Second Sun Stories. [WIP; Rated 'R'; Last Update: 2-8-08]

[Venetia]

Update today: Finished Danaë. Scroll down to the green bookmark to start where yesterday left off.

:D

Next story preview: An Inite slave, with a very unusual circumstance surrounding his Master ...

 

[Yggdrassil]

That was beautiful, Venetia. I loved everything about it, especially the ending.

I can't wait for the next story!

 

[Luminier]

The ending was great, Ven. Also sad.  :sad:

You certainly know how to craft a good tale of woe. Ayup. Oh, and would you care to elaborate on what a "Loretian accent" sounds like? It would certainly help future immersion.

 

[Venetia]

Well Kemetian (spoken by folks from Kemet) would sound ... Eh, I guess Ancient-Egyptian? And Loretian (spoken by people from Loreat) are ... Well I guess vaguely French.

So you'll see a lot of names that are sorta French and a lot that are sorta Egyptian. More Egyptian, though, since this is taking place in Kemet.

The next one will be FAR more light-hearted, and VERY different in style.

 

[Luminier]

French-ish? Well, that certainly makes that guy's voice sound better. Before he sounded like Jeff Foxworthy, for some reason. :x

Also, yay! Less soft sucking sound, and more secks! ... Uh, I think it might be a good idea not to think more about that comment.

 

[e]

French accent? Or...French Canadian! (DUN DUN DUN!)

Something puzzles me about your characters though. They seem to have a fair idea of what their lives would be as a "free" people, suggesting that their slavery is recent; but she constantly refers to the man as "The Master". Now, unless she's submissive by nature, it strikes me as odd that, even in her own private mind, her world, the last place where she possesses freedom of thought, she would call the man, her "owner", someone she must truly despise (and I suppose fear), "Master". But that's just me. Maybe she is submissive? Or I'm missing something here.

 

[Venetia]

I like to think that Danaë isn't capable of hating people; she's too kind. She fears him, but I don't think she hates him.

Also, they don't know the Master by name, so his name is simply, "Master". I don't think it's respect so much as it is ... Just a name.

There's another reason why the Aurites and Inites don't hate their ranch masters as much as it seems they should. I won't get into that, because it'd be a spoiler, but let's just say the stud ranches are toward the bottom of the list of evils they could be enduring.

 

[Venetia]

Hey, this is a double-post, but only to add content.

I started the story, "Seti". You'll find it's a VERY different style to my last approach.

Don't worry, it gets a little funnier

Next update'll have to be after Sunday, though. I'm going out of town to visit the in-laws :sad:

Anyway, have a nice weekend :thumb:

 

[Luminier]

This certainly is much different from Danaë's story. Lots more cursing, and less prego wounds. I liked it very much. Usually, excessive swearing bothers me(more like bores, really), even when intentional. But after the first couple of paragraphs, it didn't feel awkward, or anything. Kudos on that.

Spoiler: Spoilers, and lulz

I was bought by a slimy high-end salesman, named Icaro Kin, when I was six. I know, generally, they buy 'em at puberty. But this guy liked to get 'em young as possible. Did some things I'd rather not remember, certainly things I'd never tell someone in a situation like this.

That wasn't the kind of secks I was ecxpecting! D:

 

[e]

A hand has been ripped off? Why, it must surely be...an Orangutan! (or so Poe would say...)

Great stuff once again. The beginning of the second story was a bit bland, but it turned out pretty nicely. I liked the analogy between desert storms and girls though!

 

[Venetia]

I was thinking about trimming some of that first part out. Seemed kinda weak to me, too.

Sorry it's taking so long to get the next installment done ... The HKCP is wearing me out :wink:

@Lum: Oh nonono that wasn't the secks I was referring to earlier! :'X