Revenge Of Emberline

[thomthom33]

Demo comming soon

Story

1453 7 april
James richtwood was murdered last sunday in his own house, while his wife and doughter where outside working on the field. The villigers fear to death. some have even moved to another village. we canot tolerate this enny more! somting has to be done! The body is being buried tomorow. im inviting evveryone to be there. Me as the mayer have also sended a message to the king of oure lands. In the hope he wil send uss some protection against thos bandits! Yes, bandits we have seen them but we wil leave them alone until King luther has given us some guards.
Message found on a pole in wayvill

7 years later
Its the year 1460 by now and with the guards that came after 16 dayes after the mayer had send the message, the king decided to build up the village to create barracks. so we can make are own warriors, also ann the doughter of james has become 18 now. She has been waiting so long to become a warrior and take revenge, but we dont know if the bandits stil exict. she is old enoth to join the fighter guild and will train so far until she can go explore the lands, going ouside the villige without warriors is forbidden. becouse there are a lot of wild animals and maby even the bandits. but sins the death of james the people of the villige setted up a guild named Emberline, its a guild to eliminate the bandits. the guild has become more stronger sins the guards came and the barracks setted up.

The Land of Aden

The game has over 16 regions to explore, with a mount you can go explore the regions one by one. if you walk from the first region to the last region, it wil take about 3 hours. but to do that you wil need to defeat all living creatures. in the 16 regions there are 9 castles and 16 villiges. but becouse this is the demo you wil be able to explore your own home town. its not big but wil be updatet so that you can go outside the village. make sure you complete all quests to finish the demo and see a secret trailer of the full game under devlopment.

Spoiler: Characters

Name:Max
Age:19
Gender:Male
Information:Max Is a very quiet boy who has been raised by his sister's. his mom and dad have been killed by bandits while asleep 18 years ago. max also likes to colect flowers and place them around town to chear up the villigers, also he works for Mr. norington to help him with his study.

Name:Ann
Age:18
Gender:Female
Information:Ann has had some hard times when she was young, her dad was killed and now joining the emberline guild to help defeat thos who killed him. in the 7 years she has passed the test and has bocome a strong warrior to help defeat the bandits.

Spoiler: Screenshots

 

[Daxis]

The story doesn't really make sense- people are killed all the time, why is everyone making such a big fuss aobut one man's death? The message in the story also goes from grammatically correct to very bad pretty fast, might want to work on that, intentional or not.

The setting sounds ambitious, actually. I mean, 19 castles and 40 somethign villages? There's only so many ways to build a city with RTP.

The facesets/artwork looks really nice. Original?
The characters are really cool and non-cliched. Really.

Screen shots look cool, but you might want to explain some things, like the lights.

Overall, I can't really judge this project, as much too little information has been given. Is it an RPG, with that neverwinter font? It sounds like fantasy without magic, but who knows?

 

[thomthom33]

The story doesn't really make sense- people are killed all the time, why is everyone making such a big fuss aobut one man's death? The message in the story also goes from grammatically correct to very bad pretty fast, might want to work on that, intentional or not.

At the moment i have my word-pad open with the story to make it bether.

The setting sounds ambitious, actually. I mean, 19 castles and 40 somethign villages? There's only so many ways to build a city with RTP.

Yea its alot, but im not the type who make castles huge with 10 maps of outside castle, but the 40 villiges is too much, i have now at the moment 6 villiges on my project.

The facesets/artwork looks really nice. Original?
The characters are really cool and non-cliched. Really.

Most are from Sithjester's, CCOA and original characters.

Screen shots look cool, but you might want to explain some things, like the lights.

It was early, like 6:00 Lichts go off at 8:00.

