroy darkness forever....

The Exor Crystal was what? Why is it called Exor Crystal? What light? What darkness? Why would a whole kingdom care about a little village that probably hasn't been much interest before? Why did th crystal disappear? How can it be "restored"? Again, what Darkness? How can one torture a piece of mineral? What Sword of Shadow? Wy was a crystal of light holding a dark weapon? Or a light weapon? What holy materia? Where does one get it? Why must darkness be destroyed forever? Does the darkness even have a personification or is it just the knights' hallucination?

Alexis : A teenaged boy and one of the grand soldiers of Gerothia...It was his friend, the elderly mage Torshammir who examined the Exor Crystal and found the dark and light weapons of it...

How can a teenage boy be one of the grand soldiers? When exactly were the weapons found? What's Alexis like? Is he brave or cowardly, intelligent or ignorant, does he have a sense of humour? In short, what makes Alexis a person?

Eikmoth : Alexis and Torshammir found him inside the dungeons of Aresonia Castle...He wanted revenge against the ones who took him and therefore he joined Alexis and Torshammir in their quest to defeat darkness...

So a teenage boy and some doddering old beard go inside the dungeons of Aresonia Castle and the dude locked up in there wants and gets to join these complete strangers? What's Aresonia Castle anyway? What's Aresonia? Why does it have a random dude locked up in its dungeons? What's Eikmoth like? What makes Eikmoth a character and a person? (HINT: Traits!)

Cendai : Came to Aresonia Castle to ask the army there to fight against Reigan and his empire...She had been tortured by Reigan and his soldiers a long time now, and her greatest desire is to one day kill the bastard Reigan...

So she just came and asked for an army as if she was borrowing a cup of sugar? Who's Reigan? What's his empire? Why was she tortured? What personality does SHE have?

Torshammir : Alexis friend and one of the 2 grand fighters...As said he discovered that Exor Crystal was gone...Darkness took it...

Again, needs more personality. And that village really is in deep guano if two of its best fighters are a bucktoothed acney teenager kid and a senior citizen. How did he discover that the Exor was gone?

Transmitter 46 : A machine who used to serve Reigan, but as Reigan begun torturing people, he leaved the empire...

Needs personality, but otherwise I really like this concept. :D A machine that decides that enough's enough? Cool.

Cemnon : A mystic fortuneteller who helped Alexis with his sickness DYM and told him to go to the Wind Spirit, only he could heal him...

What DYM? Why wasn't it mentioned before? Why could only the Wind Spirit heal Alexis? What's this Cemnon fellow like anyway?

Xeranin : The Dark Master and is the one who struggles to get the Sword of The Shadow...It is said that he has a secret master...

Why does he want the sword? Why's he The Dark Master? What's a Dark Master anyway? What are his motives? His personality? Background? Remember that most often a plot is just as good as the main villains/antagonists. Sauron worked in LotR. Assume that you can't pull off a similar villain and you're almost there.

Rexx : She`s a magician who can change shape...Later she betrays someone and begins to work with the wrong guys...

Gimme a P, gimme an ERS, gimme an NA, gimme an L, gimme an ITY! "Betrays someone" isn't a personality. Why does she betray that someone (I'm assuming Alexis and his gang)? How come she can change shape?

Hey, please note that the above wasn't a questionnaire. Those questions are there so that you can think about them and improve your now rather vague ideas.

 

[RPGS]

Tsss, you sais so much to me, that it could be spam !!! :tongue:

 

[Skyla Doragono]

When RPGS gets back from his ban, hopefully he'll have regained enough intelligence to be able to update this into a proper topic for PD. If so, he can PM a mod to unlock it.