Okay this is a Naruto fanfic but it's still writing so I'll post it here for some opinions. I wanted some views on this and what people think of the writing. It takes place when Naruto is seven keep in mind this is only the beginning, i'll post the rest when I finish.
EDIT: Forgot to say the whole things a metaphor not an extended metaphor just a bunch of shorter ones
~RoaringSasuke
EDIT: Forgot to say the whole things a metaphor not an extended metaphor just a bunch of shorter ones
The writer":3hyt1val said:May as well update:
**Chapter one: Pain**
Three people are dying. Unknown to the world three souls are rotting as we speak, these three souls are identical although they do not know it. They are next to it each other everyday they are even in the same class but they have never spoken to each other.
...Choose the moment we share in our hearts...
They first person was dead since his birth, the knife plunged through his heart by his own father, the intentions were pure but the result was not. He lives a life ripped from his own body seen only as a monster of nine tails bathed in fire. As he goes through life he is forever confused as to why he is condemned into his body. Behind him a fearful shadow is cast, a shadow that recalls blood spilt over seven years ago. The nine tails that protrude from his back recall the one life lost to save the village. The shadow of this child holds many memories of which none are pleasant. He knows nothing of his past, he is left alone frowned upon by the village. As he sits under the gaze of the village their eyes cutting into him he is left to wonder life’s ultimate question...why?
...It will remain in our hearts forever...
The second has flames burning within his heart. The flames now burn with contention, the want to outshine the man he calls “brotherâ€, this brother has placed the flames with one intention in mind an intention yet to be discovered. The child has forever lived in the shadow of his brother; he wishes desperately to create his own shadow that will allow him to be recognized, the test his father gives him is his first chance to create a shadow, to create a self.
...You are my son, indeed. Well done. From now on be true to the family crest on your back. Refine yourself, and fly high...
At the moment these words touched this child, at the moment these words touched this child’s heart, a feeling of unstoppable euphoria exploded inside. He knew now that he was a true Uchiha, he knew now that he was his father’s son.
...Hai...
As the radiance of his heart rose to his face it was suddenly faltered,
...Also there’s one thing I will tell you. Don’t chase after your brother anymore...
That sudden crack... the broken crest.
With the eyes of a madman he swoops through the village to test his ustawa, no-one can oppose him, no-one survives. The man is lost in unfathomable darkness, his heart is lost forever. Whether he ever truly was a man to call brother is forever unknown, only one child can attain the power to find out. That child runs home oblivious to the slaughter till the eyes of the madman freeze him with an icy glare. He returns to find that al is not as it seems, the stench of death entering his nostrils. When his heart realizes the danger, it hopelessly pleads,
...To-san...Kaa-san...
As he stands before the door that fate has put between them,
...There’s someone in there...
As his hand falters before grasping the handle an icy chill of fear runs through his body. He stands there shaking slightly his mind thinking of one thing, the scene that awaits him. He breathes deeply preparing himself for what awaits and then forces his body to,
...Move...Move...Move!!...
He pulls open the door and a horrific scene meets his eyes, two people are slumped against each other and a silhouette stands over them, his face hidden by the shadow created by the moon. As his face turns two blood red eyes emotionlessly inspect the expected visitor,
...Nii-san! Nii-san to-san and kaa-san are...Why?! Why?! Who could have...
He is silenced instantly as a shuriken slices his arm and lands on the door behind him. He grasps the pain in his arm and squints at the man before him, knowing that it is not his brother.
...Nii-san, what are you...
As he stares into his eyes he can read nothing on his brothers face, he is sure it must be an illusion. His mother and father can’t be dead, his brother couldn’t have killed them, it must be a dream. It must be a dream. A dream,
...What are you doing, nii-san...
...Foolish little brother...
At this moment he realizes it, the true intentions of his brother. As his brother closes his eyes and he can feel the killing intent rubbing off his brother and he knows at that moment,
...Mangekyou Sharingan...
With a red moon floating over head, the carnage is unleashed as the child experiences the death of the Uchiha clan before his own eyes. Unable to bear the torture he screams out a scream so uncanny, a scream that has never left his mouth before. He closes his eyes and covers his eyes to try and block it out but some how the vision continues. His scream rings out sending chills down even his own spine but it is to deaf ears, there is no-one left to hear his screams. They are all dying before him.
...This child is dying...
A day later he finds himself staring into the lake where he was first accepted in his fathers eyes, he stands and looks into the lake whilst pondering the events of the day before. The flame that once burnt brightly inside him, is now but crackling ashes. It risks being lit only to be black flames of darkness. Two people have the power to stop this, only they can stop the child melting into darkness, all they must do is reach out to the child. Reach out and touch him.
**break: scene change: the valley of the end**
Sasuke shielded his eyes from the explosion of red chakra that had appeared in front of him. He looks on to see a swirl of water surrounding him, This is Naruto...? What is this coercion-ness? He inspects closer with his eyes and sees that his are red with determination, his fingers clawed with anger, three thick lines etched into his face, What was that red chakra just now? Is he a monster? Sasuke’s face hardens as he questions Naruto,
“What exactly are you?â€
Naruto’s face does not change as the words leave his mouth,
“Your friend! That’s why I said I won’t let someone like Orochimaru take you!â€
Sasuke’s eye half closed from the pressure of the chakra and the words entering his ears were only half heard,
“That’s why I said I’ll stop you even if I have to break your arms and legs!â€
At this moment Naruto broke his stance and let loose a high pressure blast of chakra, Sasuke’s guard was opened and Naruto swooped in.
**break: scene change: playground when they are still young**
The third is condemned by the people she wishes to call friends. She is constantly shunned, constantly insulted never befriended. She is in the ultimate darkness, the one that can haunt all people even in the most unexpected situations, it absorbs you and you will do anything to escape it. Even murder only so that you can be alive in one persons eyes, you will cling to the one person who pulls you out and the bond between you will be unbreakable. She sits now on a bench surrounded by onlookers; they poke at her forehead and call her names. She does nothing but sits and bites her hand waiting for them to go away, she sits and waits for the one person who will save her.
They walk away laughing at her, not knowing the damage that they have inflicted upon her, she sits there, alone once again,
...*sob* I – I... I’m *sniff* all alone *sob*...
These three people are dying, they suffer the pains of death, all alone with no hand to pull them out. They do not know that they are all the same, that their souls are linked to one another. They seek each other without knowing it, fate intends to link them together but it may be earlier than you think.
...In our memories they will remain...
Sakura is dying, she is alone crying in the playground. On the bench. Alone.
...Why are you crying...
She looks up to see a figure above her but the defining features she sees are the blond hair and blue eyes, she wipes the tears out of her eyes and looks up,
...They only laugh at your forehead because you cover your forehead...
She sees a warm smile on their face and her heart lightens, she watches them remove something from their head,
...Use this to pull up your hair...
~RoaringSasuke