 

[miss matcha]

Hello thomthom, I thought I'd give you some feedback on your project thread. I'm curious to know, what are you planning on doing with this game? Are you hoping to release it commercially? Is it just a side project that you're working on for fun? Are you hoping to develop a name for yourself as a game designer? If you're only working on this for fun, and you're never really planning on finishing it, then I don't have much to say. But if you're hoping to release it commercially, or if you're hoping to be taken seriously as a game designer, then there are a couple things you should consider. Please keep in mind that I'm only trying to be helpful. I've been working in the video game industry for the past 4-5 years with companies like Popcap, Sony, and EA, so all my feedback is from a purely professional standpoint and not meant as an attack.

1.) You are using original artwork without the permission of the artist. Regardless of whether or not you're hoping to sell your game, this SERIOUSLY damages the integrity of your project. Unlike with the RTP and other materials that were specifically created for community use, the faceset graphics you're using were created explicitly for someone else's game. Although it's obviously not worth their time, legally speaking, they could issue a cease and desist statement against you to prohibit you from using their work in your project. And if you even have a hint of a desire to publish your game, no publisher will even look at a game that contains stolen material because you're opening yourself up for lawsuits. Just something to keep in mind.

2.) You might want to think about getting someone to help you refine your story description. Spelling and grammatical errors aside, it's just very difficult to understand what exactly you're trying to say. I'm going to have to agree with Daxisheart when he asks "why is everyone making such a big fuss about one man's death?" I'm sure that you probably have a good reason, but that's not being conveyed to the reader right now.

3.) The characters seem interesting and unconventional, but again there are two problems here: 1.) The descriptions are convoluted. If you could get someone to help you edit them, I'm sure they'd be a lot more effective... 2.) You're using stolen artwork to represent the characters... not only does this severely damage the integrity of your project, but it would prevent you from ever releasing your game commercially and it will damage your reputation as a game developer. I work frequently with folks at major game portals, and I also know that the person who created this art is not giving you consent to utilize their resources. Given this information, I can guarantee you that your game will not only never be taken seriously, but it will never be published under any major game portal, and if it manages to get far enough to be commercially viable, you're open to a lawsuit. I'm sure you don't want to go down that path so early in your career.

Anyways, good luck with your project. I'm sure that with a little work, and some altering of graphics you could have something good here!

 

[moog]

1.) You are using original artwork without the permission of the artist. Regardless of whether or not you're hoping to sell your game, this SERIOUSLY damages the integrity of your project. Unlike with the RTP and other materials that were specifically created for community use, the faceset graphics you're using were created explicitly for someone else's game. Although it's obviously not worth their time, legally speaking, they could issue a cease and desist statement against you to prohibit you from using their work in your project. And if you even have a hint of a desire to publish your game, no publisher will even look at a game that contains stolen material because you're opening yourself up for lawsuits. Just something to keep in mind.

hi we've been through this 100 times now lets please move along

edit: actually since arb cleaned up the thread you didnt see the mess that was in it, so i wont blame you for your post (you are just trying to help)

thom thom bottom line: if its not yours and youre told its not yours please just take it out to remove problems, ok

 

[thomthom33]

Ok im seeing too much of those coments and il change the tilesets and art. Here is a sample of what im changing, its the medival tilesets i know but im not a artist. Please tel me what you think of it. if it is bad il use the original tilesets.

Spoiler: new tileset:

Yes i know the arrow is upside down ;P

 

[Ellie]

Just give credit to Inquisitor for creating the tileset and then everyone will be happy, k? :cute:

 

[thomthom33]

You mean using his tileset and just give him credit? I wil remove the art and characters, i have my own.

 

[thomthom33]

Now that i have deleted all art in the game including the music, I wil change the Story, characters, screenshots and work a bit on the demo that is comming this month.

Things to do for demo and topic:

• -Remove bugs and cliches in the demo.
  -Remove old characters and faces.
  -Add more detail and bigger maps in demo.
  -Create new characters and faces for demo and topic.
  -A "Working" menu in game.
  -Delete old music, effects, BGM
  -Add music, Sound effects and background music to the game.
  -Write a new and bether story.