The mapping, while most certainly having been improved from the original, still requires a bit of work. The big thing I find that its lacking is some kind of border. For instance, for almost every edge tile in your map, you would require a teleport event because it seems natural that there's a path there. My advice would be to outline the path that you want your player to follow first, and then outline the path with stuff like trees, water and other obstacles. These obstacles would extend to the outer-most tiles of your map, thus showing the player where you want him or her to go instead of making areas that look like they lead to other areas but do not. There's an excellent tutorial
here, which goes forest areas step-by-step. Furthermore, for some rather excellent tutorials for other tilesets from the RTP, I found that
this person's YouTube channel is all about that. From these tutorials combined, I swear I went from a horrendous mapper to, at the very least, a decent one.
Furthermore, I find that the storyline is a tad off. It doesn't necessarily seem cliche as much as it does unexplained, as though the entire plot is a deus ex machina. I know that you kinda want to keep it a secret to heighten suspense, but it would be more beneficial to you, if you wish for our help on this as a community, to fully reveal your plans for the story. This way, we can find flaws from the beginning and work them out before they've been hammered in too far. What I would suggest is either:
a) Don't make the plot so grandiose in scope, at least not at first. Start out by having a small problem occur within the kingdom, which Sareo is ordered to fix. From there it snowballs. If you choose this path, though, you must try to make Sareo have something going for him that naturally makes him stronger than your average knight.
or
b) Make the plot about the whole war a kind of background that Sareo eventually comes to in the end and instead focus on individual events. One thing I have recognized about every great game I've played is that each town/level/chapter/etc. is unique, memorable, and has its own sub-plot rather than just feeding the big picture.
